Room 101

[Deathray 2,940]

 

 

With regards Facebook: I generally use mine as alternative Room 101 thread....

 

Ooh, you're one of those people... that isn't the point of facebook. Do us all a favour.

 

Mine, the chat room on here - why does it only ever get used on New Years Eve?

 

Erm, actually me and Cat O'Falk were on it last night. Dummy

Along with a couple of others who showed up briefly

 

Although this time it was his turn to be stupendously drunk (not that I was last time, just throwing a little false "compromise" there or whatever to my critics innit). No seriously I couldn't understand a word he was typing.

 

Oh fair enough, it must just be when I'm online it's empty. I can never understand a word he's typing anyway or you for that matter..

[Cat O'Falk 3,290]

All because I said Eric Clapton is narcoleptic. Gonna post that in the anagram thread now.

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

Local authority planning departments. They can all kiss my fat ass.

[Magere Hein 1,400]

Local authority planning departments. They can all kiss my fat ass.

If you pay enough they will.

 

regards,

Hein

[charon 4,943]

Resignation . Especially from a job you don't mind, quite like even.

 

And when no firm job to go to.

 

But it is Springlike

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

Resignation . Especially from a job you don't mind, quite like even.

 

And when no firm job to go to.

 

But it is Springlike

Why did you resign?

[Deathray 2,940]

Intense Procrastination and borderline obsessive snooker watching habits combined with stuff that actually needs fucking doing.

[Dr. Zorders 1,271]

Intense Procrastination and borderline obsessive snooker watching habits combined with stuff that actually needs fucking doing.

It's only snooker. And it's probably only like the Rome Open or some other bollocks like that right now isnt it? If they would only get rid of some of these utterly meaningless tournaments, it would serve two purposes: Stop the players from being knackered-beyond-all-fuck by the time they show up in Sheffield for the longest tournament of the season (so that we might have a World Championship worth watching for the first time since 20-cunting-11) - and let you get on with your homework. So why don't you write a letter to that thick berk Hearn to that effect. If he can actually read that is.

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

Being a woman.

 

Fucked pelvic floor muscles combined with coughing up sections of lung every few minutes means that this week I have been mostly doing impressions of that old lady in Little Britain that gushes piss everywhere.

 

This led to me and my work buddy moaning about the fact that the only thing boys/men have to put up with throughout their lives is wet dreams, morning hard ons and their voices going a bit funny when they're 15. Us birds on the other hand have to put up with 50 years of bleeding like a stuck pig and having sore tits for one week out of every four, getting our gussets RUINED by childbirth, not being able to run, jump, laugh, cough or sneeze without pissing our pants, and when the bleeding stops, having five years worth of hot flushes, hormonal madness and vaginal dryness.

[Youwanticewiththat 611]

On the bright side pissy pants always gets you a seat to your self on public transport

[Deathray 2,940]

 

 

Intense Procrastination and borderline obsessive snooker watching habits combined with stuff that actually needs fucking doing.

It's only snooker. And it's probably only like the Rome Open or some other bollocks like that right now isnt it? If they would only get rid of some of these utterly meaningless tournaments, it would serve two purposes: Stop the players from being knackered-beyond-all-fuck by the time they show up in Sheffield for the longest tournament of the season (so that we might have a World Championship worth watching for the first time since 20-cunting-11) - and let you get on with your homework. So why don't you write a letter to that thick berk Hearn to that effect. If he can actually read that is.

It was the final group of the CL a tournament which frankly shouldn't exist in the first place. Although don't agree with you on that last bit, the standard has gone up thanks to more tournaments and it's helping elevate the sport to a new level. The old six tourneys a year days are not something we should retrospectively glorify for the sake of making cheap jibes at ole mucker hearn - although saturation point will probably be reached in the next decade or two. Currently in the midst of 20 days of consecutive snooker - longer than the worlds.

 

Anyway the players being shit at the worlds probably has more to with the fact two session matches are nye on exclusively reserved for it and tournament finals these days. Also calling the PTCs the bollockstan open doesn't make them actual tournaments although niw there using best if 7s in actual fucking rankers (the welsh next bloody week) i nay have to reconsider that opinion too

 

Anyway that concludes my sort of Room 101ish post. Separate topic for snooker discussion anyone?

