Room 101

[Canadian Paul 97]

people on crowded tube carriages who use the seat next to them for their bags, then act all surprised when someone who wants to sit down asks them to move them.

You bet CR, they ought to be vaporised. If there's a choice between a "bagged" seat and an empty one I always ask for the bags to be shifted. It's a kind of punishment.

 

Mind, I understand the mentality. You're kind of willing people to go past to the next space so you can selfishly occupy two seats all to yourself. But shoving your bag and coat there is f*****g rude but most people on trains these days are f*****g rude.

 

The worst ones are those who sit on the outside seat, leaving the inside one vacant with their bag and coat. Some timorous passengers will walk past them, even stand in the isle. I've seen it. The seat hoggers should be given asbos and forced by the guard to wear a card around their necks saying: "I am a selfish bastard".

 

I'm in total agreement here. Unless there obviously plenty of space, the bag goes on my lap when I ride ths bus.

 

Also in this category are people who sit in lecture halls and "save the seat" next to them without having anyone to sit in it. Of course I save seats for my friends, but if they don't make it to class within five minutes of it beginning, I free it up so that I don't look like a f*****g jackass (or at least, a little of one as I can ).

 

The worst offender was this one girl who asked me if anyone was sitting next to me, because I had my bag next to me. I figured that since class had started, I'd do her a favour and move the bag. So what does she do? She sits two seats away from me and puts HER bag on the seat that I had freed up. Not surprisingly, no friend of hers claimed the seat all class. Worst of all, my friend did end up coming 10 minutes late, and had to sit in the outer reaches of the lecture hall. f*****g rude indeed!

[Banshees Scream 110]

The worst offender was this one girl who asked me if anyone was sitting next to me, because I had my bag next to me. I figured that since class had started, I'd do her a favour and move the bag. So what does she do? She sits two seats away from me and puts HER bag on the seat that I had freed up. Not surprisingly, no friend of hers claimed the seat all class. Worst of all, my friend did end up coming 10 minutes late, and had to sit in the outer reaches of the lecture hall. f*****g rude indeed!

 

I guess you were her fool, but was she worth this?

[Godot 149]

The worst offender was this one girl who asked me if anyone was sitting next to me, because I had my bag next to me. I figured that since class had started, I'd do her a favour and move the bag. So what does she do? She sits two seats away from me and puts HER bag on the seat that I had freed up. Not surprisingly, no friend of hers claimed the seat all class. Worst of all, my friend did end up coming 10 minutes late, and had to sit in the outer reaches of the lecture hall. f*****g rude indeed!

 

Canadian Paul you should have said "Oy! Girl, take that bag off that seat." That's what you should have said.

 

Then again you say she sat two seats away from you. So there should still have been room for your mate. Did you mean that there was just the one seat between you? I guess you did.

[Canadian Paul 97]

Canadian Paul you should have said "Oy! Girl, take that bag off that seat." That's what you should have said.

 

Then again you say she sat two seats away from you. So there should still have been room for your mate. Did you mean that there was just the one seat between you? I guess you did.

 

Reading what you said, you're right. I meant to say that there was one seat between us and she was two seats to the left of my seat. Her bag was on the seat next to me.

[The Pooka 26]

Canadian Paul you should have said "Oy! Girl, take that bag off that seat." That's what you should have said.

 

Then again you say she sat two seats away from you. So there should still have been room for your mate. Did you mean that there was just the one seat between you? I guess you did.

 

Reading what you said, you're right. I meant to say that there was one seat between us and she was two seats to the left of my seat. Her bag was on the seat next to me.

This exchange could have been written by Becket himself.

[DevonDeathTrip 2,358]

Unnecessary mini roundabouts. I completely missed the one pictured below, near Sennen in Cornwall, the other week - it wasn't there three months ago and it shouldn't be there now. The local hospital has run out of money and staff are been laid off, yet the council is frittering it's budget painting white circles in the road. I despair.

 

[Real Madron 6]

Unnecessary mini roundabouts. I completely missed the one pictured below, near Sennen in Cornwall, the other week - it wasn't there three months ago and it shouldn't be there now. The local hospital has run out of money and staff are been laid off, yet the council is frittering it's budget painting white circles in the road. I despair.

 

when did they paint that? what a waste of time. surely thats just... a road.. with a juction... thats embarrassing. how often you in sennen DDT?

[Cowboy Ronnie 78]

Unnecessary mini roundabouts. I completely missed the one pictured below, near Sennen in Cornwall, the other week - it wasn't there three months ago and it shouldn't be there now. The local hospital has run out of money and staff are been laid off, yet the council is frittering it's budget painting white circles in the road. I despair.

 

 

The authorities should perhaps be a bit more concerned by what appears to be a large piece of fence sitting in the middle of the road going up the hill.

[Real Madron 6]

Unnecessary mini roundabouts. I completely missed the one pictured below, near Sennen in Cornwall, the other week - it wasn't there three months ago and it shouldn't be there now. The local hospital has run out of money and staff are been laid off, yet the council is frittering it's budget painting white circles in the road. I despair.

 

 

The authorities should perhaps be a bit more concerned by what appears to be a large piece of fence sitting in the middle of the road going up the hill.

Ronnie- I think the council would take offence after that comment!

[Windsor 2,233]

Annoying people on busses.

 

Some guy got on the bus today and I knew he was going to be an arsehole. First off he had girls hair, lots of ear piercings and a lip piercing. To finish this off he had a goatee like stubble with the 'artistic' vandalism on his backpack. Anyway, he sat down and turned on his personal cd player/ipod.

Well - first of all it was bloody blaring. It was bloody metalica and I could hear every last drum beat. To make it more annoying he starts slapping his legs to the drums and tapping his feet rather loudly to the beat.

 

I could have killed him. He got a dirty look as I left the bus, the bastard.

 

To top it off, he was a closet ginger. The stubble gave him away...

[Magere Hein 1,400]

Anyway, he sat down and turned on his personal cd player/ipod.

Well - first of all it was bloody blaring. It was bloody metalica and I could hear every last drum beat. To make it more annoying he starts slapping his legs to the drums and tapping his feet rather loudly to the beat.

 

I could have killed him. He got a dirty look as I left the bus, the bastard.

There's a much simpler solution to that: a pair of scissors applied to the headphone leads.

 

regards,

Hein

[Banshees Scream 110]

Some guy got on the bus today and I knew he was going to be an arsehole. First off he had girls hair, lots of ear piercings and a lip piercing. To finish this off he had a goatee like stubble with the 'artistic' vandalism on his backpack. Anyway, he sat down and turned on his personal cd player/ipod.

Well - first of all it was bloody blaring. It was bloody metalica and I could hear every last drum beat. To make it more annoying he starts slapping his legs to the drums and tapping his feet rather loudly to the beat.

I could have killed him. He got a dirty look as I left the bus, the bastard.

To top it off, he was a closet ginger. The stubble gave him away...

 

I know exactly what you are talking about. He has this modern emotional style with his appearence and everything, he blasts his music, and you call him a fag. But you can only hope that he lives in a very public area. I was reading yesterday that people with head phones or cell phones crossing streets are being hit by cars everyday. They say a law might be made where no electronic devices can be in use when crossing.

[Death in Vegas 3]

People who spend an absolute age at cash machines. All you want to do is quickly take out £20, and they're standing in front of you seemingly pressing every button going, trying about 3 different cards, forgetting their pin number for at least 2 of them before printing out a statement and walking away without withdrawing any money and with a vacant expression on their face.

[Windsor 2,233]

How about this one?

 

I was on my way to the bus stop (way home this time) and I decided I wanted some juice so I thought I'd quickly step in a corner shop and buy some. So I got my juice and went to pay for it.

 

Two fat bastards were blocking the aisle which allowed some other woman infront of me with a full basket of shopping. She was being served by one attendent and another was serving a man. So I'm standing next in line to pay for my things.

 

Then the man decides he has forgotten something and goes back into the shop to get it. All this time the second attendent is standing there looking gormless.

At the same time the fat bitch with about a weeks worth of shopping was being served by the other one. They obviously knew each other and were chatty. As you can imagine, being in a hurry, I was getting faitly pissed off.

Then in pops a couple pushing a pram - she starts speaking to the chatty bastards! I was absolutely furious!

I was stood there for a good 5 minute with one attendent standing doing nothing and the other standing speaking to her mates.

 

IF YOU AND YOUR MATE ARE BOTH FAT BASTARDS, DON'T BLOCK OTHER PEOPLE'S PATH.

YOU WILL NOT GO TO TO PAY FOR YOUR THINGS AND THEN DECIDE TO RUN BACK FOR SOMETHING ELSE!

YOU WILL NOT STAND THERE AND CHAT TO THE ATTENDENT WHILST THERE IS A LINE FORMING!

 

I did actually catch the bus, but that's not the point.

[Banshees Scream 110]

YOU WILL NOT GO TO TO PAY FOR YOUR THINGS AND THEN DECIDE TO RUN BACK FOR SOMETHING ELSE!

 

Absolutely not. Somebody cuts you on line you just take their place. If the heavy woman asks for her spot back, just point towards the end of the line.

[Godot 149]

Women, kids and dogs who stand around on sledge runs. Sledges can go pretty fast but some people stand around yacking or insist on walking back up the slope that you're heading down. I mean it's not as if you have much control on a sledge. And what are little kids doing there? They're asking to get hurt.

 

On the other hand I could imagine that those women standing around would stick the out of control mad bastard on his sledge in their room 101s. Well I got their first ladies. It's a sledge run not a meeting of the mothers' union.

[Anubis the Jackal 77]

Godawful and pointless advertisements, dressed as 'research,' dressed as news. For example,

 

"RHUBARB IS A WINNER WITH THE LADIES!

 

 

 

Research from the University of Framlingham released yesterday shows that eating at least 4 kilos of rhubarb a day makes you irresitably appealing to the opposite sex Using the equation r x IN % B x 0.255 = SE where r is the weight in kilos of rhubarb eaten, IN is the initial niceness of the eater, B is Finkelsteins Constant and SE is the resultant sex appeal of the eater. The study was commissioned by the Rhubarb Growers Association of Great Britain and was compiled by two jaded maths post-graduates who once dreamed of doing something useful with their dismal and tedious lives."

 

 

 

More so because I recently heard one of my old schoolmates on Radio 4 doing exactly this. At school he was obviously an incredibly gifted kid, straight A's at A-level, went to Cambridge and really should have gone on to find a cure for cancer, crack the secret of cold fusion or design the first UK rocket to Mars. But there he was, twatting away about how more people crash their car on a Wednesday afternoon in February, with the subtext that you should BUY A FORD!!!! or some such shite.

[Real Madron 6]

f*****g cash machine time wasters! im in the queue, some guy is checking his online balance, transfering a few quid around, trying a few different cards...

 

i feel like turning to the people behind me and saying, 'dont worry, i guarentee im going to be about 20 seconds on that thing - card in - pin - £20 - gone'

[Rebecca de Winter 8]

Tail-gaters, you know the ones who sit so close they're almost in your back seat?

I let them go for a few minutes and then step hard on the brakes and then take off fast while they jump on their brakes so hard they almost fly through the windscreen - nits.

[Captain Oates 21]

Stupidly dangerous drivers.

 

Especially those who assume that my brakes work!

[Madame Defarge 21]

MPA! Meteorological Panic Attacks. Do you realize there's almost a whole inch of snow in

NYC today? Not to mention dangerous slush and I just saw a branch move. The wind must be

gusting up to, I don't know, 1/2 mile an hour. We'll get through it somehow.

 

Nightshift manager just called to say the shift was cancelled due to inclement weather. I asked

her if we will get paid for today and she said probably not. I told her the buses were running

and the streets were clear but she said it's too slippery.

 

SO PUT ON A PAIR OF BOOTS!

 

America will save the world from terrorists, er, but not today, it's *whispers* slippery.

[Godot 149]

Tail-gaters, you know the ones who sit so close they're almost in your back seat?

I let them go for a few minutes and then step hard on the brakes and then take off fast while they jump on their brakes so hard they almost fly through the windscreen - nits.

To do this safely, keep your foot on the accelerator and break lightly with the other so that it doesn't actually slow your car down - helps avoid an arctic in your rear seat.

[Death in Vegas 3]

I debated whether or not to put this is in the football thread but given how irksome I find it I'm going to put it here, namely footballers over celebrating rubbish/deflected goals. The way they run away milking the applause as if they've just scored goal of the season when in reality their shot was heading for the corner flag until it ricocheted off several defenders, etc.

[Rebecca de Winter 8]

Tail-gaters, you know the ones who sit so close they're almost in your back seat?

I let them go for a few minutes and then step hard on the brakes and then take off fast while they jump on their brakes so hard they almost fly through the windscreen - nits.

To do this safely, keep your foot on the accelerator and break lightly with the other so that it doesn't actually slow your car down - helps avoid an arctic in your rear seat.

 

I've been doing it safely for many years, and I drive a manual car so it would not be a good idea to try your idea or I might cause an accident rather than prevent one.

[Rebecca de Winter 8]

Stupidly dangerous drivers.

 

Especially those who assume that my brakes work!

 

Not the smartest idea you ever had, outing yourself as a tail-gater, and also someone who possibly drives without working brakes - I'm real glad I won't ever meet you on the road.