dead Joe Longthorne

[Windsor 2,233]

Yes football fan as I look in the mirror I did realise something, We just bought Manchester United........So well finance it get back our investment$$$$$ charge the fans extra entry fees, and if it doesnt work you can repo the team ( Oh Well)

That must be the worst come back I've ever heard.

[Guest P Daniel]

Hey Bruno I got to ask this who will give a F--k WHEN YOU DIE?????? This guy has a recorded voice.......You must be a real winner do yourself a favour look in the mirror and see if you see youre life dissipation light is  flashing??? If you even have the intellect to understand what I mean ( that should require at least a 3 digit IQ so I guess that counts you out sorry)

 

oh yes ps Greetings from the USA

Adolf Hitler has a recorded voice.

Harold Shipman was on telly.

Nobody gave a S**t when they died.

 

PS. I hear your doing not too badly for yourselves in the colonies. Even though you are unable to govern yourselves properly. (It requires a leader with IQ of at least 3 numbers, sorry).

As they wont when you die ( Ps Im originally from over there, that would be Television your'e refering to. Also you are correct we do really well over here despite youre comments, Oh thats right you must earn a fortune over there? and the socialised medicine must be working like a charm.....( how does it go lets treat the symptom not the cure?) Yes Ive got it now, no wonder your,e a frequent visitor of this site, its the norm to you, too sad and Ok!

[Guest P Daniel]

Yes football fan as I look in the mirror I did realise something, We just bought Manchester United........So well finance it get back our investment$$$$$ charge the fans extra entry fees, and if it doesnt work you can repo the team ( Oh Well)

That must be the worst come back I've ever heard.

But every word the truth!

[Harvester Of Souls 40]

Didn't understand a word of the two posts above... damn absinthe...

[Windsor 2,233]

As they wont when you die ( Ps Im originally from over there, that would be Television your'e refering to. Also you are correct we do really well over here despite youre comments, Oh thats right you must earn a fortune over there? and the socialised medicine must be working like a charm.....( how does it go lets treat the symptom not the cure?) Yes Ive got it now, no wonder your,e a frequent visitor of this site, its the norm to you, too sad and Ok!

Ok, that is now the worst come back I've ever heard.

[Captain Oates 21]

Didn't understand a word of the two posts above... damn absinthe...

I didn't understand any of it either.

 

Not quite sure where the absinthe comes in to it, but it sounds like a good idea under the circumstances.

[Harvester Of Souls 40]

Didn't understand a word of the two posts above... damn absinthe...

I didn't understand any of it either.

 

Not quite sure where the absinthe comes in to it, but it sounds like a good idea under the circumstances.

Absinthe usually features in these late night visits to the boards... wine sometimes... anything to settle the days events...

 

If it reads as total bollocks without absinthe then it must be really hard going.

[Tempus Fugit 214]

.

[Anubis the Jackal 77]

Longthorne memorabilia on Ebay

 

A perfect Christmas gift for the Longthorne fanatic in your life.

[Canadian Paul 97]

Is he famous in the UK? I've never heard of him. If he is, here's another random artist, submitted for your consideration:

 

Don Ho recovering from experimental heart surgery

 

I know who he is, never heard any of his music.

[Anubis the Jackal 77]

Is he famous in the UK? I've never heard of him. If he is, here's another random artist, submitted for your consideration:

 

Don Ho recovering from experimental heart surgery

 

I know who he is, never heard any of his music.

Not so much famous, more like an annoying bluebottle buzzing round your room when you want to sleep.

 

Don Ho...Now you're talking!

[Godot 149]

Mild curiosity brought me here because I have never heard of Joe Longthorne. Having looked him up on the web and found his site I have still never heard of him. As far as I can see he is famous for having cancer and singing. Eva Peron could do that, and, I have no doubt, a mite better than Mr Longinthetooth.

[Paul Bearer 6,101]

Mild curiosity brought me here because I have never heard of Joe Longthorne. Having looked him up on the web and found his site I have still never heard of him. As far as I can see he is famous for having cancer and singing. Eva Peron could do that, and, I have no doubt, a mite better than Mr Longinthetooth.

