Room 101

[Dave to the Grave 11]

And staying on the topic of sh*t, why is it that dog owners are generally required to pick up their dog's crap, but horse owners aren't? I live on an estate where horses are regularly ridden on the roads and footpaths, and many is the time I have had to negotiate a huge pile of steaming crap on the path - why shouldn't the riders have to pick it up, the same as dog owners? GET OFF YOUR HORSEY ASSES AND PICK UP THE sh*t! It's just as horrid to step in horse sh*t as dog sh*t when you're wearing your best white trainers.

Having stepped in both, while neither is pleasant, I'd always go for the horse sh*t.

 

In a league of sh*t, top being the most unpleasant, horse would probably come in the relegation zone, just above rabbit. Cow would probably qualify for the UEFA cup, just beating off goat. Dog, cat and seagull would battle it out for champion league places, but the winner, champion of them all would have to be human. A fantasy sh*t league, there's a thing.

 

(The seagull sh*t is more of a hair problem than a shoe one, so should perhaps be in a league of it's own, but very unpleasant all the same).

[Tuber Mirum 125]

I reckon horse owners tend to assume that a grateful rose gardener will come along shortly bearing a sturdy shovel and will cart the stuff off for their own special purposes.

 

People should train their dogs to sh*t in the woods and in places where it won't bother anyone. It is possible, assuming such places exist in your neck of the woods. I daresay some fascists people would disagree.

[Windsor 2,233]

There is a stables at Philorth which is basically at the other side of the beach from Fraserburgh. When I take the dog over the beach, I also have to contend with horse sh*t. It is alright when they sh*t on the beach, but horseriders also take their horses over the dunes using the narrow walk ways. When the horse sh*ts there, you have no option but to try and leap over it. Either that, or struggle through the long grass.

Living in a seaside town, I'm also used to the seagull problem. They say that if a bird sh*ts on you it's goodluck. I say that's untrue because not one person in Fraserburgh has won the lottery yet.

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

There is a stables at Philorth which is basically at the other side of the beach from Fraserburgh. When I take the dog over the beach, I also have to contend with horse sh*t. It is alright when they sh*t on the beach, but horseriders also take their horses over the dunes using the narrow walk ways. When the horse sh*ts there, you have no option but to try and leap over it. Either that, or struggle through the long grass.

Living in a seaside town, I'm also used to the seagull problem. They say that if a bird sh*ts on you it's goodluck. I say that's untrue because not one person in Fraserburgh has won the lottery yet.

 

 

Fraserburgh has the unluckiest residents in the whole of the British Isles - they have my mum for a neighbour for a start.

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,218]

Dog sh*t is the worlds worst. ( lets say the Brazil of Turds DTTG )

On numerous occasions, while at work, I have stepped, without realising, into a nice steamer, then walked it up my ladder.

Naturally, because I was unaware, I have walked back down, hands on rungs and into it all.

It has certainly cured me of biting my fingernails.

I, personally, would hang Dog owners who allowed their mutts to shite all over the place.

[Dave to the Grave 11]

Dog sh*t is the worlds worst. ( lets say the Brazil of Turds DTTG )

I have to disagree LFN. Dog, is more like Germany. Always there, reliable, with the odd flash of brilliance, but if you have ever cracked the crust on a week old human deposit, then you have really experienced Brazil.

 

(I of course, take on board your fingernail comment, but that really is due to the situation, and not the actual performance of the sh*t. More of a cup upset, than pure quality.)

[Anubis the Jackal 77]

And, of course, often comes in white.

 

I have to disagree LFN. Dog, is more like Germany. Always there, reliable, with the odd flash of brilliance,

[One shot Paddy 1,205]

Dog sh*t is the worlds worst. ( lets say the Brazil of Turds DTTG )

On numerous occasions, while at work, I have stepped, without realising, into a nice steamer, then walked it up my ladder.

Naturally, because I was unaware, I have walked back down, hands on rungs and into it all.

It has certainly cured me of biting my fingernails.

I, personally, would hang Dog owners who allowed their mutts to shite all over the place.

 

I would say Fox is much worse than dog.

[Madame Defarge 21]

If there were muskrats in the U.K., you would know that texture-wise their sh*t is the worst by a country mile. It's a bit like stepping into a well-lubricated souffle.

 

Do our antipodean members care to share any relevant information about kangaroos, wombats, or dingos and the like?

[Pretty In Pink 1]

And staying on the topic of sh*t, why is it that dog owners are generally required to pick up their dog's crap, but horse owners aren't? I live on an estate where horses are regularly ridden on the roads and footpaths, and many is the time I have had to negotiate a huge pile of steaming crap on the path - why shouldn't the riders have to pick it up, the same as dog owners? GET OFF YOUR HORSEY ASSES AND PICK UP THE sh*t! It's just as horrid to step in horse sh*t as dog sh*t when you're wearing your best white trainers.

