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Lord Fellatio Nelson

DL Status Updates: Statements, Obsevations & Verbal Tennis

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Apparently I forgot to send cards this year.
Happy Lincolnshire Day to all my U.K. peeps.  

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2 hours ago, Sir Creep said:

Apparently I forgot to send cards this year.
Happy Lincolnshire Day to all my U.K. peeps.  

 

Thanks. I know right, Lincolnshire Day already?! My god, it comes round quicker every year :party: 

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Never heard of the shithole.

 

Which State is it in?

 

 

 

* assumes 'a state'.

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For lack of anywhere suitable to put it, a snippet from Big Iain about the DDP in 2000 I found amusing:

 

Quote

Wishful Thinking. One person voted for "My Ex-Wife". (Yes, he does know that it's a long shot, and is unlikely to get an obituary in a major paper…but he doesn't care !)

 

 

Oh hell, the whole thing off the Wayback Machine for the 2 folk interested below

 



 

Discussion on Selections

 Obviously, certain names crop up with a strange regularity. These are the "Old Favourites". In the past few years, we've lost some of our most favourite Dead Pool nominees (George Burns, Frank Sinatra, Mother Theresa, Deng Xhiou Peng, etc) but still we have some very popular selections….

Other Meaningless stats…

THE LEADING PACK.

Ronald Reagan - 30 Votes. Now massively affected by Alzheimer's, Ronnie is no longer receiving visitor, and doesn't recognise even close family.

Queen Elizabeth, The Queen Mother - 30 Votes. Still going strong, for a 99 year-old, that is.

The Pope - 27 Votes. Speculation about his successor and / or a retirement is now becoming very open, and recent public appearances have emphasised his frailty.

Bob Hope. - 26 Votes. An incorrect announcement of his demise was swiftly retracted last year, but Bob is still a favourite to rejoin his buddy Bing.

Boris Yeltsin - 26 Votes. His sudden handover of power to Vlad Putin suggest that his years of alcoholism have taken a toll on his health. Easily the youngest of the Leading Pack.

THE CHASING PACK.

Sir John Geilguid - 17 Votes. (The veteran actor was making movies until recently.)

Dudley Moore - 16 Votes. (Suffering a degenerative brain disease, which has escaped my mind at the moment.)

Spike Milligan - 14 Votes. (Driving force behind The Goons; also nominated is fellow Goon - Harry Secombe with 11 Votes.)

Charles Schultz - 12 Votes. (His recent announcement that he would give up writing & drawing the Charlie Brown / Snoopy comic strip made Chuck the highest placed new entry this year.)

Kirk Douglas - 12 Votes. (Another perennial favourite.)

Thora Hird - 12 Votes. (Doyen of the UK TV Sitcom/drama world.)

INTERESTING CHOICES

The Beatles. The remaining Beatles are all nominated : Paul McCartney (2 Votes) George Harrison (2 Votes, both received before his stabbing), Ringo Starr (1 Vote) and Yoko Ono (1 Vote)

Spice Girls. Just 50% of them : Posh (2 votes) and Sporty (1 Vote).

Friends. Five of the six main characters were nominated (1 Vote each)

Wishful Thinking. One person voted for "My Ex-Wife". (Yes, he does know that it's a long shot, and is unlikely to get an obituary in a major paper…but he doesn't care !)

Moors Murderers. Both Ian Brady (6 Votes and Hunger Strike) and Myra Hindley (7 Votes Brain Aneurysm) are popular this year. Good Calls or Wish-Lists ? I don't know.

LOST POPULARITY

Gerry Adams : This year - 1 vote. 1998 - 7 votes. I guess the Peace Agreement has a chance.

Muamar Ghadaffi : This year - no votes. 1998 - 7 votes. <No Comment >

 

 

COMPETITORS

This is our biggest competition yet, with 44 competitors. (Up from 35 in 1999 and 31 in 1998.) Entries have flowed in from Far and Wide (Australia to Scotland, USA to Derby (naturally.) )

CELEBRITIES - NATIONALITY.

Despite being a Dead Pool based in Derby, England, the nominations are not restricted to Brits. From a quick check, of the 371 celebrities nominated, 165 are British, 121 are Americans, and I'm uncertain of 48 of the remaining. (The remaining 37 comprise Sri Lankans, Suth Heffricans, Ozzies, Italians, Russians, etc etc.) So I guess this is still a UK based Dead Pool.

CELEBRITIES - OCCUPATIONS.