I think Joe has been a B-list celeb for quite a while now, but he will definitely get an obit.

[Tempus Fugit 214]

Mild curiosity brought me here because I have never heard of Joe Longthorne. Having looked him up on the web and found his site I have still never heard of him. As far as I can see he is famous for having cancer and singing. Eva Peron could do that, and, I have no doubt, a mite better than Mr Longinthetooth.

I think Joe has been a B-list celeb for quite a while now, but he will definitely get an obit.

He certainly would, he'd also probably get a repeat of his ITV show.

 

But Longthorne is apparently recovering and is touring in '06.

 

So unless he has a major relapse, not a good bet.

[kath 0]

Let me know when he's completely dead. Before then I really can't be bothered with the talentless swain (or would that be swine?).

I have to say that, that comment you made on Joe Longthorne is outstanding in it's own field. Obviously you've listened to him a lot to know that he's talentless, so, I was just wondering, why it is that you would be listening to him so much, if he is the "talentless swine" you say he is? Or maybe I could be completely wrong and you haven't listened to him at all, and have just made a comment like that because..... oh I don't know, maybe you're just a small minded, intellectually challenged, sick moronic fool, who just thinks comments like that are amusing. well maybe they are, to morons like you, but to others, i'd say it's an insult, especially to the millions of fans he has around the world (quite good for a talentless swine wouldn't you say, so many fans can't be wrong, unless you're the voice of a nation, which i doubt because you can't even spell swine first time) and of course his family, who are all worried and praying he recovers. So if I may suggest just 2 things to you, firstly, learn to spell before you insult and secondly get a life since you don't seem to have one or you wouldn't be on here wishing death on people would you? well, thanks for the comment you made, you've shown myself and all Joe fans that there are true idiots out there and you seem to be one of the biggest idiots so far, so at least you're good at something, even if it isn't tactfulness or caring or spelling for that matter. Now why don't you run along and play with traffic you sick fool.

[M Busby Airlines 7]

Thats not the first time BB has been outstanding in a field.

Mind you the fine was only 50$,and the sheep didnt want to press charges.

[football_fan 42]

Let me know when he's completely dead. Before then I really can't be bothered with the talentless swain (or would that be swine?).

I have to say that, that comment you made on Joe Longthorne is outstanding in it's own field. Obviously you've listened to him a lot to know that he's talentless, so, I was just wondering, why it is that you would be listening to him so much, if he is the "talentless swine" you say he is? Or maybe I could be completely wrong and you haven't listened to him at all, and have just made a comment like that because..... oh I don't know, maybe you're just a small minded, intellectually challenged, sick moronic fool, who just thinks comments like that are amusing. well maybe they are, to morons like you, but to others, i'd say it's an insult, especially to the millions of fans he has around the world (quite good for a talentless swine wouldn't you say, so many fans can't be wrong, unless you're the voice of a nation, which i doubt because you can't even spell swine first time) and of course his family, who are all worried and praying he recovers. So if I may suggest just 2 things to you, firstly, learn to spell before you insult and secondly get a life since you don't seem to have one or you wouldn't be on here wishing death on people would you? well, thanks for the comment you made, you've shown myself and all Joe fans that there are true idiots out there and you seem to be one of the biggest idiots so far, so at least you're good at something, even if it isn't tactfulness or caring or spelling for that matter. Now why don't you run along and play with traffic you sick fool.

We have got ourselves a ranter as our newest member. Welcome to the DL forum kath.

[deadonmyfeet 0]

I once had the displeasure of meeting Joe Longthorne in around 2000/2001. I worked not far from a theatre where he was appearing.

 

I have not met many "celebrities" but he has to be the weirdest one yet.

 

He was dirty and scruffy - wearing a large fur coat (That had seen better days) and wearing large and ugly jewellery that looked like it had come out of a christmas cracker! He was with an older lady (who I assume was his mother/agent) who was dressed in the same way, (She looked very much like Joeys agent in Friends). She spoke to him like a small child the whole time. They was something very odd about the way they spoke to each other, like they were performing all the time.

