Drewsky1211 4,751 Posted August 20, 2017 On 8/7/2015 at 09:46, gcreptile said: Javier Perez de Cuellar - dies I see you did a John Demjanjuk with that. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sir Creep 7,070 Posted August 20, 2017 Bishop Desmond Tutu: 'Continent Mourns: Regrets it wasn't fucking Robert Mugabe.' 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bibliogryphon 9,586 Posted August 22, 2017 Liz Dawn should be either Dawn of the Dead or The End of a Vera (which also works for Vera Lynn) For Leslie Phillips I was thinking For Whom The Bell Tolls - Ding Dong! 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
msc 18,477 Posted August 22, 2017 1 minute ago, Bibliogryphon said: Liz Dawn should be either Dawn of the Dead or The End of a Vera (which also works for Vera Lynn) Try not to spoil all my future Crowdsourced puns in advance! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
theoldlady 2,304 Posted August 22, 2017 Billy Graham: Proof the Mandela affect is real. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Drewsky1211 4,751 Posted August 22, 2017 9 minutes ago, theoldlady said: Billy Graham: Proof the Mandela affect is real. I feel like that would be better for Desmond Tutu, as Mandela was a good friend of his. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
theoldlady 2,304 Posted August 22, 2017 31 minutes ago, Drewsky1211 said: I feel like that would be better for Desmond Tutu, as Mandela was a good friend of his. Not really, my husband and many others I know remember Billy Graham's funeral in 2000; some think it was in the mid-2000s. No one I have met have believed that Tutu has already died and had a funeral in the past, but many insist Billy has been dead a long time. (Many also remember Mandela dying in prison a long, long time ago - then he was suddenly back in the lime-light. Wierd! Also I have seen an old text-book from the USA where the South won the war.) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Drewsky1211 4,751 Posted August 23, 2017 I'll Try With Pre-1997 Hits. 1987: Andres Segovia: Se-gone-ia! 1988: The Year that Never Was 1989: Salvador Dali: Dali's Internal Clock Melts! (Reference to his Painting The Persistence of Memory) Sugar Ray Robinson: TKO Ray Moore: Ray No Moore! 1990: Terry-Thomas: It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World (One of the movies he starred in) Greta Garbo: Garbo No Longer Talks! (One of the scenes from Anna Christie) Jill Ireland: Jill Die-rland! 1991: Absolutely Nothing 1992: Jim Joel: Joel Finally Falls! Michael Havers: Disorder in the Court! Marlene Dietrich: Marlene Dies-trich Kitty Godfree: Kitty Got Free Dan Maskell: Wimbledon Loses Its Voice! 1993: Rudolf Nureyev: No More Dancing for Nureyev Audrey Hepburn: Audrey Hep-burned Arthur Ashe: Ashes to Ashes Les Dawson: Deadpan Bill Bixby: HULK SMASH! 1994: Brian Johnston: Cricket to Heaven Telly Savalas: Telly's Not on the Telly Anymore Derek Jarman: The Last of Jarman (Reference to his film The Last of England) John Curry: On Thin Ice Richard Nixon: Nixon Resigns Erich Honecker: Erich Honecker Had a Great Fall (Financed the building of the Berlin wall) Kim Il-Sung: Kim Ill Sung Roy Castle: Record Broken (5 was the original record, this year had 9 deaths) Burt Lancaster: Burned Lancaster 1995: Rose Kennedy: Rosebud Kenny Everett: House of Death (reference to his film Bloodbath at the House of Death) Ginger Rogers: Falling Down Astaires (She had a partnership with Fred Astaire) Dilys Powell: Breaking News! (No Idea for Harold Larwood) Alec Douglas Home: Alec Douglas Isn't Home Paul Eddington: Paul Deaddington! Jackie Mann: Released Dean Martin: That's No-more! (Reference to his song That's Amore) 1996: Francois Mitterand: Ooh La La! Simon Cadell: Bye-de-Bye! George Burns: George Burned (No idea for Tim Gullikson) Timothy Leary: "L"eary "S"uddenly "D"ies Glyn Worsnip: That's Death! (Reference to his appearances on That's Life!) (No idea for Andreas Papandreou) 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
theoldlady 2,304 Posted February 18, 2018 Henry Kissinger: Real Evil ( millions died because of his policies) Robert Mugabe: natural born killer MRS. Robert Mugabe: Mrs. Natural Born Killer Billy Graham: Exploiter of gullable wankers Charles Taylor: yet another natural born killer Rodney Alcala: the face of evil Kirk Douglas: cunt if he actually did rape Natalie Wood (if not, Sorry) Jerry Lee Lewis: cunt ( what are the odds of having 2 wives dying of heroin overdoses) Ryan O`Neal: cunt (makes a pass at own daughter Tatum, did not recognize her.) Robert Wagner: cunt if he let Natalie Wood drown (if not, Sorry) Yoko Ono: evil step-mother 1 1 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TQR 14,398 Posted February 18, 2018 1 hour ago, theoldlady said: Kirk Douglas: cunt Jerry Lee Lewis: cunt Ryan O`Neal: cunt Robert Wagner: cunt Ladies and men, please welcome the editor of Tourette's Weekly. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
