The Deathlist Christmas Special!

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,218]

Starbucks has brought back the plain red cups in the US. Let the southern butthurt begin.

You need to explain this.

Im just a thick Englishman.

[CarolAnn 926]

The cups are plain red with a white circle containing the Siren trademark. When they first came out last year they became symbolic of the War on Christmas™. Starbucks said the cups had "purity of design" to "celebrate everything about the holiday season.

 

Doesn't Starbucks know that December belongs only to Christians? Sheesh. Get a clue.

 

Preachers thundered from the pulpit about Starbucks' taking Christ out of Christmas. Evangelicals all over the US South boycotted Starbucks. Joshua Feuerstein, the internets' favorite religious idiot, congratulated himself about going to his local Starbucks, telling the barista his name was Merry Christmas, and thereby "tricking" Starbucks to write Merry Christmas on the otherwise blank red cup. You can tell a Starbucks barista your name is Count Dracula and his Merry Men and they'll write that on the damn cup.

 

I laughed until my plain red cup Starbucks coffee came out my nose.

 

One Redditor made a picture of the red cup into a rainbow cup. At that point I decided I had to stop drinking coffee until this was over. My nose would never survive.

 

I didn't and it did.

 

So this year there are plain red cups but there are also some red cups with customer artwork in white. You can see them here: https://news.starbucks.com/news/artists-behind-starbucks-holiday-cups-2016

 

You will notice there are no religious themes. Cue butthurt.

 

As an aside, there are at least 10 religious holidays in December alone. I'm thinking this should be on a billboard somewhere so someone can set it on fire. I like to see people happy in the holiday season.

[RadGuy 1,614]

I can't really take a side in the wannabe-conflict that is the War on Christmas.

 

Of course, it's absolutely retarded for all these Christians to care so much about fucking cup designs. These morons get triggered by people saying "Happy Holidays"! For crying out loud, go home and sick the fuck down and worry about other things that are actual problems.

 

On the other hand, it's also annoying how companies and people go out of their way to make sure the holiday season is inclusive and diverse and yaaay. The vast majority of Americans, probably at least 80%, celebrate Christmas. The only other religious/ethnic holidays around this time are Hannukah, and the US is only, like 2% Jewish. Kwanzaa isn't actually a thing. On December 25th last year, I got a snap from the Snapchat Team that depicted Santa and a winter scene. It said "Happy Holidays". Like, for non-existent-God's sake, say the damn name: Christmas. This was the actual day of Christmas, Hannukah was well over, and as I said, Kwanzaa ain't even a thing. They even used Christmas symbolism and didn't say the damn name.

 

People need to stop going out of their way to say "Happy Holidays", and people need to stop getting offended by bullshit like "Happy Holidays".

[Toast 16,141]

All of those things are wrong. It should be "Happy Solstice".

[themaninblack 2,112]

All of those things are wrong. It should be "Happy Solstice".

 

Christmas is a bastardized version of said festival which the Romans adapted from their pagan winter festivals. That's why it's celebrated at that particular time rather than the actual date of Christ's birth, which we don't know for sure anyway...

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

Yes we do. 14th January 1969.

 

[Toast 16,141]

Alternative John Lewis Christmas ad

[Bibliogryphon 9,586]

I normally avoid the JL advert but my daughter showed me it so she could show the parody one. It was the least Christmassy thing ever.

[Toast 16,141]

I normally avoid the JL advert but my daughter showed me it so she could show the parody one. It was the least Christmassy thing ever.

 

I find the choice of music utterly baffling.

A song about an adult wanting to leave a relationship. Slow and sad.

Nobody in the ad does any flying, actual or metaphorical.

No connection with children, families, animals, gifts, Christmas. Or fun!

 

The music they use is always shit though. Even if they pick up a decent song they always use a hideous cover.

[rockhopper penguin 2,265]

Typecasting.

[The Mad Hatter 1,092]

Typecasting.

you should have written down "a giant dildo" and seen where that would have taken you. Nothing would be funnier than a child wearing a giant lenis flopping side to side in a Christmas play.

[rockhopper penguin 2,265]

 

Typecasting.

you should have written down "a giant dildo" and seen where that would have taken you. Nothing would be funnier than a child wearing a giant lenis flopping side to side in a Christmas play.

 

Nothing?

[Toast 16,141]

Typecasting.

 

Winter themed clothes

 

[themaninblack 2,112]

Typecasting.

 

Some method acting required, I fancy...

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

 

Typecasting.

you should have written down "a giant dildo" and seen where that would have taken you. Nothing would be funnier than a child wearing a giant lenis flopping side to side in a Christmas play.

Clearly you speak from experience you massive cockend.

[The Mad Hatter 1,092]

 

 

Typecasting.

you should have written down "a giant dildo" and seen where that would have taken you. Nothing would be funnier than a child wearing a giant lenis flopping side to side in a Christmas play.

Clearly I can speak from experience that you have a massive cock.

[Joey Russ 7,228]

 

 

 

Typecasting.

you should have written down "a giant dildo" and seen where that would have taken you. Nothing would be funnier than a child wearing a giant lenis flopping side to side in a Christmas play.

Clearly I can speak from experience that you have a massive cock.

I'm no admin, but if I were you, I would recommend you to change that sentence. Just trying to help you there.

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

 

 

 

Typecasting.

you should have written down "a giant dildo" and seen where that would have taken you. Nothing would be funnier than a child wearing a giant lenis flopping side to side in a Christmas play.

Clearly I can speak from experience that you have a massive cock.

 

In your dreams mate, I'd eat you for f ucking breakfast and still have room for a second plate of sausages.

[Toast 16,141]

[Handrejka 1,904]

Can't think about Christmas, I have a wedding (not my own) and a house move (my own) to get through first.

[rockhopper penguin 2,265]

Can't think about Christmas, I have a wedding (not my own) and a house move (my own) to get through first.

It will still happen.

[RadGuy 1,614]

Well, now that Thanksgiving's over, I won't get mad at people anymore for talking about Christmas or listening to Christmas music or whatever.

[charon 4,943]

Working 19/12 through till hogmanay.

 

Yaaay me. I'll avoid all the shite, and can avoid the invites to crimbo dinner.

 

I might live alone, but the dogooding cun.ts don't realise I prefer it that way.

 

So, Hell would be spending Xmas day with them.

[rockhopper penguin 2,265]

Working 19/12 through till hogmanay.

 

Yaaay me. I'll avoid all the shite, and can avoid the invites to crimbo dinner.

 

I might live alone, but the dogooding cun.ts don't realise I prefer it that way.

 

So, Hell would be spending Xmas day with them.

Compliments of the season.

[Deathray 2,940]

Working 19/12 through till hogmanay.

 

Yaaay me. I'll avoid all the shite, and can avoid the invites to crimbo dinner.

 

I might live alone, but the dogooding cun.ts don't realise I prefer it that way.

 

So, Hell would be spending Xmas day with them.

 

To be honest I think it's just courtesy to invite someone on their own over for Christmas, especially they've got no family visiting around the day. That said, I'm not going to be offended if they turn round and tell me they prefer to be alone for it.