maryportfuncity 10,646 Posted March 20, 2021 Did some live online comedy with the Voice of Young Maryport tonight A few rib-ticklers to share Dylan (one name comedian) - "Yeah, I'm both gay and dysphraxic - so I'll suck you off but I might also rip it off!" Mark Nelson - "Hands, face, space...three places Neil Armstrong definitely ejaculated!" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,646 Posted March 26, 2021 I saw a homeless man in a cemetery, kneeling in front of a grave. I said "Morning!" He said, "nah, just taking a shit." 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bentrovato 1,088 Posted March 26, 2021 What do you call a chicken in a shellsuit? An Egg. One for the scousers and mancs. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Redrumours 861 Posted March 26, 2021 2 hours ago, Bentrovato said: What do you call a chicken in a shellsuit? An Egg. One for the scousers and mancs. Another for scousers.Think you've all heard this one but anyway. What do scousers call "Silence of the lambs"? Shut up ewes. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
torbrexbones 717 Posted April 4, 2021 New Pyramid Discovered 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,646 Posted April 4, 2021 Okay, nicked from the obvious place but actually made me laugh I just went to the doctors. I said, “doc, my penis looks like an overpriced Leather purse”. “Ahh yes”, he replied, “it’s Prada Willy syndrome”. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TQR 14,398 Posted April 11, 2021 No man is an island, though this man is close. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Phantom 2,533 Posted April 14, 2021 Yesterday was a beautiful, sunny spring day, and me and some friends were driving through Wales. At Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyllllantysiliogogogoch we stopped for lunch and I asked the waitress: “Before we order, I wonder if you could settle an argument for us. Can you pronounce where we are, very, very, very slowly?” The girl leaned over and said: “Burrr… gurrr… King.” 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MoneySavingExpt 43 Posted April 15, 2021 Where did they bury the Geordie Ramones fan? In a Pet Sematary Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
En Passant 3,741 Posted April 15, 2021 On 15/04/2021 at 15:55, MoneySavingExpt said: Where did they bury the Geordie Ramones fan? In a Pet Sematary So Martin, exactly how long have you lived in Fracne (sic)? Edit: Some days later Martin realises and changes it to France. Which whilst an actual country, is still untrue. Damn socks. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,218 Posted June 23, 2021 BREAKING: Poland fans have gone on the rampage ahead of their game in the Euros. So far 60 cars have been completely valeted. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RIP Wee Jum 1,559 Posted July 1, 2021 My friend Jim Apple has a right bother introducing himself in France. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
time 8,605 Posted July 16, 2021 GB News emergency board meeting 1 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Phantom 2,533 Posted July 16, 2021 On 15/04/2021 at 09:55, MoneySavingExpt said: Where did they bury the Geordie Ramones fan? In a Pet Sematary Wouldn't that be "In a semetary, pet"? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
