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Right, a spree killer died. I have decided that he was only really famous for being ill. However he is unique too. Either way, 2 points for Death Impends in the early going, who must be confused at not sharing the points with his immediate opposition after March. 1. DDT vs Rad’s Die-monds in the Sky (Rad Guy) 0-0 2. “O” (Gcreptile) vs William Henry Harrison Die-in-a-Month Squad (Death Impends) 0-2 3. 101 Great Practical Jokes with Luciano Re Cecconi (Spade Cooley) vs Deadsox 0-0 4. The GUN’11 (Grim Up North) vs Heef 0-0

1. DDT vs Rad’s Die-monds in the Sky (Rad Guy) 2. “O” (Gcreptile) vs William Henry Harrison Die-in-a-Month Squad (Death Impends) 3. 101 Great Practical Jokes with Luciano Re Cecconi (Spade Cooley) vs Deadsox 4. The GUN’11 (Grim Up North) vs Heef Quarterfinals DDT (Nevin, Al-Baghdadi, Hodgkin S, Hart S, Downie, Richner B, Christie, Knell B, Stros J, Stros S, Perham M) Vs Rad Guy (Betts E, Christie, Downie, Michael, Nevin, Perez J, Perkins C, Purchase M, Rusher B, Van der Laan, