Drunk? Bored?? Psychopath???

[Canadian Paul 97]

Banshee's Scream. You are on my ignore list, but this post is for you. I was at a bar tonight, scouting music talent, and one of the artists sang this line: You talk sh*t about people that you don't even know. They probably live right in New York. And I was all like, I talk sh*t about BS and HE lives in Albany, New York! It was powerful man, really powerful. I have newfound respect for you all of the sudden.

[Harvester Of Souls 40]

Too much yappin and not enough drinkin...

[Star Crossed 33]

No it's ... a good night , a night for good people man. A night for good ... appreciation and doing ... alright. We should all be alright. We should all be alright.

This image seems almost too apposite. Now, I'm not a physicist, but... it's almost as if, refracted in some quantum way through the lens of the eternity of a warpable space-time continuum, BS's entire existence on this forum were, in fact, not only the precursor to, but also the result of the epiphany imbued upon us by Anubis' post.

 

The soundtrack to this post can be found

here.

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,218]

No it's ... a good night , a night for good people man. A night for good ... appreciation and doing ... alright. We should all be alright. We should all be alright.

This image seems almost too apposite. Now, I'm not a physicist, but... it's almost as if, refracted in some quantum way through the lens of the eternity of a warpable space-time continuum, BS's entire existence on this forum were, in fact, not only the precursor to, but also the result of the epiphany imbued upon us by Anubis' post.

 

The soundtrack to this post can be found

here.

 

Thats quite impressive my dear.

Now if you had been sober when composing that, it might have made a little more sense.

[Godot 149]

I note that the site has now passed 100,000 posts, a substantial minority originating in Cumbria.

[Star Crossed 33]

I had a few too many of Mr. Kipling's Brimley Apple Pies last night, mea culpa.

 

I still contend, however, that there is a yawning chasm twixt the occasional drunken posting spree and the incessant, humourless, ditto-monkey postwhoring of which I am such an opponent. I just thought I'd post to let you all know that.

 

Edit: Before anyone chips in with a joke about "spanking my ditto-monkey", I'd like to make that joke first. Thanks. I think I'm still drunk.

[Banshees Scream 110]

Only if I could be this way 24\7. Life is dynamite. .................... someday I'll look back ... and I'll say the life I lived was brilliant. I might not got the beautiful girl I loved, you might not have everything you knew, you might not have what everyday people own but you got it,

 

One time this guy was losing his mind, his girlfriend and his job. I turned him around and said and looked at him and said 'Man, you got to believe in yourself, and you got to believe in what you do. Well him and his girlfriend are back together today and he still has his job

 

And he still calls me today and says 'thanks' I'll never forget it. Ah

 

Life is priceless. There are some things money can't buy.

[Canadian Paul 97]

Only if I could be this way 24\7. Life is dynamite. .................... someday I'll look back ... and I'll say the life I lived was brilliant. I might not got the beautiful girl I loved, you might not have everything you knew, you might not have what everyday people own but you got it,

 

One time this guy was losing his mind, his girlfriend and his job. I turned him around and said and looked at him and said 'Man, you got to believe in yourself, and you got to believe in what you do. Well him and his girlfriend are back together today and he still has his job

 

And he still calls me today and says 'thanks' I'll never forget it. Ah

 

Life is priceless. There are some things money can't buy.

 

And that man grew up to be... David Berkowitz.

 

And now you know the rest of the story.

 

[Banshees Scream 110]

Ay Paul, ay ay ay. Ay Paul, watch ya mouth Paul ay. Ay. Paul Ay. I bet Paul ay has lists ay of people he wants to kill ay in real life ay. Ay ay ay ay. Paul ay. Put the gun back under your bed Paul ay ay. Death is not what is is abowt It's not what it is abowt. Next time don't be outspoken for no good reason - Ay? OK. I'm so glad I'm being clear Paul.

 

 

[maryportfuncity 10,639]

There are some things money can't buy.

 

And for everything else, there is Barclaycard.

 

Or don't you have that commercial in the States?

[Banshees Scream 110]

And for everything else, there is Barclaycard.

 

Or don't you have that commercial in the States?

 

I've never seen them on TV - I've never seen this banned one either/

 

[Octopus of Odstock 2,186]

There are some things money can't buy.

 

And for everything else, there is Barclaycard.

 

Or don't you have that commercial in the States?

 

 

We don't have that commercial here, either, MPFC.

 

I think you'll find it's Mastercard, not Barclaycard.....

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,218]

As I got stinking drunk on Friday night and struggled in vain to remain sensible, see what i was typing and remain

inoffensive and coherant,I would like to humbly appologise to anybody who I offended, angered or bemused.

Thank you

 

PS: All of the above does not apply to BS and probably SC ( who is always badly behaved anyway)

[Brinsworth House Baiter 12]

As I got stinking drunk on Friday night and struggled in vain to remain sensible, see what i was typing and remain

inoffensive and coherant,I would like to humbly appologise to anybody who I offended, angered or bemused.

Thank you

 

PS: All of the above does not apply to BS and probably SC ( who is always badly behaved anyway)

 

Hey, Lord,

 

Still on your bender?

 

Only asking as there only seems to be a couple of posts since this one (the last one was class by the way!).

 

Keep posting- don't let offending, angering or bemusing anyone stop you from posting. It's like walking back into that pub at morning opening time and saying 'okay, so who the f**k did I upset last night and is there a contract out on me?'

 

Maybe. If you drink in the kind of pubs that I do in my head, but in reality are quite safe until the gunman walks in...f**k, see? There I go again...

 

Come on, get posting- or, in language you might understand at the moment...gte potsing.

 

Cheers,

 

BHB

[Banshees Scream 110]

Right now I'm very outgoing. Very outgoing. It's one of those nights where I could talk with ... just about anybody.

 

George W Bush could walk right in and sit on the couch ... and I could have a major discussion with him.

 

After saying 'how you doing' 'hows the daughter that went to a local college' Get any pretzels lately ... I would eventually get to the point of ... George ... isn't it about time you put the bible away and actually read the death count of our people in Iraq, not to mention all the innocent people who have been killed just for a substance called Oil? The top drawer is over there George.

 

I would say 'think of it like this' If Jesus were alive today, do you actually think he would say 'Read Genesis' I mean Jesus would say 'George' war is hell man, bring the troops home, declare peace, and drink some cheap wine for god sakes. Let's be rational about this.

 

Anyway, I'm going to share a little story with everyone. Several years ago I got in some trouble with the law ... I was cutting school regularly and 'having a 143 IQ' 'so they told me' I felt that I could pass my classes by only attending about three days a week. Sometimes four. I did pass most of my classes, but to screw me over the attendance office couldn't deal with my success so to use me as an example, they rang up social services.

 

Now after being 'accused' of abusing the system about two or three times a woman who was very overweight came to my home and explained the rule of attendance. What seriously bothered me was 'she brought Macdonald's' into my home. She was chewing Macdonald's French fries at my table, in my home. The soda was also being sipped. I wasn't always very nice to her, a few times I asked her about the TV shows she enjoyed 'she liked Friends' the whole show was a bunch of losers to me 'besides Jenifer Aniston' and it was very annoying and I feel people shouldn't be having lunch when they are in your presence too literally f**k you over.

 

This is another story now. Last one for tonight. Now I'm sure a good deal of you have encountered similar situations and in my view responses like these are absolutely uncalled for. One time I was in a restaurant and I had already ordered, and there was an very impatient African American couple. Now I'll tell you right now, if you are a sophisticated person in this world you would know all people are the same and to 'seriously' discriminate is like using candles instead of electricity. Now his wife and his young son were complaining, they were making 'a big scene' and it was all about the guys lack of patience. After exchanging words with the waitor 'or some person who worked there' the guy said outloud 'CAusE wERe BLAck!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Uncalled for man. So uncalled for. Half of the people in the place looked at him, and he left just like that 'using his race as a weapon for his own impatience' He walked out .. Scum bag - f****n Scum bag

 

I f****n hate it when anybody tries to use something very insignificant about themselves as a reason for there own screw ups. Racism is something in this world that is very delicate and people still back down when a paranoid African American says slurrs like that because they are in fear 'of being labeled' a racist. That guy needs to take a chill pill and he needs to find out who Martin Luther King is. ...

