Six 23 Posted June 8, 2006 I don't drink but it hasn't stopped me having shameful moments. Had one today at work. I was talking about age gaps in relationships and she said there's 17 years between her and her fiance. "Which way round?" I asked She looked at me horrified "You're not suggesting I'm engaged to a 10 year old?" she asks "You're only 27?" I ask. I honestly thought she was about 40. Ooops Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Windsor 2,233 Posted June 8, 2006 I think I may have a habit on interupting people. I was walking the dog over the beach this evening (its a fat beast and needs the exercise) over the usual route. Anyway, on the way back I go over a hilly area to fully exercise the dog. I ended up 'disturbing' a young couple. On the bright side at least they were fully clothed. On another occassion I took a short cut to work through a park. Anyway, I jumped the wall over to like a garage area. I heard a noise and looked right to find this guy pumping away at his girlfriend against a wall. She wasn't exactly quiet. It wouldn't be so bad, but it was in broad day light. On the bright side, I may have saved two teen pregnancies... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Harvester Of Souls 40 Posted June 9, 2006 On the bright side, I may have saved two teen pregnancies... But on the dark side you now have to sign the register... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TLC 9 Posted June 9, 2006 I've just remember another one! One of my first proper drunken escapades to be promoted to a 'story' was when I was seventeen. One night me & 6 mates went clubbing (the legend that was Zen's in Dartford), and oddly we managed to find one group of 7 girls that we all pulled i.e. snogged. I was only 17 and blessed with that crippling lack of self confidence you can have at that age. Anyway, I digress as usual. So, next day about 3 of my mates met up with their 3 from the night before, although my 'catch' went with them for whatever reason. I get to school on Monday, and everyone is making growling noises at me in between laughing. It turns out that she reckoned I growled in her ear before moving in for the kill... Add that to a first name of Tony, you have Tony the Tiger as a hilarious nickname for the next however many years. In fact, I remembered this because one of my mates was still telling more people about this just last night, not that I care now. If I did, I wouldn't have posted this, I'm not doing this as some sort of therapy. Honest. I've still never managed to think of anything I could have done that would be mistaken for a growl other than I actually did it, or maybe I'm not crediting this girl with enough wit to have made it up. I think that's more of a hope than anything. Ho hum, live & learn etc. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Slave to the Grave 26 Posted June 9, 2006 I've still never managed to think of anything I could have done that would be mistaken for a growl... A drunken belch perhaps or a retch? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TLC 9 Posted June 9, 2006 I've still never managed to think of anything I could have done that would be mistaken for a growl... A drunken belch perhaps or a retch? Nice try, I do appreciate the attempted help but apparently I did it quite quietly, and right in her ear. I doubt one of my drunken belches would sound much like a growl from that distance, it would be more of a roar if anything. You may think differentiating between a roar & a growl is splitting hairs, but in this context I believe it to be a crucial difference. Unfortunately. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Banshees Scream 110 Posted June 9, 2006 I've still never managed to think of anything I could have done that would be mistaken for a growl... A drunken belch perhaps or a retch? You may think differentiating between a roar & a growl is splitting hairs, but in this context I believe it to be a crucial difference. Unfortunately. Agreed here, only the roar is one step higher on the ladder. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Canadian Paul 97 Posted June 10, 2006 I'm currently trying to remember why I had directions to the place of this girl that I'm on and off with pulled up on my screen... very worrisome indeed... at least my phone log doesn't list any outgoing calls... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Handrejka 1,904 Posted June 10, 2006 One of the great things about not drinking is persuading your drunken friends to do silly things while you sit back and watch. A few years ago some friends and I were in a pub, my friends were getting more and more drunk. We spotted our boss at the bar talking to some guys and as nobody liked him and he was delibrately ignoring us we decided to make sure he noticed us by doing sillier and sillier things(throwing bits of chocolate rabbit at him,doing the timewarp etc). Eventually I persuaded my friend Jane to go and talk to him and introduce herself to his friends while wearing a tie on her head and two sanitary pads(which we'd poured red candlewax on) on her chest. She came to tell us that he was at a wake for a friend who'd died tragically and was not amused by our childish ways. Amazingly we kept our jobs Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Windsor 2,233 Posted June 10, 2006 One of the great things about not drinking is persuading your drunken friends to do silly things while you sit back and watch. A few years ago some friends and I were in a pub, my friends were getting more and more drunk. We spotted our boss at the bar talking to some guys and as nobody liked him and he was delibrately ignoring us we decided to make sure he noticed us by doing sillier and sillier things(throwing bits of chocolate rabbit at him,doing the timewarp etc). Eventually I persuaded my friend Jane to go and talk to him and introduce herself to his friends while wearing a tie on her head and two sanitary pads(which we'd poured red candlewax on) on her chest. She came to tell us that he was at a wake for a friend who'd died tragically and was not amused by our childish ways. Amazingly we kept our jobs That must be one of the best story so far. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Terminator 13 Posted March 16, 2009 I hope you aren't tee-total, but wished you'd had a hefty drink beforehand? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RadGuy 1,614 Posted August 24, 2019 On 04/06/2006 at 12:42, Boudicca said: What's the worst thing you've done whilst under the influence? Hmm.... I'm usually a pretty tame drunk but I guess I've done some shit. One time we were having a little kickback at my Nepali friend's house. After about seven shots of Svedka, I accidentally knocked down a little Hindi prayer set-up they had in the corner of a table. I better hope they're fucking wrong in their beliefs or I might be reincarnated as a millipede as punishment. But the best ''drunk dumbass'' stories I have are mostly of my friends. During the St. Patrick's Day Parade in Chicago this past spring, someone in my group (I barely knew the guy) drank a whole water bottle filled with vodka. He ended up throwing up in the train station just as we were about to get on board, and then passing out in the bathroom for over an hour. Took quite a long time of yanking his leg from inside the other stall before he woke up. One time at a party, a friend of mine who was absolutely wasted thought it would be a good idea to take a pill from a stranger. He ended up tweakin' like a motherfucker so we had to carry him out of the party and into my car. We drove him home (I was sober so could drive) but not before he barfed quite a bit in my backseat. And then had to carry him inside his apartment. We got even though by taking the house keys to his dad's mansion (who was on vacation at the time) and having an after-party there. Luckily, nothing bad really happened to him - said he woke up the next morning feeling fine. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Paul Bearer 6,102 Posted August 24, 2019 Just read through this thread again. I've probably done a couple of things whilst having participated in a shandy or two, but I can't recall any of them. Must have been some stonking nights. I'm still alive, so they couldn't have been too bad. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sir Creep 7,070 Posted August 25, 2019 Some tame stories so far. I don't even know where to start or which is better than the rest. I guess the time an approx 21-year old SirC stole the fluorescent light from the Defender machine while in the local college pub, and later he stole an empty pitcher, and he and his 3-4 pals all took a nice piss in it, so half full at least. Drove with it to the center of campus where the Univ President's house was, and SirC in all his black leather clad (think The Clash) glory, snuck up to front door of said Univ Pres home, set the pitcher down, and heaved the fluorescent tube at the bedroom window *POP* and yelled some drunken something or other about Porta John (his name was John Porter, and SirC always joked his name in the phone book is Porter John), and off he ran and off we drove. Had he/we gotten caught, expulsion was the least of our worries. But that is a rather tame story too. Maybe best we leave it right there. SC 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
msc 18,479 Posted August 25, 2019 3 hours ago, Sir Creep said: Some tame stories so far. I don't even know where to start or which is better than the rest. But that is a rather tame story too. Maybe best we leave it right there. SC By definition, no? Anything wilder will be a - possibly embarrassing to mention online. Or identifying. b - sound made up c - the amount of alcohol effects the narrative in telling the story. Like the story where I punched a would be mugger would probably be interesting, cept my memory is "drink, drink, Rammstein, terrible hangover, friends telling the story the next day". There's a few of these where my own memory of events misses out on all the cool bits that happened. But one that is very much A, I guess.. Was having drinks in the student union, when a friend phoned depressed, so I got her down to the bar. 10am. Around 9pm, we head to a nightclub, bumped into girl I fancied who had just split up from her boyfriend, and I thought I was quite charming. Until her and my friend started snogging the fuck out of each other. Yep, my advances turned her lesbian. Go me! Anyhow, that one has a happier sequel. Whole thing led to me being more "c'est la vie" about things, few months later at a house party which stemmed from that night, was slightly tipsy and accidentally introduced myself to a woman who I had completely mistaken for another friend. And that is how I met Mrs Msc. 1 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