Not surprisingly, there is a spread of occupations :

Actors and Moviemakers - 97 celebrities
Businessmen - 7 celebrities
Entertainers and TV personalities - 62 celebrities
Musicians and Singers - 54 celebrities
Politicals - 61 celebrities
Royalty, Religion and Peers - 24 celebrities
Science & Literature - 7 celebrities
Sporty types - 28 celebrities.


…and various folks who's names I don't recognise or don't fit in to these categories.

 

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Skip update.

Oh shit.  I have had a very successful week emptying the condemned shed (it was like the Tardis - every time I moved something out there were six more things stashed behind it).  I packed the skip very very carefully to maximise use of space.  However it soon became apparent that there was no way the shed itself (which is very large) would fit in once dismantled.   We would have to burn it.

OR SO I THOUGHT.

Today the Village Site Foreman - I cannot describe him here but he is a local character and somewhat of a mixed blessing - turned up and demolished the thing single-handed and put the whole lot on the skip.  It's way over the top!  Skip is due to be collected tomorrow and I am not convinced they will take it.  :unsure:

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23 minutes ago, msc said:

For lack of anywhere suitable to put it, a snippet from Big Iain about the DDP in 2000 I found amusing:

 

 

 

Oh hell, the whole thing off the Wayback Machine for the 2 folk interested below

 

 

  Hide contents

 

 


 

Discussion on Selections

 Obviously, certain names crop up with a strange regularity. These are the "Old Favourites". In the past few years, we've lost some of our most favourite Dead Pool nominees (George Burns, Frank Sinatra, Mother Theresa, Deng Xhiou Peng, etc) but still we have some very popular selections….

Other Meaningless stats…

 

THE LEADING PACK.

Ronald Reagan - 30 Votes. Now massively affected by Alzheimer's, Ronnie is no longer receiving visitor, and doesn't recognise even close family.

Queen Elizabeth, The Queen Mother - 30 Votes. Still going strong, for a 99 year-old, that is.

The Pope - 27 Votes. Speculation about his successor and / or a retirement is now becoming very open, and recent public appearances have emphasised his frailty.

Bob Hope. - 26 Votes. An incorrect announcement of his demise was swiftly retracted last year, but Bob is still a favourite to rejoin his buddy Bing.

Boris Yeltsin - 26 Votes. His sudden handover of power to Vlad Putin suggest that his years of alcoholism have taken a toll on his health. Easily the youngest of the Leading Pack.

THE CHASING PACK.

Sir John Geilguid - 17 Votes. (The veteran actor was making movies until recently.)

Dudley Moore - 16 Votes. (Suffering a degenerative brain disease, which has escaped my mind at the moment.)

Spike Milligan - 14 Votes. (Driving force behind The Goons; also nominated is fellow Goon - Harry Secombe with 11 Votes.)

Charles Schultz - 12 Votes. (His recent announcement that he would give up writing & drawing the Charlie Brown / Snoopy comic strip made Chuck the highest placed new entry this year.)

Kirk Douglas - 12 Votes. (Another perennial favourite.)

Thora Hird - 12 Votes. (Doyen of the UK TV Sitcom/drama world.)

INTERESTING CHOICES

The Beatles. The remaining Beatles are all nominated : Paul McCartney (2 Votes) George Harrison (2 Votes, both received before his stabbing), Ringo Starr (1 Vote) and Yoko Ono (1 Vote)

Spice Girls. Just 50% of them : Posh (2 votes) and Sporty (1 Vote).

Friends. Five of the six main characters were nominated (1 Vote each)

Wishful Thinking. One person voted for "My Ex-Wife". (Yes, he does know that it's a long shot, and is unlikely to get an obituary in a major paper…but he doesn't care !)

Moors Murderers. Both Ian Brady (6 Votes and Hunger Strike) and Myra Hindley (7 Votes Brain Aneurysm) are popular this year. Good Calls or Wish-Lists ? I don't know.

LOST POPULARITY

Gerry Adams : This year - 1 vote. 1998 - 7 votes. I guess the Peace Agreement has a chance.

Muamar Ghadaffi : This year - no votes. 1998 - 7 votes. <No Comment >

 

 

COMPETITORS

This is our biggest competition yet, with 44 competitors. (Up from 35 in 1999 and 31 in 1998.) Entries have flowed in from Far and Wide (Australia to Scotland, USA to Derby (naturally.) )

CELEBRITIES - NATIONALITY.

