Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,218 Posted February 4, 2013 Can anyone make any sense out of this? George Orwell would be proud. Deodorant bottles shrink to 75ml but remain the same price New eco-friendly cans of deodorant go on sale today that contains the same amount of product, but which is half the size. On the basis that our very own Stanley Unwin Scream is, as yet, unavailable ( he cannot get out of his strat jacket) to explain, I shall have a stab at it. Basically, they have reduced the packaging, its weight and the energy used to manufacture it. Because of this,so we are told, the consumer still gets the same quantity if deodorant as before. This, in turn, reduces overall costs to the manufacturer allowing them to spend THIRTEEN MILLION POUNDS on an advertising campaign to tell us so... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lard Bazaar 3,799 Posted February 4, 2013 I'm sure I've said this before, but I wish adverts were just plain and simple. 'Lynx, because you stink' 'Listerine - because you have badger's arse breath' 'Canestan Duo, for your itchy fanny' The best lorry I ever saw had the simple slogan 'EAT MORE CHIPS' on the side of it, no idea what company it was for (although it did almost kill me because I tried to cut it up coming off the motorway at Bath - I would have been happy with that - death by chips). 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,639 Posted February 4, 2013 Lardy's lorries online: http://www.eatmorechips.co.uk/ 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,218 Posted February 4, 2013 I'm sure I've said this before, but I wish adverts were just plain and simple. 'Lynx, because you stink' 'Listerine - because you have badger's arse breath' 'Canestan Duo, for your itchy fanny' The best lorry I ever saw had the simple slogan 'EAT MORE CHIPS' on the side of it, no idea what company it was for (although it did almost kill me because I tried to cut it up coming off the motorway at Bath - I would have been happy with that - death by chips). Andrex now want to know if you "scrunch" or "fold". What the fuck is wrong with them? Does it matter? Why not just ask "How do you wipe the shit from your arse?" Do they REALLY think that a Scrunch or Fold choice puts wiping arseholes into the same ball park as tucking napkins into your fuggin top to stop you spilling soup down your best shirt? Wankers! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lard Bazaar 3,799 Posted February 4, 2013 I'm sure I've said this before, but I wish adverts were just plain and simple. 'Lynx, because you stink' 'Listerine - because you have badger's arse breath' 'Canestan Duo, for your itchy fanny' The best lorry I ever saw had the simple slogan 'EAT MORE CHIPS' on the side of it, no idea what company it was for (although it did almost kill me because I tried to cut it up coming off the motorway at Bath - I would have been happy with that - death by chips). Andrex now want to know if you "scrunch" or "fold". What the fuck is wrong with them? Does it matter? Why not just ask "How do you wipe the shit from your arse?" Do they REALLY think that a Scrunch or Fold choice puts wiping arseholes into the same ball park as tucking napkins into your fuggin top to stop you spilling soup down your best shirt? Wankers! That's another thing that boils my piss - the man of the house INSISTS that we buy Andrex toilet paper, which costs twice as much as Tesco's - he says it's softer on his pert cheeks, I say YOU'RE WIPING YOUR FUCKING ARSE ON IT, DOES IT REALLY MATTER? Scrunch, for the record. Folding has more potential for finger-penetration. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rotten Ali 600 Posted February 4, 2013 "Scrunch, for the record. Folding has more potential for finger-penetration" Or as an old work mate said... Brown ballerina! I go for an extra half sheet... On the first two goes... Use three sheets... Split a typical two ply paper and add each to a the first two full sheets... That way I have 50% thicker starting point... Works like a dream... Any decent supermarket (sainsbury's) own brand quilted is all that's required round our gaff. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Perfect Passing 277 Posted February 4, 2013 I'm sure I've said this before, but I wish adverts were just plain and simple. 'Lynx, because you stink' 'Listerine - because you have badger's arse breath' 'Canestan Duo, for your itchy fanny' The best lorry I ever saw had the simple slogan 'EAT MORE CHIPS' on the side of it, no idea what company it was for (although it did almost kill me because I tried to cut it up coming off the motorway at Bath - I would have been happy with that - death by chips). Andrex now want to know if you "scrunch" or "fold". What the fuck is wrong with them? Does it matter? Why not just ask "How do you wipe the shit from your arse?" Do they REALLY think that a Scrunch or Fold choice puts wiping arseholes into the same ball park as tucking napkins into your fuggin top to stop you spilling soup down your best shirt? Wankers! That's another thing that boils my piss - the man of the house INSISTS that we buy Andrex toilet paper, which costs twice as much as Tesco's - he says it's softer on his pert cheeks, I say YOU'RE WIPING YOUR FUCKING ARSE ON IT, DOES IT REALLY MATTER? Scrunch, for the record. Folding has more potential for finger-penetration. I fold, I does, covers a greater area with each arm action. