Room 101

[Godot 149]

Nothing much bothers me, except:

 

Spider sh*t: they don't amount to much singly, but the little black blobs of spider sh*t that accumulate on window sills, almost without anyone noticing, can be really annoying. Not easy to remove and far more irritating than the spiders themselves. I wish you could house train a house spider but you can never catch them in the act.

 

Marzipan: never understood the point of it.

 

Neck Ties: World's most pointless clothing. A receptical for gravy stains, soup splashes, coffee spills and various sources of bodily-discharged mucous, very restricting and available in a range of hidious colours and patterns that never quite go.

 

Women's tights: Wouldn't be seen dead in them. Unhealthy, unsexy, most ridiculous item of "convenience" clothing ever invented.

 

Graham Norton: Irritating beyond belief. Worse than Claire Raynor.

 

Shag-pile carpets: needs no explanation.

 

Chewing gum: especially in shag-pile carpets. Should be taxed out of existence.

 

Popcorn in cinemas and any other crunchy food. Law on assault and GBH should be amended to exempt physical harm against paper rustlers and crisp eaters within the confines of a cinema.

 

People who drive in the middle lane of motorways: should be declared as fair game for other road users. There should be a season for "taking out" such people in the same way as there is one for grouse.

 

People who stand on the left on tube station escalators: as above.

 

Christmas cards: waste of time and money, meaningless ritual.

 

smilies/emoticons

[Tuber Mirum 125]

Nothing much bothers me, except:

 

Spider sh*t: they don't amount to much singly, but the little black blobs of spider sh*t that accumulate on window sills, almost without anyone noticing, can be really annoying. Not easy to remove and far more irritating than the spiders themselves. I wish you could house train a house spider but you can never catch them in the act.

Never noticed the stuff before. I shall keep a look out in future.

 

Marzipan: never understood the point of it.

Quite. A complete waste of Almonds. They like making horrid little pigs out of it here.

 

Neck Ties: World's most pointless clothing. A receptical for gravy stains, soup splashes, coffee spills and various sources of bodily-discharged mucous, very restricting and available in a range of hideous colours and patterns that never quite go.

Disagree with you there Godot old thing. They are an excellent means of self-expression, I have always found.

 

Women's tights: Wouldn't be seen dead in them. Unhealthy, unsexy, most ridiculous item of "convenience" clothing ever invented.

Now you mention it, you are absolutely right. It's one of those inconveniences we tend to take for granted.

 

Graham Norton: Irritating beyond belief. Worse than Claire Raynor.

Never heard of him, but he must be appalling.

 

Shag-pile carpets: needs no explanation.

Particularly in unventilated bathrooms.

 

Chewing gum: especially in shag-pile carpets. Should be taxed out of existence.

Juicy Fruit is particularly nasty, or any fruit-flavoured bubble gum.

[Tuber Mirum 125]

Popcorn in cinemas and any other crunchy food. Law on assault and GBH should be amended to exempt physical harm against paper rustlers and crisp eaters within the confines of a cinema.

Not too bad if it's in a container and not in a rustly plastic bag. Otherwise the judicious application of shotguns is entirely appropriate.

 

People who drive in the middle lane of motorways: should be declared as fair game for other road users. There should be a season for "taking out" such people in the same way as there is one for grouse.

This problem is much worse in the UK than over here, because the British motorways are so narrow and curvy and because of the speed limit which is necessary because the roads are so badly designed. Driving in the UK is absolute murder because of these idiots. Do away with them I say.

 

People who stand on the left on tube station escalators: as above.

Pure stupidity. The same sort of folks who think it's funny to falsely report a death.

 

Christmas cards: waste of time and money, meaningless ritual.

Aye.

 

smilies/emoticons

Can be overused, certainly.

[Handrejka 1,904]

Does anyone actually like marzipan? I can't stand it either, it tastes like medicine

 

Oh can I add Valentine's Day as well? Stupid comercialised crap and a waste of natural resources. How much land is given over to grown roses which last about 20 mins, which guys only buy so they get what hackenslash was talking about earlier

[Paul Bearer 6,102]

Does anyone actually like marzipan? <snip>

 

erm.... actually, I quite like marzipan.

Spider sh*t...... never actually seen any.