[Dr. Zorders 1,271]

 

 

Intense Procrastination and borderline obsessive snooker watching habits combined with stuff that actually needs fucking doing.

It's only snooker. And it's probably only like the Rome Open or some other bollocks like that right now isnt it? If they would only get rid of some of these utterly meaningless tournaments, it would serve two purposes: Stop the players from being knackered-beyond-all-fuck by the time they show up in Sheffield for the longest tournament of the season (so that we might have a World Championship worth watching for the first time since 20-cunting-11) - and let you get on with your homework. So why don't you write a letter to that thick berk Hearn to that effect. If he can actually read that is.

It was the final group of the CL a tournament which frankly shouldn't exist in the first place. Although don't agree with you on that last bit, the standard has gone up thanks to more tournaments and it's helping elevate the sport to a new level. The old six tourneys a year days are not something we should retrospectively glorify for the sake of making cheap jibes at ole mucker hearn - although saturation point will probably be reached in the next decade or two. Currently in the midst of 20 days of consecutive snooker - longer than the worlds.

 

Anyway the players being shit at the worlds probably has more to with the fact two session matches are nye on exclusively reserved for it and tournament finals these days. Also calling the PTCs the bollockstan open doesn't make them actual tournaments although niw there using best if 7s in actual fucking rankers (the welsh next bloody week) i nay have to reconsider that opinion too

 

Anyway that concludes my sort of Room 101ish post. Separate topic for snooker discussion anyone?

 

No. It's because they're fucking knackered and if that crusty old cunt had any sense he'd listen to the players who have been trying to tell him that. If it wasn't for player burnout I'm sure Mark Selby would have properly won at least 1 World Championship by now (instead of inheriting one from Ronnie cos he decided he'd spend day 2 daydreaming about him and Damien Hirst tandem-biking through the Cotswolds on meth instead of trying)

 

Hearn always talks about the Worlds being the "shop window" of the sport, so you'd think he'd.. y'know, realise this problem and do something about it. He's up there with Bernie Ecclescunt in the "Crusty White-Haired-Old Heart Patients Who Think They've Got Everything Running Perfectly and Like to Strut Around Pretending They're Geniuses When They're In Fact Annoying, Entertainment-Killing Old Cunts Who Wouldn't Even Fucking Wake Up If Someone Sprayed a Super-Soaker Full of Ice-Cold Antarctic Springwater On Their Balls" stakes

 

Also yeah PTCs have probably helped but maybe when they have some sponsors other than fucking betting companies you can talk about the sport being "raised to a new level"... rite?

 

2008,2009,2010 and 2011 WCs were all great, the last 3 have been mostly shit thanks to player fatigue. (If it wasn't for that wacky Thai guy in 2013 and a few other highlights I definitely would have quit watching by now and I may well skip the 2015 Worlds....)

[Deathray 2,940]

 

 

 

 

Intense Procrastination and borderline obsessive snooker watching habits combined with stuff that actually needs fucking doing.

It's only snooker. And it's probably only like the Rome Open or some other bollocks like that right now isnt it? If they would only get rid of some of these utterly meaningless tournaments, it would serve two purposes: Stop the players from being knackered-beyond-all-fuck by the time they show up in Sheffield for the longest tournament of the season (so that we might have a World Championship worth watching for the first time since 20-cunting-11) - and let you get on with your homework. So why don't you write a letter to that thick berk Hearn to that effect. If he can actually read that is.

It was the final group of the CL a tournament which frankly shouldn't exist in the first place. Although don't agree with you on that last bit, the standard has gone up thanks to more tournaments and it's helping elevate the sport to a new level. The old six tourneys a year days are not something we should retrospectively glorify for the sake of making cheap jibes at ole mucker hearn - although saturation point will probably be reached in the next decade or two. Currently in the midst of 20 days of consecutive snooker - longer than the worlds.

 

Anyway the players being shit at the worlds probably has more to with the fact two session matches are nye on exclusively reserved for it and tournament finals these days. Also calling the PTCs the bollockstan open doesn't make them actual tournaments although niw there using best if 7s in actual fucking rankers (the welsh next bloody week) i nay have to reconsider that opinion too

 

Anyway that concludes my sort of Room 101ish post. Separate topic for snooker discussion anyone?

