TQR 14,386 Posted November 7, 2020 Okay. Let’s try something new. Something that’ll hopefully not play into the hands of research-happy deadpooling grandees. Something that weeds out both the obvious and the obscure. So, first things first, you pick 5 names. I’d suggest a couple of subs as well in case of death or any of the rules (I’ll get to those) being broken before the start. Quite simply, first to a full house of deads is the winner. If more than one person gets across the line at the same time, the winner will be the team with the lowest average age of death. If the average ages of death are identical to the day, the world implodes and our lives will end All normal so far, right? But there are a fair few rules with which to comply, the reason being that this is meant to be a pool of punts (note please, name), rather than no-brainers. Not a single dead cert or “Whooooooo?” in sight. Deaths that’ll make us exclaim “Bloody hell!”, rather than mutter “About time”. Think David Hasselhoff rather than David Gulpilil. Now pay attention, you punts. Health Rules: These are, of course, to the best of public knowledge at the start time. They must have been born between 1931 and 2002. If they have cancer, the year of birth limit rises to 1961 and it can’t be terminal or any higher than Stage 3. If this is unknown, it's not allowed. Also, no more than one of these per team please. If they have Dementia of any kind, or Parkinson’s, the year of birth limit rises to 1951 and it must not have been diagnosed any more than 3 years ago. If it’s unknown when roughly they were diagnosed, it’s not allowed. Also, no more than one of these per team please. They must not have MND, ALS, COPD or any other degenerative illness I’ve not mentioned that will ultimately cause their death. Don't even question it. They must not have had a stroke, heart attack/failure or multiple organ failure in the last 5 years. I'll accept people with slightly dicky tickers who haven't had a heart attack/failure. They must not have been given a limited time to live, unless it was only by a charlatan clairvoyant. They must not have been sentenced to death. They must not be a missing person. They must be a fucking human, obviously. If it only becomes public knowledge after the start date that your pick contravened any of these health rules, you’re a lucky sod. But if I find any evidence of their illness from before the start date, I'll be on you like a puma. And finally, if you dare submit a single Famous For Being Ill pick (which of course would grossly contravene at least one of these rules), not only will you be instantly banned from entering this pool but I will dedicate the rest of my life to persecuting you mercilessly in what will be one of the most poisonous vendettas of all time. Fame Rules: These are the four criteria for fame, but your pick does not need to comply with all of these: They’ve had any article written about them within the last 12 months. Not fussy where, and it can be anything, even something as menial as being snapped taking the bins out à la Alex Trebek (though he’s not allowed, for obvious reasons). They’ve appeared in the world of film, TV, music, radio, sport, politics, podcasts, YouTube or their own published content within the last 18 months. They’ve more than 200k followers on Twitter, Instagram or Facebook. They’ve more than 1,000 words in their Wikipedia UK article. As I say, not all of these have to be complied with, but… If none of these criteria are met, your pick is not allowed. If 1 or 2 of them are met, I will choose 4 other posters (of a varied demographic) to PM and ask if they know who the pick is. If there’s more than one ‘no’ (including from me), your pick is not allowed. I won’t publicly name said posters I consult, and neither will I reveal to them who picked each name. If 3 or all 4 of the criteria are met, happy days, and thank you for making things a bit easier. Obit Rules: Qualifying Obits are pretty much a cut/paste from the DDP, with the exception of BBC regional news (must be national or world) and The S*n (I’m boycotting the cunts and I make no apology for that). If they obit after the start date but died before it, tough shit mate. A sub of yours comes into play. And Finally... Each name can only be picked by up to 3 people; this is on a first-come-first-served basis. Submit your team via PM to me. Don't post it here. As soon as I’ve approved it, I’ll let you know, and I'll update the master list. I reserve the right to ask you to prove compliance