 

If I didn't know who he was, I would have thought he was a tramp.

 

 

I have just read this post through and it doesn't sound very interesting - but hey, I'm going to post it anyway!

[deathwatch 0]

What a voiciferous (if stupid) lot these Joe Longthorne fans are!

 

I've never heard so many mutters since I pushed in the front of the queue at the Post Office last giro day!

 

"Haven't you lot got anything better to do than talk about the death of...." blah blah blah.

 

Right at the moment, "no".

[kath 0]

Thinking hard about something he has done memorable!!!

 

No, it's gone!! Can't think of one thing he has done.

 

Looks like I'll never get a live performance from him to judge his talent.

 

 

you will have chance to see the great joe longthorne live and well at the grand theatre blackpool

 

on 16/17th april ill be there along with his large army of fans. hope you're live and well and

 

can attend.

 

kath.

[Tempus Fugit 214]

you will have chance to see the great joe longthorne live and well at the grand theatre blackpool

 

on 16/17th april ill be there along with his large army of fans. hope you're live and well and

 

can attend.

 

kath.

 

Joe Longthorne is a Chicken-in-a-Basket entertainer, nothing more.

 

If I was there I'd definitely be ill after listening to that shite.

[TLC 9]

Blimey, who'd have thought Joe Longthorne discussions would produce such vitriol and controversy? I'm glad somebody added to this thread recently or else I might have missed it!

 

As far as I remember, he was on the TV quite a lot when I was a kid, doing spectacular song/impression combinations that were pretty accurate impression wise, although memory fades with time. I thought Jim Davidson was funny when I was a kid, before I grew up and realised he wasn't actually a comedian.

 

Don't get me wrong, that doesn't mean I would go to see Mr Longthorne even if you paid for my ticket and my own personal jet pack to get there, but each to their own etc. To me, he's talented in the same way that the Lighthouse Family are 'talented'. Just because they can play their instruments fairly well and sing in tune, doesn't mean by default that you have to appreciate them......

 

I do love the ranters, who despite having some spectacular grammatical issues when making their heartfelt posts, always seem to unerringly hit upon the same themes: -

 

Theme 1. get offended by people talking flippantly about death.

Theme 2. defend their favoured pop star/actor/dictator by listing all of the success they've had, especially compared to members of this site saying unpleasant things about them.

 

Answer 1. It's a deathlist site. Wanting people to die is generally not because you want real physical harm to come to them (there are exceptions of course, especially amongst dictators) but because the game is pretty pointless otherwise. No-one is actually hiring hit men to help, although Clint Eastwood may disagree there.

 

Answer 2. For the love of Brian Cant, everybody has their favourite actors etc., and ones they don't like. Pointing out to me that Ace of Base or other similar pap sold millions of records won't suddenly make me say 'my god, they must be good then!' Equating popular and good, that way madness lies.

 

For the record, I personally think Joe Longthorne is a C minus, but I don't actually want him to die. People have made wagers on people likely to die anyway (he has had cancer on and off for years), so you're bound to get people saying 'when is he going to go, he's long overdue' and the like.

 

My word, I've just committed a massive rant, as much as I tried to make a point to it. Apologies all, I do realise it will solve precisely nothing. The magic of Joe is still in the air, evidently.

[Harvester Of Souls 40]

£20 for four tickets sounds okay. Does buying in multiples bring the price down to £17?

[millwall32 114]

 

you will have chance to see the great joe longthorne live and well at the grand theatre blackpool

 

on 16/17th april ill be there along with his large army of fans. hope you're live and well and

 

can attend.

 

kath.

 

Joe Longthorne is a Chicken-in-a-Basket entertainer, nothing more.

 

If I was there I'd definitely be ill after listening to that shite.

I disagree. he is actually quite a good singer, if a little melodramatic.

Nice to see his thread reactivated though.

[maryportfuncity 10,645]

Nobody, but nobody does chicken in a basket anymore, do they?

 

I mean, even in West Cumbria it's so 1970s, And we've only got one gay pub!