Your Least Impressive Celebrity Encounters

[Anubis the Jackal 77]

"Change"

I like to make things easy for you.

[Captain Oates 21]

Melons

[Monoclinic 39]

Misunderestimated, as in

 

"They misunderestimated me." --George W. Bush, Bentonville, Ark., Nov. 6, 2000

 

or miscalculated, as in

 

"They have miscalculated me as a leader." --George W. Bush, Westminster, Calif., Sept. 13, 2000

 

or trustworthiness, as in

 

"Well, I think if you say you're going to do something and don't do it, that's trustworthiness." --George W. Bush, in a CNN online chat, Aug. 30, 2000

 

 

More Bushisms to be found here.

[Paul Bearer 6,101]

Give me a word (nothing dirty, and nothing too outlandish like obituary) and I'll see if I can get it in Obama's speech.

 

Duck the bullet

[Typhoid Harry 23]

Give me a word (nothing dirty, and nothing too outlandish like obituary) and I'll see if I can get it in Obama's speech.

 

I've seen the "transition team/staff" questionnaire and if you're telling us true, you are screwed for posting here.

 

 

As for claims to fame, I played American baseball for number of years and once had a brief affair with a minor actress.

[Paul Bearer 6,101]

As for claims to fame, I played American baseball for number of years and once had a brief affair with a minor actress.

 

Name dropping is totally acceptable

[Death Watch Beatle 41]

Give me a word (nothing dirty, and nothing too outlandish like obituary) and I'll see if I can get it in Obama's speech.

 

I've seen the "transition team/staff" questionnaire and if you're telling us true, you are screwed for posting here.

 

 

As for claims to fame, I played American baseball for number of years and once had a brief affair with a minor actress.

 

Harry, name dropping is allowed!

 

Daniel Chatto recently came to my work establishment wanting a new art catalogue printed. Did a little drawing for us and signed it Banksy. He doesn't like the grafitti blokes work and thought his 30-second sketch worthy of his name!

 

Any idea what this scribble might be worth?

 

DWB

 

Edit: I seem to have been beaten to the name dropping comment - but I think that shows we all want to know more!

[maryportfuncity 10,642]

I'm the the local paper today. She was mad for it I tell you, mad for it!

[Phantom 2,533]

I got offered a shag by one of Skid Row's roadies out the back of the Birmingham NEC many years ago.

 

I very briefly dated one of the girls from Dr & The Medics

[Redmega 0]

Posing as a new character in Hollyoaks - I was introduced to Lucy Pinder and Michelle Marsh after their "performance" at a Blondes V Brunettes wet t-shirt show in Guildford. A pleasant evening ensued, wedged between them on the sofa drinking free champagne. The Nuts photographers took plenty of pictures but alas, when my Hollyoaks story didn't check out, I wasn't featured in the publication

[Cowboy Ronnie 78]

I was an astronaut. No, I mean a pop star.

 

The truth of the matter is, I dated Julia Roberts but had to break things off because she was too needy.

 

I once swam the Atlantic. Underwater.

 

Now, I live in an island in the South China Sea. My only neighbours are Michael Winner, and a giant, robot Kong.

[DevonDeathTrip 2,358]

I was an astronaut. No, I mean a pop star.

 

The truth of the matter is, I dated Julia Roberts but had to break things off because she was too needy.

 

I once swam the Atlantic. Underwater.

 

Now, I live in an island in the South China Sea. My only neighbours are Michael Winner, and a giant, robot Kong.

 

 

You're too modest, CR. We all know about your affair with Princess Di.

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

I'm the the local paper today. She was mad for it I tell you, mad for it!

 

Has anyone got this guy's number?

 

 

I was an astronaut. No, I mean a pop star.

 

The truth of the matter is, I dated Julia Roberts but had to break things off because she was too needy.

 

I once swam the Atlantic. Underwater.

 

Now, I live in an island in the South China Sea. My only neighbours are Michael Winner, and a giant, robot Kong.

 

Are you Aldridge Pryor from Viz?

[Dia de los Muertos 7]

I got married by one of the Alabama Three (The Sopranos theme tune, anyone?), at Glastonbury 2004. The BBC was there and asked us if they could film it. We said yes, and they showed our wedding on News 24 the following morning, as part of their Glastonbury coverage.

A friend on mine was on a business trip in the US, turned the news on, and saw me getting married. Crazy or what?

I eventually got a copy of the show from the BBC. I always tell people it is the best wedding video they will ever see, because it is only 2.5 minutes long

[TAFKAG 70]

Give me a word (nothing dirty, and nothing too outlandish like obituary) and I'll see if I can get it in Obama's speech.

So which word was it? In the absence of muppet or grampus or any outlandish words at all, I'm plumping for either swill or nucular nuclear.

 

Or did Jon Favreau freeze you out, Mr Miser?

[Terminator 13]

Am about to film a karaoke scene in a London-based movie starring Michael Caine, as a sort of geriatric version of Paul Kersey (Death Wish I ad nauseam), around South London.

 

Bumped into Marvelous Marvin Hagler by Freddie Mills' gym (at the bottom of my road), before he boxed Alan Minter. The Finnigans used to box there too. Chris Finnegan asked me to arrange a pool match with his pub, which was fair enough until the newpapers covered a knifing ON the pool table the next day.

 

I was crossing Gt Portland Street, London when I heard a loud screetch of tyres and the driver pressing his horn. It was my neighbour (a private chauffeur out of Pinewood studios) laughing hysterically at my shock. I met him later and asked who was that woman in the front seat laughing, he told me it was Laura Hutton.

