Room 101

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,219]

Obese people.

Im not talking about the rotund, slightly chubby ( and you can shut the f**k up Lardy, you are twiggy compared to the monsters Ive been seeing these past two weeks...) Im talking about the humungeously fat fucks that waddle around like they have just papped themselves because their legs can barely support their weight.

They go on Holiday, as I just have ( ...and dont ask as a punch on the throat may offend ...) and proceed to eat the whole of the breakfasts, including, I assume, the cuttlery and plates. They then go back, a matter of a few hours later, and eat all of the lunch and, good grief, they are back, yet again, a few hours later to eat all the fucking dinner.

All of this, naturally, is washed down with lashings of local beer and, it must be said, plenty of fooking chips and the like, in between.

You would have assumed that it was hardly possible to be so utterly grotesque but, oh no, trust me, these people are absolutely fucking epic.

It HAS got worse and, not often I say it, the Doctors are right, obesity is a REAL problem, particularly if you have the misfortune to have to sit next to one of the fat fucks on the plane, which is when you find that their body suddenly turns into somesort of amazing semi liquid as it begins to ooze from their seat and into yours, giving you all the space of a hamsters cock up a fleas arsehole.

Rant over....for now.

PS: RA, will message you back anon!!

[Rotten Ali 600]

Obese people.

Im not talking about the rotund, slightly chubby ( and you can shut the f**k up Lardy, you are twiggy compared to the monsters Ive been seeing these past two weeks...) Im talking about the humungeously fat fucks that waddle around like they have just papped themselves because their legs can barely support their weight.

They go on Holiday, as I just have ( ...and dont ask as a punch on the throat may offend ...) and proceed to eat the whole of the breakfasts, including, I assume, the cuttlery and plates. They then go back, a matter of a few hours later, and eat all of the lunch and, good grief, they are back, yet again, a few hours later to eat all the fucking dinner.

All of this, naturally, is washed down with lashings of local beer and, it must be said, plenty of fooking chips and the like, in between.

You would have assumed that it was hardly possible to be so utterly grotesque but, oh no, trust me, these people are absolutely fucking epic.

It HAS got worse and, not often I say it, the Doctors are right, obesity is a REAL problem, particularly if you have the misfortune to have to sit next to one of the fat fucks on the plane, which is when you find that their body suddenly turns into somesort of amazing semi liquid as it begins to ooze from their seat and into yours, giving you all the space of a hamsters cock up a fleas arsehole.

Rant over....for now.

PS: RA, will message you back anon!!

 

One of the "projects" I've got in hand is the "fat-seat" for airplanes. These super fat people do often some in pairs. Thus there really is the need to remove at least a row of 3-up standard seats and replace them with a special 2-up x "1-and-a-half" seats that can better catter for the extra hip size. Naturally these fat-seats will be placed as far as posible from the exits to aid the survival of the fittest should the need arise.

[honez 79]

the Doctors are right, obesity is a REAL problem, particularly if you have the misfortune to have to sit next to one of the fat fucks on the plane, which is when you find that their body suddenly turns into somesort of amazing semi liquid as it begins to ooze from their seat and into yours, giving you all the space of a hamsters cock up a fleas arsehole.

Rant over....for now.

PS: RA, will message you back anon!!

 

One of the "projects" I've got in hand is the "fat-seat" for airplanes. These super fat people do often some in pairs. Thus there really is the need to remove at least a row of 3-up standard seats and replace them with a special 2-up x "1-and-a-half" seats that can better catter for the extra hip size. Naturally these fat-seats will be placed as far as posible from the exits to aid the survival of the fittest should the need arise.

Think Operation Jumbo Drop. Load 'em onto pallets and shove 'em out the back on final approach. You could even give business class a parachute.

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

Obese people.

Im not talking about the rotund, slightly chubby ( and you can shut the f**k up Lardy, you are twiggy compared to the monsters Ive been seeing these past two weeks...) Im talking about the humungeously fat fucks that waddle around like they have just papped themselves because their legs can barely support their weight.

They go on Holiday, as I just have ( ...and dont ask as a punch on the throat may offend ...) and proceed to eat the whole of the breakfasts, including, I assume, the cuttlery and plates. They then go back, a matter of a few hours later, and eat all of the lunch and, good grief, they are back, yet again, a few hours later to eat all the fucking dinner.

All of this, naturally, is washed down with lashings of local beer and, it must be said, plenty of fooking chips and the like, in between.

You would have assumed that it was hardly possible to be so utterly grotesque but, oh no, trust me, these people are absolutely fucking epic.

It HAS got worse and, not often I say it, the Doctors are right, obesity is a REAL problem, particularly if you have the misfortune to have to sit next to one of the fat fucks on the plane, which is when you find that their body suddenly turns into somesort of amazing semi liquid as it begins to ooze from their seat and into yours, giving you all the space of a hamsters cock up a fleas arsehole.

