Animal Antics

[Phantom 2,533]

Goat that was "married" to a man dies after choking on a plastic bag

 

After the marriage, Rose had a male kid - but "not a human one"

- BWHAHAHAHAHA

[dave 0]

Seamus the theraputic donkey has died aged 55:

 

http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/tm_headl...-name_page.html

 

"A gentleman called Bill stayed on our farm cottage about four years ago and spent hours each day sitting beside Seamus, talking to him and wondering what he might be thinking.

 

"Bill was a recovering alcoholic and his therapy in the company of Seamus gave him fresh hope."

 

It's worth reading the rest of the article if you want a bit of a laugh (not at the demise of poor Seamus, of course, just the story itself).

actually if you're aqainted with the Daily Recrd you'll know that that's one of the more serious stories you'r e likely to read about in it

[Captain Oates 21]

King Kong lives (and has escaped) :

 

"I saw the animal running through the park with a woman behind him, him grabbing her forearm"

"Everyone was in panic, running away, screaming, wailing... "

[Lady Die 63]

Man trampled by cows....

[Slave to the Grave 26]

Man trampled by cows....

 

This happened to a man in the village I used to live in. The cows chased him and he tried to escape by leaping through a barbed wire fence. His coat got caught on the fence and he was stuck with his legs sticking into the cow field. The cows then deliberately stamped on his legs causing numerous breaks and some rather nasty lacerations. He was psychologically, as well as physically damaged by the whole incident and hasn't worked or gone out very much since.

 

He wasn't a particularly nice man, he once goosed my mum at a New Years eve party whilst they were playing a game which involved putting string down ladies' blouses and up mens' trousers.

[Anubis the Jackal 77]

Man trampled by cows....

He wasn't a particularly nice man, he once goosed my mum at a New Years eve party whilst they were playing a game which involved putting string down ladies' blouses and up mens' trousers.

 

 

 

Now, it would be terribly remiss of me to suggest that your mother was possibly laying herself open to inappropriate sexual advances playing such a game. Was the string attached to spoons perchance? They are a vital part of the game round our parts, especially if frozen beforehand.

[Slave to the Grave 26]

Man trampled by cows....

He wasn't a particularly nice man, he once goosed my mum at a New Years eve party whilst they were playing a game which involved putting string down ladies' blouses and up mens' trousers.

 

 

 

Now, it would be terribly remiss of me to suggest that your mother was possibly laying herself open to inappropriate sexual advances playing such a game. Was the string attached to spoons perchance? They are a vital part of the game round our parts, especially if frozen beforehand.

 

Not remiss at all, it has happened on a few occasions, not all of them involving string. The most recent incident occured during a mammography, according to my father anyway .

 

I can't remember whether there were spoons, I was very young at the time. I do remember that it was creosote coated string so everyone stunk afterwards and had stains on their clothing.

[Captain Oates 21]

"What do you call an angry orangutan?"

[To die for 3]

"What do you call an angry orangutan?"

 

Boris?

[Canadian Paul 97]

Oldest living Melbourne Cup winner euthenized.

[VSBfromH 74]

It is with great sadness that I announce the death of Puddles the Hippopotamus of San Francisco Zoo, at the age of 44.

 

"After 43 years spent pleasing crowds and siring 16 calves at the San Francisco Zoo, Puddles the hippopotamus has died."

 

I'm glad they remembered to put the "and" in the above sentence!

 

Apparently Puddles and his mate Cuddles had been moved to a temporary home whilst their habitat was improved, but this obviously stressed poor Puddles out. Some "improvement" that turned out to be then!

[VSBfromH 74]

Chinese doctor dies after eating blowfish:

 

http://www.radioaustralia.net.au/news/stories/s1936861.htm

 

He obviously hadn't seen that episode of "The Simpsons" where Homer eats the blowfish.

 

There's a certain irony in this news item:

1. Doctor catches blowfish

2. Doctor eats some of blowfish and gives some to another crew member

3. Crew member becomes ill

4. Crew member visits doctor

5. Doctor dies

 

It doesn't state what happened to the crew member. With the doctor being Chinese and the crew member Japanese, could this be some evil plot by the doctor that backfired?

[DevonDeathTrip 2,358]

Sugar Puff, the world's oldest pony, has clippity clop collapsed and died at the age of 56.

[Lady Die 63]

Xiang Xiang, a panda who was released into the wild after being born in captivity, has been found dead

[Dr Strangelove 14]

Xiang Xiang, a panda who was released into the wild after being born in captivity, has been found dead

 

A male, he survived less than 12 months in the wild despite nearly three years of training in survival techniques and defense tactics.

 

Absolutely priceless, what do you suppose panda 'commando school' is like?

[Lady Die 63]

Xiang Xiang, a panda who was released into the wild after being born in captivity, has been found dead

 

A male, he survived less than 12 months in the wild despite nearly three years of training in survival techniques and defense tactics.

 

Absolutely priceless, what do you suppose panda 'commando school' is like?

Probably very similar to SAS training.

[Lady Die 63]

Another animal story...

 

Boy killed by komodo dragon

 

When I was a kid I thought they were called kimono dragons & had this weird vision of a giant lizard in a silk dressing gown.

[To die for 3]

Xiang Xiang, a panda who was released into the wild after being born in captivity, has been found dead

 

A male, he survived less than 12 months in the wild despite nearly three years of training in survival techniques and defense tactics.

 

Absolutely priceless, what do you suppose panda 'commando school' is like?

Probably very similar to SAS training.

Maybe he was just picked on for wearing the wrong type of collar

[Captain Oates 21]

Another animal story...

 

Boy killed by komodo dragon

 

When I was a kid I thought they were called kimono dragons & had this weird vision of a giant lizard in a silk dressing gown.

Hmmm.... A silk dressing gown might hang quite nicely on this chap!

[maryportfuncity 10,646]

Meanwhile, down in the AI lab we've been combining the DNA of a sheep and former Carlisle captain Kevin Gray, shipped the results to Italy cos we didn't fancy being in the proximity.

 

The video!

[To die for 3]

A three headed frog

[Banshees Scream 110]

By any chance, did father Kermit want to name him Stooges? Or is there just no humor in this?

 

A three headed frog

[Canadian Paul 97]

Apparently, the town was no longer big enough for the both of them - "We," the world's longest lived two-headed snake has died.

 

I used to have a pen that looked like them actually.

[Banshees Scream 110]

Two headed creatures and the many deformities of living nature. It's weird but it could be the explanation to many legends told for centuries. The science of those times thousands and thousands of years ago was little if non - existent, through the eyes of ancient people one with a deformity may have been treated as a horrific monster. Especially accounting on the prehistoric creatures that could have still been roaming around then. I'm also always interested to hear complaints of lights in the sky back to date throughout time also, even as they could have been meteorite''s and nobody would have known even if it bit them on the ass.

[Anubis the Jackal 77]

Apparently, the town was no longer big enough for the both of them - "We," the world's longest lived two-headed snake has died.

 

I used to have a penis that looked like them actually.

 

 

 

Blimey.