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2 hours ago, Toast said:

There's even a book that takes as its title the punchline of another version

 

6173dFLFycL._SX307_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg

 

The joke is on pages 159/160 of the preview.  A search for "tundra" should find it.

 

 

Aye, funny all round

 

I posted a joke on the Jimmy Savile thread which I'd found on Sickipedia about tribute bands a few days back. Told a couple of people the same joke since when I've heard various versions of the same idea with slightly different wording; my favourite version so far being...

 

I was in this covers band called Savile's Jiz

 

We mainly covered The Specials

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6 hours ago, Toast said:

There's even a book that takes as its title the punchline of another version

 

6173dFLFycL._SX307_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg

 

The joke is on pages 159/160 of the preview.  A search for "tundra" should find it.


Hey - Tim Moore was a Deathlist Cup death this year (belated).   Different chap.

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14 hours ago, Sir Creep said:


Hey - Tim Moore was a Deathlist Cup death this year (belated).   Different chap.

 

 

And not to be confused with the one described as a "polymath" on his Wikipedia page - he wrote a Bay City Rollers hit too!

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tim_Moore_(singer-songwriter)

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On 04/12/2019 at 09:12, Paul Bearer said:

Out of curiosity, what age are you? 

Bladan has no age. There's no bladan. Read Advaita Vedanta, spend a decade or two meditating in Tibet, then get spanked by a wild bunch of nuns. Then have your money stolen and then repeat that question

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A bloke at the zoo asks keeper have you got any speaking parrots? no says the keeper, but we've got a woodpecker who knows morse code!

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Surprised one of the all time great crap jokes hasn't been shared on here before (and I searched):

 

 

Why was George Michael covered in chocolate?

Careless Wispas.

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15 minutes ago, msc said:

Surprised one of the all time great crap jokes hasn't been shared on here before (and I searched):

 

 

Why was George Michael covered in chocolate?

Careless Wispas.

 

 

 

You never searched in the right places... (or for 'Whispa') :P

On 14/10/2009 at 07:49, Josco said:

And still more.....

 

Apparently George Michael was involved in the death of Stephen Gately. Stephen was found dead with a bar of chocolate stuck up his arse, police have said it was a careless Whispa*

 

 

Definitely going now.

 

 

 

 

 

*A brand of Chocolate (Cadbury's I think)

 

On 15/09/2010 at 21:41, Paul Bearer said:

 

George was discovered with a chocolate bar inserted up his

rectum in prison this morning. Speculation is that it was just a careless Whispa.

 

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1 minute ago, time said:

 

 

 

You never searched in the right places... (or for 'Whispa') :P

 

 

 

I'm not responsible for Paul's crap spelling! (although I did look up Whispa, so he's in the clear and its the shit search to blame.)

 

Anyhow, timeless!

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1 minute ago, msc said:

 

I'm not responsible for Paul's crap spelling! (although I did look up Whispa, so he's in the clear and its the shit search to blame.)

 

Anyhow, timeless!

No, still here, ;)

 

Blame Josco, we haven't heard from him for years.

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3 minutes ago, time said:

No, still here, ;)

 

Blame Josco, we haven't heard from him for years.

 

Posted in Feb 2017, but visited in March 2018.....

 

So not quite not heard from him for years plural.

 

I'll take the pedantic cunt award for a tenner please.

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3 minutes ago, Kinnock said:

 

Posted in Feb 2017, but visited in March 2018.....

 

So not quite not heard from him for years plural.

 

I'll take the pedantic cunt award for a tenner please.

 

One could argue that a visit without posting isn't hearing from him, and that 1 year and  almost 11 months is greater than one, so therefore plural. But I won't. Enjoy your tenner :P

 

See the source image

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What's the difference between a spastic and a vegetable?

 

You can cook a vegetable, spastics brains are already fried.

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Really is forum censoring N-word now?

 

When did we become soft-cunts?

 

@Paul Bearer i thought you fixed the swear filter?

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A vampire walks into a bar, 'pint of blood landlord' he says. The barman gives him his order.
A second vampire walks into the bar, 'pint of your finest blood please' he says. Again, the barman pours his order.
A third vampire walks into the bar and says 'a mug of hot water please barman'. The barman looks puzzled at the vampire, and asks- 'why the f*** do you want hot water for?' The vampire answered- 'i found a used tampon and i'm making tea'.

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what did the lepper tell the prostitute after he had shot his bolt?
keep the tip

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Paddy and Murphy fancy a Pint but only have a euro between them. Paddy goes off and buys a sausage.

Murphy says are You mad?

Now we're skint! Come on says Paddy follow Me.

They go into the pub order two pints and drink them before they pay. Paddy shoves the Sausage through the zipper of his Jeans and tells Murphy to get down on his Knee's and suck it.

The Barman goes berserk and throws them out.
10 pubs and 10 pints later Murphy says..
'I cant do this any more, my Knees are sore and I'm pissed.

How do you think I feel? Says Paddy, I can't even remember which Pub I lost the Sausage in!?

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What a shame they called it the ‘Coronavirus’.

 

They missed a golden opportunity to call it ‘Kung Flu’.

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I wonder if my Vets receptionist realises how many peoples passwords she knows?

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Went to my first camouflage swingers party last night.

 

Everyone threw their khakis into a bowl.

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why did god invent Jamesons Whiskey

 

So the Irish would never rule the world

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In Germany, people are preparing for the Corona crisis by stocking up on sausages and cheese.

 

That’s the würst käse scenario.

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304683316_coviddogmask.jpg.bb783ed3f3986ddedc77fb8d99bdf948.jpg

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