 

Good Nite Folks!

[Star Crossed 33]

... I was cutting school regularly and 'having a 143 IQ' 'so they told me' I felt that I could pass my classes by only attending about three days a week. Sometimes four. I did pass most of my classes, but to screw me over the attendance office couldn't deal with my success so to use me as an example, they rang up social services.

As honez noted, BS does display narcissistic tendencies but, if one looks very closely, one detects a whiff of paranoia in there to boot. Banshees Scream; as complex as a fine claret, as simple as a hammer.

 

I f****n hate it when anybody tries to use something very insignificant about themselves as a reason for there own screw ups.

Don't we all, BS, don't we all?

[Banshees Scream 110]

Alright so tonight reminds me of a true story that was just outrageous at the time 'and when I think about it' it's still pretty outrageous to me.

 

Now I'm not always crazy for parties but one time I was at this chicks house 'and she had a very affluent home' expensive paintings hanging on walls ..... white carpeting .... flat screen TV's and everything else. I'm somebody who comes in and says hello 'how are you' 'it's wonderful to see you' 'O you look beautiful' 'look at this house ... you know how it is.

 

So after having a drink this rich chick 'who was rebellious in her own way' but a complete suck up to her friends and family for example 'so one of those' said 'OK everybody outside' ........ and I'm somebody who after about fifteen minutes deserts the entire crowd. If you want to come hang out with me, I don't mind but I'm not really into sitting outside in front of a pool with these 'people' who to be honest I wasn't really interested in hanging out with them. I only went because I felt that I had too.

 

Anyway I went into the living room and decided to lay down on the couch. It had a nice coffee table and a big TV so I decided to relax in there 'and this girl wasn't the type to be disrespectful' and say 'What are you doing? She could care less ...... but her Puerto Rican friend 'was probably' drunk and right behind the couch 'imagine to the left' was the screen door.

 

I hear her say 'Who is this rude f****n creep laying on your couch? Those were her exact words. I'm cracking up as I hear this but the only mistake I made was I left my drink 'on the floor' instead of the coffee table and now remember 'the rugs are white'

 

So as the couch is against the wall, to the left is the door. I get up and knock the drink over .... and it stains the white rug where all of them will walk in. I have no idea why I put it on the floor ... but when she walked it she went all 'OMG' what have you done. 'No drinks in the living room! I told you that! And her Puerto Rican friend was giving me dirty looks. It was embarrassing.

 

I wasn't invited back.

[Canadian Paul 97]

Drunk? Yes. Bored? Yes. Psychopath. Hell yes.

 

I'd like to give a shout out to my homie Octopus of Odstock. Rock on fool. Also props to my homies keeping it real in Scotland, scsibear and Lady G. To the rockstar in Dallas, CarolAnn. To Madame Defarge Death Barge, keepin' it real. To Star Crossed, fight the man! To NAP and TF, brilliance at its finest. To Windsor, more power to you! To DDT, don't stop belivin'. To FF, damn diggity. To Monoclic, keep repin' Belgizzy. To RA, keep FSA real dawg! To SttG, keep impin' the rep of the big F; Northern Calloway to the max yo. To 'arry... something inspirational! To those I haven't mentioned, feel the love!

 

Down with Banshee's Scream! Fight the opposition!

 

Vive le Quebec libre!

 

We need more DL love.

[Banshees Scream 110]

Coming ?? ?? ????... Rated (PG?) (PG13?) (R?) (M?) Not yet rated.

Edited January 31, 2008 by Banshees Scream

[Star Crossed 33]

TAFKAG, don't start. Life Began At 5 O'Clock for you and ended shortly after. Joining again with the same online persona wasn't the smartest move. This time, hopefully, you'll gain a sense of perspective and settle down. Until then, take criticism with aplomb. The reason this forum can be a hard school is because we have standards, as I discussed with you last time you tried to join in. We don't like people like iain, who post inaccurate crap. If you can't post something informative, post something funny. By funny I don't mean a huge jpeg of some semi-naked girl whose birthday you just googled, I mean something which actually took you a bit of effort or was actually... funny. Your Swayze poem was good work. If you don't like the fact that some of us care about standards here, there are other forums. I've been told that the Hartlepool Deadlypool forum is almost an exact duplicate of this one, busier too, but I never go there so maybe you'd be better-off pissing in the shallow end of that (dead)pool...