Drivers in the middle lane of motorways, aye, fekin pains in the arses, should have their arses kicked the whole length of the motorway.

neck ties, ok I suppose

standing on the left on tube station escalators, sorry, I don't quite understand that one.

Christmas cards, the jury's out on that one

smilies, I like them, its a way of showing the way the comment was meant to be taken

womens tights, disagree with you there, bloody handy things in the middle of winter on the building sites, or even on a motorbike.

Graham Norton, in small doses he can be very funny

[Lady Grendel 139]

Does anyone actually like marzipan? I can't stand it either, it tastes like medicine

 

Oh can I add Valentine's Day as well? Stupid comercialised crap and a waste of natural resources. How much land is given over to grown roses which last about 20 mins, which guys only buy so they get what hackenslash was talking about earlier

 

I love marzipan, especially covered in dark bitter chocolate, Mmmmm.

 

I agree with you about Valentine's Day, complete crap, I refuse to celebrate it. Not only do the roses only last about 20 minutes they also cost about 5 times as much as they would on any other day of the year. .

 

Womens tights I hate, I'm small and they are either too large and the crotch bit hangs down around my knees or they are too small and they chafe my thighs, haven't worn them for years.

[Tuber Mirum 125]

I love marzipan, especially covered in dark bitter chocolate, Mmmmm.

Aye, but admit it, the bitter chocolate would taste about a million times better without any marzipan.

[Canadian Paul 97]

Play-Doh - 50 years old this year

 

Not something that troubles me unduly these days, but if I'd been asked to do a "Room 101" in my childhood, this would have been first pick. Why did it have to have such a revolting smell? It used to make me heave! I could not be in the same room as the stuff.

 

Tasty though.

[Godot 149]

standing on the left on tube station escalators, sorry, I don't quite understand that one.

 

That's the bloody problem HCW. Too many people don't understand this. They come down to the Big Smoke without even so much as grade 5 GCSE London then they stand on the left and wonder why they have been shoved down the escalator. Little old ladies are the worst because it makes you feel guilty but what can you do? It says quite clearly on the little blue sign: stand on the right, perfectly straightforward. But no, there'll be two women chatting together on the same step or some jerk and his double bass. Why do people stand on escalators anyway? You don't stand on stairs. I make a point of running up and down escalators as fast I can, my little bit of exercise, until someone stands in my way. It really gets my goat.

[Magere Hein 1,400]

It says quite clearly on the little blue sign: stand on the right, perfectly straightforward. But no, there'll be two women chatting together on the same step or some jerk and his double bass. Why do people stand on escalators anyway? You don't stand on stairs. I make a point of running up and down escalators as fast I can, my little bit of exercise, until someone stands in my way. It really gets my goat.

I'm one of those sinners and I have been shoved aside on Underground escalators. There are no such rules in continental Europe, and such habits are hard to break. I saw the error of my ways eventually and keep to the right even here.

 

regards,

Hein

[DevonDeathTrip 2,358]

It says quite clearly on the little blue sign: stand on the right, perfectly straightforward. But no, there'll be two women chatting together on the same step or some jerk and his double bass. Why do people stand on escalators anyway? You don't stand on stairs. I make a point of running up and down escalators as fast I can, my little bit of exercise, until someone stands in my way. It really gets my goat.

I'm one of those sinners and I have been shoved aside on Underground escalators. There are no such rules in continental Europe, and such habits are hard to break. I saw the error of my ways eventually and keep to the right even here.

 

regards,

Hein

 

I've travelled around the world and got myself into quite a few scrapes, but I have never ever had a more traumatic experience than going on the tube in rush hour for the first time. It makes me feel ill just remembering it.

 

Rush hour in Devon just isn't the same.

[Paul Bearer 6,102]

 

standing on the left on tube station escalators, sorry, I don't quite understand that one.

 

That's the bloody problem HCW. Too many people don't understand this. They come down to the Big Smoke without even so much as grade 5 GCSE London then they stand on the left and wonder why they have been shoved down the escalator. Little old ladies are the worst because it makes you feel guilty but what can you do? It says quite clearly on the little blue sign: stand on the right, perfectly straightforward. But no, there'll be two women chatting together on the same step or some jerk and his double bass. Why do people stand on escalators anyway? You don't stand on stairs. I make a point of running up and down escalators as fast I can, my little bit of exercise, until someone stands in my way. It really gets my goat.

