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Jane Tomlinson Killer Ride

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caption_competition_001.jpg

 

Jane, pre-cancer, allegedly.

Even people in Rothwell don't wear that colour. And as for that peggy purse... :D

 

Terminal cancer is always a tricky one. It can mean weeks to live, it can mean - in the case of my auntie for one - seven or so years before she popped her clogs (or running shoes in Jane's case). A better way of putting it would be 'inoperable' cancer, thus terminal but something else might get them beforehand.

 

I wonder if Jane has been claiming Disability Living Allowance, as she's terminally ill she's entitled to claim the care and mobility components at the higher rate, a total of about £105 a week.

 

As a tax payer I strongly object to coughing up for someone who's supposed to be dying and is instead about to cycle across America and who knows, possibly stopping on the way for a cage fight with Mike Tyson and to go over Niagara Falls in a canoe. :D

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How many actresses do you think are out there frothing away and wishing her dead so they can start on the guaranteed weepie blockbuster success The Jane Tomlinson Story.

 

I say it'll go to Jane Horrocks.

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If she's really healthy and it's all been a charity scam why doesn't she just come out and admit it? I'm sure the majority of people who have given money to her cancer charity will not ask for it back as long as it's being used to treat and help genuine cancer patents. In any even she should still be thanked for raising so much money for such a worthy cause, though as a fraud giving false hope to real cancer patients she should be ceremonially kicked from arsehole to brerakfast time.

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Because, Twisted, there's more money to be made and more adulation to be enjoyed. It's kinda like Sinatra's interminable farewell gigs!

 

Personally I don't think she's faking, I think the exercise is helping her fight the cancer and way back on this thread I posted about the need to establish a 'playing for their lives' football league in which those with limited lives push themselves to the limit in the hope of combating the disease. Imagine, a Terminal Carlisle United line up taking the field and a terrace of voices all chanting:

 

CHEMO you Blues!

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she seems to have done some deal with Rupert Murdoch, as she's currently being heavily promoted in the Sun and on Sky. Maybe she'll tell him the secret of immortality in return.

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she seems to have done some deal with Rupert Murdoch, as she's currently being heavily promoted in the Sun and on Sky. Maybe she'll tell him the secret of immortality in return.

Nooooooooooo!

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How many actresses do you think are out there frothing away and wishing her dead so they can start on the guaranteed weepie blockbuster success The Jane Tomlinson Story.

 

I say it'll go to Jane Horrocks.

Not sure how many of my fellow DL'ers will agree with this, but I find Jane Horrocks very attractive. When I have ventured this in the past to some acquaintances, they have considered me to be barking mad.

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How many actresses do you think are out there frothing away and wishing her dead so they can start on the guaranteed weepie blockbuster success The Jane Tomlinson Story.

 

I say it'll go to Jane Horrocks.

Not sure how many of my fellow DL'ers will agree with this, but I find Jane Horrocks very attractive. When I have ventured this in the past to some acquaintances, they have considered me to be barking mad.

You are barking mad.

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Not sure how many of my fellow DL'ers will agree with this, but I find Jane Horrocks very attractive. When I have ventured this in the past to some acquaintances, they have considered me to be barking mad.

 

Oh no, I can see the appeal. She's got a lovely smile, she's funny, intelligent, nice figure and blond hair. I certainly wouldn't kick her out of the hypothetical bed. Not one of my all-time top girls, but fine nonetheless.

janehb.jpg

 

 

Err.. to keep ON topic, I don't think Jane Tomlinson is very attractive at all. In more ways than one.

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I don't think Jane Tomlinson is very attractive at all.

She might have an attractive life insurance policy.

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She might have an attractive life insurance policy.

 

True, but the hubby & kids would come first in the pecking order, I suspect.

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Dame Ellen, bloody hell, only Nigel Mansell and Damon Hill have recorded faster laps of the Top Gear track, that's one over on all the boy racers.

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Dame Ellen, bloody hell, only Nigel Mansell and Damon Hill have recorded faster laps of the Top Gear track, that's one over on all the boy racers.

So you don't think it was a politically correct bit of fiddling then? Heroine of the hour and all that?

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Nope, I think she has a natural ability in this direction and since she's pint sized I think the low powered engine of the reasonably priced car probably carried her slightly faster than the taller and heavier specemins usually put in the hotseat.

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I'm also not entirely sure you can get away with a thread involving the words "lesbian" and "fiddling" anymore..............

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What's wrong with having the odd lezza in a string orchestra?

 

Get with the program!

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Saw a small item in yesterday's Evening Standard that said she had "almost" been hit by lightening. This lady is going to outlive all of us.

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Jane Tomlinson is not at all well on her current bike ride. Maybe her illness is catching up with her at last. I'm not the kind of person to wish someone dead .... but she's my joker in the DDP.

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"The futility of the trip is not lessening with the miles that have gone"

 

F**k me that's deep, she could be talking about - like - all human life, ever.

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Saw a small item in yesterday's Evening Standard that said she had "almost" been hit by lightening. This lady is going to outlive all of us.

 

what, she was nearly the victim of an over-effective crash diet?

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Jane Tomlinson is not at all well on her current bike ride. Maybe her illness is catching up with her at last. I'm not the kind of person to wish someone dead .... but she's my joker in the DDP.

 

Either that or she's doing some kind of spin boo-hoo job to make us pay more for charity and coo how brave she is. She should be working for Bliar, really, not cycling.

Severe pain in back, hip & pelvis? Well, I would imagine most people would have the same with that amount of cycling.

Her weight has plummeted? Well, so has mine since I bought an exercise bike. I would imagine cycling in the heat does lose a few calories.

 

Sorry, Jane, I ain't convinced you're ill until you go ahead & die. And the longer it has taken for you to do so, the more I fail to believe you.

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Jane Tomlinson is not at all well on her current bike ride. Maybe her illness is catching up with her at last. I'm not the kind of person to wish someone dead .... but she's my joker in the DDP.

 

Either that or she's doing some kind of spin boo-hoo job to make us pay more for charity and coo how brave she is. She should be working for Bliar, really, not cycling.

Severe pain in back, hip & pelvis? Well, I would imagine most people would have the same with that amount of cycling.

Her weight has plummeted? Well, so has mine since I bought an exercise bike. I would imagine cycling in the heat does lose a few calories.

 

Sorry, Jane, I ain't convinced you're ill until you go ahead & die. And the longer it has taken for you to do so, the more I fail to believe you.

I wonder if I can make a substitution in my DDP team? I can't find anything in the rules about terminally ill people actually being perfectly healthy. If it turns out that she's made it all up, I put her on my list on a false premise.

And all those people who donated money to charity should get a refund.

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When she gets to New York she's sailing back home, with Hilary Lister at the controls, or summat.

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