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Achelous

Bovine Attacks

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Man lucky to be alive after cow attack.

 

Couple hospitalised after cow stampede,

 

Woman trampled to death by cows.

 

All of these stories are from last month. Surely it can only be a matter of time before a famous celebrity meets this fate? Who do you think it will be? My money is on Christopher Timothy, who unwisely comes out of retirement to do a special Christmas Edition of "All Creatures Great and Small", only to be crushed to death whilst filming a calf delivery scene.

 

Please use this thread to record stampedes, tramplings. gorings and other mishaps involving cows.

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Much mirth when I picked up my copy of the Wiltshite Times in Bargain Booze on Friday - the usual jokes of 'he shouldn't have married her then' etc etc. Just as an aside, and an insight into the journalistic expertise employed by our local alternative to bog roll, one of this week's stories went like this (and I quote):

 

'A parked Renault Laguna rolled down a hill in Winsley Road, Bradford on Avon, and collided with a parked Mazda at 720am on Friday. The owners of the vehicles exchanged insurance details.'

 

Really! I could barely contain my shock upon reading this essential public-interest item. I needed to go and have a lay down. FFS.

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Guest brdijoo

I am new here but i think he is right.

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A pilot in New Zealand has been killed after crash landing his plane, trying to avoid cows who had gathered on the runway.

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Cows Go On Killing Rampage ^_^

1252115870-bulls%20runningWEBSITE.jpg

LONDON, England- The deaths of no fewer than four people after being trampled by cows in the past two months has prompted Britain's main farming union to issue a warning about the dangers of provoking the normally docile animals. The current spate of attacks by cows began when Liz Crowsley, a veterinary surgeon, was crushed against a wall and then trampled underfoot while out walking with her two dogs. The fourth fatal attack claimed the life of Harold Lee, a 75-year-old farmer from Burtle in the West Country. He was killed by his own herd. "England has always been nice to her cows and this is how they repay us," said Minister of the Interior, Ian Smithwell Baker. "Would they like it better if we treated them like they do in Spain?"

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Achelous, if the Monkeys still existed, which they don't, I'd like to see this nominated for thread of the year. Thank you for bringing these concerns of bovinophobics everywhere to the attention of Deathlisters who must all feel as privileged as I do that they have been forearmed with the facts should this issue be raised in any forthcoming BBC Questiontime debate, as surely it must be. I, for one, have raised my state of alertness when walking my dogs across fields occupied by these killer beasts. It's one of life's supreme ironies that after our nursery years raised on stories of trolls, dragons and man-eating tigers, our teens drenched in zombie blood-fests and early adulthood fearing sharks, crocodiles and those tiny Amazonian fish called candirus that swim up the urethra, we are confronted with this evidence that all along the real enemy within was a cud-chewing, doe-eyed milker called Daisy.

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I don't know, but I think Achelous might be sulking today...

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I don't know, but I think Achelous might be sulking today...

 

Strange, on a day like this.

 

regards,

Hein

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I don't know, but I think Achelous might be sulking today...

 

Strange, on a day like this.

 

regards,

Hein

 

Does that count towards my 'predict the headline'?

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Dutch bovines can do it too: an agressive bull killed a Frisian man in Noordwolde. Couldn't find the story in English,

so here's a Dutch source.

 

A witness found the body of the victim Saturday around 9 am in a pasture and alerted the emergency services. To allow emergency services to do their work bystanders had to keep the aggressive bull at a distance,

 

According to the police, investigation showed that the bull killed the man. The victim's body has been taken to a morgue.

 

regards,

Hein

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A Palestinian man, dabbling in amateur butchery, has been trampled to death by a cow he was attempting to slaughter in celebration of the end of Ramadan.

 

http://www.nydailyne...ticle-1.1194094

 

Hell hath no fury like something which is about to be dinner.

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