Maryport's Midsummer Dead Pool 2017

[maryportfuncity 10,592]

21 entrants (20 quickest off the mark plus your host and - ahem - master Maryportfuncity). Competition opens on 1 June with the aim of getting a winner by midsummer's day.

 

 

 

Maryport’s Midsummer Madness Dead Pool 2016 (That’ll be MMMDP to you lot!)

 

 

 

That there masterlist in all its grim glory!

 

 

1.      Shaun of the Dead - Paul van Zandvliet

 

2.      Bibliogryphon - June Lockhart

 

3.      RadGuy - Connie Johnson

 

4.      The Dead Cow - Gloria Fajardo

 

5.      YoungWillz - Hugh Hefner

 

6.      Spade Cooley - Diane Torr (DNS Due to Death)

 

6A - Spade Cooley - Ami Brown

 

7.      CaptainChorizo - Errol Christie

 

8.      Toast – Robin Herd

 

9.      Msc - Gord Downie

 

10.  Joey Russ - Smith Hart

 

11.  Death Impends - Zoltan Sarosy

 

12.  Grave Danger - King Michael of Romania

 

13.  Youwantice… - Burt Reynolds

 

14.  Grim up North - Muhammadu Buhari.

 

15.  The Mad Hatter - Glen Campbell

 

16.  GC Reptile - Kevin Murray

 

17.  Drol - Richard Overton

 

18.  Zsa Zsa’s Leg - Leah Bracknell

 

19.  Fixed Business - Kirk Douglas.

 

20. Book - Bessie Camm

 

21. MPFC - Billy Graham

 

 

 

 

 

 

[maryportfuncity 10,592]

 

And those Rules in Full:

 

1 - The object of the MMMDP is to WIN.

 

2 - To enter the MMMDP a contestant must have: A candidate not selected by another other entrant.
A “candidate” in this context means a living person aged 18 or over who remains alive at midnight on May 31st and is considered likely to cease living soon after and also be capable of gaining a qualifying obit – see rule 9 below – upon death. The only exception to this rule are persons residing on death row with an execution falling within June 2017 (feel free to risk a death rower due to take the final walk from 1 July).

 

3 - Entries open at 9-00am BST on 31st May and close at midnight on 31 May. Entry can only be made by posting the name of a candidate on the MMMDP thread on the Deathlist.

 

4 – The competition is deemed to be open at 00-01 BST hrs on 1 June 2017.

 

5 – Competition ceases on the death of the first nominated pick on the list of candidates and the winner is the dead pooler who has selected said candidate.

 

6 – Entry is limited to 21 players (twenty who are obliged to post entries on the MMMDP thread and Maryport who reserves a right of entry as the master of ceremonies for this endeavour). Presumably the artistic intent is obvious but in case you missed it the idea is to get 21 players to compete for a death within 21 days thereby giving us a victory by midsummer’s day at the latest. If you’re snoozin’ you’re losing.

 

6a – Because he has forced his own entry Maryport guarantees to respect the first 20 qualifying picks and only enter a candidate unselected by the others. Thereby ensuring the really hot selections go to others.

 

7 - In the event that two players select the same candidate the allocation of the pick will go to the player who first posted an entry for that candidate – even if the entry times are within the same minute.

 

8 – In the event that two players tie for victory on the basis of picks expiring on the same day all efforts will be made to ascertain a winner on the basis of the actual time of death. For these purposes local time of death will be translated to GMT if required.

 

9 - An "obit" in the context of the MMMDP is any news report in English from a reliable source. Such sources include - but are not limited to - UK national press, UK national broadcast organisations, foreign press and broadcast organisations with an English language thread to their communication, trade press in English, local news organisations reporting in English and coverage in specialist online sites, such as those monitoring the well-being of super-centenarians. Where dispute arises over the qualifying nature of a news source for obit purposes MPFC's decision is final. But he wants fast and furious competition and is generally very amenable to low hanging dead pool fruit of all varieties.

 

10 – The Raymond Hewlett Memorial Award applies to the MMMDP. In honour of everybody's favourite Maddie-implicated paedo scum a candidate widely believed to be alive when the winner is declared and subsequently proven to have died previously will be awarded victory in the event that a MMMDP qualifying obit subsequently appears for said candidate. In the event that a MMMDP qualifying obit for the candidate is subsequently proven to have existed prior to commencement of the MMMDP all points will be voided. RHME points are only available during competition and in the event that a winner has been declared before discovery of a qualifyiing RHME candidate no revision of the final result will occur. Similarly, if some lucky candidate is awarded RHME victory and this victory – once declared – is proven to be spurious by late discovery of a qualifying obit; the lucky winner will be allowed to keep his/her lucky win.

