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49 minutes ago, The Quim Reaper said:

Think Dominic Raab might be a sensible candidate for the next Tory leader and Prime Minister? Then shower your mind with this logic shampoo. 

 

 

 Dominic Raab is Alan B'Stard.

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The starting field for the Tory leadership election is opening up with 10 MPs announcing intention to stand. If past performance is anything to go by we can expect a few imminent withdrawals when the race gets under way proper in a week or so.

 

Declared Candicacies

 

  • Michael Gove
  • Matt Hancock
  • Boris Johnson
  • Jeremy Hunt
  • Sajid Javid
  • Andrea Leadsom
  • Kit Malthouse
  • Esther McVey
  • Dominic Raab
  • Rory Stewart

Expressed Interest in Standing Publically

 

  • Steve Baker
  • Graham Brady
  • Jesse Norman
  • Pretty Patel
  • Nicholas Soames (

 

  •  

 

 


 


 

 

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Let's have a looksee:

 

Michael Gove - Scottish Tory who can't get elected in Scotland. Has taken EU money calculated by the EU to help Scottish farmers, and spread the vast majority of it in England. Utter backstabber who didn't even follow through on his leadership plans the last time. From a fishing background, but has failed to confirm that foreign fleets will not be able to fish in UK waters after Brexit.

 

Matt Hancock - doesn't seem to have had the problems of his predecessor. Inexperienced in Government and lacks the gravitas and statesmanship needed.

 

Boris Johnson - he UK already looks like tools on the world stage. I guess you might put a toolbox in charge of the tools. Cut from even worse cloth than his Bullingdon chum Cameron and just as out of touch with real world problems. Failed to do anything of note as Foreign Secretary, except piss off other countries' representatives. Said he'd lie down to prevent a third runway at Heathrow, but instead just lied to get elected, conveniently out of the country during the actual debate.

 

Jeremy Hunt - managed to aggravate every single person who worked in the NHS as Health Secretary. As PM he might just aggravate us all into civil discontent. As Foreign Secretary, has taken the credit for certain UK nationals getting treatment and access to consular assistance when it's quite clear others managed those on their own. Theresa's bestie outside of Hammond, probably makes him unelectable as leader.

 

Sajid Javid - Tories might put him in, just so they could say "Look, Labour, we've elected two women as leaders and now we have someone of colour". Electing folk on gender or race alone for the odd point score really hasn't worked out well. Grenfell and Windrush compensation and other associated matters still lie on an apparent back burner. Delivered on more money for policing, failed to deliver more police - how's that for socialism?

 

Andrea Leadsom - unfortunate woman, with an unfortunate habit of opening her mouth when she shouldn't say anything. That's how she did herself last time out. Has had a running feud with Bercow and has come off worst in every exchange in the Commons with him. Has attempted to place legislation before the Commons without proper scrutiny and fails her duties consistently as Leader of the House to represent the interests of the House rather than her glorious leader. Sort of a female William Barr, only obviously worse.

 

Kit Malthouse - who? I had to look him up. So some sort of Under-Secretary at the DWP - well, look at the mess they've made of Universal Credit. Then on to Housing - I'll refer back to Grenfell's unresolved issues. The architect of The Malthouse Compromise on Brexit, which Parliament rejected. If he can't make a success of any of these things, what chance the country?

 

Esther McVey - worked with Eamonn Holmes. As if that wasn't bad enough, two stints at the DWP which has left the benefits system in chaos and disabled people losing their motability cars leading to many becoming housebound and unable to travel to work. Never mind the people who have been sanctioned and died on her watch. Then she lied to the Commons about a National Audit Office report. Possibly the only contender for the leadership to have lost her seat in Parliament at a General Election, and is only sitting there by dint of being parachuted into George Osborne's old seat.

 

Dominic Raab - this guy was Brexit Secretary! Actually in charge of delivering Brexit! And it hasn't! And resigned following the Withdrawal Agreement he was charged with negotiating! Guy's a failure.

