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Lord Fellatio Nelson

DL Status Updates: Statements, Obsevations & Verbal Tennis

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On 09/09/2017 at 19:47, charon said:

Not buying that. CR7 is as bent as they come, no judgement, just he doesn't bat that way.

 

Same as the best player in the World <the Swede> , and even the first best player in the World <Pele>

Not being a football fan I have often thought that about CR7 when I have observed his antics but where does the suggestions about the others come from, rumour or personal speculation?

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Well known pic out there re IBRA gazing lovingly into a boys eyes whilst sitting in a car outside a training ground I think.

 

Pele, well his biography stated they used to pass a young kit boy around the international dressing room. Garincha famously lost his virginity to a goat.

 

I believe in Brazil that 'to give' does not equate to being gay.

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On 29/08/2017 at 15:39, msc said:

Everyone always says holiday on these shows. For some reason, they never find the person who says "I'm going to put it in my savings account!"

 

Was watching an episode of Chopped Junior the other day when the 11-year-old contestant, when asked what she would do with the $10k prize, said "well I'll put it in a mutual fund as that has much better interest than a typical savings account".

 

An 11-year-old.

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3 hours ago, Bibliogryphon said:

Not being a football fan I have often thought that about CR7 when I have observed his antics but where does the suggestions about the others come from, rumour or personal speculation?

 

Any time there's a newspaper article about CR7's "good personal friend" Badr Hari you can usually read between the lines.

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It was Pique in the photo I'd thought of....

 

pique-zlatan-ibrahimovic-barcelona-gay.j

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2 hours ago, charon said:

It was Pique in the photo I'd thought of....

 

pique-zlatan-ibrahimovic-barcelona-gay.j

The other guy is married to Shakira and her hips don't lie.

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At St Pancras station waiting to catch the Eurostar to Paris for a meeting tomorrow. 

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39 minutes ago, Bibliogryphon said:

At St Pancras station waiting to catch the Eurostar to Paris for a meeting tomorrow. 

 

Good luck with the Brexit negotiations, your country needs you.

 

:P

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59 minutes ago, msc said:

 

Good luck with the Brexit negotiations, your country needs you.

 

:P

Right Jean-Claude do you want the good news or the bad news? Well its the same we are not leaving after all.

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On 9/10/2017 at 19:57, Joey Russ said:

I have a feeling that a very well known person will die this week. Not talking nationally like Liz Dawn (who may or may not be on her way out), but someone who is very well known on an international level. Mind you, I will probably be wrong...

I thought my feeling would be wrong, but with the death of Harry Dean Stanton, that sadly is not the case...

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Earlier this evening I put on a load of washing.  My elderly washing machine emitted a series of beeps, flashing lights and an Error Number.

"Shit", I thought.  "I don't need this." 

So I blanked it out for a bit and did something else.

Later I noticed the cause of the problem.  I had forgotten to close the door of the machine.

 

embarrassed-smiley50.gif

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So this could be a post for the Gigs thread, or the Family Deaths thread, but I’ll put it here as it’s a ‘status’ and a fucking half.

 

We went to London Town yesterday to see the Foo Fighters at the o2.  Three hour drive, safely done, until literally 2 minutes from the hotel, we were stopped at traffic lights, a van in front of us got impatient with the car in front of him, slammed his van into reverse to go round him and smacked straight into the front of my prized Scenic.  Both parties jumped out, I did lots of arm waving and swearing, the van driver did lots of being calm and apologetic, we established there was no real damage and went on our way, but I was really quite shocked!  Anyway, we carried on our way and checked in to the hotel.

 

We made a plan to get to the venue, and the old man was really keen to go on that cable car thing across the river – I reluctantly agreed as I absolutely fucking hate things like that and am terrified – I was crying before I even got on it, and spent the whole ‘flight’ with a jumper round my head crying into his shoulder and shaking like a shitting dog.  But, unsurprisingly, the cable car did not fall off into the river, or stop halfway, or get blown up, and we disembarked and made our way to the venue.  Got through security fine because I ACTUALLY READ THE TICKET BUYING RULES unlike all these other absolute PISS-TUBES that cried about not getting in because they bought their tickets off touts.  Took our seats and waited….and just before the band were due on stage, I received a text from my dad to tell me my Grandad had just died.  This had not been unexpected however we didn’t realise it was quite so imminent.  So whilst the gig was actually fucking amazing,  a couple of the songs caught me off guard and I found myself in floods of tears a couple of times.

