Room 101

[Handrejka 1,904]

Men and it nearly always is men who grow giant vegetables for competitions and you can't even bloody eat the things (the veg, not the men). What's the point of having something that big when it's completely useless. Typical male mentality.

 

Deaf people who won't wear a hearing-aid.

[Madame Defarge 21]

Men and it nearly always is men who grow giant vegetables for competitions and you can't even bloody eat the things (the veg, not the men). What's the point of having something that big when it's completely useless. Typical male mentality.

 

Deaf people who won't wear a hearing-aid.

 

What?

[Monoclinic 39]

Men and it nearly always is men who grow giant vegetables for competitions and you can't even bloody eat the things (the veg, not the men). What's the point of having something that big when it's completely useless. Typical male mentality.

 

Deaf people who won't wear a hearing-aid.

 

What?

 

Does this help? Or have you misplaced your specs too?

 

 

 

Edit: Also a popular past time in Austria

[scsibear 4]

 

It's too bad he doesn't have his full surname on his jersey, because then the club shop could charge all the kids who buy replica shirts a fortune in lettering.

 

Actualy...... he does!

 

Grins mischieviously at HCW...Mon the Tic !!

 

[Lady Grendel 139]

hmmm so we tend to change peoples name so its got 2 syllables, unless it already has 2 syllables, then we make them 1..

names are there to be used arent they? i know a guy called Constantine but i dont really shorted that much. i dont even know what i would shorten it to. Consty? Conso? Connizzle?

 

I taught a lad called Constantine, he used to get called Tino. His brother was called Franzsiskus, he called Franz. I don't why they didn't just name him Franz to start off with.

 

It drives me mad when my mum calls me Ana. If she'd wanted to call me that why not name me that and not Andrea?

 

 

I agree. I work in the old people sector, and loads of them have completely different names to what they were born with, for instance they will say 'my name's Dorothy but I'm known as Peg'. Why? Peg is nothing like Dorothy. And a friend of mine has two sons who she calls by their middle names, if she wanted to call them their middle names, why not just make them the first names?

 

My favourite old people's names are from father's who really wanted a son badly but got a daughter.

For example - Williamina and Andrewina (Minnie and Ina). Why?

 

Another one would be Constance (Connie)

 

I've come across Donaldina, 2 odd names I have come across over the years were Fanny McLatchie and Nimrod Boggs .

[Lard Bazaar 3,800]

hmmm so we tend to change peoples name so its got 2 syllables, unless it already has 2 syllables, then we make them 1..

names are there to be used arent they? i know a guy called Constantine but i dont really shorted that much. i dont even know what i would shorten it to. Consty? Conso? Connizzle?

 

I taught a lad called Constantine, he used to get called Tino. His brother was called Franzsiskus, he called Franz. I don't why they didn't just name him Franz to start off with.

 

It drives me mad when my mum calls me Ana. If she'd wanted to call me that why not name me that and not Andrea?

 

 

I agree. I work in the old people sector, and loads of them have completely different names to what they were born with, for instance they will say 'my name's Dorothy but I'm known as Peg'. Why? Peg is nothing like Dorothy. And a friend of mine has two sons who she calls by their middle names, if she wanted to call them their middle names, why not just make them the first names?

 

My favourite old people's names are from father's who really wanted a son badly but got a daughter.

For example - Williamina and Andrewina (Minnie and Ina). Why?

 

Another one would be Constance (Connie)

 

I've come across Donaldina, 2 odd names I have come across over the years were Fanny McLatchie and Nimrod Boggs .

 

My friend went on a luxury holiday to some paradise island for her 50th birthday last year. On one of the excursions on a yacht around the islands she met another holidaymaker, a middle aged American man who's name was Sterling McFaff.

[TLC 9]

Knew a Lee Avalon-Dick and a Lucy Farr back when I was a student, I suppose at least Lee's first name didn't begin with an 'I'.

 

Clients I have dealt with in my time inclued Tegwyn Thomas, Stafford Fitch-Bunce and Charles Conrad-Pickles. The last one is funny because he is a fairly senior chap in the financial services industry and is very old-school posh and I guess years ago he must have decided he wanted a suitable name; the rest of his family only have the surname 'Pickles'... He used to go mental if anyone even called him Charles rather than Mr Conrad-Pickles who wasn't a close personal friend (or at least seriously wealthy), so I guess Charlie Pickles would have made him go beserk.