Rant over....for now.

PS: RA, will message you back anon!!

 

 

Speaking as a total lard-arse (a good two stone more of lard-arse since I met my fellow DLers), I completely agree that fatness is a problem, but the thing that fucks me off the most about it is people that complain that they are fat, that they can't get clothes to fit, that people take the piss out of them, that 'I hardly eat a thing', whilst sitting on the sofa in their jogging bottoms watching The Biggest Loser whilst wolfing down an industrial sized bag of M&Ms. I'm fat and guess what - it's because I eat too much! No funny genes to blame, no medication to blame, I just like food too much, and don't have enough self-control to not eat it, or do any exercise because I'm lazy. People need to start taking responsibility for themselves, or shut the fuck up moaning. Simples. Now, enjoy your afternoon, I'm off to the pictures to scoff popcorn, then on to Frankie and Benny's for a calorie busting meatball tea! Tally ho!

[Toast 16,142]

proceed to eat the whole of the breakfasts, including, I assume, the cuttlery and plates. ^^^^ They then go back, a matter of a few hours later, and eat all of the lunch

 

You missed the bit where they fill up their bags with breakfast rolls to take away for a snack later on.

[Paul Bearer 6,102]

proceed to eat the whole of the breakfasts, including, I assume, the cuttlery and plates. ^^^^ They then go back, a matter of a few hours later, and eat all of the lunch

 

You missed the bit where they fill up their bags with breakfast rolls to take away for a snack later on.

 

And the bit about having a glass of diet coke to help wash it all down.

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,219]

Quite true, I may have missed a few things but, be comforted, they didnt!!

Lardy, you may well be two stones heavier than before but Im talking about considerably more than two stones.

You, at least, are a lovely warm, funny person. They, on the other hand, displayed the personalities of labotomised Goldfish.

I also need to say, and I really, really dont want to but the vast majority of said fat fooks were from North of the border.

One family, in particular, looked like a set of Weebles, their only saving grace being that they were Rangers supporters, thus, having slightly less hatred for the English than normal ( and before anybody says anything, there was at least one example of racial hatred directed to an English person from a Scot while I was there.... which astonished me)

Without taking the rant into a North South divide, which is wrong as much as its pointless, id also like to question the sanity and morality of someone who thinks its perfectly normal to eat baked potatoes for breakfast.

[CarolAnn 926]

... id also like to question the sanity and morality of someone who thinks its perfectly normal to eat baked potatoes for breakfast.

 

Ummmm, I eat baked potatoes for breakfast. Quick, easy, can be done in the microwave and gets me through to lunch. Then again, we've already established that I'm insane and amoral so I guess it's OK.

[Windsor 2,233]

My friend was stuck behind two fatties at McDonalds...two sisters...they were having an argument because one sister told the other that she would only buy her a whopper, not a double whopper, because she wanted them to lose weight...

 

He found that funny.

[Handrejka 1,904]

... id also like to question the sanity and morality of someone who thinks its perfectly normal to eat baked potatoes for breakfast.

 

Ummmm, I eat baked potatoes for breakfast. Quick, easy, can be done in the microwave and gets me through to lunch. Then again, we've already established that I'm insane and amoral so I guess it's OK.

 

I eat crisps for breakfast, don't know what that says about my sanity.

[Memento Mori 12]

... id also like to question the sanity and morality of someone who thinks its perfectly normal to eat baked potatoes for breakfast.

 

Ummmm, I eat baked potatoes for breakfast. Quick, easy, can be done in the microwave and gets me through to lunch. Then again, we've already established that I'm insane and amoral so I guess it's OK.

 

I eat crisps for breakfast, don't know what that says about my sanity.

If you're insane, then I'm more so, as I not only eat crisps, but on toast with brown sauce.

[Paul Bearer 6,102]

... id also like to question the sanity and morality of someone who thinks its perfectly normal to eat baked potatoes for breakfast.

 

Ummmm, I eat baked potatoes for breakfast. Quick, easy, can be done in the microwave and gets me through to lunch. Then again, we've already established that I'm insane and amoral so I guess it's OK.

 

I eat crisps for breakfast, don't know what that says about my sanity.

If you're insane, then I'm more so, as I not only eat crisps, but on toast with brown sauce.

 

Me too, smokey bacon on either a roll or on toast

[Memento Mori 12]

... id also like to question the sanity and morality of someone who thinks its perfectly normal to eat baked potatoes for breakfast.

 

Ummmm, I eat baked potatoes for breakfast. Quick, easy, can be done in the microwave and gets me through to lunch. Then again, we've already established that I'm insane and amoral so I guess it's OK.