No. It's because they're fucking knackered and if that crusty old cunt had any sense he'd listen to the players who have been trying to tell him that. If it wasn't for player burnout I'm sure Mark Selby would have properly won at least 1 World Championship by now (instead of inheriting one from Ronnie cos he decided he'd spend day 2 daydreaming about him and Damien Hirst tandem-biking through the Cotswolds on meth instead of trying)

 

Hearn always talks about the Worlds being the "shop window" of the sport, so you'd think he'd.. y'know, realise this problem and do something about it. He's up there with Bernie Ecclescunt in the "Crusty White-Haired-Old Heart Patients Who Think They've Got Everything Running Perfectly and Like to Strut Around Pretending They're Geniuses When They're In Fact Annoying, Entertainment-Killing Old Cunts Who Wouldn't Even Fucking Wake Up If Someone Sprayed a Super-Soaker Full of Ice-Cold Antarctic Springwater On Their Balls" stakes

 

Also yeah PTCs have probably helped but maybe when they have some sponsors other than fucking betting companies you can talk about the sport being "raised to a new level"... rite?

 

2008,2009,2010 and 2011 WCs were all great, the last 3 have been mostly shit thanks to player fatigue. (If it wasn't for that wacky Thai guy in 2013 and a few other highlights I definitely would have quit watching by now and I may well skip the 2015 Worlds....)

Seen as I'm up at this chose your own diety that you don't find offensive in this context foresaken time of the night. I'll waste a little time feeding the hand that reaches for the grenade launcher at the first sign of a stick being waved..

 

Burnout is just an excuse for being a lazy fucker - this applies to absulotely any sport in which you can earn thousands and thousands of pound a match for doing something you enjoyed enough to spurn a conventional career to pursue. Burnout may have been a slight argument during the transition but now we've reached the point where the players should have adjusted to the new regime. One of the advantages from a players point if view of this is they can afford to skip tournaments here and there when they don't suit them - look at the Indian Open draw to confirm that - which would have been a virtual impossibility for all but a few players in the circa 2008 times.

 

With regards to your frankly absurd claim Selby didn't win that final on merit well - for the want of a nicer way of saying this - what a pile of steaming fucking horseshit. Selby won that title with some dogged and determined safety play - one of the key skills a snooker player needs is the ability to prevent an opponent from running out full steam when you yourself aren't. That is what snooker is, any true snooker fan would appreciate that victory for what it was rather than attempt to degrade Selby's achievement.

 

Yeah Hearns a knob in many regards and a borderline megolamaniac at that. Yes some of the things he's done are infuriating; for example downgrading the UK Champs to best of 11 from Best of 17 leaving us with only one long match tournament. But all in all increasing the amount of tournaments was right, it provides snooker players with more opportunities to earn money which keeps them playing and it provides snooker fans with more opportunities to see their players and in the case of much of europe and a fair whack of the far east the ability to do this without needing a passport for the first time in decades.

 

Unfortunately were still in an economic downturn so the companies that do best of out if it are most likely to part with their cash. As evudenced by Germany where they aren't and Kreativ Dental sponsored the event. However given snooker was sponsored almost exclusively by cancer stick floggers for most of it's heyday the class of sponsor has very little to do with the class on the baize.

 

That wacky Thai guy is called Dechawat Poomjaeng (although he prefers Jack). The fact you don't know his name and that you seem to be referencing the WC as if it's the only tournament that means anything suggests to me our level of interest in the sport have a significant gap which may explain the gulf between our outlooks. There is more to offer than the bbc events some of it truly excellent (German Masters last week, the Champion of Champions back in November). I suggest you try and catch some of these events more often, the China Open specifically is two weeks before the worlds so should be good proving ground for whether this burnout stuff holds any weight.

 

It's funny really that sport both brings people together in a shared passion and interest and makes them completely and utterly disagree with eachother regarding teams/players/firmats/prestige and virtually any other factor. Strange indeed.