 

Rory Stewart - oh yeah, the guy who promised in August 2018 to resign as Prisons Minister if he hadn't sorted the problems out with violence in prisons and drugs in 12 months? How'd that work out? Well, he was moved to International Development well before the expiry of those 12 months. Nothing seems to be getting done and he's now the guy in charge of spending taxpayers' money - abroad! So while the UK moans about how much money leaves the country, he's busy spending it outside the country. How will that go down with pensioners who have to pay for their TV licences soon? Never mind Joe Fucking Soapbox who wants to use that money for "schools, hospitals and all the stuff we used to 'ave guv'nor" rather than Ethiopan girl groups.

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I think Amber Rudd's decision not to run is very wise. I think she has looked at the political landscape and realised her brand of One Nation Conservatism isn't going to wash at the moment. If the Conservatives do split I see her as a potential leader of the resulting centre right party.

One of the problems the hard Brexiteers have is that they seem incapable of any form of compromise, including with each other. Rory Stewart has set himself apart by saying he would not serve with Boris Johnson and whilst he is still committed to delivering Brexit there has to be someone all those One Nation Tories can feel comfortable with, he might be that man. So whilst the right of the party fight like rats in a sack to be more brexity than the next man he might garner enough support to get on to the final ballot. Unless there is a remain candidate.......

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4 hours ago, YoungWillz said:

Let's have a looksee:

 

Michael Gove - Scottish Tory who can't get elected in Scotland. Has taken EU money calculated by the EU to help Scottish farmers, and spread the vast majority of it in England. Utter backstabber who didn't even follow through on his leadership plans the last time. From a fishing background, but has failed to confirm that foreign fleets will not be able to fish in UK waters after Brexit.

 

Matt Hancock - doesn't seem to have had the problems of his predecessor. Inexperienced in Government and lacks the gravitas and statesmanship needed.

 

Boris Johnson - he UK already looks like tools on the world stage. I guess you might put a toolbox in charge of the tools. Cut from even worse cloth than his Bullingdon chum Cameron and just as out of touch with real world problems. Failed to do anything of note as Foreign Secretary, except piss off other countries' representatives. Said he'd lie down to prevent a third runway at Heathrow, but instead just lied to get elected, conveniently out of the country during the actual debate.

 

Jeremy Hunt - managed to aggravate every single person who worked in the NHS as Health Secretary. As PM he might just aggravate us all into civil discontent. As Foreign Secretary, has taken the credit for certain UK nationals getting treatment and access to consular assistance when it's quite clear others managed those on their own. Theresa's bestie outside of Hammond, probably makes him unelectable as leader.

 

Sajid Javid - Tories might put him in, just so they could say "Look, Labour, we've elected two women as leaders and now we have someone of colour". Electing folk on gender or race alone for the odd point score really hasn't worked out well. Grenfell and Windrush compensation and other associated matters still lie on an apparent back burner. Delivered on more money for policing, failed to deliver more police - how's that for socialism?

 

Andrea Leadsom - unfortunate woman, with an unfortunate habit of opening her mouth when she shouldn't say anything. That's how she did herself last time out. Has had a running feud with Bercow and has come off worst in every exchange in the Commons with him. Has attempted to place legislation before the Commons without proper scrutiny and fails her duties consistently as Leader of the House to represent the interests of the House rather than her glorious leader. Sort of a female William Barr, only obviously worse.

 

Kit Malthouse - who? I had to look him up. So some sort of Under-Secretary at the DWP - well, look at the mess they've made of Universal Credit. Then on to Housing - I'll refer back to Grenfell's unresolved issues. The architect of The Malthouse Compromise on Brexit, which Parliament rejected. If he can't make a success of any of these things, what chance the country?

 

Esther McVey - worked with Eamonn Holmes. As if that wasn't bad enough, two stints at the DWP which has left the benefits system in chaos and disabled people losing their motability cars leading to many becoming housebound and unable to travel to work. Never mind the people who have been sanctioned and died on her watch. Then she lied to the Commons about a National Audit Office report. Possibly the only contender for the leadership to have lost her seat in Parliament at a General Election, and is only sitting there by dint of being parachuted into George Osborne's old seat.

