Leaderboard

Has that joke not just been voted as the funniest joke at the Edinburgh Festival? It is in most of today's papers. Here's another old one..............Went to the pub with my girlfriend last night. Locals were shouting "paedophile" and other names at me, just because my girlfriend is 21 and I'm 50. It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary

Can anyo Snowden, he actually damaged American's view of America, Assange just embarrassed the American government. Three questions - only one of which (3) I expect any on here to be able to answer; 1. What exactly does "soon"? 2. How the fuck does he plan to get out without being arrested? 3. The BBC quoted the cost of the police operation to ensure his arrest upon leaving, i.e a few armed cops stood outside, at 7 million pounds. A) how can a few armed cops cost that much? and B ) why didn't they just assign the task of arresting him to the armed police who would be guarding a nations embassy anyway and save us 7 million pounds? C) Why didn't they just go into the embassy anyway and damn the consequences, most of the nations in the world would be on their side; although I do understand the dangerous precedent concept; special dispensation could easily be argued?

God might be sending him a message after the evil bastard showed his true colours with his endorsement of military action yesterday. Erm.... what? Action to stop ISIS is evil? You joking or..... just taking anti-Americanism a bit far? The intent may not be strictly evil but the strategy is... the public don't want boots on ground as that'll mean our boys in the armed forces who are paid to, and freely chose to, fight in war zones at the prospect of death could get hurt, but if we let the Americans fire air bombs onto areas in ISIS control; almost inevitably killing some civilians we are intended to help and who have no choice to be in the war zone by dropping the bombs then that's fine, in a few months we'll have drop bombs as well and all these aid missions we've been running will have been perfect practice for those runs; notice Cameron using the phrase "no boots on the ground" as opposed to "no combat role". That's not to mention the fact that we backed rebels, who turned out to be jihadists, in Libya a few years back with air support, during the misguided period of the Arab spring combined with our indifference to ISIS's breeding ground situation in Syria is one of the major reasons ISIS has managed to spread it's poison to Iraq. The extreme cynic would also question the convenience of ISIS emerging in the middle east, with few signs of life (life in this context meaning active attacks - someone in Bradford claiming to be a member is not important in this) outside of the region given the fact that America and Britain (the government's not the vast majority of people in either country, who didn't want to gain it in the first place) are about to lose a major strategic armed position for mobilisation elsewhere in the middle east, should the "need" arise, in Iraq with withdrawal from the Iraq War beginning now. The fact Iraq has been a state where America has more or less been at war with somebody since 1990. Furthermore it's worth remembering that the Kurdish people that the west are arming to defend Iraq from Isis are similar to the Syrian rebels, some of whom are aka ISIS, in that nobody really knows what they'll do with the reclaimed land or more importantly the weapons. In summary the west should maybe have done something several years ago in a more targeted fashion, but even then it would have been an extremely dangerous proposition; we have now completely missed that boat and should leave the countries to sort out their own affairs, as per the point of withdrawal. We should accept that ISIS v Iraq is no different to Israel v Hamas, a terrorist insurgency and a state at war over terrorist hiding behind the façade of religion to go about the Neanderthal way of the world; war over inconsequential bollocks that only serves to alienate the people they claim to represent from wider society and ultimately provides a route for the much bigger threat than either side, the American backed western war machine, to roll into their internal affairs.

So that's Cliff in the clear then, according to the Scouse songstress, and is it the same Cilla who thought that the sun shone out of Rolf's arse. Is there a programme due soon called Cilla? i seem to remember some advert for it, as some form of biopic. If ever someone has been in the right place at the right time, it's our Cilla.

Where's George Carman when Cliff needs him? Oh yeah - here.

I guess that post was just hyperbola

Back from holiday (ps Toronto city visit, two very nice weeks in the shadow of the CN Tower) and stuck all the latest figures in my spreadsheet from the last two weeks. Even ignoring the "on the run" possible cases, and projecting only improving clear-up results (not yet really seen) this will not be cleared up within the next 2 years and will cost at least 10,000 lives. So we are now running at an average of 38 new fatal cases per day. And 19% increase on the past 7 day period. Over a 28 day period we now have an 88% increase in the death toll. Over a calendar month that's a 96% increase. Projecting this forward we are still on-target for 41 million deaths by the end of 2015 and 100% worldwide infection by August 2016. Three weeks ago I put together a similar analysis and got that end date to be October 2016. Scream if you want to go faster...

I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper. I only intended to rough him up a bit.

To be more specific, their website made it clear that £10 allows me to keep some pussy warm for Death Impends for a whole month.

I had a really funny joke, but autocorrect ruined the lunchtime.

Yes. Or was it Mr. Takagi? Either way he won't be joining us for the rest of his life.

This guy is clearly high on coke and is wheeled out every Christmas.

Venezuelan beauty queen is shot as punishment for being unable to dance or sing. Apparently the only thing about her was the way she walked. http://www.latintimes.com/venezuela-protests-2014-8-shot-beauty-queen-genesis-carmona-killed-valencia-153416

Wow...... chalk up a rare victory for sanity! Yeah I saw it on the "Recent deaths" page on Wiki but it was only a matter of time before it was removed..... Still interesting though. Apparently they called it the Eisenhower tree because it was always putting the golfers off by whispering stuff in their ears like "Look out for the military-industrial-complex guys, I'm telling you they're coming and they're gonna force us to go into all kinds of unnecessary wars and shit...."

Well St Peter gets to utter the famous line, "aw naw, there's two of them" as Mike joins Bernie http://www.mirror.co.uk/tv/tv-news/comedy-legend-mike-winters-died-2222447

I have that bloody annoying "Down, down, prices are down" going through my head now. Thanks a lot! I hope you also have the red hand pointing in time to the music too. Shame there isn't a .gif for it on here. :-) Dunno if you've seen the latest ad, but it's "Whatever You Want" with "alternative" lyrics featuring Australian peas and toilet roll.