Jump to content
Lord Fellatio Nelson

DL Status Updates: Statements, Obsevations & Verbal Tennis

Recommended Posts

:ph34r: I'm saying nothing :ninja:

  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
22 hours ago, Deathray said:

Finally took the plunge and signed up for a gym membership. Now I've just got to get my lazy arse down there...

I did so two weeks ago... a bit late at 34 but I already see a difference after about 5 sessions. Before that, I've swum (swam?) regularly but now my go-to pool has two months of general cleaning. I hope to combine the lean look of swimming with a bit of punch from the gym.

Also, I can deduct (?) the gym membership from my health care fee and get a return. So I basically get 5 months for free.

  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, gcreptile said:

I did so two weeks ago... a bit late at 34 but I already see a difference after about 5 sessions. Before that, I've swum (swam?) regularly but now my go-to pool has two months of general cleaning. I hope to combine the lean look of swimming with a bit of punch from the gym.

Also, I can deduct (?) the gym membership from my health care fee and get a return. So I basically get 5 months for free.

Interesting system with the deductable gym membership fees.

 

I don't think such a system could ever exist in my country. Here most people going to gyms just want to be extra buff (caring less about their health), so a lot of them also take steroids for the quicker muscle building. Health-conscious people would opt for running or cycling instead (or yoga for the ladies).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If I get angry at a car when walking across the road is it road rage or pedestrian rage?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Nah, it's Deathray-ge.

  • Like 1
  • Thanks 1
  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 hours ago, msc said:

Nah, it's Deathray-ge.

Now we need a groan emoji. 

  • Like 1
  • Thanks 1
  • Haha 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
20 hours ago, GossipGabe said:

Interesting system with the deductable gym membership fees.

 

I don't think such a system could ever exist in my country. Here most people going to gyms just want to be extra buff (caring less about their health), so a lot of them also take steroids for the quicker muscle building. Health-conscious people would opt for running or cycling instead (or yoga for the ladies).

You can also run and cyycle in a gym, and I see lots of people doing it. But I chose a "middle-class" gym, if I may say so. The experts go somewhere else...

  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Theory test passed. :)

  • Like 7

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank fuck there is a practical tooooooo.

  • Haha 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, charon said:

Thank fuck there is a practical tooooooo.

 

I'll let you know when I pass and then immediately drive up the M6 and A47 and M74 to come and drive on the roads near you...

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yesterday.

I pulled up outside this village shop and got out of my van to go in.

As I walked up to it this woman got out of her old banger, then her three kids then her , I assume , mother .

Nothing out of the ordinary there you may think except for one thing.

Her mother had the most enormous norks.

Not 'big' boobs', Im talking weapons of mass destruction, colossal mammaries the size of which ive not seen since Chesty Morgan strutted her stuff in Z list 'back row of the cinema wank movies'

This woman, bless her, walked with a stoop and was barely 5ft tall.

Id have offered to hold em up for her as she walked around the store but Id only gone in for a paper and a Kit Kat.

Maybe next time.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 8/1/2017 at 23:39, Deathray said:

 

I'll let you know when I pass and then immediately drive up the M6 and A47 and M74 to come and drive on the roads near you...

Id not do that.

Chaz has bull bars on the front of his Nissan Micra and has vowed to run all English cunts off of the roads.:lol:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
20 minutes ago, Lord Fellatio Nelson said:

Yesterday.

I pulled up outside this village shop and got out of my van to go in.

As I walked up to it this woman got out of her old banger, then her three kids then her , I assume , mother .

Nothing out of the ordinary there you may think except for one thing.

Her mother had the most enormous norks.

Not 'big' boobs', Im talking weapons of mass destruction, colossal mammaries the size of which ive not seen since Chesty Morgan strutted her stuff in Z list 'back row of the cinema wank movies'

This woman, bless her, walked with a stoop and was barely 5ft tall.

Id have offered to hold em up for her as she walked around the store but Id only gone in for a paper and a Kit Kat.

Maybe next time.

Have you ever noticed The Queen has also got a fair set of bangers on her for a geriatric? I'm sure you have, you perv. 

  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, Lard Bazaar said:

Have you ever noticed The Queen has also got a fair set of bangers on her for a geriatric? I'm sure you have, you perv. 

I have not Lardy, however, I did read that little fact in the press some time back.

Fucking humungeous, apparently.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You only get 4 fingers in a kit kat lfn, unlike that granny I'd bet..... And bull bars? Nissan? Nah. Mondeo me ol' son, Brit made so worthless, and doesn't matter if I get a dent or five...

  • Haha 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If you have a brain, this is what consciousness looks like.

Artist and neuroscientist Greg Dunn gives a tour of "Self Reflected" his new artwork done in collaboration with Brian Edwards now on permanent exhibition at the Franklin Institute in Philadelphia.

 

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Fucking hell, awake and stressing because Halfords thieving cunts sold me an EMPTY wiper box yesterday and because I'm away all day today I can't get back to the shop till Monday and there's no way they'll believe the box was empty and I know I'm going to have to kick off.  Fucking cunts. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
7 hours ago, Lard Bazaar said:

Fucking hell, awake and stressing because Halfords thieving cunts sold me an EMPTY wiper box yesterday and because I'm away all day today I can't get back to the shop till Monday and there's no way they'll believe the box was empty and I know I'm going to have to kick off.  Fucking cunts. 

They will believe you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
7 hours ago, Lord Fellatio Nelson said:

They will believe you.

Do you think so? It's really stressing me out!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Just now, Lard Bazaar said:

Do you think so? It's really stressing me out!

You go in and tell them the truth, 3 boxes but only 2 wipers!!!!

Its highly unlikely they will crib over a single wiper.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I hope so because it will be really inconvenient getting arrested, I've loads to do tomorrow! 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
56 minutes ago, Lard Bazaar said:

I hope so because it will be really inconvenient getting arrested, I've loads to do tomorrow! 

Might be one way I could get some rest. 

  • Like 1
  • Thanks 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Lard Bazaar said:

I hope so because it will be really inconvenient getting arrested, I've loads to do tomorrow! 

Fucking hell, its a wiper blade.

Anyway, why do you need THREE wiper blades?

Does your minge get THAT wet?:lol:

  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Two on the front, one on the back. I thought you knew about cars? 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
11 hours ago, Lord Fellatio Nelson said:

Anyway, why do you need THREE wiper blades?

Does your minge get THAT wet?:lol:

 

9 hours ago, Lard Bazaar said:

Two on the front, one on the back. 

:D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

×

Important Information

Your use of this forum is subject to our Terms of Use