 

Dominic Raab - this guy was Brexit Secretary! Actually in charge of delivering Brexit! And it hasn't! And resigned following the Withdrawal Agreement he was charged with negotiating! Guy's a failure.

 

Rory Stewart - oh yeah, the guy who promised in August 2018 to resign as Prisons Minister if he hadn't sorted the problems out with violence in prisons and drugs in 12 months? How'd that work out? Well, he was moved to International Development well before the expiry of those 12 months. Nothing seems to be getting done and he's now the guy in charge of spending taxpayers' money - abroad! So while the UK moans about how much money leaves the country, he's busy spending it outside the country. How will that go down with pensioners who have to pay for their TV licences soon? Never mind Joe Fucking Soapbox who wants to use that money for "schools, hospitals and all the stuff we used to 'ave guv'nor" rather than Ethiopan girl groups.

I think it's about time Chris (failing) Grayling threw his hat into the ring,he'd thrash the lot of them.

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2 minutes ago, redrumours said:

I think it's about time Chris (failing) Grayling threw his hat into the ring,he'd thrash the lot of them.

He has announced he is running, it's just the announcement hasn't arrived yet. :lol:

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1 minute ago, YoungWillz said:

He has announced he is running, it's just the announcement hasn't arrived yet. :lol:

Damn timetables!

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6 hours ago, Bibliogryphon said:

I think Amber Rudd's decision not to run is very wise. I think she has looked at the political landscape and realised her brand of One Nation Conservatism isn't going to wash at the moment. If the Conservatives do split I see her as a potential leader of the resulting centre right party.

One of the problems the hard Brexiteers have is that they seem incapable of any form of compromise, including with each other. Rory Stewart has set himself apart by saying he would not serve with Boris Johnson and whilst he is still committed to delivering Brexit there has to be someone all those One Nation Tories can feel comfortable with, he might be that man. So whilst the right of the party fight like rats in a sack to be more brexity than the next man he might garner enough support to get on to the final ballot. Unless there is a remain candidate.......

 

"Conservatives do split"

 

oh yeah 

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Anyone else increasingly get the feeling the new Tory leader once elected will call a general election. Especially if there no deal as it would run the clock out up to a no deal.

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39 minutes ago, Deathray said:

Anyone else increasingly get the feeling the new Tory leader once elected will call a general election. Especially if there no deal as it would run the clock out up to a no deal.

 

I think they would wait and see if they get a bounce in the poles. It would be helpful if they had something to point to as an achievement. Lord Ashcroft latest polling suggests they would lose over 160 seats and Labour would not get a majority.

 

However Labour would be able to form a majority with either the Lib Dems or the SNP.

 

Until the numbers look better they will not be rushing to the polls unless the have no choice (VONC)

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6 minutes ago, Bibliogryphon said:

 

I think they would wait and see if they get a bounce in the poles. It would be helpful if they had something to point to as an achievement. Lord Ashcroft latest polling suggests they would lose over 160 seats and Labour would not get a majority.

 

Those two things combined would be quite the achievement.

 

Anyhow, this leadership race will run to Conference season, making it too late to have an election this side of October 31st imo.

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11 minutes ago, Bibliogryphon said:

 

I think they would wait and see if they get a bounce in the poles. It would be helpful if they had something to point to as an achievement. Lord Ashcroft latest polling suggests they would lose over 160 seats and Labour would not get a majority.

 

However Labour would be able to form a majority with either the Lib Dems or the SNP.

 

Until the numbers look better they will not be rushing to the polls unless the have no choice (VONC)

Oh no, the Poles won't be voting for them.:D

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54 minutes ago, Deathray said:

Anyone else increasingly get the feeling the new Tory leader once elected will call a general election. Especially if there no deal as it would run the clock out up to a no deal.

The way things are going, we will end up like Italy with coalition governments that collapse every five mins.