 

CP, why would you join in? You've nothing to gain. Here's $0.25, go buy yourself a bagel and a sense of humour, you soulless f*****g automaton. As for your comment about my posts being off-topic and attention-whoring? Laughable, Mr. I'm-the-man-with-the-deadpool-info-you-really-want, laughable. I don't know why you'd bother starting another round of public arguments with me; you'll always be a few steps behind on the evolutionary ladder. Yeah, all your posts are on-topic, yeah you contribute more to the look-i-just-trawled-another-newspaper-for-news-of-a-dying-celebrity-and-i-posted-it-here-before-anyone-else thread than most, but that has scarcely equated to anything approaching a quality contribution, in the opinion of most around here. I'm sure the Admins could, if they could be arsed, write some sort of searchbot program which would perform your function better and cheaper. Among the 'community' that is DL, you're the guy who collates articles for the village newsletter; the pen-pushing work-experience boy who tries hard but will never be in on the in-jokes, because he just doesn't get them.

 

If anyone else wants to know why they're unworthy of licking the dog-sh*t from DL's boot-heel, I have a window around 15:00 today. Leave a message on the answerphone. And make it short; chipboard doesn't assemble itself, you know.

[Cowboy Ronnie 78]

Good, always nice to see this thread heating up a little. On the subject of TAFKAG's "misleading" post: 1) despite the "Death by Jazz" name most of the posts in the thread are not about musicians dying, rather it has become the repository of all things jazz related; 2) TAFKAG entitled the link to the article "hangs up his horn", which strictly speaking is exactly what Humphrey Lyttleton did, i.e. he didn't die, and 3) TAFKAG even spelled out that his phrasing wasn't a euphemism.

 

Now, where can I get one of those 25 cent bagels? I'm starving.

[Star Crossed 33]

Good, always nice to see this thread heating up a little. On the subject of TAFKAG's "misleading" post: 1) despite the "Death by Jazz" name most of the posts in the thread are not about musicians dying, rather it has become the repository of all things jazz related;

Fair enough, I'll concede that her jazz-related post was in the correct thread.

 

2) TAFKAG entitled the link to the article "hangs up his horn", which strictly speaking is exactly what Humphrey Lyttleton did, i.e. he didn't die,

Firstly, strictly speaking, "hanging up his horn" is categorically not what Lyttelton did, unless that is some bizarre ritual to be followed when leaving a job at BBC Radio 2. Leaving Radio 2 is what he did; I doubt he'll "hang up his horn" for quite some time, if ever. That he didn't die is immaterial to this discussion.

Secondly, you could at least pay Humphrey the courtesy of spelling his surname correctly.

 

and 3) TAFKAG even spelled out that his phrasing wasn't a euphemism.

Far be it from me to dip my perfectly-formed toes into the foaming cesspool of semantic pedantry but, technically, his phrasing was a text-book example of a euphemism, given that Mr Lyttelton hasn't actually "hung up his horn". A euphemism not for death, but for retirement, rendering both Life Begins At 5 O'Clock/Six TAFKAG's assertion to the contrary, and your analysis, wholly inaccurate.

[To die for 3]

TAFKAG, don't start. Life Began At 5 O'Clock for you and ended shortly after. Joining again with the same online persona wasn't the smartest move. This time, hopefully, you'll gain a sense of perspective and settle down. Until then, take criticism with aplomb. The reason this forum can be a hard school is because we have standards, as I discussed with you last time you tried to join in. We don't like people like iain, who post inaccurate crap. If you can't post something informative, post something funny. By funny I don't mean a huge jpeg of some semi-naked girl whose birthday you just googled, I mean something which actually took you a bit of effort or was actually... funny. Your Swayze poem was good work. If you don't like the fact that some of us care about standards here, there are other forums. I've been told that the Hartlepool Deadlypool forum is almost an exact duplicate of this one, busier too, but I never go there so maybe you'd be better-off pissing in the shallow end of that (dead)pool...