Having stepped in both, while neither is pleasant, I'd always go for the horse sh*t.

 

In a league of sh*t, top being the most unpleasant, horse would probably come in the relegation zone, just above rabbit. Cow would probably qualify for the UEFA cup, just beating off goat. Dog, cat and seagull would battle it out for champion league places, but the winner, champion of them all would have to be human. A fantasy sh*t league, there's a thing.

 

(The seagull sh*t is more of a hair problem than a shoe one, so should perhaps be in a league of it's own, but very unpleasant all the same).

 

On the subject of seagull sh*t, I would say the degree of unpleasantness depends on your location. On the Lincs coast near me seagulls are average sized birds whereas whilst visiting Plymouth, I saw what were almost dog sized gulls which I imagine must produce dog sh*t size droppings! Better to be sh*t on in Lincolnshire than Devon I'd say.

[Windsor 2,233]

This was on BBC Scotland last night.

 

I saw it and thought of this thread. It caters to my immature brand of humour...

[Lady Grendel 139]

This was on BBC Scotland last night.

 

I saw it and thought of this thread. It caters to my immature brand of humour...

 

Thanks for that Windsor, caters to my immature brand of humour too, what a shame though that 'Still Game' gets mentioned in the Room 101 thread, should be in Room Lovely .

 

P.S. Which one are you, Jack or Victor? (although I think you probably are more like Winston ).

[Windsor 2,233]

I'm probably most like Tam.

[Lady Grendel 139]

Electricity or more precisely the effect I seem to have on it, I seem to be susceptible to static electricity, it follows me around, I've got used to it over the years, working in offices I learned never to touch metal filing cabinets or safes with my hands as that caused a nasty jolt, always placing my arm against them first to take the shock. In recent years the house I lived in constantly blew out bulbs or the whole electricity supply when I touched plugs or switches, in the case of the electricity supply it simply meant turning back on the main fuse, I put it down to the wiring in the house, but it seems it's followed me. I moved houses a couple of months ago and I turned on a light in the bathroom 5 minutes ago and it blew with a nasty metallic explosion now all the lights in the house are off, although the plugs are working, I don't know where the main fuse box is to turn the lights back on. I wonder if anyone knows what causes this? Before you say 'old wiring', the house I'm in was completely gutted and rewired 6 years ago and nothing like this happened until I moved in and it only happens when I'm around . (Couldn't think where else to post this, but as it's been the bain of my life for a number of years, I put it here).

[deadsox 894]

And staying on the topic of sh*t, why is it that dog owners are generally required to pick up their dog's crap, but horse owners aren't? I live on an estate where horses are regularly ridden on the roads and footpaths, and many is the time I have had to negotiate a huge pile of steaming crap on the path - why shouldn't the riders have to pick it up, the same as dog owners? GET OFF YOUR HORSEY ASSES AND PICK UP THE sh*t! It's just as horrid to step in horse sh*t as dog sh*t when you're wearing your best white trainers.

 

That would be a really funny scene, a rider stopping to shovel a load of horse sh*t into, what? A backpack? In my experience, most dog owners only pick up the dog sh*t when someone's looking, and even then they don't bring it home, they just fling the bag into the nearest body of water when no one's looking again. Actually, the real reason that horse owners don't have to pick up horse sh*t is because it's so popular. Just look at how much we've got on this forum.

[Terminator 13]

And staying on the topic of sh*t, why is it that dog owners are generally required to pick up their dog's crap, but horse owners aren't? I live on an estate where horses are regularly ridden on the roads and footpaths, and many is the time I have had to negotiate a huge pile of steaming crap on the path - why shouldn't the riders have to pick it up, the same as dog owners? GET OFF YOUR HORSEY ASSES AND PICK UP THE sh*t! It's just as horrid to step in horse sh*t as dog sh*t when you're wearing your best white trainers.

 

You could always move away from it all...........into the 20th/21st century?

[honez 79]

I don't know where the main fuse box is to turn the lights back on. I wonder if anyone knows what causes this?

It's probably because it's dark. It might be best if you use a torch to find it. Let me know if that helps.

 

To stop future torch-reliance, you might like to consider the composition of your clothing; friction from man-made fibres, tights, what the soles of your shoes are made of, whether the floor is carpeted (especially man-made fibres again) and (not that I'm suggesting this is the case here, LG,) thigh-rubbing and foot-shuffling when walking have a huge potential for static electricity build up and subsequent discharge. You may wish to test this out experimentally by spending a day at home naked, walking around on tip-toes with your legs wide apart. Be sure to let us know how you go.

