Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Nun in the bath, knock on the door ‘it’s the blind man’ a voice calls out.

 

Nun thinks ‘that’s ok he can’t see me’ ’ok come in’ she calls.

 

Man walks in ‘nice tits love, I’ve come to hang your blinds’. 

  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

And two more from the same vintage

 

Two nuns on a cycle ride through an old city

One -  I've never come this way before

Other - Nor me, it must be the cobblestones...

 

Definition of temptation - a nun doing press-ups in a cucumber field

  • Like 1
  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

How do you get a nun pregnant?

Dress her up as an alter boy.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Heres a fairly old one:

 

A woman finds someone on tinder and invites him round to hers. The doorbell rang and she answered the door to find a man with no arms or legs on the floor. 

 

"Are you my date?" She asks, to which he replies "yes".

 

"Ok," she says, "I guess it could work but but how do I know if you're any good in bed?"

 

He replies "How do you think I rang the doorbell?"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

118557143_3773004999394990_7251954145754369144_n.jpg

  • Haha 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I got a job at the local bakery,I kneed Ed the dough.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ok, this Catturd is a Trumper & not everybody will like him, but nobody who opens a thread with thousand fart jokes can be a truly bad human being.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
14 minutes ago, ThePrematureBurial said:

Ok, this Catturd is a Trumper & not everybody will like him, but nobody who opens a thread with thousand fart jokes can be a truly bad human being.

 

 

 

T'internet suggests the following is a contender:

 

Yo momma so poor that when she farted she said clap your hands stomp your feet praise to the lord we have heat.

  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
13 hours ago, ThePrematureBurial said:

Ok, this Catturd is a Trumper & not everybody will like him, but nobody who opens a thread with thousand fart jokes can be a truly bad human being.

 

4 gay men are in a hot tub. All of a sudden, a condom comes afloat and one of the gay men says to the others 'Ok who farted?'

  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What do you call a deaf gynaecologist?

 

A lip-reader

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

How do you get a nun pregnant?

 

Get an altar boy to fart on her pussy

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, Kenny McCormick said:

How do you get a nun pregnant?

 

Get an altar boy to fart on her pussy

 

Are you sure you're not 12?

  • Like 2
  • Haha 2
  • Sad 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Toast said:

 

Are you sure you're not 12?

Aw man... :(

 

Just as I thought I'd found a funny as well...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Without Arabians, 9/11 wouldnt exist. Instead it would've been called IX/XI

 

Why was 10 always afraid?

He was in the middle of 9/11

 

9/11 victims are amazing readers. They went through 96 stories in the matter of seconds!

 

Proof that 9/11 wasnt a government plot: It actually fucking worked!

 

Have you ever had a 9/11 threeway?

Its when two twins go down on you

 

Happy 9/11 everyone!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Christmas trees are very similar to Amy Winehouse, when they die they leave fucking needles everywhere

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5 minutes ago, Kenny McCormick said:

Christmas trees are very similar to Mary Winehouse, when they die they leave fucking needles everywhere

Who's Mary Winehouse? 

  • Like 1
  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5 minutes ago, Paul Bearer said:

Who's Mary Winehouse? 


Obviously the honourable member for Milton Keynes means Mary Whitehouse. Absolute junkie, she was.

 

0E7AF2BA-35BB-4F56-8476-4D0DDE013DBA.jpeg.254b8fabd6911777243718698790aaad.jpeg

  • Like 1
  • Haha 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, The Quim Reaper said:


Obviously the honourable member for Milton Keynes means Mary Whitehouse. Absolute junkie, she was.

 

0E7AF2BA-35BB-4F56-8476-4D0DDE013DBA.jpeg.254b8fabd6911777243718698790aaad.jpeg

Nah, she just had a mind like a sewer.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5 hours ago, Paul Bearer said:

Who's Mary Winehouse? 

AMY... Fugin' autocorrect! 

 

5 hours ago, The Quim Reaper said:


Obviously the honourable member for Milton Keynes means Mary Whitehouse. Absolute junkie, she was.

 

0E7AF2BA-35BB-4F56-8476-4D0DDE013DBA.jpeg.254b8fabd6911777243718698790aaad.jpeg

I dont live in Milton Keynes...

  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

119487916_2783773441868447_3993773515571

  • Haha 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

×

Important Information

Your use of this forum is subject to our Terms of Use