 

Back to my own pet hates; pedestrians in and around Oxford Street. I have to walk down about 100 yards of Oxford Street on my way to work (just past HMV) and spend much of my time in the surrounding streets, and I'm starting to think either everyone there is either blind drunk from quarter to 9 in the morning onwards or some huge magnet has f*cked their sense of direction. I used to think old people were the worst for random direction and speed changes, but tourist shoppers are far worse. They switch between that and single-minded straight line marches with aboslutely no sense of where anyone else on the pavement is, and try and get aggressive when they walk into you.

 

I used to work in the city until a few months ago where it was busy enough, but I suppose most of the pedestrians there were workers so they knew where they were going in advance thus causing less problems.

 

I have twice had to shoulder barge people out of the way recently when a group walks towards you spread across the entire width of the pavement and no-one moves out of the way to let you through; very satisfying though. I probably didn't need to do it as hard as I did either..

 

Most of the time I'd rather take my chances in the road, although then cyclists become the silent killer. At least when they carve you up on the pavement you are morally in the right....

[Anubis the Jackal 77]

If we're on the subject of London Lemmings, let me now rant against tube 'customers' who completely ignore repeated requests to 'Please let customers off the train first please.'

 

Saturday being a case in point. I was trying to get off at my stop carrying two very large and bulky items of heavy musical equipment over each shoulder. Naturally, being nearly twice as wide as normal, I let my fellow disembarkees get off before me to avoid blocking the tube doors. However, in the ensuing rush of lemmings trying to pile on to the train at the same time, I realised that without some drastic action, I would be stuck on until the next stop.

 

 

 

After a couple of polite 'Excuse Me's to no avail, I simply leaned forward and heaved, dragging 3 people off the tube with me. Cue much grumbling and shouting.

 

 

 

A pleasant "Thank you for letting customers off the train first" shut them up sharpish.

[Monoclinic 39]

If we're on the subject of London Lemmings, let me now rant against tube 'customers' who completely ignore repeated requests to 'Please let customers off the train first please.'

 

Saturday being a case in point. I was trying to get off at my stop carrying two very large and bulky items of heavy musical equipment over each shoulder. Naturally, being nearly twice as wide as normal, I let my fellow disembarkees get off before me to avoid blocking the tube doors. However, in the ensuing rush of lemmings trying to pile on to the train at the same time, I realised that without some drastic action, I would be stuck on until the next stop.

 

 

 

After a couple of polite 'Excuse Me's to no avail, I simply leaned forward and heaved, dragging 3 people off the tube with me. Cue much grumbling and shouting.

 

 

 

A pleasant "Thank you for letting customers off the train first" shut them up sharpish.

 

At least there is a slight delay before they all leap on board. I've noticed here in Belgium they really don't know how to queue. Train approaches everyone hustles and bustles to get to the front overtaking grannies without even the slightest care. Then when the train stops they crowd the entrance so you can't get off and even then they don't think to shift their arsemaking you walk around them close up to the edge of the train.

 

This is a tame rant of my Belgian existence. I have thus far refrained from venting my spleen and enter into postwhoredom on this thread for fear of upsetting any Belgian Deathlisters. Then again the treatment I've received in this country as an EU citizen is actually quite shocking. I never thought I'd see the day when I would willingly vote for UKIP. I always thought I was pro-Europe till this one small country changed my viewpoint entirely.

[Windsor 2,233]

People who cough behind you on the bus without covering their mouth.

[TLC 9]

If we're on the subject of London Lemmings, let me now rant against tube 'customers' who completely ignore repeated requests to 'Please let customers off the train first please.'

 

[snip]

 

A pleasant "Thank you for letting customers off the train first" shut them up sharpish.

The very reason why I gave up my travelcard and now just get the train to Charing Cross and walk everywhere else in London unless a)I'm in a serious hurry b)carrying too much stuff c)tired/drunk/lazy and it's not peak time, when suddenly the tube is quite a pleasant and effective means of transport.

 

Also, my nearest tube station is Oxford Circus; just a more condensed version of Oxford Street as it's full of tourists (fair enough I suppose) and impossible to get into anywhere near 9am, 12-1pm or 5pm. It's enough trouble walking past the entrance and exits most of the time.

 

Pedestrians annoy me, but at least I don't have to pay an extra £50 per month for them. Also, I now actually know my way around central London and most journeys are barely any longer than a tube ride anyway (if not quicker), especially when you take into account the time it takes to get in, queue at the ticket barriers, go down the escalators and then wait for a train there's room to get on. Apparently walking is healthy too, although I imagine the air pollution counters that pretty effectively.