 

Gig over and a taxi ride back to the hotel, with a very friendly taxi driver who was also a big Foo Fighters fan.

 

Finally dropped off into a troubled sleep at 3am.

 

Woke up at 8 to a text from my brother to say my dad had taken a very nasty fall down the stairs late last night after returning from being with my grandad, and that my brother and dad were currently at the hospital.  Dad has broken his foot and has very nasty cuts and bruises, having landed in a very small space on top of a very large, heavy, and now very broken doorstop. Blood fucking everywhere.

So we got dressed and left as soon as we could. The satnav had other idea.  Rather than take us up to the M25, it took us through the actual centre of London – saw the Tower of London, the Embankment, the London Eye and Big Ben, The Strand, Trafalgar Square, oh yes we saw the fucking lot.  Although to be fair I had previously moaned that we probably wouldn’t have time to see the sights – how wrong I was.

 

Anyway, am now safely back home trying to help with funeral arrangements, Dad’s at home with his foot in a boot feeling very sorry for himself and I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.

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Fuck me, awful 24 hours lardy. Hope dad okay.

 

 

But, who the fuck relies on sat nav??

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7 minutes ago, charon said:

Fuck me, awful 24 hours lardy. Hope dad okay.

 

 

But, who the fuck relies on sat nav??

Country bumpkins that don't know any better :lol:

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Lol, aye. Renewed my road map only weeks ago. Will never use sat nav.

 

Now you have me thinking though. Isn't there something re a street behind a theatre in Babylondon being unique? Drive on the right or something???

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Oh dear Lardy.  All I can say is, what a blessing the worst of it happened after you'd got to the gig and not before.

 

What IS the point of that cable car?  I thought of going on it once on my way to the O2, but it's not really in a convenient place.  So I went on the river boat instead and that was nice.

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Jesus Christ on a cracker, Lardy. I'm glad you are OK. That was a day and a half from hell.

 

And by the way - I depend heavily on Google Maps and rarely get into trouble following it regardless of which major US city I happen to be in. In the spirit of full disclosure, though, I will mention that a recent attempt to locate Berryessa/Snow Mountain National Monument in California using Google Maps ended up with me, my husband and my little car at a remote vineyard behind a ranch in the California Coastal Range, hemmed in by a river and the remains of a mudslide. The winery was neat, though - the main building was an old stagecoach stop.

 

Never did find the monument.

 

I will go sit my sanctimonious American ass down now..... :) 

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28 minutes ago, Toast said:

Oh dear Lardy.  All I can say is, what a blessing the worst of it happened after you'd got to the gig and not before.

 

What IS the point of that cable car?  I thought of going on it once on my way to the O2, but it's not really in a convenient place.  So I went on the river boat instead and that was nice.

Our hotel was just a few steps away from the cable car, boat would have been my preferred option but there weren't any that we could find, and the old man really wanted to go on the cable car like a tourist! 

 

It really was a fantastic show, despite all the other shit. 

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9 hours ago, Lard Bazaar said:

So this could be a post for the Gigs thread, or the Family Deaths thread, but I’ll put it here as it’s a ‘status’ and a fucking half.

 

We went to London Town yesterday to see the Foo Fighters at the o2.  Three hour drive, safely done, until literally 2 minutes from the hotel, we were stopped at traffic lights, a van in front of us got impatient with the car in front of him, slammed his van into reverse to go round him and smacked straight into the front of my prized Scenic.  Both parties jumped out, I did lots of arm waving and swearing, the van driver did lots of being calm and apologetic, we established there was no real damage and went on our way, but I was really quite shocked!  Anyway, we carried on our way and checked in to the hotel.