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bibliogryphon 9,570 Posted February 5, 2013 I'm sure I've said this before, but I wish adverts were just plain and simple. 'Lynx, because you stink' 'Listerine - because you have badger's arse breath' 'Canestan Duo, for your itchy fanny' The best lorry I ever saw had the simple slogan 'EAT MORE CHIPS' on the side of it, no idea what company it was for (although it did almost kill me because I tried to cut it up coming off the motorway at Bath - I would have been happy with that - death by chips). Andrex now want to know if you "scrunch" or "fold". What the fuck is wrong with them? Does it matter? Why not just ask "How do you wipe the shit from your arse?" Do they REALLY think that a Scrunch or Fold choice puts wiping arseholes into the same ball park as tucking napkins into your fuggin top to stop you spilling soup down your best shirt? Wankers! Apparently it is important for the performance of the product in question. US users tend to fold and therefore the penetration strength is critical whereas European customers are generally scrunchers where linear strength is more important. But putting the question on the packs and actually alluding to the process for which people buy the product is a step too far in my British opinion. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,639 Posted July 4, 2013 Dear Deathlist Please help to solve a dilemma faced by my wife and I last night. On inspecting the rear end of one of our cats (Norweigan Forest cat; v. fluffy round the back parts) I discovered a sizeable tag-nut, a real pearler that wouldn't have been out of place in a bag of Revels. Obviously, we immediately booked the cat for a clip and clean with the vet to prevent recurrence of this problem but... Is my wife right is insisting we flush tag nuts down the toilet thus wasting a sizeable amount of water or am I right in suggesting it belongs in the compost bin to nourish our next crop of vegetables? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lard Bazaar 3,799 Posted July 4, 2013 Dear Deathlist Please help to solve a dilemma faced by my wife and I last night. On inspecting the rear end of one of our cats (Norweigan Forest cat; v. fluffy round the back parts) I discovered a sizeable tag-nut, a real pearler that wouldn't have been out of place in a bag of Revels. Obviously, we immediately booked the cat for a clip and clean with the vet to prevent recurrence of this problem but... Is my wife right is insisting we flush tag nuts down the toilet thus wasting a sizeable amount of water or am I right in suggesting it belongs in the compost bin to nourish our next crop of vegetables? What do you usually do with the cat eggs you find in your garden? 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,639 Posted July 4, 2013 Dear Deathlist Please help to solve a dilemma faced by my wife and I last night. On inspecting the rear end of one of our cats (Norweigan Forest cat; v. fluffy round the back parts) I discovered a sizeable tag-nut, a real pearler that wouldn't have been out of place in a bag of Revels. Obviously, we immediately booked the cat for a clip and clean with the vet to prevent recurrence of this problem but... Is my wife right is insisting we flush tag nuts down the toilet thus wasting a sizeable amount of water or am I right in suggesting it belongs in the compost bin to nourish our next crop of vegetables? What do you usually do with the cat eggs you find in your garden? Not generally a problem; our two cats chase the opposition out of the garden; and whey they shit; they bury it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lard Bazaar 3,799 Posted July 4, 2013 Dear Deathlist Please help to solve a dilemma faced by my wife and I last night. On inspecting the rear end of one of our cats (Norweigan Forest cat; v. fluffy round the back parts) I discovered a sizeable tag-nut, a real pearler that wouldn't have been out of place in a bag of Revels. Obviously, we immediately booked the cat for a clip and clean with the vet to prevent recurrence of this problem but... Is my wife right is insisting we flush tag nuts down the toilet thus wasting a sizeable amount of water or am I right in suggesting it belongs in the compost bin to nourish our next crop of vegetables? What do you usually do with the cat eggs you find in your garden? Not generally a problem; our two cats chase the opposition out of the garden; and whey they shit; they bury it. There's your answer then! Get digging! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Banshees Scream 110 Posted September 16, 2013 Is this a mistake? he will not make a deal would that would impose conditions on increasing the nation's debt limit. It has to be. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Birdman YMCMB 0 Posted December 2, 2013 Dear British crackas dat run da Death List, Why da Paul Beara guy be so cranky? When, I postin as a guest to memorlize da Paul Walker cracka, he be deletin my s**t. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Paul Bearer 6,100 Posted December 2, 2013 Dear British crackas dat run da Death List, Why da Paul Beara guy be so cranky? When, I postin as a guest to memorlize da Paul Walker cracka, he be deletin my s**t. Dear Birdman YMCMB Wot chu takin 'bout? PB 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Birdman YMCMB 0 Posted December 3, 2013 Dear British crackas dat run da Death List, Why da Paul Beara guy be so cranky? When, I postin as a guest to memorlize da Paul Walker cracka, he be deletin my s**t. Dear Birdman YMCMB Wot chu takin 'bout? PB Den it wuz someone else. I has been thinkin it wuz you becuz you be deletin a lot of s**t from othas. Maybe it da Netherlandz guy dat alwayz be signin his nam dat be deletin my guest postez. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Magere Hein 1,400 Posted December 3, 2013 Maybe it da Netherlandz guy dat alwayz be signin his nam dat be deletin my guest postez. Riep je? Nee, ik heb geen berichten van je verwijderd. Een andere mod misschien. groet, Hein Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lard Bazaar 3,799 Posted December 3, 2013 Maybe it da Netherlandz guy dat alwayz be signin his nam dat be deletin my guest postez. Riep je? Nee, ik heb geen berichten van je verwijderd. Een andere mod misschien. groet, Hein I think your keyboard is broken. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Paul Bearer 6,100 Posted December 3, 2013 Dear British crackas dat run da Death List, Why da Paul Beara guy be so cranky? When, I postin as a guest to memorlize da Paul Walker cracka, he be deletin my s**t. Dear Birdman YMCMB Wot chu takin 'bout? PB Den it wuz someone else. I has been thinkin it wuz you becuz you be deletin a lot of s**t from othas. Maybe it da Netherlandz guy dat alwayz be signin his nam dat be deletin my guest postez. I be deletin a lot of shit from othas as they be postin a lot of shit! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Magere Hein 1,400 Posted December 3, 2013 Maybe it da Netherlandz guy dat alwayz be signin his nam dat be deletin my guest postez. Riep je? Nee, ik heb geen berichten van je verwijderd. Een andere mod misschien. I think your keyboard is broken. There was certainly something wrong. I can think of several causes, like the phase of the Moon, Earth radiation and General Holistic Interconnectedness, yet I think the most rational explanation is that it was posessed. regards, Hein Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dr. Zorders 1,271 Posted March 8, 2014 My farts smell disgusting lately. Really, it's getting too much. Anyone got any idea why? I don't even eat eggs or baked beans. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rotten Ali 600 Posted March 9, 2014 My farts smell disgusting lately. Really, it's getting too much. Anyone got any idea why? I don't even eat eggs or baked beans. Read this so others don't weep... http://www.med-health.net/Smelly-Farts.html Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
time 8,591 Posted March 26, 2014 Why is inheritance tax abbreviated as IHT? Curious, Milton Keynes Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BrunoBrimley 86 Posted March 30, 2014 My farts smell disgusting lately. Really, it's getting too much. Anyone got any idea why? I don't even eat eggs or baked beans. Because they do. That's all anyone really needs to know, although we are grateful to you for sharing this information so as to know not to get caught in a windowless room or elevator with you. It may interest you (or not) to know that my late and not always beloved Mumsy had a bit of trouble with that issuance thing as well, We never did find out why. Why is inheritance tax abbreviated as IHT? Curious, Milton Keynes Because if it were abbreviated as THI it would be confusing. Seems straightforward enough the way it is. In Heir-itance Tax My neighbor recently disappeared for a while and the police broke down his door to see if he was in there and hurt or alive or even dead. Would he have been suitable material for listing here on DL as he had appeared in several off-Broadway theater productions? (I mean of course, had he been dead. As it turned out he was alive and well and living on a cruise ship) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Deathray 2,940 Posted March 30, 2014 My farts smell disgusting lately. Really, it's getting too much. Anyone got any idea why? I don't even eat eggs or baked beans. Because they do. That's all anyone really needs to know, although we are grateful to you for sharing this information so as to know not to get caught in a windowless room or elevator with you. It may interest you (or not) to know that my late and not always beloved Mumsy had a bit of trouble with that issuance thing as well, We never did find out why. Why is inheritance tax abbreviated as IHT? Curious, Milton Keynes Because if it were abbreviated as THI it would be confusing. Seems straightforward enough the way it is. In Heir-itance Tax My neighbor recently disappeared for a while and the police broke down his door to see if he was in there and hurt or alive or even dead. Would he have been suitable material for listing here on DL as he had appeared in several off-Broadway theater productions? (I mean of course, had he been dead. As it turned out he was alive and well and living on a cruise ship) Depends how big your neighbour is, I'm pretty sure for the DL he'd need to be guaranteed headline news or breaking news slots in British news outlets. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
