Youth in Asia 1,087 Posted June 18, 2007 Well I for one think it's the passing of a true giant Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cowboy Ronnie 78 Posted June 18, 2007 Manning laughs at death list. Not our one, but seems like a good sport. He's not laughing any more. According to a few sources, Bernard Manning was a prison guard for Rudolf Hess at Spandau Prison. Maybe that's where he picked up the bulk of his material. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Monoclinic 39 Posted June 18, 2007 Well I for one think it's the passing of a true giant Serious mistype there, in my IMHO it is the passing of a true git; racist git, sexist git... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
themaninblack 2,112 Posted June 18, 2007 Manning laughs at death list. Not our one, but seems like a good sport. He's not laughing any more. According to a few sources, Bernard Manning was a prison guard for Rudolf Hess at Spandau Prison. Maybe that's where he picked up the bulk of his material. Yeah, but Rudolf's timing was rubbish! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Saint Peter 14 Posted June 18, 2007 Well I for one think it's the passing of a true giant Serious mistype there, in my IMHO it is the passing of a true git; racist git, sexist git... I remember him quipping at the suggestion at being a racist once. "Just because a dog is born in a stable, dosen't mean it's a horse". Clever, however in this day and age so unPC. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Harvester Of Souls 40 Posted June 18, 2007 Serious mistype there, in my IMHO it is the passing of a true git; racist git, sexist git... Like most reality TV contestants then... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Windsor 2,233 Posted June 18, 2007 I had him on one of my lists. With any luck it was the DDP. Didn't he just go to his own wake a week or so ago? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lady Die 63 Posted June 18, 2007 Just for the record, I posted his death first Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Paul Bearer 6,102 Posted June 18, 2007 Just for the record, I posted his death first You certainly did, but you posted it in the 'dead thread' Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Captain Oates 21 Posted June 18, 2007 I had him on one of my lists. With any luck it was the DDP. Didn't he just go to his own wake a week or so ago? Yes, Windsor, you have him on DDP. So do I. And so do another 31 teams! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Real Madron 6 Posted June 18, 2007 well - i think it was all gonna go downhill after the Bird Flu Scandal Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Windsor 2,233 Posted June 18, 2007 I had him on one of my lists. With any luck it was the DDP. Didn't he just go to his own wake a week or so ago? Yes, Windsor, you have him on DDP. So do I. And so do another 31 teams! Excellent. Only my second hit of the year though. In better news it helps extend my lead over a certain someone in the shadow DL competition... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lard Bazaar 3,799 Posted June 18, 2007 Hurrah, my very first DDP hit! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,647 Posted June 18, 2007 Hurrah, my very first DDP hit! Congratulations Lard, I'm sure there'll be many more. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,647 Posted June 18, 2007 Lest we forget, or summat. BBC News now indicating a kidney condition. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Madame Defarge 21 Posted June 18, 2007 Well done, Lardy. He seems to be smiling...can't be sure. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
harrymcnallysblueandwhitearmy 1,689 Posted June 18, 2007 According to a few sources, Bernard Manning was a prison guard for Rudolf Hess at Spandau Prison. Maybe that's where he picked up the bulk of his material. Another rumour I’ve heard is that just before being admitted to hospital he got so sick on Cake he puked up his own pelvic bone. It’s a fooking disgrace. Still, at least he’s supplied his own obit, in that most suitable of publications. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lady Die 63 Posted June 19, 2007 Just for the record, I posted his death first You certainly did, but you posted it in the 'dead thread' A mere technicality Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,647 Posted June 19, 2007 Telegraph obit a very fair assessment I'd say, the paragraph about his gig in Las Vegas in the mid-seventies is well worth a look. He was offered more work in America. I reckon he'd have gone well in the deep south, assuming they could have got past his accent. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lady Die 63 Posted June 19, 2007 He wrote his own obituary, published in the Daily Mail. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Youth in Asia 1,087 Posted June 19, 2007 A selection of his jokes from around the net: ** Quasimodo returned home after a hard days bell-ringing at Notre Dame. On arriving indoors he noticed the wok was on the kitchen table."Oh good, are we having Chinese for dinner?" Quasi asked his wife. "No",she replied, "I'm going to iron you a shirt". ** When's the best time to sell an irishman a plot of land? When the tide's out. ** A blind man goes into Lewis’s. An assistant spots him standing in the middle of the ground floor swinging his guide dog around by its lead above his head. The assistant says ‘Can I help you sir?’ The man replies: ‘No thanks. Just looking round.’ ** Don't laugh at the Holocaust. My dad dies in Auscwhitz. Yeah, he fell of the watchtower and broke his f....g neck. ** A Chinese and an English men speaking in a Chinese Takeaway. English men "where's your bin?" "I've been to Hong Kong" "No, no - where is your wheelie bin?" "I've weally bin to Hong Kong" ** English, Scots & Irish mountaineering teams were attempting to climb Mt Everest. The English team made it to 15,000 feet then called Base Camp on the radio to say bad weather had forced them to quit. Next the Scots team made it to 25,000 feet but they too had to radio down and admit defeat due to frostbite. Finally the Irish team called down to Base Camp when they were just 100 feet off the summit: 'Hello down there, we're calling off the climb' 'Oh, sorry to hear that. What's the problem? Weather? Frostbite? Oxygen?' 'No, nothing like that, we've run out of scaffolding...' ** What's the difference between an Iraqi woman and a pilchard?" he would ask: "One's oily and greasy with f*****g bulging eyes, and the other's a fish. ** A woman asks her husband for £3000 for a boob job. £3000 ? you must be ******ing joking he said, get a folded up piece of toilet paper & keep rubbing it up & down your cleavage. Will that make my boobs bigger she asks. Why not says he - it works well enough on your arse ** Manning on 'Comic Relief'. Lenny Henry and his wife showing Ethiopeans how to eat six meals a day. ** Quasimodo goes into a pub. "Scotch whiskey, please." Barman says: "Bells alright?". Quasimodo says "Mind your own f***ing business." ** An Englishman, a Cuban, a Japanese man and a Pakistani were all on a train. The Cuban threw a fine Havana cigar out of the window, explaining: “They are ten a penny in my country.” The Japanese man threw out a Nikon camera out of the carriage, adding: “These are ten a penny in my country.” The Englishman then picked up the Pakistani and threw him out of the train window. He's no more racist than Gervais, Ross etc, but didn't try to dress it up with postmodern irony. And there's nothing wrong with laughing at other races anyway - there's no country that doesn't do it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Anubis the Jackal 77 Posted June 19, 2007 Whats black & annoyed? The reincarnation of Bernard Manning Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
themaninblack 2,112 Posted June 19, 2007 What programme was that on? I can remember the sketch. Twenty years ago, doesn't time fly...20 YEARS since The Smiths split! I remember when they were celebrating 20 years of Sgt Pepper, now it's 40 years! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Banshees Scream 110 Posted June 20, 2007 Personally I've never heard of this Bernard Manning joke but I've seen his face before, and out of all these minor British actors and famous celebrities that I've never heard of, there absence on the list surprises me, especially when I see the most lame f****n picks ever like Roddy Piper especially. It's so depressing. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