to any of the above rules before I allow it. Any rejected names (and names that’ve been picked 3 times) will be posted below. Remember, the rules apply right up to the start date, midnight GMT on Friday 1st January 2021. ALL of the above is in aid of getting big name picks that perhaps are often left out of existing pools because they're seen as being too likely to survive. I don’t expect this to be the most fast-paced of deadpools as, if this works how I intend, each and every death will be at least fairly surprising. With this in mind, I’ll make the whole exercise worthwhile and, much like how our highly regarded member for Maryport does with his pools, I have a charity pot. 30 quid will go to the winner’s established charity or JustGiving page of choice. Additionally, in another desperate effort to try and encourage big name picks that aren’t obviously at death’s door, whoever submits my personal favourite team earns their choice of aforementioned good cause a tenner on Christmas Day. Even if you don’t get a single hit, you’ve made a difference. Don't agree with who I pick? Sue me. Entries open immediately. The entry deadline is 00:00GMT, Friday 25th December 2020. Start time is 00:00GMT, Friday 1st January 2021. Now go on, fuck off and pick some people we’ve all heard of. Best of luck! 9 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TQR 14,386 Posted November 7, 2020 Disallowed Picks These picks breached the health rules: Derek Draper Desmond Tutu Olivia Newton-John Ted Turner Phyllida Law Ozzy Osborne Harvey Weinstein Tom Parker Jake Roberts Prunella Scales Bob Barker Larry King Stacy Keach Rolf Harris Stuart Hall These ones didn’t pass the fame rules/test: Alice Munro Alfred Brendel Bill Russell Bob Pettit Jenny Craig Kalpana Kartik Djamila Bouhired Harry Knowles Leonel Sánchez Ingrid van Bergen These ones died before the start: Des O’Connor Diego Maradonna Peter Alliss John le Carré And these ones have been picked 3 times, so are now out of bounds: Mikhail Gorbachev Yoko Ono William Shatner Jimmy Greaves Willie Nelson Abdelaziz Bouteflika Bill Clinton Donald Trump 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TQR 14,386 Posted November 7, 2020 The Masterlist The Participants: Dying Probably (DYP) TQR (TQR) time (TIM) BuffaloPhil (BUF) Bibliogryphon (BIB) Great Uncle Bulgaria (GUB) Toast (TOA) msc (MSC) Spade Cooley (SPA) Newjack (NEW) Banana (BAN) Don’t Fear The Reaper (DFR) Grim Up North (GUN) gcreptile (GCR) Handrejka (HAN) En Passant (ENP) RoverAndOut (ROV) Boudicca (BOU) Joey Russ (JRU) Death Impends (DIM) markb4 (MB4) YorkshireBanker (YBA) QTips (QTI) CaptainChorizo (CHO) GuyFromFuture (GFF) CalebH (CAL) theoldlady (OLD) the_engineer (ENG) JoeMoneypenny (JMP) DeathByArsenic (DBA) The Old Crem (TOC) Charles De Gaulle (CDG) Kenny (KEN) Book (BOK) An A-Z of Picks: Abdelaziz Bouteflika (d. 17-09-2021) - NEW, ENG, JMP Adele - TOC Agnes Chow - JMP Alex Ferguson - TIM Alpha Female - YBA Ann-Margret - DYP Anne Tyler - BIB Annie Nightingale (d. 11-01-2024) - TIM Art Garfunkel - MSC Arthur Scargill - QTI Artie Lange - SPA Ayatollah Ali Khomenei - CDG Barbara Eden - DYP Ben Stokes - TOC Bernard Ingham (d. 24-02-2023) - BAN Bill Clinton - MB4, CDG, KEN Bill Cosby - KEN Bono - BOU Brenda Lee - DIM Brigitte Bardot - TIM, CAL Carl Douglas - JMP Chrissy Metz - YBA Christopher Walken - JRU Chubby Checker - DYP Chumlee - DBA Connie Francis - DIM Danniella Westbrook - JMP David Crosby (d. 18-01-2023) - BAN, BOK David Hockney - TOA David Lynch - HAN David Mellor - GUB Dennis Skinner - TQR, GCR Dick Cheney - NEW Dickie Bird - NEW Don Everly (d. 21-08-2021) - DIM Don Young (d. 18-03-2022) - DYP Donald Rumsfeld (d. 29-06-2021) - GCR Donald Trump - BOU, MB4, KEN Donovan - HAN Dustin Hoffman - OLD Eddie Bernice Johnson (d. 31-12-2023) - CHO Edmund White - BOK Emily Lloyd - YBA Emperor Akihito - BUF Eric Pickles - BIB Esther Rantzen - CAL Eugenia Cooney - CHO, CDG Francis Ford Coppola - OLD Françoise Hardy (d. 11-06-2024) - CHO Frank Williams (d. 28-11-2021) - CDG Frankie Avalon - DIM Geoff Hurst - QTI Gérard Depardieu - TOA, DBA Ghislaine Maxwell - KEN Gloria Hunniford - CAL Hayden Panettiere - DBA Helmut Berger (d. 18-05-2023) - CAL Irma Thomas - TQR Jackie Stewart - TQR James Caan (d. 06-07-2022) - GUN Jane Fonda - OLD Jerry Lee Lewis (d. 26-10-2022 and again just to be sure on 28-10-2022) - BOK Jimmy Greaves (d. 19-09-2021) - BAN, ROV, ENG Jimmy Page - JRU Joan Baez - DBA Joe Biden - JRU, TIM Joe Pesci - ROV Joel Grey - BOK John Goodman - MSC John Major - DYP John Williams - BUF Johnny Depp - BOU, GCR Joni Mitchell - ROV Jordan Peterson - JMP Katharine, Duchess of Kent - BIB, TOA Kathy Burke - ROV Kenny Sansom - GUN King Charles III - BOU Lalo Schifrin - SPA Len Goodman (d. 22-04-2023) - GUB Lil Kim - DBA Loretta Lynn (d. 04-10-2022) - NEW Maggie Smith - TQR Mario Zagallo (d. 05-01-2024) - GFF Mason Greenwood - TOC Michael Barrymore - MSC Michael Caine - MB4 Michael Dukakis - ENP Michael Moorcock - BIB Michael Parkinson (d. 16-08-2023) - MB4 Michelle Phillips - HAN Mikhail Gorbachev (d. 30-08-2022) - BAN, BUF, SPA Nigel Lawson (d. 03-04-2023) - GUB Norman Fowler - GUN, BOK Norman Tebbit - GUB, ROV Olympia Dukakis (d. 01-05-2021) - ENP Paul Anka - DIM Paul Gascoigne - BOU Pelé (d. 29-12-2022) - GFF Pete Doherty - YBA Prince Andrew - KEN Prince Edward, Duke of Kent - CDG Raúl Castro - GCR Raymond Briggs (d. 09-08-2022) - TOA Richard Dean Anderson - DFR Richard Ingrams - TOA Richard O’Sullivan - QTI Richard Rogers (d. 18-12-2021) - ENP Richard Shelby - CHO Rick Ross - YBA Rita Ora - TOC Rita Tushingham - HAN Robbie Coltrane (d. 14-10-2022) - GUN, TQR Robert Duvall - ENG Roman Polanski - QTI Roseanne Barr - HAN Rupert Murdoch - BUF, ENP Russell Grant - MSC Scarlett Moffat - GUB Shane MacGowan (d. 30-11-2023) - ENG Sinead O’Connor (d. 26-07-2023) - GFF Steve Buscemi - MSC Tammy Lynn Sytch - CAL Terry Funk (d. 23-08-2023) - SPA Tim Curry - DFR Tim Dillon - GFF Tinto Brass - CHO Tom Baker - BIB Tom Holland - TOC Tom Scholz - DFR Tom Selleck - TIM Trevor McDonald - QTI Ursula Andress - OLD Val Kilmer - NEW Warren Beatty - OLD Wendy Craig - GFF William Shatner - BUF, ENP, GUN Willie Mays (d. 18-06-2024) - DFR Willie Nelson - BAN, JRU, ENG Yoko Ono - GCR, SPA, MB4 6ix9ine - DFR, JRU The Scoreboard: Banana - 4 Engineer - 3 GuyFromFuture - 3 En Passant - 2 Newjack - 2 Grim Up North - 2 Book - 2 Great Uncle Bulgaria - 2 Spade Cooley - 2 CaptainChorizo - 2 gcreptile - 1 Death Impends - 1 RoverAndOut - 1 Charles d’Irlande - 1 Joemoneypenny - 1 Dying Probably - 1 Toast - 1 BuffaloPhil - 1 TQR - 1 CalebH - 1 Markb4 - 1 time - 1 Don't Fear The Reaper - 1 Every other fucker - 0 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dying Probably 578 Posted November 7, 2020 (edited) 8 hours ago, The Quim Reaper said: Lots of rule stuff... Just using this for the quote to happen really... Submitted. Believe that they all fit. Edited November 7, 2020 by Dying Probably edited quote 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
time 8,597 Posted November 8, 2020 I've submitted an entry; I found it harder than I'd anticipated, as one or two names I considered had health issues that disqualified them (and one was even too old). Considering my record of deadpooling, I'm sure most of them will out-live me. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toast 16,132 Posted November 8, 2020 "I will choose 4 other posters (of a varied demographic) to PM and ask if they know who the pick is. If there’s more than one ‘no’ (including from me), your pick is not allowed." A question: Will you require the picks to be recognisable by name only? Or will you add an explanation which might elicit an "Oh, that guy" reaction? I'm just thinking that actors, musicians etc are often quite familiar without having immediate name recognition. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TQR 14,386 Posted November 8, 2020 Just now, Toast said: "I will choose 4 other posters (of a varied demographic) to PM and ask if they know who the pick is. If there’s more than one ‘no’ (including from me), your pick is not allowed." A question: Will you require the picks to be recognisable by name only? Or will you add an explanation which might elicit an "Oh, that guy" reaction? I'm just thinking that actors, musicians etc are often quite familiar without having immediate name recognition. Yes, I’ll qualify each name with what they’re famous for (providing, of course, the picker does). 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toast 16,132 Posted November 8, 2020 1 minute ago, The Quim Reaper said: Yes, I’ll qualify each name with what they’re famous for (providing, of course, the picker does). Thanks, that's fair. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TQR 14,386 Posted November 8, 2020 Worth saying I’ve PM’d my team to Dying Probably. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dying Probably 578 Posted November 8, 2020 6 minutes ago, The Quim Reaper said: Worth saying I’ve PM’d my team to Dying Probably. Yep - I think it looks fine. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BuffaloPhil 926 Posted November 8, 2020 I've submitted a team. Hope it's OK! 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bibliogryphon 9,571 Posted November 8, 2020 Have submitted a team Thanks for running 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Spade_Cooley 9,515 Posted November 8, 2020 Got a team together but... one of the picks has a disputed date of birth. Wikipedia says one thing, Britannica says something else. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
