Toast 16,155 Posted December 5, 2019 There's even a book that takes as its title the punchline of another version The joke is on pages 159/160 of the preview. A search for "tundra" should find it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,657 Posted December 5, 2019 2 hours ago, Toast said: There's even a book that takes as its title the punchline of another version The joke is on pages 159/160 of the preview. A search for "tundra" should find it. Aye, funny all round I posted a joke on the Jimmy Savile thread which I'd found on Sickipedia about tribute bands a few days back. Told a couple of people the same joke since when I've heard various versions of the same idea with slightly different wording; my favourite version so far being... I was in this covers band called Savile's Jiz We mainly covered The Specials 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sir Creep 7,070 Posted December 6, 2019 6 hours ago, Toast said: There's even a book that takes as its title the punchline of another version The joke is on pages 159/160 of the preview. A search for "tundra" should find it. Hey - Tim Moore was a Deathlist Cup death this year (belated). Different chap. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,657 Posted December 6, 2019 14 hours ago, Sir Creep said: Hey - Tim Moore was a Deathlist Cup death this year (belated). Different chap. And not to be confused with the one described as a "polymath" on his Wikipedia page - he wrote a Bay City Rollers hit too! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tim_Moore_(singer-songwriter) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bladan 293 Posted December 7, 2019 On 04/12/2019 at 09:12, Paul Bearer said: Out of curiosity, what age are you? Bladan has no age. There's no bladan. Read Advaita Vedanta, spend a decade or two meditating in Tibet, then get spanked by a wild bunch of nuns. Then have your money stolen and then repeat that question 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Redrumours 861 Posted December 8, 2019 A bloke at the zoo asks keeper have you got any speaking parrots? no says the keeper, but we've got a woodpecker who knows morse code! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
msc 18,480 Posted January 4, 2020 Surprised one of the all time great crap jokes hasn't been shared on here before (and I searched): Why was George Michael covered in chocolate? Careless Wispas. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
time 8,623 Posted January 4, 2020 15 minutes ago, msc said: Surprised one of the all time great crap jokes hasn't been shared on here before (and I searched): Why was George Michael covered in chocolate? Careless Wispas. You never searched in the right places... (or for 'Whispa') On 14/10/2009 at 07:49, Josco said: And still more..... Apparently George Michael was involved in the death of Stephen Gately. Stephen was found dead with a bar of chocolate stuck up his arse, police have said it was a careless Whispa* Definitely going now. *A brand of Chocolate (Cadbury's I think) On 15/09/2010 at 21:41, Paul Bearer said: George was discovered with a chocolate bar inserted up his rectum in prison this morning. Speculation is that it was just a careless Whispa. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
msc 18,480 Posted January 4, 2020 1 minute ago, time said: You never searched in the right places... (or for 'Whispa') I'm not responsible for Paul's crap spelling! (although I did look up Whispa, so he's in the clear and its the shit search to blame.) Anyhow, timeless! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
time 8,623 Posted January 4, 2020 1 minute ago, msc said: I'm not responsible for Paul's crap spelling! (although I did look up Whispa, so he's in the clear and its the shit search to blame.) Anyhow, timeless! No, still here, Blame Josco, we haven't heard from him for years. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Deathray 2,941 Posted January 4, 2020 3 minutes ago, time said: No, still here, Blame Josco, we haven't heard from him for years. Posted in Feb 2017, but visited in March 2018..... So not quite not heard from him for years plural. I'll take the pedantic cunt award for a tenner please. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
time 8,623 Posted January 4, 2020 3 minutes ago, Kinnock said: Posted in Feb 2017, but visited in March 2018..... So not quite not heard from him for years plural. I'll take the pedantic cunt award for a tenner please. One could argue that a visit without posting isn't hearing from him, and that 1 year and almost 11 months is greater than one, so therefore plural. But I won't. Enjoy your tenner 1 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Deathray 2,941 Posted January 5, 2020 What's the difference between a spastic and a vegetable? You can cook a vegetable, spastics brains are already fried. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Deathray 2,941 Posted January 5, 2020 Really is forum censoring N-word now? When did we become soft-cunts? @Paul Bearer i thought you fixed the swear filter? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
runebomme 377 Posted January 8, 2020 A vampire walks into a bar, 'pint of blood landlord' he says. The barman gives him his order. A second vampire walks into the bar, 'pint of your finest blood please' he says. Again, the barman pours his order. A third vampire walks into the bar and says 'a mug of hot water please barman'. The barman looks puzzled at the vampire, and asks- 'why the f*** do you want hot water for?' The vampire answered- 'i found a used tampon and i'm making tea'. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
runebomme 377 Posted January 8, 2020 what did the lepper tell the prostitute after he had shot his bolt? keep the tip Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
runebomme 377 Posted January 8, 2020 Paddy and Murphy fancy a Pint but only have a euro between them. Paddy goes off and buys a sausage. Murphy says are You mad? Now we're skint! Come on says Paddy follow Me. They go into the pub order two pints and drink them before they pay. Paddy shoves the Sausage through the zipper of his Jeans and tells Murphy to get down on his Knee's and suck it. The Barman goes berserk and throws them out. 10 pubs and 10 pints later Murphy says.. 'I cant do this any more, my Knees are sore and I'm pissed. How do you think I feel? Says Paddy, I can't even remember which Pub I lost the Sausage in!? 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sir Creep 7,070 Posted January 20, 2020 The son of the founder of a bagel dynasty in London admitted to killing his mother and sister, after deciding his defence was full of holes. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
runebomme 377 Posted January 20, 2020 6 hours ago, Sir Creep said: The son of the founder of a bagel dynasty in London admitted to killing his mother and sister, after deciding his defence was full of holes. at least he did not sell pretzels Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TQR 14,405 Posted January 29, 2020 What a shame they called it the ‘Coronavirus’. They missed a golden opportunity to call it ‘Kung Flu’. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,657 Posted February 24, 2020 I wonder if my Vets receptionist realises how many peoples passwords she knows? 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Grim Up North 3,727 Posted March 2, 2020 Went to my first camouflage swingers party last night. Everyone threw their khakis into a bowl. 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
runebomme 377 Posted March 7, 2020 why did god invent Jamesons Whiskey So the Irish would never rule the world Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TQR 14,405 Posted March 19, 2020 In Germany, people are preparing for the Corona crisis by stocking up on sausages and cheese. That’s the würst käse scenario. 2 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