Despite being a Dead Pool based in Derby, England, the nominations are not restricted to Brits. From a quick check, of the 371 celebrities nominated, 165 are British, 121 are Americans, and I'm uncertain of 48 of the remaining. (The remaining 37 comprise Sri Lankans, Suth Heffricans, Ozzies, Italians, Russians, etc etc.) So I guess this is still a UK based Dead Pool.

CELEBRITIES - OCCUPATIONS.

Not surprisingly, there is a spread of occupations :

Actors and Moviemakers - 97 celebrities
Businessmen - 7 celebrities
Entertainers and TV personalities - 62 celebrities
Musicians and Singers - 54 celebrities
Politicals - 61 celebrities
Royalty, Religion and Peers - 24 celebrities
Science & Literature - 7 celebrities
Sporty types - 28 celebrities.


…and various folks who's names I don't recognise or don't fit in to these categories.

 
 

 

 

A "perennial favourite" still kicking 18 years later!

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38 minutes ago, Toast said:

Skip update.

Oh shit.  I have had a very successful week emptying the condemned shed (it was like the Tardis - every time I moved something out there were six more things stashed behind it).  I packed the skip very very carefully to maximise use of space.  However it soon became apparent that there was no way the shed itself (which is very large) would fit in once dismantled.   We would have to burn it.

OR SO I THOUGHT.

Today the Village Site Foreman - I cannot describe him here but he is a local character and somewhat of a mixed blessing - turned up and demolished the thing single-handed and put the whole lot on the skip.  It's way over the top!  Skip is due to be collected tomorrow and I am not convinced they will take it.  :unsure:

Lots of skips nowdays have a 'fill level' marker....which is lower than the top.

Skips should be sheeted over anyway, in transit, so they may be able to get the shed encompassed within it.

Obviously, £20 in the drivers hand might swing the deal too.:D

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Sometimes skips have lids, so you cannot overfill.I assume this is not relevant so I'll shut the fuck up :)

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IT'S GONE!

They weren't supposed to collect it until this afternoon, but as I was getting up I heard a lot of beeping and clanking, cautiously peered out of the window and yes!

So no pleading or bribery required :D  Result!

 

 

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The little fella Warwick Davis.

Barely as tall as Japanese leg amputee but, good grief, his hands are fucking HUGE!!!!!

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Shit on it! Courtesy of a ludicrously busy time at work, I've missed yet another meltdown on here :angry:

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18 minutes ago, The Quim Reaper said:

Shit on it! Courtesy of a ludicrously busy time at work, I've missed yet another meltdown on here :angry:

 

Yeah, I mean, I changed my pick in "Next Meltdown Bingo" from Deathers to someone else in Summer due to his new found... forum sanity, and then this happens!

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I've had a one day First Aid ticket for decades, and in the Summer did the renewal and thought "Great, thats that pish over for another 3 years".

 

Not.

 

Cunts at work are upgrading me to the 3 day course next month.

 

The irony is there is not one fucker there I'd lift a finger for if it goes tits up, throw them a rope maybes :) but they can get stuffed if they think I'll do a splint, apply a plaster etc.

 

November fucking ruined thinking about the shite :(

 

 

However, thanks to the Digital Nun who has just posted this, they do it for dugs tooooooo lol

 

44180460_2306808856217927_89098975823989

 

 

 

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Awwww, that sad little face.

The dog doesn't look happy either.

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Aye, how do you hold an uninjured dug to bandage its head, and what relevance is it to say a devil dug going tits with a forehead gash?

 

 

Hmmmm

 

Actually, get this course and go on standby at your local dug fighting ring.

 

Make a fortune as vets cannot do it....  :sherlock:

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Feels good to know The Cat is watching.

 

Air France lounge in Paris now. 

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18 minutes ago, Bibliogryphon said:

Feels good to know The Cat is watching.

 

Air France lounge in Paris now. 

 

216 miles done and only 5,770 miles to go.  :o  :D

http://www.gcmap.com/mapui?P=lhr-cdg-pvg

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Biblio’s on the second and final leg of his journey to China:

 

Paris Charles de Gaulle to Shanghai Pudong.

https://www.flightradar24.com/CES570/1e4b2b07

 

He's gone to collect his takeaway.  chinese-food.gif

 

Edit: Landed 0620hrs GMT

 

 

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2 hours ago, Bibliogryphon said:

Safely landed in Shanghai. 

Don't use their escalators, their lifts and watch out for drivers who cannot tell the brake from the accelerator.

Be safe!

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There is going to be a massive death this weekend.

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