[Anubis the Jackal 77]

You may wish to test this out experimentally by spending a day at home naked, walking around on tip-toes with your legs wide apart. Be sure to let us know how you go.

 

 

And show us the photographs.

[Dave to the Grave 11]

I remember some discussion about names in Room 101, and I was tempted to put this in Room Lovely, but calling a child Violence is not right. Perhaps our member from New Zealand has joined in this craze? We have recently had some fantastic guests (in the stumbling around together at wine tastings sense of the word) from New Zealand, who dispite tracing their ancestry to England had chosen to call their sons by, in their words, 'ancient Scottish names'. A part of me still thinks, why not?

 

Fish and Chips , I wonder what they call their goldfish?

[Paul Bearer 6,100]

I wonder what they call their goldfish?

 

BOB ?

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

And staying on the topic of sh*t, why is it that dog owners are generally required to pick up their dog's crap, but horse owners aren't? I live on an estate where horses are regularly ridden on the roads and footpaths, and many is the time I have had to negotiate a huge pile of steaming crap on the path - why shouldn't the riders have to pick it up, the same as dog owners? GET OFF YOUR HORSEY ASSES AND PICK UP THE sh*t! It's just as horrid to step in horse sh*t as dog sh*t when you're wearing your best white trainers.

 

You could always move away from it all...........into the 20th/21st century?

 

 

I don't get it - you're implying that I'm living in the 19th century, why? Because I don't like stepping in sh*t? I'm obviously missing the point somewhere.

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,218]

I don't know where the main fuse box is to turn the lights back on. I wonder if anyone knows what causes this?

It's probably because it's dark. It might be best if you use a torch to find it. Let me know if that helps.

 

To stop future torch-reliance, you might like to consider the composition of your clothing; friction from man-made fibres, tights, what the soles of your shoes are made of, whether the floor is carpeted (especially man-made fibres again) and (not that I'm suggesting this is the case here, LG,) thigh-rubbing and foot-shuffling when walking have a huge potential for static electricity build up and subsequent discharge. You may wish to test this out experimentally by spending a day at home naked, walking around on tip-toes with your legs wide apart. Be sure to let us know how you go.

LG, should you wish to take up the sound advice of Honez, be sure to let me know, I shall be up to you as fast as a shithouse Rat to record the proceedings.......all for research of course

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,218]

Ants.

[Monoclinic 39]

And staying on the topic of sh*t, why is it that dog owners are generally required to pick up their dog's crap, but horse owners aren't? I live on an estate where horses are regularly ridden on the roads and footpaths, and many is the time I have had to negotiate a huge pile of steaming crap on the path - why shouldn't the riders have to pick it up, the same as dog owners? GET OFF YOUR HORSEY ASSES AND PICK UP THE sh*t! It's just as horrid to step in horse sh*t as dog sh*t when you're wearing your best white trainers.

 

You could always move away from it all...........into the 20th/21st century?

 

 

I don't get it - you're implying that I'm living in the 19th century, why? Because I don't like stepping in sh*t? I'm obviously missing the point somewhere.

 

I think (s)he is implying that you move away from the tranquil, beautiful, idyllic countryside of Wiltshire and move to a crowded, polluted sewer that calls itself a city where the odds of dying from a chav inflicted stab wound are vastly increased. (Portsmouth is not too far away, should you decide to heed this advice. I doubt they'd even be able to identify a horse at 20 paces let alone spell it)

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

And staying on the topic of sh*t, why is it that dog owners are generally required to pick up their dog's crap, but horse owners aren't? I live on an estate where horses are regularly ridden on the roads and footpaths, and many is the time I have had to negotiate a huge pile of steaming crap on the path - why shouldn't the riders have to pick it up, the same as dog owners? GET OFF YOUR HORSEY ASSES AND PICK UP THE sh*t! It's just as horrid to step in horse sh*t as dog sh*t when you're wearing your best white trainers.

 

You could always move away from it all...........into the 20th/21st century?

 

 

I don't get it - you're implying that I'm living in the 19th century, why? Because I don't like stepping in sh*t? I'm obviously missing the point somewhere.

 

I think (s)he is implying that you move away from the tranquil, beautiful, idyllic countryside of Wiltshire and move to a crowded, polluted sewer that calls itself a city where the odds of dying from a chav inflicted stab wound are vastly increased. (Portsmouth is not too far away, should you decide to heed this advice. I doubt they'd even be able to identify a horse at 20 paces let alone spell it)

 

Believe me, the Wiltshire town I live in is Chavsville - but not as chavvy as a town about 9 miles away, where quite recently a boy was admitted to hospital with head injuries following tripping over his own buttock-skimming trousers. I laughed like a drain. I wish I could find the link to the story, it was in the Wiltshire Times but I just can't find it.

 

Here is is! Stupid chavvy twat