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Lord Fellatio Nelson

DL Status Updates: Statements, Obsevations & Verbal Tennis

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5 minutes ago, Toast said:

 

i-give-up-ohcono.jpg

cool

 

and don't sell rare things locally

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Jesus_Wept.jpg.259929a9200ab65680dc3e8b10473824.jpg

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2 hours ago, runebomme said:

 the books were university level and not common in every university

 

Flog 'em or give 'em to a library at uni that might need them? 

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I've noticed a few people refer to today as being exactly halfway through the year (not just here, other sites too).

 

I hate to be that guy (well, I say that...) but we won't be exactly halfway through the year for another three days , i.e. at the end of the 183rd day, 3rd July.

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Heard that if you join Tinder and set your preferences to "everyone" then 90% of your matches will be with gay guys. I decided to put it to the test (not solely for the purpose of the experiment, but also since that's where my interests lie, and everyone is inside their homes, desperate for a shag and bored out of their box).

 

Can confirm. All but one of the girls unmatched me ASAP, whilst my DMs are being inundated with male attention. Thoughts and prayers for the average straight man on dating apps.

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10 minutes ago, Clorox Bleachman said:

Heard that if you join Tinder and set your preferences to "everyone" then 90% of your matches will be with gay guys. I decided to put it to the test (not solely for the purpose of the experiment, but also since that's where my interests lie, and everyone is inside their homes, desperate for a shag and bored out of their box).

 

Can confirm. All but one of the girls unmatched me ASAP, whilst my DMs are being inundated with male attention. Thoughts and prayers for the average straight man on dating apps.

 

If your a straight man your preference wouldn't be set to 'everyone'.

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8 minutes ago, Miracle Aligner said:

 

If your a straight man your preference wouldn't be set to 'everyone'.

Well, that has blown him clean out of the water.:lol:

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3 minutes ago, Lord Fellatio Nelson said:

Well, that has blown him clean out of the water.:lol:

Which is the sole purpose of going on dating apps, no? 

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15 minutes ago, Miracle Aligner said:

If your a straight man your preference wouldn't be set to 'everyone'.

No shit I'm not.

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29 minutes ago, Clorox Bleachman said:

Heard that if you join Tinder and set your preferences to "everyone" then 90% of your matches will be with gay guys. I decided to put it to the test (not solely for the purpose of the experiment, but also since that's where my interests lie, and everyone is inside their homes, desperate for a shag and bored out of their box).

 

Can confirm. All but one of the girls unmatched me ASAP, whilst my DMs are being inundated with male attention. Thoughts and prayers for the average straight man on dating apps.

 

2 minutes ago, Clorox Bleachman said:

No shit I'm not.

 

I was responding to this bit.... it doesn't quite make sense with the rest of your post...... 

 

If you can't follow my jist then you've got a bit too much air between your ears.... 

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5 minutes ago, Lard Bazaar said:

Which is the sole purpose of going on dating apps, no? 

Well you tell me!!!

Is that what the long hair is all about?

To make you more alluring and sophisticated for the single men of Wiltshire?:D

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2 minutes ago, Miracle Aligner said:

I was responding to this bit.... it doesn't quite make sense with the rest of your post...... 

 

If you can't follow my jist then you've got a bit too much air between your ears.... 

Just expressing sympathy for straight men if my relative lack of matches is anything to go by.

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18 minutes ago, Clorox Bleachman said:

Just expressing sympathy for straight men if my relative lack of matches is anything to go by.

 

Which it won't be for the very obvious reason... 

 

I feel sorry for the person you match with.. 

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35 minutes ago, Lord Fellatio Nelson said:

Well you tell me!!!

Is that what the long hair is all about?

To make you more alluring and sophisticated for the single men of Wiltshire?:D

I haven’t been on a dating app for a very long time, and the only men I met on them were fucking weirdos. One genuinely looked like Fred Fucking Flintstone, and another was very proud to tell me he managed his money by having separate envelopes to put cash in for different bills, which his mum looked after for him.  One had an actual micro penis. 
 

Anyway I don’t need to make myself more alluring to the men of Wiltshire - I am FAF as fuck already and none of them even bother trying as they know I’m well out of their league.  I could turn Alan Carr, Graham Norton and Rylan all in one go. 

 

 

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5 minutes ago, Lard Bazaar said:

  One had an actual micro penis.

 

That moment when you discover that .....  :o   :facepalm:

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33 minutes ago, Miracle Aligner said:

Which it won't be for the very obvious reason... 

 

I feel sorry for the person you match with.. 

Coming from you of all people!

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1 hour ago, Clorox Bleachman said:

Heard that if you join Tinder and set your preferences to "everyone" then 90% of your matches will be with gay guys. I decided to put it to the test (not solely for the purpose of the experiment, but also since that's where my interests lie, and everyone is inside their homes, desperate for a shag and bored out of their box).

 

Can confirm. All but one of the girls unmatched me ASAP, whilst my DMs are being inundated with male attention. Thoughts and prayers for the average straight man on dating apps.

 

It's that classic thing where bisexuality means being treated as gay but with a slightly niche label. Heaven forfend I might actually be attracted to men and women. :rolleyes:

 

Never used any dating apps but the impression I get from a couple of my mates though is that, given the caliber of most Tinder folk who's attention you get inundated with, you're better off being in, undated.

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23 minutes ago, Lard Bazaar said:

I haven’t been on a dating app for a very long time, and the only men I met on them were fucking weirdos. One genuinely looked like Fred Fucking Flintstone, and another was very proud to tell me he managed his money by having separate envelopes to put cash in for different bills, which his mum looked after for him.  One had an actual micro penis. 
  

Anyway I don’t need to make myself more alluring to the men of Wiltshire - I am FAF as fuck already and none of them even bother trying as they know I’m well out of their league.  I could turn Alan Carr, Graham Norton and Rylan all in one go. 

 

 

Oh, come on.

You have to tell us more!

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3 minutes ago, The Quim Reaper said:

 Heaven forfend I might actually be attracted to men and women. :rolleyes:

 

 

In the words of my hero Linda La Hughes, ‘there ain’t no such thing as bisexuality, it’s just greediness’. 

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Just now, Lord Fellatio Nelson said:

Oh, come on.

You have to tell us more!

Nothing to tell, quite literally!  Calling it tiny would have been over egging the pudding. 

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18 minutes ago, Lard Bazaar said:

In the words of my hero Linda La Hughes, ‘there ain’t no such thing as bisexuality, it’s just greediness’. 

 

Linda La Whatsherface doesn't consider how fucking fussy it makes you with both.

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Nephew's wife has produced their first baby. I am a great uncle for the 3rd time.

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1 hour ago, Great Uncle Bulgaria said:

Nephew's wife has produced their first baby. I am a great uncle for the 3rd time.

You must be on to Tomsk or Orinoco for names.

 

I guess the names can be pansexual? Is that even a word?

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15 hours ago, Lard Bazaar said:

One had an actual micro penis.

So we have met then ;)

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