 

10a – To ensure smooth operation of rule 10 the period for discovery of result altering obits is deemed to be 48 hours plus the remainder of the calendar day in which victory is first claimed. In other words two days and a part of another day.

 

11 - If an obited death occurs during play of the MMMDP and is missed despite MPFC's best efforts to stay in touch and/or the spirited efforts of MMMDP participants and said death is missed in totting up points, after which a winner is declared, then this death will not count for competition purposes. The same is true in the case of a known death gathering a late obit and therefore allowing some other competitor to be declared a winner. All disputes relating to rule 11 will be resolved by the astute judgement of MPFC and there is no appeals procedure (though all sides of opinion are warmly invited to liven up the MMMDP thread by venting their fury).

 

12 - In the event that Deathlist editing options or other online trickery is discovered to have been employed in the editing of entries, those duly fingered for such cheating will be removed from the MMMDP and banned for life from subsequent entry into MMMDPs.

 

13 – In the unlikely event that a pick selected on 31 May fails to mark the start line the entrant selecting said pick will still be deemed to have entered the competition and will have until midnight 1 June to select a new pick (unselected by other entrants). Should the entrant fail to do so no other entrant will be allowed in as a replacement.

 

14 - A prize will be awarded as follows:

i: Should the winner agree to attend a DLCon with MPFC a double measure of alcoholic drinks (pints, wine or spirits) will be supplied by MPFC along with much hearty congratulations and back-slapping.
ii: A carefully chosen and appropriate prize will be posted to the winner (such as the DVD copy of the original Death Race movie supplied to the 2009 Deathrace). iii: MPFC will make a charitable donation to a cause of the winner's choice (as has been the case with six of the seven existing winnings of the Deathrace). This course of action is highly encouraged and is known to show dead poolers as something other than the sicko scum many ranters believe us to be.

 

AND FINALLY...

On completion of MMMDP activities the thread will get lively for a short while as losing contestants and spectactors offer well-deserved congratulations to the skilful and highly talented new champion, after which time it is expected that the cooling corpse of the thread will be allowed to gently sink into oblivion.

 

 

[maryportfuncity 10,592]

Reet we're up and running on - more or less - the same basis as last year. One notable change being death row inmates are allowed but don't count if they go by execution within the month of June. So, you could select a nailed on execution thereafter but risk some low hanger going by natural means well before your banker carks it.

 

Let the form guide postings commence

[maryportfuncity 10,592]

MMDP Form Guide #1

 

Ex-King Mihai (Michael) of Romania

 

 

 

 

 

Looking like the improbable offspring of John Hurt and Yoda the twice-deposed monarch packs old age, a bewildering blitz of life-threatening conditions and a life story to colourful as to ensure a shed load of Q/O coverage will unleash itself before he's cooled after death. Frankly, dead pool wank fodder of the highest order and one who may not make the start line, let alone the end of June.

 

[Grim Up North 3,716]

Mary in Rules 10 and 11 what are these points that get totted up? Is it not just first death wins??

[maryportfuncity 10,592]

Just now, Grim Up North said:

Mary in Rules 10 and 11 what are these points that get totted up? Is it not just first death wins??

 

 

Good question; basically no points involved (it's first or nowhere in this game) but on an agreed death play stops. However, if some low-hanger/marginal obit case also carks it at the same time or earlier we allow TWO DAYS for the media to catch up. After which it's game over. Thereby giving a fair chance and being seen to do the right thing. Clearly, some people obit way too late for this but there are some nailed on obiters - King Mihai/ Glen Campbell and - as we've seen with obscure sports people and the like some who take a while. I'd assume - for example - it might take the word's media a few hours at least to catch up if Anne Hamilton-Byrne goes.

 

That clear?

 

 

[Grim Up North 3,716]

42 minutes ago, maryportfuncity said:

 

 

Good question; basically no points involved (it's first or nowhere in this game) but on an agreed death play stops. However, if some low-hanger/marginal obit case also carks it at the same time or earlier we allow TWO DAYS for the media to catch up. After which it's game over. Thereby giving a fair chance and being seen to do the right thing. Clearly, some people obit way too late for this but there are some nailed on obiters - King Mihai/ Glen Campbell and - as we've seen with obscure sports people and the like some who take a while. I'd assume - for example - it might take the word's media a few hours at least to catch up if Anne Hamilton-Byrne goes.

