Room 101

[DevonDeathTrip 2,358]

Hi to BansheeScream, The Miser and all our American friends on the Forum. As a Brit I know absolutely nothing about American football - so I don't know who Jack Ramsay is. My sport is the football we play - the one you call soccer. I have been to America before - to New York and Las Vegas. As you will have gathered, I am British - Scots, actually. I now live in Newcastle - upon - Tyne - but I was born and raised in Glasgow - where I have an undying devotion to my native soccer team - Celtic. The city I live in now has a great tradition of soccer as well - and I am now a fully welcome member of the Toon Army - the supporters of Newcastle United.

 

Let me just assure everyone on here who still thinks I'm gay, a thief or a bad person, I'm just a young guy of nearly 25, single, working as a hospital porter, and I just enjoy clubbing, shopping, travelling, watching Newcastle Utd, and chilling out in my flat with Tess.

 

My brother Scot's not gay I can assure you. I'm the gay one in our family.

 

None of the Smart boys are gay. David's got a girlfriend, Darren and Stuart both like girls - and I'm single.

 

Actually Scot as you know, I like girls AND boys. And girls who are boys who like boys to be girls who do boys like theyre girls who do girls like theyre boys.

 

And dogs.

 

You can have the computer back now Scot. I'll make us some ovaltine

 

Scot, I know you are a close family but there are things that are just not Scottish to talk about. I think it might explain why David keeps trying to put his tool in the wrong hole. However many times I tell him that it's not right.

 

David's girl doesn't post on here - she's called Jill - and she's a nurse back home. They met last New Year's Eve.

 

I do so. Nursing and death go hand in hand.

 

Give Tess a stroke for me. She's a lovely dog

 

I think we have a schizophrenic with sexual identity problems using DL has a theraputic medium.

 

I preferred iain's tortured genius to this pointless blather.

[Godot 149]

So who is going to do something about it and what can be done about it? Is it possible to set up a w**nkers' thread or bin for all this offal? It's worse than spam. It's torture - death by drivel.

[TAFKAG 70]

I'd like to put Scot and David and their red f*****g setter into Room 101.

 

And take their posts out of it.

[Banshees Scream 110]

Dear Scot and David,

 

I admit that out of the what (15 guest posts?) that you have displayed I haven't even fully read one of them. Out of all this 'blah blah blah blah bullshit' .. it was simply this line: I'm just a young guy of nearly 25, single, working as a hospital porter, and I just enjoy clubbing, shopping, travelling, watching Newcastle Utd, and chilling out in my flat with Tess........which makes me hope you get killed in a automobile accident or something. I imagine you guys as being of the stereotype who shorten common phrases such as 'whatever' to 'whatevs' or it's possible you exchange unnecessary (high five and low five combinations with your queer bag friends) and the bottom line is nobody likes sun-tanning faggets on this forum. So get the f**k out and don't ever let me 'have to even analyze' a few sentences of the mental illness 'which is your lives' ever again.

[Guest Scot]

Dear Scot and David,

 

I admit that out of the what (15 guest posts?) that you have displayed I haven't even fully read one of them. Out of all this 'blah blah blah blah bullshit' .. it was simply this line: I'm just a young guy of nearly 25, single, working as a hospital porter, and I just enjoy clubbing, shopping, travelling, watching Newcastle Utd, and chilling out in my flat with Tess........which makes me hope you get killed in a automobile accident or something. I imagine you guys as being of the stereotype who shorten common phrases such as 'whatever' to 'whatevs' or it's possible you exchange unnecessary (high five and low five combinations with your queer bag friends) and the bottom line is nobody likes sun-tanning faggets on this forum. So get the f**k out and don't ever let me 'have to even analyze' a few sentences of the mental illness 'which is your lives' ever again.

[honez 79]

Dear Scot and David,

 

I admit that out of the what (15 guest posts?) that you have displayed I haven't even fully read one of them. Out of all this 'blah blah blah blah bullshit' .. it was simply this line: I'm just a young guy of nearly 25, single, working as a hospital porter, and I just enjoy clubbing, shopping, travelling, watching Newcastle Utd, and chilling out in my flat with Tess........which makes me hope you get killed in a automobile accident or something. I imagine you guys as being of the stereotype who shorten common phrases such as 'whatever' to 'whatevs' or it's possible you exchange unnecessary (high five and low five combinations with your queer bag friends) and the bottom line is nobody likes sun-tanning faggets on this forum. So get the f**k out and don't ever let me 'have to even analyze' a few sentences of the mental illness 'which is your lives' ever again.