[Real Madron 6]

on planes, (or coaches etc) when the guy in front keeps shifting and bouncing around, especially when their seat is reclined. also the guy behind who is constantly banging the back of your chair.. what the f**k is he doing back there? why cant people just sit down and chill out?

[TLC 9]

My weed dealer who has f*cked off with £70 of mine. I'll track him down and get it back as he's not going to be leaving the area (which makes it even more annoying and pointless) but this is supposed to be what relaxes me in my spare time.

 

If you can't trust a semi-derranged permanently drug addled dealer with no fixed address, who can you trust?

[Canadian Paul 97]

New addition: Gallo wine. The Merlot is better than the white, but that's about the equivalent of saying getting a finger cut off is better than getting your thumb cut off.

 

Hopefully the next time I decide to do a tribute to someone, it'll be someone who doesn't make sh*t wine.

[Olveres 8]

New addition: Gallo wine. The Merlot is better than the white, but that's about the equivalent of saying getting a finger cut off is better than getting your thumb cut off.

 

Hopefully the next time I decide to do a tribute to someone, it'll be someone who doesn't make sh*t wine.

 

Here here.

[Captain Oates 21]

Here here.

[Kain 0]

New addition: Gallo wine. The Merlot is better than the white, but that's about the equivalent of saying getting a finger cut off is better than getting your thumb cut off.

 

Hopefully the next time I decide to do a tribute to someone, it'll be someone who doesn't make sh*t wine.

Should have gone with the Thunderbird - after the first half bottle it doesn't matter that it tastes like the bottling plant doubles as a sewer

[Olveres 8]

 

Here here.

 

[Captain Oates 21]

A certain (un-named, of course) British telecommunications/internet provider that changes my IP address several times each hour on the pretext of improving the speed/service, thus throwing me off-line. I then have to disconnect and then re-connect with my wireless router (just repairing or refreshing won't do it) and lose whatever work or download is in process.

 

The 'help' line seems to be based half the planet away from where the problem lies and calls back within the hour, only to advise in scripted step-by step idiot's-guide form to 'disconnect and then re-connect' - with insistence on using IE, which won't work anyway because of it's own problems - and then a constant repetition of the phrase "It's working fine now? Good, then it will work, so that should be alright." I tell them what the problem is, so....

 

....as it's a 'very excellent, user-friendly, will-do-everything-in our-power-to-help' type of help line, they call back in two hours to check that it's still working! (It went off again within minutes, of course.)

 

Same process is repeated! Well, I thought the second time round they might try an alternative!

 

What a load of crap!

 

I could blame the hardware, but it all comes from the same 'provider' - the hardware 'help' is no better!

W**nkers! Expensive W**nkers!

[Tuber Mirum 125]

1&1 by any chance?

[Captain Oates 21]

1&1 by any chance?

It's an anagram of TB.

 

Another day and another 60 IP addresses later, no progress except in my proficiency at clicking off and on again to the router so that the data stream can continue.

 

[honez 79]

It's an anagram of TB.

Ah, good old "Mobile Stitcher."

I'm with my aptly anagrammed national carrier "Startle," who provide a similar level of service by the sound of it.

[To die for 3]

It's an anagram of TB.

Ah, good old "Mobile Stitcher."

I'm with my aptly anagrammed national carrier "Startle," who provide a similar level of service by the sound of it.

 

I rang my MEDIA provider from work to report a fault with my phone (no dial tone) and was told they couldn't help unless I rang from the property where the fault had occurred.

[Slave to the Grave 26]

I'd like to put my car, Nigel, into room 101. He is ugly and old. He has a large engine without any of the benefits of having a large engine ie sportiness and speed. He is exceptionally expensive to repair allegedly because he is old and not very common. I have just returned from the garage where I was informed that because of his oldness and his large engine half a new exhaust will cost 380euros plus labour plus VAT

[Olveres 8]

I'd like to put my car, Nigel, into room 101. He is ugly and old. He has a large engine without any of the benefits of having a large engine ie sportiness and speed. He is exceptionally expensive to repair allegedly because he is old and not very common. I have just returned from the garage where I was informed that because of his oldness and his large engine half a new exhaust will cost 380euros plus labour plus VAT

 

So what sort of car is Nigel then?