 

The last time I was on an underground was when I was about 12, and I'm certain there weren't any escalators there. I've never been in London so am unfamiliar with that rule.

 

[ ]Slightly different, but along the same lines, two women walking on the pavement each one pushing the BIGGEST fekin prams manufactured forcing you to take your life in your hands by being forced to walk on a busy road and the looks you get when you don't.[/ ]

[Lady Grendel 139]

[ ]Slightly different, but along the same lines, two women walking on the pavement each one pushing the BIGGEST fekin prams manufactured forcing you to take your life in your hands by being forced to walk on a busy road and the looks you get when you don't.[/ ]

 

Thank God, someone that agrees with me, I diced with death this afternoon, 1 girl with a pram walked towards me beside a taxi rank in our local shopping centre and 1 behind me, I risked being a 'pram sandwich', so I took sidestepping action and jumped in front of a 'stationary' taxi just as he moved forward to pick up another pram wielding teenager, fortunately he stopped just in time, meanwhile the two 'pram drivers' headed for a collision course, but of course they knew each other and stopped for a chat oblivious to the near death they had almost caused, bastards I couldn't jump the other way 'cause a pensioner with a supermarket trolley was heading towards her 'mission of today', holding up the queues at the checkout, what the f**k were these silly wee lassies with prams thinking (they were 16 at the most) 'everyone will walk on the road' 'honestly we are invisible and you can walk through us' ??? don't start me on this subject HCW it drives me mad

[Godot 149]

 

[ ]Slightly different, but along the same lines, two women walking on the pavement each one pushing the BIGGEST fekin prams manufactured forcing you to take your life in your hands by being forced to walk on a busy road and the looks you get when you don't.[/ ]

 

Thank God, someone that agrees with me, I diced with death this afternoon, 1 girl with a pram walked towards me beside a taxi rank in our local shopping centre and 1 behind me, I risked being a 'pram sandwich', so I took sidestepping action and jumped in front of a 'stationary' taxi just as he moved forward to pick up another pram wielding teenager, fortunately he stopped just in time, meanwhile the two 'pram drivers' headed for a collision course, but of course they knew each other and stopped for a chat oblivious to the near death they had almost caused, bastards I couldn't jump the other way 'cause a pensioner with a supermarket trolley was heading towards her 'mission of today', holding up the queues at the checkout, what the f**k were these silly wee lassies with prams thinking (they were 16 at the most) 'everyone will walk on the road' 'honestly we are invisible and you can walk through us' ??? don't start me on this subject HCW it drives me mad

 

LG what you need to do is to start commuting in London where nobody, just nobody, gets in the way of the dedicated commuter. Prams are crushed under foot like matchwood, their hapless occupants tossed aside and the pram pushers left crumpled and pleading for their lives. Blind people are jostled and old folk get trampled along with the rest in a kind of commuting Blitzkrieg. Train conductors are pinned out on platforms for the ants to eat off their carcasses and foreign tourists are packed in to cattle trucks to provide more "liebansraum" for the rest of the south east middle class. Dog eat dog? I have the scars to prove it.

 

On second thoughts, I would stay in Scotland.

[Godot 149]

Iain

[Tuber Mirum 125]

And Bennett Cerf/Bruno Brimley.

[Star Crossed 33]

And Bennett Cerf/Bruno Brimley.

It sounds almost as if you've noticed some subtle correlation between the posting styles of these two entirely different members, and have inferred some sort of connection as a result

 

Gott to go nowe, Gavin has brought home my favuorit bottgle of scothch, which i wil enjouy with some shortbreasd.

[Madame Defarge 21]

And Bennett Cerf/Bruno Brimley.

 

Definitely, and it wouldn't come as too great a shock to find out that the IP address for

Mr. Cerf is MiddleEarth as I've always assumed that he was Gollum, yess,my

Preciouss ....

[VSBfromH 74]

That radio advert where the guy says, in a very headmaster-like tone "There's nothing clever about having a hernia".

 

As if anybody ever said "Hey, look folks! I've got a hernia. Aren't I a clever bastard?!"