Sic 'em Banshee...

[Monoclinic 39]

Ultramicroelectrodes and other gubbings that work fine one day and mimic being an arse the next.

[Anubis the Jackal 77]

Yup, we can all relate to that problem!

Ultramicroelectrodes and other gubbings that work fine one day and mimic being an arse the next.

[Monoclinic 39]

Mosquitoes.

 

Or more particularly their vampiristic tendency to stick their proboscis where it's not wanted. One little bugger has had at least 6 mouthfuls of claret from me last night and has not confined its sucking to one area either. Bastards, next time I'm moving somewhere they're not. Any suggestions?

[Banshees Scream 110]

The more you think about mosquitoes, the more you hate them. It's sort of like everybody from Seventh Heaven besides Jessica Beal or Dr. Phil or .. my list could go on and on. .. (can't even be associated)

 

At least there is a chance John Demanjuk might croak in prison.

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,218]

Mosquitoes.

 

Or more particularly their vampiristic tendency to stick their proboscis where it's not wanted. One little bugger has had at least 6 mouthfuls of claret from me last night and has not confined its sucking to one area either. Bastards, next time I'm moving somewhere they're not. Any suggestions?

Portsmouth?

[deadsox 894]

Mosquitoes.

 

Or more particularly their vampiristic tendency to stick their proboscis where it's not wanted. One little bugger has had at least 6 mouthfuls of claret from me last night and has not confined its sucking to one area either. Bastards, next time I'm moving somewhere they're not. Any suggestions?

 

As an outdoors man, I can tell you that any good insect repellent can keep mosquitoes away, but nothing except for a head net and long pants and sleeves can save you from black flies.

[DevonDeathTrip 2,358]

I'm sure drinking gin keeps mosquitos away.

[Banshees Scream 110]

I really hate waking up in the middle of the night (like 4 AM) and seeing one of those paid programs on common channels. First of all, I don't even want to be alive at that hour. There are these commercials "with unbelievably talentless actors" who advertize drugs that improve intercourse with the catch phrase "It makes you bigger!" .. and I feel the people they interview "you know, on the streets" are so uneducated and they appear so vulnerable "as if they trust the product like it's some big f****n second coming of the world" .. and 'this is after I'm awake less then five minutes" they always have some like 45 year old deuche bag with some young 25 year old chick who melts as she looks at him like he is her crack dealer who makes 40% off deals. It's total bullshit. If you are awake after 3 AM, don't turn on the TV.

[honez 79]

I really hate waking up in the middle of the night (like 4 AM) and seeing one of those paid programs on common channels. First of all, I don't even want to be alive at that hour. There are these commercials "with unbelievably talentless actors" who advertize drugs that improve intercourse with the catch phrase "It makes you bigger!" .. and I feel the people they interview "you know, on the streets" are so uneducated and they appear so vulnerable "as if they trust the product like it's some big f****n second coming of the world" .. and 'this is after I'm awake less then five minutes" they always have some like 45 year old deuche bag with some young 25 year old chick who melts as she looks at him like he is her crack dealer who makes 40% off deals. It's total bullshit. If you are awake after 3 AM, don't turn on the TV.

Why so angry, BS? Was the batch you bought a dud or something?

[Monoclinic 39]

Mosquitoes.

 

Or more particularly their vampiristic tendency to stick their proboscis where it's not wanted. One little bugger has had at least 6 mouthfuls of claret from me last night and has not confined its sucking to one area either. Bastards, next time I'm moving somewhere they're not. Any suggestions?

 

As an outdoors man, I can tell you that any good insect repellent can keep mosquitoes away, but nothing except for a head net and long pants and sleeves can save you from black flies.

 

As a chemist I am a bit wary on daily use of insect repellent but nevertheless tried one of those plug things a couple of years ago. I'd like to say it worked well but it coincided with the me keeping the window shut as I was fed up of waking at 4 am to the sound of mmmzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

 

I am led here to grumble again at certain green, "eco-style" companies pulling the wool over the eyes of people who are too stupid to know better. Chemical free repellents! Now unless they are selling vacuums as effective repellents this is quite frankly misleading. I'm sorry but in my book lemongrass oil, mint oil and garlic oil are ALL chemicals.

