Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,218 Posted May 25, 2020 33 minutes ago, Toast said: If he was scared by threats before, he needs to be very very scared now. I will accept that there have been people ( far left knuckle draggers as opposed to far right ones) who have given him a verbal kicking, outside his home at every opportunity. However, unless I have got this completely arse about, he KNEW when the lock down was going to happen and he COULD have gone up there before hand to stay there. I mean, everybody is now communicating via, is it Zoom? Tik Tok Cock? Etc, etc, etc... People are working from home, video conferencing and the like can have people attend meetings from all over the planet but that utter tosser had to stay in London. Great Father, great intelligence, great big fucking cunt. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toast 16,122 Posted May 25, 2020 I suppose he couldn't wipe Boris's arse via Zoom. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,218 Posted May 25, 2020 28 minutes ago, Toast said: I suppose he couldn't wipe Boris's arse via Zoom. You know what? I was thinking about putting something like that as his reason for staying in London 'to wipe the nose and arse of BJ or summat. Johnson is a dud, a puppet, a running joke and a liar. Boris out! Boris out! 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gooseberry Crumble 5,337 Posted May 25, 2020 42 minutes ago, Toast said: I suppose he couldn't wipe Boris's arse via Zoom. Is that a job you'd be interested in as your unique special contribution to the national effort?! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toast 16,122 Posted May 25, 2020 18 minutes ago, Gooseberry Crumble said: Is that a job you'd be interested in as your unique special contribution to the national effort?! It could be. I have plenty of ideas for what to wipe his arse with. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Miracle Aligner 249 Posted May 25, 2020 To be honest I genuinely think this could be the start of the end for Johnson to the point of Starmer winning a landslide in 2024..... It encapsulates everything that people hate about politicians. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Miracle Aligner 249 Posted May 25, 2020 https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-52801727 Now he's rushing to re-open everything to bury this.. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TQR 14,384 Posted May 26, 2020 Welcome to Barnard Castle 1 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Grim Up North 3,725 Posted May 26, 2020 I must say apart from the above photo Barnard Castle does look lovely - I can imagine it is going to get a boost in visitor numbers thanks to the Cummings going. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
En Passant 3,740 Posted May 26, 2020 https://www.gov.uk/driving-eyesight-rules From which: "You must be able to read (with glasses or contact lenses, if necessary) a car number plate made after 1 September 2001 from 20 metres." So Dom, find a car number plate (oh look there's one on your car) and a tape measure (or pace it out). Save a 30 mile trip, for which "You could be prosecuted if you drive without meeting the standards of vision for driving." So "Let me see if I'm safe to drive 260 miles by driving 30 as a test with possibly defective vision" is actually illegal. And if you're not safe, a 30 mile version of Deathrace 2000 as a test does not cut it even if there was no fucking corona virus you utter cunt. Fuck me, much as I hate little richardjohn: you couldn't make it up. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toast 16,122 Posted May 26, 2020 Since we've established that Mrs Cummings was capable of driving back to London, the eyes story is exposed as a lie anyway. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TQR 14,384 Posted May 26, 2020 38 minutes ago, Toast said: Since we've established that Mrs Cummings was capable of driving back to London, the eyes story is exposed as a lie anyway. And yet, most absurdly, Gove and Johnson are sticking with it! Gove this morning said to LBC’s Nick Ferrari (prick) that he, too, has gone for a test drive to check his eyesight. As if repeating this really odd idea would somehow make it more plausible. And Johnson yesterday, in his briefing, said it’s “very very plausible” because since being ill he now has to wear specs for the first time, despite telling the Maily Dail 6 years ago that he’s “blind as a bat”. I’m laughing as I type this, it’s so fucking daft. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toast 16,122 Posted May 26, 2020 1 hour ago, The Quim Reaper said: And Johnson yesterday, in his briefing, said it’s “very very plausible” because since being ill he now has to wear specs for the first time, despite telling the Maily Dail 6 years ago that he’s “blind as a bat”. I’m laughing as I type this, it’s so fucking daft. It's not that daft, as what he actually said was that he has to wear specs for the first time in ages. From which I inferred that he normally wears contact lenses. What does show the story up as nonsense is describing it as “very, very plausible”. Too much. I might buy "plausible", but "very" is pushing it and two "very"s is laughable. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TQR 14,384 Posted May 26, 2020 As if us calling bollocks to Cummings’ story needed any more to go on, his wife Mary wrote this account of her and Dominic falling ill: So she says Dominic collapsed 24 hours after her. He said yesterday he was driving up the motorway at that point. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gooseberry Crumble 5,337 Posted May 26, 2020 6 minutes ago, The Quim Reaper said: As if us calling bollocks to Cummings’ story needed any more to go on, his wife Mary wrote this account of her and Dominic falling ill: So she says Dominic collapsed 24 hours after her. He said yesterday he was driving up the motorway at that point. Something doesn't add up..... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toast 16,122 Posted May 26, 2020 1 hour ago, The Quim Reaper said: So she says Dominic collapsed 24 hours after her. He said yesterday he was driving up the motorway at that point. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toast 16,122 Posted May 26, 2020 And among the comments, this gem: One thing I've noticed about this whole debacle is that Dominic Cummings is a very slow driver. Travelled 270 miles to Durham and it took the contagious. 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Miracle Aligner 249 Posted May 26, 2020 I know were 4 and a bit years from the election, and polls are essentially a load a shite at the best of times but holy fuck that's fun to see. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tuber Mirum 125 Posted May 27, 2020 So since nobody's going to sack Cummings because he has dirt on them, is anyone likely to murder him? Or does he have an insurance policy hidden away? 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toast 16,122 Posted May 28, 2020 This is brilliant. Enjoy! 1 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TQR 14,384 Posted May 29, 2020 Today’s Page 3 is a stunner! 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Joey Russ 7,220 Posted May 29, 2020 The US is so fucked... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites