Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,132 Posted January 12, 2017 Quality rants from lfn. Makes it all worthwhile... I really need to calm down. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toast 14,844 Posted January 12, 2017 The south media considering a sprinkling of snow the Armageddon reincarnated. Shovel it up and get on with your lives. FTFY. That's what the vast majority of people do. Even our bus company manages to get buses out these days. I managed to fight my way through the bitter blizzards to Oxford this evening, and back again. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,132 Posted January 13, 2017 The south media considering a sprinkling of snow the Armageddon reincarnated. Shovel it up and get on with your lives. FTFY. That's what the vast majority of people do. Even our bus company manages to get buses out these days. I managed to fight my way through the bitter blizzards to Oxford this evening, and back again. We did actually have a blizzard here this morning, just as I happened to be working outside in a box in the ground. I managed to survive. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,132 Posted January 13, 2017 Local news ITV Anglia are on Armageddon alert, currently broadcasting live from Norfolk, Suffolk and Essex costal areas where the reporters are 'live and getting sexually aroused' at the prospect of coastal flooding. Well it fills the news. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toast 14,844 Posted January 24, 2017 I promise I haven't made this up. Today I went to the tobacconist counter in Waitrose (yes, I like the occasional ciggy, don't shoot me) Toast: Do you have Windsor Superkings? Waitrose Assistant: I'm not allowed to tell you if we have them. Toast: What? WA: We're not allowed to tell you what we have. You have to ask for them. It's the law. 6 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Deathray 2,933 Posted January 24, 2017 It's the advertising rules on tobacco. The ideas to avoid youngster buying ones they've seen advertised/their parents use. Doesn't make it any less non-nonsensical. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,132 Posted January 24, 2017 I promise I haven't made this up. Today I went to the tobacconist counter in Waitrose (yes, I like the occasional ciggy, don't shoot me) Toast: Do you have Windsor Superkings? Waitrose Assistant: I'm not allowed to tell you if we have them. Toast: What? WA: We're not allowed to tell you what we have. You have to ask for them. It's the law. So................. You ask for Windsor Superkings, they don't have them. You ask for JPS, ditto, You ask for L&B, they have none, nuffink, zilch. You ask 'What do you actually have? They reply 'We cant tell you' You then fuck off without any ciggies. Yes, the anti smoking crusade could work!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toast 14,844 Posted January 24, 2017 It's the advertising rules on tobacco. The ideas to avoid youngster buying ones they've seen advertised/their parents use. Doesn't make it any less non-nonsensical. Well, duh, I know it's "the advertising rules on tobacco". But what FUCKING DIFFERENCE is there between me saying "Have you got" and "Can I have"? If they haven't got them I can't have them, can I ! BTW I gave up trying to work out your last sentence 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toast 14,844 Posted January 24, 2017 I promise I haven't made this up. Today I went to the tobacconist counter in Waitrose (yes, I like the occasional ciggy, don't shoot me) Toast: Do you have Windsor Superkings? Waitrose Assistant: I'm not allowed to tell you if we have them. Toast: What? WA: We're not allowed to tell you what we have. You have to ask for them. It's the law. So................. You ask for Windsor Superkings, they don't have them. You ask for JPS, ditto, You ask for L&B, they have none, nuffink, zilch. You ask 'What do you actually have? They reply 'We cant tell you' You then fuck off without any ciggies. Yes, the anti smoking crusade could work!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cWDdd5KKhts 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Deathray 2,933 Posted January 24, 2017 It's the advertising rules on tobacco. The ideas to avoid youngster buying ones they've seen advertised/their parents use. Doesn't make it any less non-nonsensical. Well, duh, I know it's "the advertising rules on tobacco". But what FUCKING DIFFERENCE is there between me saying "Have you got" and "Can I have"? If they haven't got them I can't have them, can I ! BTW I gave up trying to work out your last sentence The last sentence was meant to stay "it doesn't make it any less nonsensical". I agree with you it's daft. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toast 14,844 Posted January 24, 2017 For the first time ever ..... I've just had a customer survey email from Waitrose: Dear Toast, Nobody’s opinion matters more to us than yours. Because as a valued myWaitrose customer you’re perfectly placed to tell us how we’re doing. We wondered if you could spare 5 - 6 minutes to tell us about your recent shopping experience at Waitrose. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Deathray 2,933 Posted January 24, 2017 For the first time ever ..... I've just had a customer survey email from Waitrose: Dear Toast, Nobody’s opinion matters more to us than yours. Because as a valued myWaitrose customer you’re perfectly placed to tell us how we’re doing. We wondered if you could spare 5 - 6 minutes to tell us about your recent shopping experience at Waitrose. Fucking show-off. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toast 14,844 Posted January 24, 2017 For the first time ever ..... I've just had a customer survey email from Waitrose: Dear Toast, Nobody’s opinion matters more to us than yours. Because as a valued myWaitrose customer you’re perfectly placed to tell us how we’re doing. We wondered if you could spare 5 - 6 minutes to tell us about your recent shopping experience at Waitrose. Fucking show-off. What? Why? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bibliogryphon 8,662 Posted January 25, 2017 For the first time ever ..... I've just had a customer survey email from Waitrose: Dear Toast, Nobody’s opinion matters more to us than yours. Because as a valued myWaitrose customer you’re perfectly placed to tell us how we’re doing. We wondered if you could spare 5 - 6 minutes to tell us about your recent shopping experience at Waitrose. Fucking show-off. What? Why? I think LFN is suggesting that only Posh people shop in Waitrose. It is great in Market Harborough Waitrose shares a car park with Aldi. People come out of Waitrose with a small bag of shopping and then go into Aldi to fill a trolley. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toast 14,844 Posted January 25, 2017 For the first time ever ..... I've just had a customer survey email from Waitrose: Dear Toast, Nobody’s opinion matters more to us than yours. Because as a valued myWaitrose customer you’re perfectly placed to tell us how we’re doing. We wondered if you could spare 5 - 6 minutes to tell us about your recent shopping experience at Waitrose. Fucking show-off. What? Why? I think LFN is suggesting that only Posh people shop in Waitrose. It is great in Market Harborough Waitrose shares a car park with Aldi. People come out of Waitrose with a small bag of shopping and then go into Aldi to fill a trolley. It was Deathray, not LFN. Ironically I specifically went to Waitrose because their price for Cirio tinned tomatoes (now that possibly makes me posh) was easily the lowest of all the supermarkets available to me. I also shopped in Home Bargains and Sainsburys yesterday. I'm not a creature of habit when it comes to supermarkets. As I live several miles from the nearest town, and more or less equidistant from several towns, I go to whichever one is likely to serve my purposes at the time. So I may be spotted in Waitrose, Aldi, Sainsburys, Lidl, Tesco or occasionally Iceland. Horses for courses. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bibliogryphon 8,662 Posted January 25, 2017 For the first time ever ..... I've just had a customer survey email from Waitrose: Dear Toast, Nobody’s opinion matters more to us than yours. Because as a valued myWaitrose customer you’re perfectly placed to tell us how we’re doing. We wondered if you could spare 5 - 6 minutes to tell us about your recent shopping experience at Waitrose. Fucking show-off. What? Why? I think LFN is suggesting that only Posh people shop in Waitrose. It is great in Market Harborough Waitrose shares a car park with Aldi. People come out of Waitrose with a small bag of shopping and then go into Aldi to fill a trolley. It was Deathray, not LFN. Ironically I specifically went to Waitrose because their price for Cirio tinned tomatoes (now that possibly makes me posh) was easily the lowest of all the supermarkets available to me. I also shopped in Home Bargains and Sainsburys yesterday. I'm not a creature of habit when it comes to supermarkets. As I live several miles from the nearest town, and more or less equidistant from several towns, I go to whichever one is likely to serve my purposes at the time. So I may be spotted in Waitrose, Aldi, Sainsburys, Lidl, Tesco or occasionally Iceland. Horses for courses. Be that starter, main or dessert. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toast 14,844 Posted January 25, 2017 For the first time ever ..... I've just had a customer survey email from Waitrose: Dear Toast, Nobody’s opinion matters more to us than yours. Because as a valued myWaitrose customer you’re perfectly placed to tell us how we’re doing. We wondered if you could spare 5 - 6 minutes to tell us about your recent shopping experience at Waitrose. Fucking show-off. What? Why? I think LFN is suggesting that only Posh people shop in Waitrose. It is great in Market Harborough Waitrose shares a car park with Aldi. People come out of Waitrose with a small bag of shopping and then go into Aldi to fill a trolley. It was Deathray, not LFN. Ironically I specifically went to Waitrose because their price for Cirio tinned tomatoes (now that possibly makes me posh) was easily the lowest of all the supermarkets available to me. I also shopped in Home Bargains and Sainsburys yesterday. I'm not a creature of habit when it comes to supermarkets. As I live several miles from the nearest town, and more or less equidistant from several towns, I go to whichever one is likely to serve my purposes at the time. So I may be spotted in Waitrose, Aldi, Sainsburys, Lidl, Tesco or occasionally Iceland. Horses for courses. Be that starter, main or dessert. I doubt it, a lot of horsey people frequent that particular town. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Spade_Cooley 9,022 Posted January 25, 2017 Soft pretzels as a sandwich receptacle. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,132 Posted January 25, 2017 For the first time ever ..... I've just had a customer survey email from Waitrose: Dear Toast, Nobody’s opinion matters more to us than yours. Because as a valued myWaitrose customer you’re perfectly placed to tell us how we’re doing. We wondered if you could spare 5 - 6 minutes to tell us about your recent shopping experience at Waitrose. Fucking show-off. What? Why? I think LFN is suggesting that only Posh people shop in Waitrose. It is great in Market Harborough Waitrose shares a car park with Aldi. People come out of Waitrose with a small bag of shopping and then go into Aldi to fill a trolley. It was Deathray, not LFN. Ironically I specifically went to Waitrose because their price for Cirio tinned tomatoes (now that possibly makes me posh) was easily the lowest of all the supermarkets available to me. I also shopped in Home Bargains and Sainsburys yesterday. I'm not a creature of habit when it comes to supermarkets. As I live several miles from the nearest town, and more or less equidistant from several towns, I go to whichever one is likely to serve my purposes at the time. So I may be spotted in Waitrose, Aldi, Sainsburys, Lidl, Tesco or occasionally Iceland. Horses for courses. Deffo posh. 2 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Mad Hatter 1,091 Posted January 25, 2017 For the first time ever ..... I've just had a customer survey email from Waitrose: Dear Toast, Nobody’s opinion matters more to us than yours. Because as a valued myWaitrose customer you’re perfectly placed to tell us how we’re doing. We wondered if you could spare 5 - 6 minutes to tell us about your recent shopping experience at Waitrose. Fucking show-off. What? Why? I think LFN is suggesting that only Posh people shop in Waitrose. It is great in Market Harborough Waitrose shares a car park with Aldi. People come out of Waitrose with a small bag of shopping and then go into Aldi to fill a trolley. I thought it was because they referred to toast as their favourite customer and that made lfn a very jealous monkey. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lard Bazaar 3,687 Posted January 25, 2017 Jealous monkey 😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CarolAnn 924 Posted January 25, 2017 I'm not a creature of habit when it comes to supermarkets. As I live several miles from the nearest town, and more or less equidistant from several towns, I go to whichever one is likely to serve my purposes at the time. So I may be spotted in Waitrose, Aldi, Sainsburys, Lidl, Tesco or occasionally Iceland. Horses for courses. Walmart. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,132 Posted January 25, 2017 I'm not a creature of habit when it comes to supermarkets. As I live several miles from the nearest town, and more or less equidistant from several towns, I go to whichever one is likely to serve my purposes at the time. So I may be spotted in Waitrose, Aldi, Sainsburys, Lidl, Tesco or occasionally Iceland. Horses for courses. Walmart. They own ASDA over here. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toast 14,844 Posted January 25, 2017 I'm not a creature of habit when it comes to supermarkets. As I live several miles from the nearest town, and more or less equidistant from several towns, I go to whichever one is likely to serve my purposes at the time. So I may be spotted in Waitrose, Aldi, Sainsburys, Lidl, Tesco or occasionally Iceland. Horses for courses. Walmart. They own ASDA over here. Yeah ... There isn't an Asda near me. Or a Morrisons. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