 

I eat crisps for breakfast, don't know what that says about my sanity.

If you're insane, then I'm more so, as I not only eat crisps, but on toast with brown sauce.

 

Me too, smokey bacon on either a roll or on toast

I'm a salt and vinegar person, but smokey bacon is good too. Anything but the overrated cheese and onion, which seems to be the default snack food in every pub in the British Isles!

[Paul Bearer 6,102]

... id also like to question the sanity and morality of someone who thinks its perfectly normal to eat baked potatoes for breakfast.

 

Ummmm, I eat baked potatoes for breakfast. Quick, easy, can be done in the microwave and gets me through to lunch. Then again, we've already established that I'm insane and amoral so I guess it's OK.

 

I eat crisps for breakfast, don't know what that says about my sanity.

If you're insane, then I'm more so, as I not only eat crisps, but on toast with brown sauce.

 

Me too, smokey bacon on either a roll or on toast

I'm a salt and vinegar person, but smokey bacon is good too. Anything but the overrated cheese and onion, which seems to be the default snack food in every pub in the British Isles!

 

 

Agreed. There's nothing worse than kissing someone after they've been eating cheese & onion crisps.

[Memento Mori 12]

... id also like to question the sanity and morality of someone who thinks its perfectly normal to eat baked potatoes for breakfast.

 

Ummmm, I eat baked potatoes for breakfast. Quick, easy, can be done in the microwave and gets me through to lunch. Then again, we've already established that I'm insane and amoral so I guess it's OK.

 

I eat crisps for breakfast, don't know what that says about my sanity.

If you're insane, then I'm more so, as I not only eat crisps, but on toast with brown sauce.

 

Me too, smokey bacon on either a roll or on toast

I'm a salt and vinegar person, but smokey bacon is good too. Anything but the overrated cheese and onion, which seems to be the default snack food in every pub in the British Isles!

 

 

Agreed. There's nothing worse than kissing someone after they've been eating cheese & onion crisps.

(Pukes at traumatic memory!) I couldn't agree more!!

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

Quite true, I may have missed a few things but, be comforted, they didnt!!

Lardy, you may well be two stones heavier than before but Im talking about considerably more than two stones.

You, at least, are a lovely warm, funny person. They, on the other hand, displayed the personalities of labotomised Goldfish.

I also need to say, and I really, really dont want to but the vast majority of said fat fooks were from North of the border.

One family, in particular, looked like a set of Weebles, their only saving grace being that they were Rangers supporters, thus, having slightly less hatred for the English than normal ( and before anybody says anything, there was at least one example of racial hatred directed to an English person from a Scot while I was there.... which astonished me)

Without taking the rant into a North South divide, which is wrong as much as its pointless, id also like to question the sanity and morality of someone who thinks its perfectly normal to eat baked potatoes for breakfast.

 

 

HAHA my M&Ms comment above stemmed from a heffer that I used to work with, at least 19 stone, who bewailed the fact that she was a biffer, whilst scoffing M&Ms at her desk - on an early shift we'd go to the canteen for breakfast, and she would have a FRIED POTATO SANDWICH. For fuck's sake.

 

And while we're on the crisp debate - salt and vinegar in a tuna mayo sandwich on white bread.......gert lush inn'um!

[Memento Mori 12]

Quite true, I may have missed a few things but, be comforted, they didnt!!

Lardy, you may well be two stones heavier than before but Im talking about considerably more than two stones.

You, at least, are a lovely warm, funny person. They, on the other hand, displayed the personalities of labotomised Goldfish.

I also need to say, and I really, really dont want to but the vast majority of said fat fooks were from North of the border.

One family, in particular, looked like a set of Weebles, their only saving grace being that they were Rangers supporters, thus, having slightly less hatred for the English than normal ( and before anybody says anything, there was at least one example of racial hatred directed to an English person from a Scot while I was there.... which astonished me)

Without taking the rant into a North South divide, which is wrong as much as its pointless, id also like to question the sanity and morality of someone who thinks its perfectly normal to eat baked potatoes for breakfast.

 

 

HAHA my M&Ms comment above stemmed from a heffer that I used to work with, at least 19 stone, who bewailed the fact that she was a biffer, whilst scoffing M&Ms at her desk - on an early shift we'd go to the canteen for breakfast, and she would have a FRIED POTATO SANDWICH. For fuck's sake.

 

And while we're on the crisp debate - salt and vinegar in a tuna mayo sandwich on white bread.......gert lush inn'um!

Speaking of former work colleagues and their eating habits-I once worked with an overweight lady from Arizona who breakfasted on a half block of cheddar and four pints of milk every morning, she insisted that there was no better cure for a hangover...

