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Buy a new one on Guantanamo Bay ebay for only £1-16p including delivery. Well they would be £1-16p each but with a fucked mouse clicking away at random he would end up buying 221 of them and shelling out around £250.

I would like to meet the old Hollywood - Olivia de Havilland or Maureen O'Hara.

ESPN anchorman Stuart Scott dies after a long, deadpooler-teasing battle with cancer:

You're talkin' about something only Ronnie could do. All this (minimal) talk about new ambassador has been shite, it's like Jesus dying and then someone saying "Oh for fuck's sake. Who's gonna be our new cult magician/saviour now? I vote Geraldus the sheep herder." For starters Simon would never do it because he's not comfortable with "People speculating about death". Can't you notice that from his tweets? He's only comfortable pocketing gazillions from a show that makes fun of and trivializes death, poverty, incompetent parenting, etc.... and then giving it away to ensure the welfare of animals that like to rip off the faces of infants! (And on a side-note here he hasn't even SEEN most of the episodes which do that because he stopped watching it in about 1991 or something after he left the show! See, he hasn't even seen one of the god-awful newest episodes from like 2011-present, (well actually they've pretty much all been at a whole new level of naff since they went widescreen in 2009) and he talks to US about pain! He hasn't even seen the Ted Nugent episode and he expects us to feel bad for him!)

The biggest shock one for me was Peaches. The one I was most gutted about was Rik.

College, smollage. How many collages does the USA have? 100? 500? Each must have a team or two. So I guess thousands of young fit people are playing collage basketball. In that group you may very well get a tragic case of a young person getting a serious cancer. The press are only interested in writing meaty stories and this ticks their box. If she were in the USA women's team then fine. But if she is one regular player with an illness then she can only be famous for the illness and thus the game player picking that ill person is just looking for a short cut to a points payout.

The Telegraph, The Independent, The Daily Mail and the BBC are all reporting his condition so it's a safe bet he'll get an obit when he goes to play on that great pitch in the sky.

That's IMDB being a troll or extremely stupid as Jimmy Perry's death would make the news easily...

We did it. Full time score CLACHNACUDDIN 1 FORT WILLIAM 2. Looks like we might have to look for another team to support.

Does this count for DDP? It's like execution. He's not on my list, so of course it doesn't count.

Peter Falk has alzheimer.

You could also go with, "One foot in the grave"...I'm assuming the detached one is on ebay.