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Paul Bearer

Captain Tom Moore

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16 minutes ago, YoungWillz said:

I'll give him the freedom of Kayleigh, my young 20 yo nubile neighbour, if it finishes him off and we never have to hear of this again!

I can hear Tom warbling away...

 

Do you remember barefoot on the lawn with shooting stars
Do you remember loving on the floor in Belsize park
Do you remember dancing in stilettos in the snow
Do you remember you never understood I had to go

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Would be good if the press stopped claiming he "raised money for the NHS" as it suggests it goes towards running costs. 

 

If he had, his fundraising would account for about 0.025% of the annual budget of NHS England alone.

Or about enough to keep NHS England going for two hours.

 

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Now that the Vera duet is a non starter, if he wants his pop career to continue, I've got some free advice - give Toni Tennile a bell and reform The Captain and Tennile.

 

She's probably at a loose end now that the original Captain went overboard and would jump at the chance to do that to him one more time.

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21 minutes ago, harrymcnallysblueandwhitearmy said:

Now that the Vera duet is a non starter, if he wants his pop career to continue, I've got some free advice - give Toni Tennile a bell and reform The Captain and Tennile.

 

She's probably at a loose end now that the original Captain went overboard and would jump at the chance to do that to him one more time.

 

I don't want to be rude but, even in these days of autotune, judging by his performance on that awful recent record, Capt Tom can't hold a note. His timing's off too.

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2 hours ago, Vinegar Tits said:

 

I don't want to be rude but, even in these days of autotune, judging by his performance on that awful recent record, Capt Tom can't hold a note. His timing's off too.

He can mime then, and we'll get Milli or Vanilli in as his ghost singer. I can already see myself as Tom Moore's Tom Parker, the boy has a fine long musical future ahead of him. 

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When you can think of fuck all to buy the ones you love this Xmas here is the answer. Well done Tom for cashing in. His action doll should be out soon too.  'Tomorrow Will Be A Good Day by Captain Tom Moore - review: upbeat and engaging'   https://www.msn.com/en-gb/news/spotlight/tomorrow-will-be-a-good-day-by-captain-tom-moore-review-upbeat-and-engaging/ar-BB198cT2?ocid=spartan-dhp-feeds

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4 hours ago, Bentrovato said:

When you can think of fuck all to buy the ones you love this Xmas here is the answer. Well done Tom for cashing in. His action doll should be out soon too.  'Tomorrow Will Be A Good Day by Captain Tom Moore - review: upbeat and engaging'   https://www.msn.com/en-gb/news/spotlight/tomorrow-will-be-a-good-day-by-captain-tom-moore-review-upbeat-and-engaging/ar-BB198cT2?ocid=spartan-dhp-feeds

I am thinking that he really should have gone for his long walk off of a short fucking pier.

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Nearly died in 2018 after a bad fall for those who need health records.

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2 minutes ago, The Old Crem said:

Nearly died in 2018 after a bad fall for those who need health records.

Why on earth would anybody need 'health records' when the fella is 100 years old and is always one sleep away from meeting his maker anyway?

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Just now, Lord Fellatio Nelson said:

Why on earth would anybody need 'health records' when the fella is 100 years old and is always one sleep away from meeting his maker anyway?

To decide if he could be risked not being used for 2021.

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5 minutes ago, The Old Crem said:

To decide if he could be risked not being used for 2021.

There is a 99.9% chance that he will be in next years list.

1) He is very famous

2) He is fucking old, FUCKING old.

The End

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16 minutes ago, Lord Fellatio Nelson said:

There is a 99.9% chance that he will be in next years list.

1) He is very famous

2) He is fucking old, FUCKING old.

The End

3. He is very British and a bit like Clive Dunn.

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39 minutes ago, Lord Fellatio Nelson said:

There is a 99.9% chance that he will be in next years list.

1) He is very famous

2) He is fucking old, FUCKING old.

The End

 

That just made me LOL.  :lol:

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8 minutes ago, Lafaucheuse said:

Who is he ?

Well, to cut a long story short... Once upon a time there was a nasty man called Adolf Hitler that decided that he wanted to conquer Europe and then, obviously, the World.

Now there was this little Island he could not conquer, infact, this little Island sacrificed so many, whole generations were lost in helping to free Europe and liberate France because they could not do it themselves.

Old Tom is an old Soldier from those times and now walks around on a zimmer frame for 'charidee' or summat.

Hope that helps.

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51 minutes ago, Lord Fellatio Nelson said:

Well, to cut a long story short... Once upon a time there was a nasty man called Adolf Hitler that decided that he wanted to conquer Europe and then, obviously, the World.

Now there was this little Island he could not conquer, infact, this little Island sacrificed so many, whole generations were lost in helping to free Europe and liberate France because they could not do it themselves.

Old Tom is an old Soldier from those times and now walks around on a zimmer frame for 'charidee' or summat.

Hope that helps.

Looks like the beginning of every Asterix Comics... 

Anyway, he is absolutely unknown here in France (maybe we don’t value your help as much as we should but that’s another question...), does a soldier is deathlistable ?

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3 minutes ago, Lafaucheuse said:

Looks like the beginning of every Asterix Comics... 

Anyway, he is absolutely unknown here in France (maybe we don’t value your help as much as we should but that’s another question...), does a soldier is deathlistable ?

 

Everyone can do the Day Today sketch here...

 

"In 1990, he wasn't deathlisty. In 1991, he wasn't deathlisty. In 1992, he wasn't deathlisty. In 1993, he wasn't deathlisty... (sped up for sanity)... in 2019, he wasn't deathlisty, in 2020, he is deathlisty. Hell at the rate of fame he's suddenly got he might replace Boris before Christmas..."

 

The guy's had 6 fucking documentaries in the last 4 months. I know because I watched them all. Hey, there was a fucking lockdown on the go... :lol:

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5 minutes ago, Lafaucheuse said:

Looks like the beginning of every Asterix Comics... 

Anyway, he is absolutely unknown here in France (maybe we don’t value your help as much as we should but that’s another question...), does a soldier is deathlistable ?

 

He's 100 years old and he decided to raise some money for the NHS by walking round his garden with the help of his Zimmer frame.

It caught on in the media and people sponsored him to raise several million pounds.

That's it.  Just a novelty thing really.

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29 minutes ago, gcreptile said:

 

I hear the film's working title is The Most Famous Man in the World (Yes, Really, Willz).

 

:D

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