Leaderboard

At least the child abuse enquiry can now literally take place over his dead body, as he requested.

She didn't get where she is today, by being alive.

Miss, miss, time is doing his Sean Connery impersonation again! regards, Hein

I was just about post that, then the phone rang.

No bullshit, back in the days when I was paid decent money to write jokes, I snagged an agreeable sum of cash for a rant about Hein's first point above. Basically, suggesting that every cabinet had two members selected more or less that way who were there to talk common sense and free to report back to anyone after their stint. It struck me at the time that it was a good practical idea. My suggestion for random selection is limited to representatives, the idea being that they appoint executive personnel who actually know what they're on about, rather than being a member of the right party. My main beef with the current system is that it appoints people to positions of power who want it, which in my opinion disqualifies them. Of course a few safeguards must be put in place to remove from the system the weak-minded, incompetent and insane. That would pretty much mean the current lot. regards, Hein

ISIS are going to save on the expense of training suicide bombers by breeding swarms of killer insects. Expect the first wave of Jihaddi Longlegs any day.

I didn't know that Toastie, mind you I don't watch it to be fair.......... Oh, it's great. As long as you can tolerate the violent deaths, blood and gore, incest, swearing, full frontal nudity, sex, torture and tits. Wilko's character has had his tongue torn out, so he didn't have any lines to learn. Sounds like Norfolk Toastie!!

While I agree that playing the same character forever doesn't show a wide acting range, being purely pragmatic it makes sense to stay in a regular well-paid job that you enjoy doing for as long as possible for security reasons.Anyway, Deirdre was involved in most of the best Corrie storylines I can remember - Rovers lorry crash where Tracey was missing, Ken/Mike affair, the whole Samir thing, and going to prison.She'll be missed. Possibly not the finest example to be fair. That was a cringing plot and the fella that played Samir was so wooden it looked like somebody had left a fence on the Street. Hey, her specs live on, right? I still watched it in those days. Was it ever explained why she pronounced his name "Shamir" for ages and then suddenly started calling him "Samir"?

Surrre, he gets the credit for starting the thread, now. lol

.... or likely to be assassinated

Brilliant! And stolen :-D You say stolen, I say thoughtfully shared. Beats being shariad. regards, Hein

My condolences - sending you coping vibes too.

Finally, Betty has a page to herself.

Did you know Dr Zorders is an anagram of Massive Twat? Gotta love the English language! lol And youse is "Roll, Flee, Old Onanist!" So roll off innit, flabby (probably) Im lots of things but im not flabby!! HEY! There's only one chubster around here, and it ain't either of you bellends

I didn't know that Toastie, mind you I don't watch it to be fair.......... Oh, it's great. As long as you can tolerate the violent deaths, blood and gore, incest, swearing, full frontal nudity, sex, torture and tits. Wilko's character has had his tongue torn out, so he didn't have any lines to learn.

No she was 60, her neck was 84 Handy. Vocal chords 107. Smoking kills, kids...

Sorry to hear that, my sympathies Rad. When a strong person lives so long, it sometimes seems they are invincible, all the more shocking when they go. Peace, YoungWillz. Yeah, she was very strong. Her health was amazing until a few weeks before her death. We all expected her to live to be 100+!

Not a guy that looks like he's going anywhere anytime soon, or 2015 at least. SC http://www.junction.co.uk/wilko-johnson

A little boy is with his mother while she is dress shopping. He wanders off and after much looking she finds him under a mannequin's skirt looking up and staring. She is concerned that he is taking such an interest at a young age and tries to put him off by telling him that he needs to be very careful about that part of a lady's anatomy because they have "Big teeth, sharp teeth, sharp teeth that bite". She repeats it to him a few times and he grows up genuinely believing that women have teeth there, big teeth, sharp teeth, sharp teeth that bite. He grows up and gets his first girlfriend and things are getting hot and heavy on the couch and despite all of her urgings, he won't go anywhere near her ladybits. She says "Why won't you touch me down there?" He replies, "Cause you've got teeth down there, big teeth, sharp teeth, sharp teeth that bite." "What?" "You have big teeth, sharp teeth, sharp teeth that bite." "That is the most ridiculous thing that I have ever heard..Look I'll show you" So the girl lifts up her skirt and pulls down her panties and pulls her lips apart. "See no teeth!" And he says "Well, with the state your gums are in I am hardly surprised"

Lol, if we keep going we will get to... Lord Fallatio builds a bonfire