 

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2 minutes ago, Lord Fellatio Nelson said:

Oh no, the Poles won't be voting for them.:D

No they will be turned away at the Polling Station :D

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Just now, Bibliogryphon said:

No they will be turned away at the Polling Station :D

Fast move there Bib, fast move!:lol:

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Campbell out for admitting to voting Lib Dem.

 

Others who've now admitted to voting other than Labour:

 

  • Bob Ainsworth (voted Green)
  • Charles Clarke (voted Lib Dem)
  • Fiona McTaggart (voted Lib Dem)

Let's see if they are also kicked out.

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The Dumb, the Dumber and the British

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I'm staggered, frankly. I just can't seem to despise Rory Stewart. I thought his campaign launch was very impressive. 

 

What a shame that, despite being the best candidate for a Prime Minister that might be able to calm our political vitriol down a tad and provide virtuous, measured leadership (fuck, I'm saying this about a Tory!), he's probably not quite Tory enough to get to the final ballot.

 

My hopes lie with Stewart, but my money's on Jeremy Cunt Hunt.

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10 minutes ago, The Quim Reaper said:

I'm staggered, frankly. I just can't seem to despise Rory Stewart. I thought his campaign launch was very impressive. 

 

What a shame that, despite being the best candidate for a Prime Minister that might be able to calm our political vitriol down a tad and provide virtuous, measured leadership (fuck, I'm saying this about a Tory!), he's probably not quite Tory enough to get to the final ballot.

 

My hopes lie with Stewart, but my money's on Jeremy Cunt Hunt.

Victoria Derbyshire - Jeremy Cunt

 

In case anyone hasn’t seen it.

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The leadership candidates therefore are:

Foreign Secretary Jeremy C**t
Former Chief Whip Mark C**t
Environment Secretary Michael C**t
Health Secretary Matt C**t
Home Secretary Sajid C**t
Former Foreign Secretary Boris C**t
Former Leader of the House Andrea C**t
Former Work and Pensions Secretary Esther C**t
Former Brexit Secretary Dominic C**t
International Development Secretary Rory C**t

 

Shamelessly pinched from a mate on facefuck.

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Javid's on the telly making his pitch.

 

Anyone else reminded of the Ferengi in Star Trek? As I recall, their only love was money too....

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On 09/07/2018 at 22:45, msc said:

Whoever was in charge of folding his 2015 election leaflets for the post, though. Legend.

 

Matt-Hancock-cock-leaflet-437949.jpg

 

... is quitting the contest, apparently. Might be good news for Rory "Willz Award Winner for Prisons Minister of the Century" Stewart...

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Matt ‘cock is now backing Johnson in the leadership contest. 

 

In the interests of the people, you understand, not his career. Yeah. My arris.

 

Unprincipled toilet.

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Reflecting on the C4 Tory Leadership debate, I wonder if the BBC debate will be any different to what appeared to be this:

 

Michael Gove: I'm great. I'm really good at what I have done and what I will do. I'm better than everyone here and Boris. I'll do things and they will be done (not telling how) because I'm amazing.

 

Jeremy Hunt: You know, even as Foreign Secretary, I can't tell if my wife is Chinese or Japanese. They all look the same to me. I agree with Rory, a lot. Probably because he looks like he is doing well. I'm not Theresa May in trousers, I don't even own a pair of them in leather that cost £999.

 

Sajid Javid: It doesn't matter about background, gender or race, the best person for leader should be the most talented, and that's me. See what I did there? Played the double bluff race card.  Who else could give more money to the police and not get more police on the beat? I'm a fucking magician from the mean streets of Bristol.

 

Boris Johnson: Didn't turn up and I didn't even send Amber Rudd. I'm going to win, ya pricks.

 

Dominic Rabb: Fuck Parliament and fuck democracy! Down with the MPs blocking my glorious Brexit! I can't even support the Withdrawal Agreement I negotiated! It's crap! I should know, that was me!

 

Rory Stewart: You are all posing as Alpha males when there's not a ripped ab among the 4 of you. I'm listening. I have a plan. Here's my plan. This is how I'm going to do it and not one of you can say how you are going to do your plan. (Uproarious applause). See? They love me because I'm not you.

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