[Dr. Zorders 1,271]

Seen as I'm up at this chose your own diety that you don't find offensive in this context foresaken time of the night. I'll waste a little time feeding the hand that reaches for the grenade launcher at the first sign of a stick being waved..

Burnout is just an excuse for being a lazy fucker - this applies to absulotely any sport in which you can earn thousands and thousands of pound a match for doing something you enjoyed enough to spurn a conventional career to pursue. Burnout may have been a slight argument during the transition but now we've reached the point where the players should have adjusted to the new regime. One of the advantages from a players point if view of this is they can afford to skip tournaments here and there when they don't suit them - look at the Indian Open draw to confirm that - which would have been a virtual impossibility for all but a few players in the circa 2008 times.

 

With regards to your frankly absurd claim Selby didn't win that final on merit well - for the want of a nicer way of saying this - what a pile of steaming fucking horseshit. Selby won that title with some dogged and determined safety play - one of the key skills a snooker player needs is the ability to prevent an opponent from running out full steam when you yourself aren't. That is what snooker is, any true snooker fan would appreciate that victory for what it was rather than attempt to degrade Selby's achievement.

 

Yeah Hearns a knob in many regards and a borderline megolamaniac at that. Yes some of the things he's done are infuriating; for example downgrading the UK Champs to best of 11 from Best of 17 leaving us with only one long match tournament. But all in all increasing the amount of tournaments was right, it provides snooker players with more opportunities to earn money which keeps them playing and it provides snooker fans with more opportunities to see their players and in the case of much of europe and a fair whack of the far east the ability to do this without needing a passport for the first time in decades.

 

Unfortunately were still in an economic downturn so the companies that do best of out if it are most likely to part with their cash. As evudenced by Germany where they aren't and Kreativ Dental sponsored the event. However given snooker was sponsored almost exclusively by cancer stick floggers for most of it's heyday the class of sponsor has very little to do with the class on the baize.

 

That wacky Thai guy is called Dechawat Poomjaeng (although he prefers Jack). The fact you don't know his name and that you seem to be referencing the WC as if it's the only tournament that means anything suggests to me our level of interest in the sport have a significant gap which may explain the gulf between our outlooks. There is more to offer than the bbc events some of it truly excellent (German Masters last week, the Champion of Champions back in November). I suggest you try and catch some of these events more often, the China Open specifically is two weeks before the worlds so should be good proving ground for whether this burnout stuff holds any weight.

 

It's funny really that sport both brings people together in a shared passion and interest and makes them completely and utterly disagree with eachother regarding teams/players/firmats/prestige and virtually any other factor. Strange indeed.

 

Fuck.... that was a funny description. Thanks. Wasn't really looking for a fight. And clearly, you need to realise my anger there is aimed at the likes of Ecclestone and Hearn not you....

 

Also, I wasn't dissing Selby at all - I implied he would have won more than one World title by now if the schedule was less hectic. I knew it was Poomjaeng I wasn't trying to put him down either. It's just he hasn't done anything since then so I couldn't recall his name instantly and couldnt be bothered to google it at this time of the morning.

 

Also yes burnout does exist. Snooker is an extremely demanding sport nowadays. Maybe you've never played it or don't understand how the modern game does a pro's head in. I know Hearn obviously doesn't. Are you telling me an easy game would drive Ronnie O'Sullivan into fits of insanity during various matches over the 2000s? Like... digging his fingernails into his forehead until it bleeds, and then flinging a towel over it? Or walking out of a match with a fading Stephen Hendry? And the field of good players has obviously expanded since then making it even more stressful.

 

Anyway....... can't be bothered to argue any more just wanted to clarify and stress again burnout is real... and denying the problem has cost the sport 3 and probably more decent world championships, and Hearn is a gormless cunt for not realising it.

[Deathray 2,940]

 

 

Seen as I'm up at this chose your own diety that you don't find offensive in this context foresaken time of the night. I'll waste a little time feeding the hand that reaches for the grenade launcher at the first sign of a stick being waved..