[TLC 9]

LG what you need to do is to start commuting in London where nobody, just nobody, gets in the way of the dedicated commuter. Prams are crushed under foot like matchwood, their hapless occupants tossed aside and the pram pushers left crumpled and pleading for their lives. Blind people are jostled and old folk get trampled along with the rest in a kind of commuting Blitzkrieg. Train conductors are pinned out on platforms for the ants to eat off their carcasses and foreign tourists are packed in to cattle trucks to provide more "liebansraum" for the rest of the south east middle class. Dog eat dog? I have the scars to prove it.

 

On second thoughts, I would stay in Scotland.

As far as I can tell the most successful style of commuter walking is the head down, straight line, 'if I can't see you then you'll have to get out of my way' mode.

 

The reason I know this is because I try and look where I'm going and notice that so few others do. It's worth it though if only to avoid people handing out newspapers, leaflets, free gym membership(!) cards etc.

 

It means that all of my side-stepping, dodging and occasional complete stops roughly doubles the distance I walk to work. Hopefully the extra exercise makes up for all the extra pollution that I take into my system, but I doubt it.

 

Still better than taking the f*cking tube by a very large margin, however.

[Godot 149]

I don't expect too many will agree with me but I do find the Deathlist banner heading a tad dull, particularly the Gothic fonts. At the risk of being condemned to the same fate I think it should be consigned here. A redesign is long overdo.

[Six 23]

That dire ' Green Flag' advert on TV really annoys me. Anyone else seen it? It's about some roadside rescue service or something.

What annoys me so much is the part where the racing pickup truck almost runs into a roadworker, but turns just in time to miss him. The roadworker is standing in a manhole eating a piece of dry white bread.

I have a few problems with this image. Why is he eating his lunch whilst still in the manhole? Are there not Health&Safety issues here? Why, also, is he eating a piece of dry bread? Why not a sandwich? A roll? A croissant maybe?? Surely the makers of the ad could budget an actual sandwich for the scene???? Grrrrr.

[Windsor 2,233]

That dire ' Green Flag' advert on TV really annoys me. Anyone else seen it? It's about some roadside rescue service or something.

What annoys me so much is the part where the racing pickup truck almost runs into a roadworker, but turns just in time to miss him. The roadworker is standing in a manhole eating a piece of dry white bread.

I have a few problems with this image. Why is he eating his lunch whilst still in the manhole? Are there not Health&Safety issues here? Why, also, is he eating a piece of dry bread? Why not a sandwich? A roll? A croissant maybe?? Surely the makers of the ad could budget an actual sandwich for the scene???? Grrrrr.

 

Perhaps he is really a homeless guy who lives underground. He got the uniform by beating up the real roadworker.

[CarolAnn 926]

It hasn't been a good week here and I am absolutely furious.

 

I'm furious at people who leave their children in the car - especially in a Texas summer. I'm hacked off at people who run puppy mills (I think you call them puppy farms in the UK) and abuse their dogs. I completely pissed off at teenagers, particularly teenage sons who have decided the world revolves around them. I'm hacked off at whatever or whoever decided we should have strep in our lives. I have had it with the Texas Rangers and their inability to play baseball after the All Star Break. I'm miffed with people who have to stop on the opposite side of the freeway to look at an accident on the other side of the freeway.

 

I'm sure there's more, but I've been sick and my brain isn't working.

 

EDIT: I thought of another one. I'm sick of people who point guns at the police and don't expect to get shot - or their family has a cow because they are now dead with 40 police bullets in them.

[Banshees Scream 110]

That dire ' Green Flag' advert on TV really annoys me. Anyone else seen it? It's about some roadside rescue service or something.

What annoys me so much is the part where the racing pickup truck almost runs into a roadworker, but turns just in time to miss him. The roadworker is standing in a manhole eating a piece of dry white bread.

I have a few problems with this image. Why is he eating his lunch whilst still in the manhole? Are there not Health&Safety issues here? Why, also, is he eating a piece of dry bread? Why not a sandwich? A roll? A croissant maybe?? Surely the makers of the ad could budget an actual sandwich for the scene???? Grrrrr.

 

Perhaps he is really a homeless guy who lives underground. He got the uniform by beating up the real roadworker.

 

Homeless men seem to have skill. Very creative. They are able to turn appliances\paper\plastic, into clothing and also for bed material. I always wondered how they got breakfest, lunch, and dinner in there systems, since they are so creative, perhaps they boil rocks in water, like stone soup? But they don't have a stove... so either they beg or find the nearest garbage can and start digging?