En Passant 3,741 Posted November 8, 2020 22 hours ago, The Quim Reaper said: And finally, if you dare submit a single Famous For Being Ill pick (which of course would grossly contravene at least one of these rules), not only will you be instantly banned from entering this pool but I will dedicate the rest of my life to persecuting you mercilessly in what will be one of the most poisonous vendettas of all time. Ahahahahahahahahahaha. And indeed, hahahahahahaha. Good game sir! Might give this a go, since research is limited and that part is right up my alley. I'll mail one when I get my arse in gear. 1 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Spade_Cooley 9,515 Posted November 8, 2020 9 minutes ago, Spade_Cooley said: Got a team together but... one of the picks has a disputed date of birth. Wikipedia says one thing, Britannica says something else. Double-checked this. Mary Quant was born in 1930, although for a long time she claimed a 1934 DOB. So Mary Quant is ineligible for this game. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toast 16,132 Posted November 8, 2020 4 minutes ago, Spade_Cooley said: Double-checked this. Mary Quant was born in 1930, although for a long time she claimed a 1934 DOB. So Mary Quant is ineligible for this game. Spookily I checked her out about five minutes ago! Anyway just sent my Quantless team in. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
msc 18,439 Posted November 8, 2020 Quant is 90 and going by recent media very frail these days so likely a good punt in other 2021 games. Just not this one! 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Grim Up North 3,725 Posted November 8, 2020 I've had a punt. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TQR 14,386 Posted November 8, 2020 Really encouraged by the great entries so far! We have our first name out of bounds due to being picked 3 times in Gorbachev. As I say, I’ll update as we go. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RoverAndOut 4,746 Posted November 8, 2020 I'm intending to submit a team, just ruminating on some options - it's trickier than you think and I can guarantee I'll end up picking someone who's had a health scare I wasn't aware of. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
msc 18,439 Posted November 8, 2020 On 07/11/2020 at 15:22, The Quim Reaper said: Disallowed Picks Below are picks I’ve disallowed for breaching either health or fame rules: Desmond Tutu Olivia Newton-John Ted Turner Willie Mays Derek Draper Alice Munro Alfred Brendel Many of these are self-explanatory but if you've got a moment, maybe say why some were rejected. Basically, if Alice Munro has hitherto unknown to me Stage IV cancer that'd be useful info for my DDP team. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TQR 14,386 Posted November 8, 2020 7 minutes ago, msc said: Many of these are self-explanatory but if you've got a moment, maybe say why some were rejected. Basically, if Alice Munro has hitherto unknown to me Stage IV cancer that'd be useful info for my DDP team. Sure. For a reasonable fee, I’ll release that information EDIT: Now marked with an ‘H’ or ‘F’ for Health DQ and Fame DQ. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Joey Russ 7,220 Posted November 8, 2020 What’s the ruling on COPD names? Are they auto DQ’d or is there a timeline they need to be on? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TQR 14,386 Posted November 8, 2020 Just now, Joey Russ said: What’s the ruling on COPD names? Are they auto DQ’d or is there a timeline they need to be on? DQ’d, on the basis that it’s another degenerative illness that’ll ultimately kill them. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Joey Russ 7,220 Posted November 8, 2020 I’m a bit surprised that Ted Turner was DQ’d for fame reasons, though regardless he does have Lewy Body’s Dementia so he wouldn’t have been accepted regardless I think 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