Burnout is just an excuse for being a lazy fucker - this applies to absulotely any sport in which you can earn thousands and thousands of pound a match for doing something you enjoyed enough to spurn a conventional career to pursue. Burnout may have been a slight argument during the transition but now we've reached the point where the players should have adjusted to the new regime. One of the advantages from a players point if view of this is they can afford to skip tournaments here and there when they don't suit them - look at the Indian Open draw to confirm that - which would have been a virtual impossibility for all but a few players in the circa 2008 times.

 

With regards to your frankly absurd claim Selby didn't win that final on merit well - for the want of a nicer way of saying this - what a pile of steaming fucking horseshit. Selby won that title with some dogged and determined safety play - one of the key skills a snooker player needs is the ability to prevent an opponent from running out full steam when you yourself aren't. That is what snooker is, any true snooker fan would appreciate that victory for what it was rather than attempt to degrade Selby's achievement.

 

Yeah Hearns a knob in many regards and a borderline megolamaniac at that. Yes some of the things he's done are infuriating; for example downgrading the UK Champs to best of 11 from Best of 17 leaving us with only one long match tournament. But all in all increasing the amount of tournaments was right, it provides snooker players with more opportunities to earn money which keeps them playing and it provides snooker fans with more opportunities to see their players and in the case of much of europe and a fair whack of the far east the ability to do this without needing a passport for the first time in decades.

 

Unfortunately were still in an economic downturn so the companies that do best of out if it are most likely to part with their cash. As evudenced by Germany where they aren't and Kreativ Dental sponsored the event. However given snooker was sponsored almost exclusively by cancer stick floggers for most of it's heyday the class of sponsor has very little to do with the class on the baize.

 

That wacky Thai guy is called Dechawat Poomjaeng (although he prefers Jack). The fact you don't know his name and that you seem to be referencing the WC as if it's the only tournament that means anything suggests to me our level of interest in the sport have a significant gap which may explain the gulf between our outlooks. There is more to offer than the bbc events some of it truly excellent (German Masters last week, the Champion of Champions back in November). I suggest you try and catch some of these events more often, the China Open specifically is two weeks before the worlds so should be good proving ground for whether this burnout stuff holds any weight.

 

It's funny really that sport both brings people together in a shared passion and interest and makes them completely and utterly disagree with eachother regarding teams/players/firmats/prestige and virtually any other factor. Strange indeed.

 

Fuck.... that was a funny description. Thanks. Wasn't really looking for a fight. And clearly, you need to realise my anger there is aimed at the likes of Ecclestone and Hearn not you....

 

Also, I wasn't dissing Selby at all - I implied he would have won more than one World title by now if the schedule was less hectic. I knew it was Poomjaeng I wasn't trying to put him down either. It's just he hasn't done anything since then so I couldn't recall his name instantly and couldnt be bothered to google it at this time of the morning.

 

Also yes burnout does exist. Snooker is an extremely demanding sport nowadays. Maybe you've never played it or don't understand how the modern game does a pro's head in. I know Hearn obviously doesn't. Are you telling me an easy game would drive Ronnie O'Sullivan into fits of insanity during various matches over the 2000s? Like... digging his fingernails into his forehead until it bleeds, and then flinging a towel over it? Or walking out of a match with a fading Stephen Hendry? And the field of good players has obviously expanded since then making it even more stressful.

 

Anyway....... can't be bothered to argue any more just wanted to clarify and stress again burnout is real... and denying the problem has cost the sport 3 and probably more decent world championships, and Hearn is a gormless cunt for not realising it.

Having played snooker to a not very good standard I'm well aware of hiw fucking difficult it is. If it was easy I'd be taken full advantage of that.

 

Also Ronnie was sufferring from depression at the time that probably had more to do with both his parents being in the wacky wasters warehouse than the game itself.

 

I don't buy the argument burnout exists let alone it's cost us three wcs. I do by the argument that ranking tournaments with best of 7 last 16s aren't really ideal preparation for a tournament designed in memory of week long matches...

[charon 4,943]

Being a woman.

 

having five years worth of hot flushes, hormonal madness and vaginal dryness.

Am I a bad person for finding this post amusing?

 

Solely because it was liked by "youwanticewiththat?"

[charon 4,943]

 

Resignation . Especially from a job you don't mind, quite like even.

And when no firm job to go to.

But it is Springlike

 

Why did you resign?