 

CP, why would you join in? You've nothing to gain. Here's $0.25, go buy yourself a bagel and a sense of humour, you soulless f*****g automaton. As for your comment about my posts being off-topic and attention-whoring? Laughable, Mr. I'm-the-man-with-the-deadpool-info-you-really-want, laughable. I don't know why you'd bother starting another round of public arguments with me; you'll always be a few steps behind on the evolutionary ladder. Yeah, all your posts are on-topic, yeah you contribute more to the look-i-just-trawled-another-newspaper-for-news-of-a-dying-celebrity-and-i-posted-it-here-before-anyone-else thread than most, but that has scarcely equated to anything approaching a quality contribution, in the opinion of most around here. I'm sure the Admins could, if they could be arsed, write some sort of searchbot program which would perform your function better and cheaper. Among the 'community' that is DL, you're the guy who collates articles for the village newsletter; the pen-pushing work-experience boy who tries hard but will never be in on the in-jokes, because he just doesn't get them.

 

If anyone else wants to know why they're unworthy of licking the dog-sh*t from DL's boot-heel, I have a window around 15:00 today. Leave a message on the answerphone. And make it short; chipboard doesn't assemble itself, you know.

Ouch...did TAFKAG turn you down last time SC?

[Godot 149]

TAFKAG, don't start. Life Began At 5 O'Clock for you and ended shortly after. Joining again with the same online persona wasn't the smartest move. This time, hopefully, you'll gain a sense of perspective and settle down. Until then, take criticism with aplomb. The reason this forum can be a hard school is because we have standards, as I discussed with you last time you tried to join in. We don't like people like iain, who post inaccurate crap. If you can't post something informative, post something funny. By funny I don't mean a huge jpeg of some semi-naked girl whose birthday you just googled, I mean something which actually took you a bit of effort or was actually... funny. Your Swayze poem was good work. If you don't like the fact that some of us care about standards here, there are other forums. I've been told that the Hartlepool Deadlypool forum is almost an exact duplicate of this one, busier too, but I never go there so maybe you'd be better-off pissing in the shallow end of that (dead)pool...

 

CP, why would you join in? You've nothing to gain. Here's $0.25, go buy yourself a bagel and a sense of humour, you soulless f*****g automaton. As for your comment about my posts being off-topic and attention-whoring? Laughable, Mr. I'm-the-man-with-the-deadpool-info-you-really-want, laughable. I don't know why you'd bother starting another round of public arguments with me; you'll always be a few steps behind on the evolutionary ladder. Yeah, all your posts are on-topic, yeah you contribute more to the look-i-just-trawled-another-newspaper-for-news-of-a-dying-celebrity-and-i-posted-it-here-before-anyone-else thread than most, but that has scarcely equated to anything approaching a quality contribution, in the opinion of most around here. I'm sure the Admins could, if they could be arsed, write some sort of searchbot program which would perform your function better and cheaper. Among the 'community' that is DL, you're the guy who collates articles for the village newsletter; the pen-pushing work-experience boy who tries hard but will never be in on the in-jokes, because he just doesn't get them.

 

If anyone else wants to know why they're unworthy of licking the dog-sh*t from DL's boot-heel, I have a window around 15:00 today. Leave a message on the answerphone. And make it short; chipboard doesn't assemble itself, you know.

 

This has to be an early contender for a Monkey, bursting with bile from every pore. Scrumptious.

 

One small correction, the Hartlepool Deadlypool these days is somewhat less lively than the average audience for the Sky at Night which I understand is running at about two per programme and then only because SC tapes it for a second viewing.

[Star Crossed 33]

... the Hartlepool Deadlypool these days is somewhat less lively than the average audience for the Sky at Night which I understand is running at about two per programme and then only because SC tapes it for a second viewing.

Sometimes the viewing figures go up a little, when your mum comes round to watch it with me.