 

Cretins. I blame the government. I tutored someone a few years ago who couldn't believe me when I said everything had atoms, like the table, chairs, air we breathe etc. Natch, like probably 99.9% of his class he got an A in his GCSE.

[honez 79]

I tutored someone a few years ago who couldn't believe me when I said everything had atoms, like the table, chairs, air we breathe etc.

Egad! I know everything comprises fire/water/earth/air to more or lesser degrees, but come on, you're telling me there are fire atoms? Just wait until Reverend Pickle hears about this at Sunday School. Then you'll be for it, for sure. ;-)

[Monoclinic 39]

I tutored someone a few years ago who couldn't believe me when I said everything had atoms, like the table, chairs, air we breathe etc.

Egad! I know everything comprises fire/water/earth/air to more or lesser degrees, but come on, you're telling me there are fire atoms? Just wait until Reverend Pickle hears about this at Sunday School. Then you'll be for it, for sure. ;-)

 

It's okay, being neither a boy nor of school attending age I think I can cope with the wrath of Reverend Pickle.

[The For Whores Man 4]

Cretins. I blame the government. I tutored someone a few years ago who couldn't believe me when I said everything had atoms, like the table, chairs, air we breathe etc. Natch, like probably 99.9% of his class he got an A in his GCSE.

When I first read this, I thought you had written

I tortured someone a few years ago

I was thinking maybe you are some kind of CIA scientist

 

I would like to deposit torture into Room 101.

[Terminator 13]

I'm sure drinking gin keeps mosquitos away.

 

I did hear in Gambia that the mosquitos are attracted to CO2 emissions (from whatever orifice) and that heavy drinkers breathe out more CO2 that normal (deeper sleeping/longer expiration). All I know that I did "the country" proud and drank more than heavily. After one night, I had over 150 bites across my chest and Lord knows how many on my back. for my part, I can personally confirm that alcohol seemed to attract them my way.

 

Unless, of course, heavy lager abuse is a pheromone to mosquitoes?

 

Can anyone clarify booze v moquito bites????

[Terminator 13]

I'm sure drinking gin keeps mosquitos away.

 

Now I've looked again at the post I replied to, I do recall thqa Gin and Tonic was the preferred drink for the British ex-pats in Kenya etc as it was the tonic water that contained quinine, which helped suppress malaria (or something like that).

 

Is there an expert in the house?

[honez 79]

Is there an expert in the house?

Yes, DL has many experts, all of whom are happy to let you know this. Myself included.

[Monoclinic 39]

Ouch Terminator! That's a lot of bites, mine fade into a paultry existence compared to that!

 

I think I'd better start on the G & T straightaway just to make sure, you never know, France might be on the brink of a malaria epidemic and it would be foolish not to take the protection that is readily available. It'll be a difficult task to undertake, how many G&Ts do you think would give adequate cover? I am pretty sure one is not enough. I realise you have to drink with moderation but I still can't find him so I'll have to make a start without him.

[Anubis the Jackal 77]

From what I recall, the histamine content in wine and beer exacerbates the effects of mosquito bites, so it's probably a good idea to stick to the G & T's.

 

Oh, and Mono, if you need to drink with moderation, there's plenty of moderators on here who will do their upmost to assist.

[Windsor 2,233]

I can't describe how furious I am right now!

 

I'm house sitting for my sister this week, and as I was walking to her house last night I noticed that the neighbours had their waste bins out. So I thought to myself, 'I had better put her bin out'. Given that she got married last week, the bin was fairly full. Not least because the bins now only get emptied once a fortnight. I wheeled the bin from the back round to the front of the house where you are supposed to leave it. I then made sure to leave it facing the correct way for their crushing machine. So that was that.

 

This morning I was awoken by the bin men outside. I looked out the window and they were doing next doors bins. I thought, that's good. I then went back to bed. Later on, as I got up, I opened the curtains. Our bin is still standing there full to the top!

 

F**king dickheads! They have left no explaination as to why the bin has not been emptied. I daresay that it's because the lid was slightly ajar! I'd love to know how their logic works. If the bin is full this week, how to they expect us to fit more rubbish in for the next collection in two weeks? I think I know why they have not empied it. They probably want us to buy another bin. Bunch of scummy c**ts! I can remember when binmen did their jobs! I can assure you that I will be writing a strongly worded letter to the Fraserburgh Herald!

 

As for the rubbish, give me one good reason why I shouldn't dump the rubbish where the bin stands! Leave it for the scaffi-man to clear up.