Not really sure, first sign of Spring and after seven years it is like a wee switch clicked to the "change now" position.

 

Got a week to find something else otherwise gonna be a long time skinto

[Youwanticewiththat 611]

 

Being a woman.

 

having five years worth of hot flushes, hormonal madness and vaginal dryness.

Am I a bad person for finding this post amusing?

 

Solely because it was liked by "youwanticewiththat?"

 

Please tell me you haven't just come out of the cinema after watching 'Fifty Shades of Grey' (or John Major's swatch book as it's known round here).

[charon 4,943]

Lol, I can assure you I will never watch the film or read the book

[Deathray 2,940]

 

 

Resignation . Especially from a job you don't mind, quite like even.

And when no firm job to go to.

But it is Springlike

 

Why did you resign?

Not really sure, first sign of Spring and after seven years it is like a wee switch clicked to the "change now" position.

 

Got a week to find something else otherwise gonna be a long time skinto

Isn't that what yer holiday allowance is for? You know trying to getting a new job and then resigning if you do?

[Bibliogryphon 9,579]

Being a woman.

 

Fucked pelvic floor muscles combined with coughing up sections of lung every few minutes means that this week I have been mostly doing impressions of that old lady in Little Britain that gushes piss everywhere.

 

This led to me and my work buddy moaning about the fact that the only thing boys/men have to put up with throughout their lives is wet dreams, morning hard ons and their voices going a bit funny when they're 15. Us birds on the other hand have to put up with 50 years of bleeding like a stuck pig and having sore tits for one week out of every four, getting our gussets RUINED by childbirth, not being able to run, jump, laugh, cough or sneeze without pissing our pants, and when the bleeding stops, having five years worth of hot flushes, hormonal madness and vaginal dryness.

But you do get all the best jobs and better pay....

 

...oh wait.

[Phantom 2,533]

 

Being a woman.

 

Fucked pelvic floor muscles combined with coughing up sections of lung every few minutes means that this week I have been mostly doing impressions of that old lady in Little Britain that gushes piss everywhere.

 

This led to me and my work buddy moaning about the fact that the only thing boys/men have to put up with throughout their lives is wet dreams, morning hard ons and their voices going a bit funny when they're 15. Us birds on the other hand have to put up with 50 years of bleeding like a stuck pig and having sore tits for one week out of every four, getting our gussets RUINED by childbirth, not being able to run, jump, laugh, cough or sneeze without pissing our pants, and when the bleeding stops, having five years worth of hot flushes, hormonal madness and vaginal dryness.

But you do get all the best jobs and better pay....

 

...oh wait.

 

At least you get into clubs for free on a Friday night whereas us blokes have to pay.

[Magere Hein 1,400]

 

 

Being a woman.

But you do get all the best jobs and better pay....

 

...oh wait.

 

At least you get into clubs for free on a Friday night whereas us blokes have to pay.

 

On average women live a few years longer than geezers. I don't know how much fun those years are, living with faulty plumbing.

 

regards,

Hein

[Phantom 2,533]

Money raising programs for schools like the Campbell's Labels For Education program.

 

While I think it's great that companies are willing to donate money for local schools when you purchase products all you have to do is send in a portion of the label to earn points for your school which they can redeem for supplies. I was just browsing the website for this and looking at their catalogue. So for a mere 550 points, you can get a new football for the school. You usually get 1 point on the back of each tin of soup. So you'd have to consume 550 tins of soup to raise enough to get 1 football. So after spending approximately $500 on soup you'll have enough for the school to earn 1 football wihch costs $10. The schools could just easily say "hey kids, we need new footballs. Can you ask your parents to send in $1" If 500 parents were to do that, they could buy 50 footballs.

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

 

 

 

Being a woman.

But you do get all the best jobs and better pay....

 

...oh wait.

 

At least you get into clubs for free on a Friday night whereas us blokes have to pay.

 

On average women live a few years longer than geezers. I don't know how much fun those years are, living with faulty plumbing.

 

regards,

Hein

 

I can't remember the last time I went into a club - it was probably about 3 years ago. It was full of pissed-up, middle-aged, mutton-dressed-as-spam slags looking to get fingered in the park on the way home......oh wait.....