 

That clear?

 

 

Thanks!

 

There is no way that I will be spending another second of my life searching the internet to establish if A H-B has died so I definitely will not be picking her should she survive to 1st June.

 

With the advent of The Cup I reckon this could produce a fairly taster list of 21 topplers - I'd be surprised if this game lasts a week!

[Sean 6,267]

MMDP Form  Gide #2:

 

Paul Van Zandvliet.Newcatle Falcons legend with terminal cancer in the liver kidneys and brain.Will he make the start line or be a distant memory come June 1st?

[Sean 6,267]

1 hour ago, maryportfuncity said:

21 entrants (20 quickest off the mark plus your host and - ahem - master Maryportfuncity). Competition opens on 1 June with the aim of getting a winner by midsummer's day.

 

 

 

Maryport’s Midsummer Madness Dead Pool 2016 (That’ll be MMMDP to you lot!)

 

 

 

That there masterlist in all its grim glory! (will appear here some time on 1 June)

 

 

 

 

Good game good game!

[Deathray 2,940]

Form Guide 3 - George H.W Bush Sr

 

Has just completely yet another hospital stay and has been dying for months. 

[Spade_Cooley 9,464]

MMDP Form Guide #4

 

 

Charles Van Doren, the Fortnum and Mason's Charles Ingram, still with us at 91 - 70 more than 21. Will he be this year's winning pick? Don't ask me, I don't have the answers.

[Grim Up North 3,716]

MMDP Form Guide #5

 

 

Jean Vorderman

 

The clock's ticking.........

[Joey Russ 7,209]

MMDP Guide #6: David Prowse

 

 

Deathlist thought he was a good pick, so could he die on a midsummer's day?

[YoungWillz 20,899]

MMDP Form Guide #7

 

Could the stress of another General Election do for Theresa May? Could we have another Jo Cox moment? Has she had her chips?

 

[Grim Up North 3,716]

June doesn't sound like her month 

[YoungWillz 20,899]

Just now, Grim Up North said:

June doesn't sound like her month 

Maybe those are her bargaining chips?

[Grim Up North 3,716]

MMDP Form Guide #8

 

Tony Booth -  he's the lucky one - he can't remember who she is but even if he does die his genes will live on in the abomination above.

[Death Impends 7,924]

MMDP Form Guide #9

 

Javier Perez de Cuellar

 

 

The UN man boasts the dubious distinction of being the blandest person alive to still be guaranteed a BBC obituary when they go. If anyone ever reads his life story to him he'd probably die of boredom - but will someone do that at the beginning of June?

[CaptainChorizo 1,968]

MMDP Form Guide #10

 

Elena Verdugo

 

 

Smoking kills,even when it's a former co-star of  Roddy McDowall,Gene Autry and Lou Costello

[Grim Up North 3,716]

MMDP Form Guide #11

 

 

 

Now if we're looking for a candidate with a name appropriate for a Midsummer Death Pool why look any further than June Brown?

[Spade_Cooley 9,464]

MMDP Form Guide #12

 

Isnilon Totoni Hapilon

 

 

Was beheading Americans in the name of Allah years before it became trendy elsewhere. Has been one of the main targets for the US military since 2006, with no success. However, now he's also upset Rodrigo Ridin' Duterte, this flip could be about to get flipped. I don't think Maryport is offering $5m for his death though.

[gcreptile 10,931]

MMDP Form Guide #13

 

Pete Sampras

 

 

Really just a random celebrity if your deadpool requires a couple of names but you think that you already fielded a winning candidate. He probably doesn't have any life-threatening illness - OR DOES HE?

[Joey Russ 7,209]

MMDP Form Guide #14

 

Gregg Allman 

 

His quit tourism for the remainder of the year, so could he be one to meet the grim reaper soon? Maybe with some more rambling...

[The Dead Cow 620]

MMDP Form Guide #15

 

Glen Campbell

 

 

He's had wossitcalled for I can't remember how long now. With his final album due out in June, will he be saying so long, farewell, auf wiedersehen or adieu any time soon, or will the Rhinestone Cowboy still be on the line by the end of April?

[Joey Russ 7,209]

15 minutes ago, The Dead Cow said:

MMDP Form Guide #15

 

Glen Campbell

 

 

He's had wossitcalled for I can't remember how long now. With his final album due out in June, will he be saying so long, farewell, auf wiedersehen or adieu any time soon, or will the Rhinestone Cowboy still be on the line by the end of April?

This is brilliant!