 

We made a plan to get to the venue, and the old man was really keen to go on that cable car thing across the river – I reluctantly agreed as I absolutely fucking hate things like that and am terrified – I was crying before I even got on it, and spent the whole ‘flight’ with a jumper round my head crying into his shoulder and shaking like a shitting dog.  But, unsurprisingly, the cable car did not fall off into the river, or stop halfway, or get blown up, and we disembarked and made our way to the venue.  Got through security fine because I ACTUALLY READ THE TICKET BUYING RULES unlike all these other absolute PISS-TUBES that cried about not getting in because they bought their tickets off touts.  Took our seats and waited….and just before the band were due on stage, I received a text from my dad to tell me my Grandad had just died.  This had not been unexpected however we didn’t realise it was quite so imminent.  So whilst the gig was actually fucking amazing,  a couple of the songs caught me off guard and I found myself in floods of tears a couple of times.

 

Gig over and a taxi ride back to the hotel, with a very friendly taxi driver who was also a big Foo Fighters fan.

 

Finally dropped off into a troubled sleep at 3am.

 

Woke up at 8 to a text from my brother to say my dad had taken a very nasty fall down the stairs late last night after returning from being with my grandad, and that my brother and dad were currently at the hospital.  Dad has broken his foot and has very nasty cuts and bruises, having landed in a very small space on top of a very large, heavy, and now very broken doorstop. Blood fucking everywhere.

So we got dressed and left as soon as we could. The satnav had other idea.  Rather than take us up to the M25, it took us through the actual centre of London – saw the Tower of London, the Embankment, the London Eye and Big Ben, The Strand, Trafalgar Square, oh yes we saw the fucking lot.  Although to be fair I had previously moaned that we probably wouldn’t have time to see the sights – how wrong I was.

 

Anyway, am now safely back home trying to help with funeral arrangements, Dad’s at home with his foot in a boot feeling very sorry for himself and I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.

Oh my goodness. Sorry for the loss of your grandfather. Hope your dad gets better soon as well - tell him to be aware of blood clots from the broken foot. It is more dangerous than many know. My step-son died from a clot to his heart after having a broken leg that was not set properly. He was only 41 with two children.

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1 hour ago, theoldlady said:

Oh my goodness. Sorry for the loss of your grandfather. Hope your dad gets better soon as well - tell him to be aware of blood clots from the broken foot. It is more dangerous than many know. My step-son died from a clot to his heart after having a broken leg that was not set properly. He was only 41 with two children.

Thanks, to everyone :) Fortunately my brother is living with Dad at the moment so we can keep an eye out. And how sad for your family, something so 'simple' as a broken limb being so dangerous :o

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3 hours ago, theoldlady said:

Oh my goodness. Sorry for the loss of your grandfather. Hope your dad gets better soon as well - tell him to be aware of blood clots from the broken foot. It is more dangerous than many know. My step-son died from a clot to his heart after having a broken leg that was not set properly. He was only 41 with two children.

Fucking hell.

You are full of cheer, aren't you!

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And now my dad's sister has collapsed today and is in hospital. Someone is taking the piss out of us. 

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18 hours ago, Lard Bazaar said:

So this could be a post for the Gigs thread, or the Family Deaths thread, but I’ll put it here as it’s a ‘status’ and a fucking half.

Anyway, am now safely back home trying to help with funeral arrangements, Dad’s at home with his foot in a boot feeling very sorry for himself and I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.

 

Sorry to hear about your grandad (RIP), hope your dad and his sister both better soon, good you got to see the Foos again (I missed out on my favourite bands when they were active) and sorry to hear that brother in law (?) you hate hasn't yet been eaten by a crocodile yet.  I think thats everything in order, there.

 

Also, cable car? London? What's the point of that!

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5 hours ago, Lord Fellatio Nelson said:

Fucking hell.

You are full of cheer, aren't you!

 

I mean, no offence intended, of course, but I now imagine that even if there was a truly wonderful occasion, TheOldLady would be there to dampen it down. Like, someone's given birth to a new baby child, and there she is, warning about child mortality rates! Or it's a sunny day in the UK, and there's the skin cancer warning! :lol:

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