drol 11,951 Posted February 18, 2018 It's not easy to write headlines. If I have to judge last year: 1)Mary Tyler No Moore: Well, we already knew this. It's good, but largely expected. 6/10 2)Joost Over the Line: Oh, this is genius! Funny and appropriated for rugby. Great. 9/10 3)Rockefeller has given his all: That's not funny and makes me think they tried and tried to come up with something good, but Rockefeller was so boring it was all vane. 3/10 4)No Moors Mr. Nice Guy: Well played and funny, not original, but still not banal though. 8.5/10 5)Gone With Noakes: very very predictable. 6/10 6)Summer Wine corked: I did not like it. Where's the calembour? 4/10 7)Christie out for The Count: Banal headline for a boxer. Could have been better. 4/10 8)Tombstone Cowboy: Now that's pure absolute genius! The perfect headline. 10/10 9)Didn't he do well? So so. I expected it to be better. 5/10 10)Reign ends for the King of Comedy: That's just awful. No jokes here, nothing to see. 3/10 11)Clock runs out for La Motta: Another bad boxer headline. Again. 4/10 12)From Dawn to Dust: Good and funny. 8/10 13)Boothanasia! That's a bit exaggerated to be considered funny. 6/10 14)Hef in Hell?! I remember this was originally "The Playboy man's done" and the former is fairly better In fact Hef in Hell?! has been one of my favourite headlines. 8.5/10 15)Tragically RIP: Another one which was written a long time ago. Too predictable. 6/10 16)Domino's toppled: Short and funny. I liked it. 8/10 17)Taking the Mickey: not so good. Bucharest in Peace was muuuch better. 5/10 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
msc 18,477 Posted February 18, 2018 4 hours ago, theoldlady said: Kirk Douglas: cunt if he actually did rape Natalie Wood (if not, Sorry) Robert Wagner: cunt if he let Natalie Wood drown (if not, Sorry) The bits in bold is what really makes the list. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Spade_Cooley 9,530 Posted February 18, 2018 Mugabe's obit pun will have to be some sort of "the land reclaims Bobby" wordplay, hopefully he'll stay alive long enough for me to nail it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
msc 18,477 Posted February 18, 2018 The only downside to handing over the Crowdsourced Deathlist to Joey for next year is some of the terrible puns and headlines I will not be able to inflict on you all. I might PM him the best ones. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TQR 14,398 Posted February 18, 2018 5 hours ago, theoldlady said: Kirk Douglas: cunt if he actually did rape Natalie Wood (if not, Sorry) I'd love to see this one on the front page of a newspaper! 1 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Joey Russ 7,228 Posted February 18, 2018 I'm sure I can come up with some terrible puns myself when I make the obituaries for anyone who dies in 2019 and beyond. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sir Creep 7,070 Posted January 9, 2019 "Dole strong-armed by the Reaper" "Stiller never been stiller" "Doris Day, corpus night" "Reaper short sells Greenspan" "Novel by Clive James with an Afterward by the Reaper" "Pallbearers better be good to Tina Turner" "This fake headline has more chance being published than a Clegg QO" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ImissMontpellier 73 Posted January 9, 2019 Tina Turned to Dust Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Old Crem 3,605 Posted January 9, 2019 Olvia De Haviland - Gone like the Wind. Jimmy Carter- Farmed his last Peanut. Doris Day- Darling moved over. Gordan Banks - No more catching. Dick Van Dyke - Mov ove Guvnor. John Mcricik- The odds were in our favour Loretta Lynn or Vera Lynn - (If they die the same year whoever is second). Double Lynn. Larry King- The King is dead. Nobby Stiles- The final dance. The end of a Vera I can see being used for Vera Lynn - it fit well with how her death will be reported and tributes paid. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
the_engineer 1,415 Posted January 9, 2019 12 minutes ago, The Old Crem said: Olvia De Haviland - Gone like the Wind. Jimmy Carter- Farmed his last Peanut. Doris Day- Darling moved over. Gordan Banks - No more catching. Dick Van Dyke - Mov ove Guvnor. John Mcricik- The odds were in our favour Loretta Lynn or Vera Lynn - (If they die the same year whoever is second). Double Lynn. Larry King- The King is dead. Nobby Stiles- The final dance. I'm sorry old crem but you list doesn't have nowhere near enough cunts. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Grim Up North 3,726 Posted January 9, 2019 Shane MacGowan Won't See Another One Doctors Fail to Save Gordon Banks And for Honor Blackman - Pussy Passes Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MadMac 98 Posted January 10, 2019 1 hour ago, ImissMontpellier said: Tina Turned to Dust Simply To Rest. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
John Robinson 71 Posted January 10, 2019 Murray Walker - Murray loses his walker Sidney Poitier - Poitier states his final point. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sir Creep 7,070 Posted January 10, 2019 2 hours ago, Grim Up North said: And for Honor Blackman - Pussy Passes That one was special. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Daredevil 1,189 Posted December 14, 2020 Headline suggestions for some 2020 remainders Prince Philip- DeathList Phil-up Dick Van Dyke- Dead Van Dyke, or Vanishing Breed, that’s him Emperor Akihito- Ak hito for The DeathList Pierre Cardin- Gone In Style Bob Dole- A Dole kind of death Murray Walker- End of the Race for Walker Leon Spinks- Another DL knockout Betty White- Right about White Angela Lansbury- Death, She Wrote Bob Barker- The Price Was Death Alan Greenspan- Lifespan over for Greenspan Henry Kissinger- Goodbye Kiss for Henry Jimmy Carter- Carter becomes next departer Leslie Phillips- Ding Dong! Bell has rung for Phillips Tony Bennett- Crooner could have gone sooner Harry Belafonte- End of the Line Prunella Scales- Syb-ill now in Fawlty Towers’ Book of Remembrance Jacques Delors- Bad luck for Jacques Willie Nelson- Off The Road Now John Edrich- Edrich batted out Shane MacGowan- Such a Shane Lester Piggott- Piggott has fallen Joanne Woodward- DeathList “Winning” Tom Smith- Full time for Smith Jean-Marie Le Pen- Le Pen’s French toast Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
