Drunk? Bored?? Psychopath???

[rockhopper penguin 2,265]

28 minutes ago, Mr D Mentia said:

"National Womens Day"...

Next time i hear something about womens rights, im going to slit my wrists and hold them both under salted water.

Women's rights, women's rights, women's rights.

[Joey Russ 7,226]

44 minutes ago, Mr D Mentia said:

"National Womens Day"...

Next time i hear something about womens rights, im going to slit my wrists and hold them both under salted water.

So, you wouldn't mind if I said girl rights, right?

[DevonDeathTrip 2,358]

"Kill Yourself" message left on police officer's car.  

 

Maybe an ex-poster has decided to take trolling to a new level 

[MDavidSteel 15]

sounds like something daniel craig would say

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

So when philosophising about the state of the world (albeit after a bottle) you say 'maybe we should all just kill ourselves now' and you get the response 'you must do what you feel you feel you must do'.  Yep I get the message, my place in the hierarchy is just below the fucking cats. Cunt. 

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,218]

9 hours ago, Lard Bazaar said:

So when philosophising about the state of the world (albeit after a bottle) you say 'maybe we should all just kill ourselves now' and you get the response 'you must do what you feel you feel you must do'.  Yep I get the message, my place in the hierarchy is just below the fucking cats. Cunt. 

Im just mightily impressed you managed to spell 'philosophising' while pissed.

I can barely spell it sober.

 

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

43 minutes ago, Lord Fellatio Nelson said:

Im just mightily impressed you managed to spell 'philosophising' while pissed.

I can barely spell it sober.

 

Yeh, did fuck up on the 'you feel' bit though.  Headache now.

[drol 11,945]

One year today since I came here for the first time as a registered user, 1st April 2016. It was not a joke, though.

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

It's my baby brother's 40th birthday celebrations tonight.  I'm doing a surprise impression of Eamonn Andrews and presenting a This Is Your Life full of completely untrue stories about him alongside a lovely PowerPoint presentation full of dodgy photos.  Which means I have to stay fucking SOBER until I've done it lest I fuck it up and forget my lines.  BALLBAGS!

[CarolAnn 926]

On 4/1/2017 at 10:48, Lard Bazaar said:

It's my baby brother's 40th birthday celebrations tonight.  I'm doing a surprise impression of Eamonn Andrews and presenting a This Is Your Life full of completely untrue stories about him alongside a lovely PowerPoint presentation full of dodgy photos.  Which means I have to stay fucking SOBER until I've done it lest I fuck it up and forget my lines.  BALLBAGS!

 

Yeah, but I bet you can break all kinds of records when you're done. Look forward to that. 

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

13 minutes ago, CarolAnn said:

 

Yeah, but I bet you can break all kinds of records when you're done. Look forward to that. 

I certainly made up for it and finally arrived home at 1050am. I am currently feeling extremely sorry for myself.  However the Eamonn Andrews gig went fantastically and even raised a couple of emotional tears from the little shit! 

[Toast 16,140]

On 01/04/2017 at 16:48, Lard Bazaar said:

It's my baby brother's 40th birthday celebrations tonight. 

 

When you say "baby brother", do you mean he's one of those blokes who gets off on being dressed up in nappies and all that?

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

2 hours ago, Toast said:

 

When you say "baby brother", do you mean he's one of those blokes who gets off on being dressed up in nappies and all that?

He's a prolific shitter, and goes for at least four or five dumps before leaving the house in the mornings, so it would not surprise me in the least if he wore nappies.  What I do know for a fact is that he was still drinking Drambuie at 7 this morning, so he probably has shat his pants at some point today. 

[maryportfuncity 10,646]

On 20/02/2017 at 20:16, Lard Bazaar said:

Who's changed the fucking forums? Change it back at once! 

 

 

Hmm - appears they ain't listening Lardy; you adjusted yet?

[Toast 16,140]

1 hour ago, Lard Bazaar said:

He's a prolific shitter, and goes for at least four or five dumps before leaving the house in the mornings, so it would not surprise me in the least if he wore nappies.  What I do know for a fact is that he was still drinking Drambuie at 7 this morning, so he probably has shat his pants at some point today. 

 

[The Mad Hatter 1,092]

2 hours ago, Lard Bazaar said:

He's a prolific shitter, and goes for at least four or five dumps before leaving the house in the mornings, so it would not surprise me in the least if he wore nappies.  What I do know for a fact is that he was still drinking Drambuie at 7 this morning, so he probably has shat his pants at some point today. 

Instead of getting him a nappy you should get him a death list account. 

[Joey Russ 7,226]

Nevermind. 

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

8 hours ago, maryportfuncity said:

 

 

Hmm - appears they ain't listening Lardy; you adjusted yet?

I still don't like it. And it keeps randomly marking forums as all read so I'm missing vitally important posts! 

[The Mad Hatter 1,092]

On 03/04/2017 at 06:45, Lard Bazaar said:

I still don't like it. And it keeps randomly marking forums as all read so I'm missing vitally important posts! 

Twinkle twinkle little star 

Let's have sex inside my car.

[Joey Russ 7,226]

9 minutes ago, The Mad Hatter said:

Twinkle twinkle little star 

Let's have sex inside my car.

Quit being a dick. Please. 

[Toast 16,140]

1 hour ago, The Mad Hatter said:

Twinkle twinkle little star 

Let's have sex inside my car.

 

[The Mad Hatter 1,092]

1 hour ago, Toast said:

 

Wait how did you get a picture of my ride. Sweet innit.

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

4 hours ago, The Mad Hatter said:

Twinkle twinkle little star 

Let's have sex inside my car.

I'm too fat to shag in a car.

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,218]

1 hour ago, Lard Bazaar said:

I'm too fat to shag in a car.

I think Ive found a car big enough...

 

[The Mad Hatter 1,092]

15 hours ago, Lord Fellatio Nelson said:

I think Ive found a car big enough...

 

You always have to one up me you prick.