dead Jane Goodie

[Youth in Asia 1,086]

Ironically Bernie Taupin was on the same tube train, and inspired by Sir Paul's effort, came up with the following:

 

 

 

Goodbye England's chav,

may you ever grow in our hearts.

You were the minge that placed itself

where other people fart.

 

You called out to Big Brother,

and you caused us so much pain.

Now you want to go to heaven,

which you think you reach by plane.

 

And it seems to me you lived your life

like a dog turd in the street:

never gracefully disappearing

when Big C set in.

And our footsteps will always tread there,

along Essex's greenest hills;

your blonde hair fell out long before

Max Clifford ever will.

 

Goodbye England's chav,

Famed for being a racist with a view,

Now all you've got is your kebab

And that's got cancer too

 

You failed to place East Angular

On an Ordnance Survey map

If I killed you with a Spatula

Would the nation give a crap?

 

(ahh.... sung by the backing singers)

 

And it seems to me you lived your life

like a dog poo by the road:

never melting on the pavement

when your head got cold.

And our footsteps will always tread there,

long after you've had your last pill .......

your blonde hair fell out long before

your husband wrote your Will.

 

 

 

 

to be followed by an emotional speech by Jack Tweedy

[Banshees Scream 110]

She is taking a experimental drug called Topotecan. The drug lowers the blood count which would make her more prone to illness. At this point, it will only kill her faster. I'll change to April 7th, Monoclineek. If that's alright with you.

[Gunjaman5000 30]

She is taking a experimental drug called Topotecan. The drug lowers the blood count which would make her more prone to illness.

A miraculous drug for a miraculous recovery. Maybe she won't be sharing a kebab with Diana in heaven quite so quickly after all.

[BCAlum2000 42]

She is taking a experimental drug called Topotecan. The drug lowers the blood count which would make her more prone to illness.

A miraculous drug for a miraculous recovery. Maybe she won't be sharing a kebab with Diana in heaven quite so quickly after all.

 

Damn! I hope not! It's getting real boring in terms of lack of celebrity deaths.

 

We also haven't had any young celebrities die this year either so Goody would be the first (if she can be considered a "celebrity"). and no, Lux Interior does not count b/c he was already 62 years old.

[Dia de los Muertos 7]

Jade too sick for church baptism.

[honez 79]

Jade ... could barely open her eyes as she lay heavily sedated after an emergency bowel op to ease her agony. ...

He [her husband] arrived with gifts of fresh undies from lingerie shop Intimo and an outfit from fashion chain Zara.

 

A true pillock. Shame she's dying really, they're perfect for each other.

[Cowboy Ronnie 78]

Jade too sick for church baptism.

 

From the same article: "Her spokesman Max Clifford confirmed: “If people go and see her it’s literally a case of her opening her eyes, saying, ‘Hi, how are you?’ and going back to sleep again."

 

If only she had been in that condition when she was on Big Brother.

[Toast 16,129]

I just took a look at the original link.

 

The comments are interesting, and include some lengthy diatribes and a number of recommendations of miracle cures. Amusingly quite a few responders refer to her as "Jane".

[Windsor 2,233]

We are not the only people taking enjoyment from Jade's plight.

 

[To die for 3]

The sweepstake had me wandering around the internet looking for some more appropriate animation:

Wheel of Fortune

 

It seemed somehow...appropriate.

[Toast 16,129]

I've tried to stay away from stories about Jade Goody the last few days, because, frankly, I can't be arsed with it all anymore, however, in a mad moment of boredom this evening, I logged onto the Showbiz forum on Digital Spy. It's quite entertaining, if only for the fact that quite a lot of the posters are clearly illiterate, every second post is from someone who's mum died of cancer, or their brother is a doctor, or their Great Aunt Minge is a cleaner in a community hospital in Outer Fuckwitsville, so of course they KNOW that either A) Jade is a big fat faker and deserves to be shot, or B ) she will turn into an angel in heaven and be the Diana of the 21st Century. I've never read such a load of utter sh*t in my life, both 'for' and 'against' Jade.

 

However, my over-riding thought was 'Mmmm, what would happen if I posted a link to DL on these threads....mwah ha ha' - that should see us some drive-by action!

 

I haven't done it, but if someone double-donkey-dares me to, I will.

Go for it!!!

 

Well, I almost did, but then I thought, hang on, they'll drive by here, see that I was the one that said 'shall I do it', then they will know it was me, and I might get an inbox full of insane chavvy death threats.

 

But I still might.

 

Well, someone has, anyway.

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

I've tried to stay away from stories about Jade Goody the last few days, because, frankly, I can't be arsed with it all anymore, however, in a mad moment of boredom this evening, I logged onto the Showbiz forum on Digital Spy. It's quite entertaining, if only for the fact that quite a lot of the posters are clearly illiterate, every second post is from someone who's mum died of cancer, or their brother is a doctor, or their Great Aunt Minge is a cleaner in a community hospital in Outer Fuckwitsville, so of course they KNOW that either A) Jade is a big fat faker and deserves to be shot, or B ) she will turn into an angel in heaven and be the Diana of the 21st Century. I've never read such a load of utter sh*t in my life, both 'for' and 'against' Jade.

 

However, my over-riding thought was 'Mmmm, what would happen if I posted a link to DL on these threads....mwah ha ha' - that should see us some drive-by action!

 

I haven't done it, but if someone double-donkey-dares me to, I will.

Go for it!!!

 

Well, I almost did, but then I thought, hang on, they'll drive by here, see that I was the one that said 'shall I do it', then they will know it was me, and I might get an inbox full of insane chavvy death threats.