[Terminator 13]

Speaking of former work colleagues and their eating habits-I once worked with an overweight lady from Arizona who breakfasted on a half block of cheddar and four pints of milk every morning, she insisted that there was no better cure for a hangover...

 

I do recall a 6ft+ woman at work who was so fat, her hips used to brush each side of the corridor wall when she walked. (I had the misfortune to follow her up a flight of stairs - slowly - while she was wearing tight leggings. it was like two huge sacks of potatoes rubbing against each other.) We all thought she had some glandular/health problems, until someone went into her office at lunchtime. She had a whole cooked chicken on her desk for lunch, after that there was no sympathy for the pig.

[honez 79]

She had a whole cooked chicken on her desk for lunch, after that there was no sympathy for the pig.

She had a pig as well? Jeezus.

[CarolAnn 926]

(Pukes at traumatic memory!) I couldn't agree more!!

 

Kissing a guy who dips snuff is far worse.

[CarolAnn 926]

Quite true, I may have missed a few things but, be comforted, they didnt!!

Lardy, you may well be two stones heavier than before but Im talking about considerably more than two stones.

You, at least, are a lovely warm, funny person. They, on the other hand, displayed the personalities of labotomised Goldfish.

I also need to say, and I really, really dont want to but the vast majority of said fat fooks were from North of the border.

One family, in particular, looked like a set of Weebles, their only saving grace being that they were Rangers supporters, thus, having slightly less hatred for the English than normal ( and before anybody says anything, there was at least one example of racial hatred directed to an English person from a Scot while I was there.... which astonished me)

Without taking the rant into a North South divide, which is wrong as much as its pointless, id also like to question the sanity and morality of someone who thinks its perfectly normal to eat baked potatoes for breakfast.

 

 

HAHA my M&Ms comment above stemmed from a heffer that I used to work with, at least 19 stone, who bewailed the fact that she was a biffer, whilst scoffing M&Ms at her desk - on an early shift we'd go to the canteen for breakfast, and she would have a FRIED POTATO SANDWICH. For fuck's sake.

 

And while we're on the crisp debate - salt and vinegar in a tuna mayo sandwich on white bread.......gert lush inn'um!

Speaking of former work colleagues and their eating habits-I once worked with an overweight lady from Arizona who breakfasted on a half block of cheddar and four pints of milk every morning, she insisted that there was no better cure for a hangover...

 

I used to swear by a Big Mac when I had a hangover. Ironically, I was slender when I used to do that, but I suspect that was because I basically drank and ate Big Macs. I didn't gain weight until I sobered up.

 

Nah, drinking's still not worth it.

[Tuber Mirum 125]

My friend was stuck behind two fatties at McDonalds...two sisters...they were having an argument because one sister told the other that she would only buy her a whopper, not a double whopper, because she wanted them to lose weight...

 

He found that funny.

 

I wonder if they found it funny when they got to the front of the queue and were told that McDonald's doesn't sell Whoppers™?

[Windsor 2,233]

My friend was stuck behind two fatties at McDonalds...two sisters...they were having an argument because one sister told the other that she would only buy her a whopper, not a double whopper, because she wanted them to lose weight...

 

He found that funny.

 

I wonder if they found it funny when they got to the front of the queue and were told that McDonald's doesn't sell Whoppers™?

 

Well then - Burger King, Wimpy or whichever chain the Whopper comes from...

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,219]

Anal retentive moderation.

This is bugging the shit out of me, dunno why, the forum isnt the centre of my universe.

There used to be a time when you could have a good old punch up on here and it wouldnt matter.

Ive had posts pulled recently and im trying to work out what parts of them were contentious, way, way over the top or downright libelous.

Part of the fun in coming on here was that i could leave my neck fully unwound and go and play.

No taboo subjects here, no hurt feelings, nobody gave a fuck and you could fill yer boots with whatever subject matter was on the menu.

Now? The place is a fucking disaster. Apart from the hardcore of stalwarts who are hanging on grimly, many have fucked off or now post once in a blue moon. Remember STTG? perhaps Boudicca? what about BS FFS!!!

No doubt, some kindly mod will either erase this post or move it, out of the goodness of their heart to the other side of the Forum and the thread "Is DL dying?" or summat.

Before anyone wants to stick their paws on it, re read the first three words of this post, then sod off and leave it alone.

[Memento Mori 12]

I'm consigning elderly ladies who use the supermarket as a social club to room 101. They block the aisles with their trolleys leaving no space for other shoppers to get by. As if that isn't bad enough, anybody within earshot is treated to a blow by blow account of their ailments and general gripes(the youth of today and arthritis being favourites). I've found them, generally, to be far ruder, louder and a hell of a lot more obtrusive than the much maligned youth. Then again, I'm most likely allowing today's experience to colour my judgment XD!