 

In the late eighties, I met a mate at the Prince of Wales Feathers, Goodge Street, London. Anyhoos, this wizzened arm stretched between us and asked, in a gutteral voice..."large whiskey".. Before seeing him, the voice gave it away, it was Michael Robbins. He really looked ill and had just left the TV recording studios on Euston Road. He dies soon after.

 

Played exhibition snooker matches against Alex Higgins, Willie Thorne, Ray Reardon, Doug Mountjoy, Tony Knowles, David Taylor (when they were all top-ranking players).

 

My Mongolian-style Kong Fu teacher (Lajos Jacob) trained Roger Moore for the Man With The Golden Gun. Although a polio-sufferer, he challenged Bruce Lee to fight in the ring, but was declined.

 

I belted out some ol' karaoke song, back in the early nineties in Battersea and as I lurched back to my drink at the bar, an old, owl-faced, purrulent, beetroot-faced bloke said something like "well done", although it sounded more like he was going to retch. It was David Hemmings.

 

There's loads more of these sad claims to fame, but (you'll be thankful to know), I'm outta here for now.

[harrymcnallysblueandwhitearmy 1,684]

If I might bask in some reflected glory, my little brother will be strolling down the red carpet and trying to get off with Angelina in a couple of weeks, as he's been Oscar-nominated for Best Animated Short Film for the coffintastic This Way Up.

 

Should he win, there will be absolutely no self-lacerating bitterness or murderous envy on my part whatsoever.

[N. Fritz 49]

* Met Jim Davis (Garfield) at a book signing at Marshall Fields in Chicago

 

* Met Isaac Bashevis Singer at a lecture... He signed my copy of Zlateh the Goat "Love, I. B. Singer"

 

* Met Kurt Waldheim as part of the first American delegation to meet him after elected president of Austria (dubious achievement I know!)

 

* Had lunch with Thomas Hampson and a bunch of other famous opera singers (although at the time I didn't know who they were!)

 

* Related by marriage to John Quincy Adams and Patch Adams

[harrymcnallysblueandwhitearmy 1,684]

If I might bask in some reflected glory, my little brother will be strolling down the red carpet and trying to get off with Angelina in a couple of weeks, as he's been Oscar-nominated for Best Animated Short Film for the coffintastic This Way Up.

 

Should he win, there will be absolutely no self-lacerating bitterness or murderous envy on my part whatsoever.

He's one of these two cleverclogs. I got all the looks, obviously.

[halleluyahjohntudor 5]

I have played American football, I've never been defeated in the qualifying rounds for the Wimbledon tennis championships, and no newspaper has ever paid me to reveal the sordid details of any affair with a major American actress.

[CarolAnn 926]

If I might bask in some reflected glory, my little brother will be strolling down the red carpet and trying to get off with Angelina in a couple of weeks, as he's been Oscar-nominated for Best Animated Short Film for the coffintastic This Way Up.

 

Should he win, there will be absolutely no self-lacerating bitterness or murderous envy on my part whatsoever.

He's one of these two cleverclogs. I got all the looks, obviously.

 

If he's the one on the right I'd do him.

[Handrejka 1,903]

If I might bask in some reflected glory, my little brother will be strolling down the red carpet and trying to get off with Angelina in a couple of weeks, as he's been Oscar-nominated for Best Animated Short Film for the coffintastic This Way Up.

 

Should he win, there will be absolutely no self-lacerating bitterness or murderous envy on my part whatsoever.

He's one of these two cleverclogs. I got all the looks, obviously.

 

If he's the one on the right I'd do him.

 

Aye me too. Not bad, not at all

[harrymcnallysblueandwhitearmy 1,684]

If I might bask in some reflected glory, my little brother will be strolling down the red carpet and trying to get off with Angelina in a couple of weeks, as he's been Oscar-nominated for Best Animated Short Film for the coffintastic This Way Up.

 

Should he win, there will be absolutely no self-lacerating bitterness or murderous envy on my part whatsoever.

He's one of these two cleverclogs. I got all the looks, obviously.

 

If he's the one on the right I'd do him.

 

Aye me too. Not bad, not at all

I'll be sure to pass on your messages of, uh, goodwill. Cartoonist groupies are fairly thin on the ground, I'd imagine.

 

For my part, I've begun rehearsing the "hey baby, my brother almost won an Oscar" chat-up line already.

[Lady Grendel 139]

If I might bask in some reflected glory, my little brother will be strolling down the red carpet and trying to get off with Angelina in a couple of weeks, as he's been Oscar-nominated for Best Animated Short Film for the coffintastic This Way Up.

 

Should he win, there will be absolutely no self-lacerating bitterness or murderous envy on my part whatsoever.

He's one of these two cleverclogs. I got all the looks, obviously.

 

If he's the one on the right I'd do him.

 

Aye me too. Not bad, not at all

 

Why do I get the impression that if a poll were started among the DL ladies about 'arry's brother with the options of 'I would' or 'I wouldn't' that the 'I wouldn't' button would be fairly redundant, being a paragon of virtue and noticing he was wearing a wedding ring, I would be the only one that said no, take away the ring though..........................

 

Seriously though 'arry, good luck to him, I really hope he wins . I thoroughly enjoyed his film, nice to see he is following in the family tradition of 'death', any chance he can work the DL into his Oscar winning speech?

[Banshees Scream 110]

I congratulate you, Harold. It's an honour to look in the mirror and know that your brother might actually be a winner.

 

Seriously, it might not be a pick-up-line to remember but it's nothing to forget. I hope he manages to capture some glory.

I have written a few short films myself and I hope to expose them at some point in the future. However, I have higher priorities. The mindset has to be "expecting nothing for something". It's just about sending a message, that's all.