 

But I still might.

 

Well, someone has, anyway.

 

I'd love to take the credit for that.

 

 

So I will.

 

Edit - plenty of visitors, but no 'u r all sick f**ks' posts - disappointing. Don't know why I bother.

[Monoclinic 39]

Look at this sick vile website. Hundreds of people sustaining themselves on morsels of gossip about any two bit pelebrity that happens to be bandied about the Hello OK Red Top media circus. Disgusting, just what has gone wrong with our society today. Have they got nothing better to do Goddamnit?

[Dia de los Muertos 7]

I've tried to stay away from stories about Jade Goody the last few days, because, frankly, I can't be arsed with it all anymore, however, in a mad moment of boredom this evening, I logged onto the Showbiz forum on Digital Spy. It's quite entertaining, if only for the fact that quite a lot of the posters are clearly illiterate, every second post is from someone who's mum died of cancer, or their brother is a doctor, or their Great Aunt Minge is a cleaner in a community hospital in Outer Fuckwitsville, so of course they KNOW that either A) Jade is a big fat faker and deserves to be shot, or B ) she will turn into an angel in heaven and be the Diana of the 21st Century. I've never read such a load of utter sh*t in my life, both 'for' and 'against' Jade.

 

However, my over-riding thought was 'Mmmm, what would happen if I posted a link to DL on these threads....mwah ha ha' - that should see us some drive-by action!

 

I haven't done it, but if someone double-donkey-dares me to, I will.

Go for it!!!

 

Well, I almost did, but then I thought, hang on, they'll drive by here, see that I was the one that said 'shall I do it', then they will know it was me, and I might get an inbox full of insane chavvy death threats.

 

But I still might.

 

Well, someone has, anyway.

Fantastic! Where are the ranters, though?

I predict the ranter hoards will come for Patrick Swayze.

[Sean Better Days 0]

I've tried to stay away from stories about Jade Goody the last few days, because, frankly, I can't be arsed with it all anymore, however, in a mad moment of boredom this evening, I logged onto the Showbiz forum on Digital Spy. It's quite entertaining, if only for the fact that quite a lot of the posters are clearly illiterate, every second post is from someone who's mum died of cancer, or their brother is a doctor, or their Great Aunt Minge is a cleaner in a community hospital in Outer Fuckwitsville, so of course they KNOW that either A) Jade is a big fat faker and deserves to be shot, or B ) she will turn into an angel in heaven and be the Diana of the 21st Century. I've never read such a load of utter sh*t in my life, both 'for' and 'against' Jade.

 

However, my over-riding thought was 'Mmmm, what would happen if I posted a link to DL on these threads....mwah ha ha' - that should see us some drive-by action!

 

I haven't done it, but if someone double-donkey-dares me to, I will.

Go for it!!!

 

Well, I almost did, but then I thought, hang on, they'll drive by here, see that I was the one that said 'shall I do it', then they will know it was me, and I might get an inbox full of insane chavvy death threats.

 

But I still might.

 

 

Well, someone has, anyway.

Fantastic! Where are the ranters, though?

I predict the ranter hoards will come for Patrick Swayze.

 

 

After a quick read I think you are just as likely to get a request for site twinning rather than hoards of ranters.

[Paul Bearer 6,100]

Well, someone has, anyway.

 

I think we might be on course for a few new members. And if you are a new member via the digitalspy site, welcome to deathlist.

[Nell Gwyn 0]

I doubt anyone who likes Jade Goody will join, other than to vent their spleen. DigitalSpy is heavily moderated and the fans like to hide behind that.

[Paul Bearer 6,100]

Oh fer fox sake .......... a JG fridge magnet ...... at time of writing, you have about 50 minutes to ger your bid in. Currently at erm.............99p with no bids.

[the_engineer 1,415]

dead within a week

[Terminator 13]

This really is pissing me off.....

 

I wake up (mid-morning) with a good feeling about the day (especially the last few weeks). All of a sudden, the bbc website has new of Jade Goody on thier home site. Unfortunately, every time I log on.....she's f*cking still here.

 

There was an earlier reference to those US parasites (Oompalumpa Winfrey etc) trying to grab an interview with "Brains of Bermonsey" (I know that area of London well, she could actually fill that role). I hope they do get their wish as this finally will show where Goody's heart/kebab really is. If she only has moments to live, why waste them on interviews when she could spend EVERY last possible moment with her children?

 

As for the cancer reaching her brain, Jade and her mother proved that their brains are COMPLETELY vestigial. Why didn't they just remove her unnnecessary organ and halt the further pervasion of the disease?

[Baron Samedi 0]

The way how The Sun us fawning all over Jade is ridiculous!

 

It's even more laughable considering the way they used to treat her!!

 

Even OK Magazine TV (formerly known as SKY News) is all over her!!!

 

I can't bear it!!!

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

Breaking News on Sky, someone has tried to attack Jade Goody in hospital with a hammer. Now whatever your opinion, I think that is a bit sick.

[Toast 16,129]

Jade threatened by hammer-wielding intruder

 

He's good, that Max Clifford, innee.

[themaninblack 2,112]

Breaking News on Sky, someone has tried to attack Jade Goody in hospital with a hammer. Now whatever your opinion, I think that is a bit sick.

 

I know.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hammers are too blunt. Something precise like a knife would do the trick....

[Monoclinic 39]

Hammers are too blunt. Something precise like a knife would do the trick....

 

Would a kebab skewer do?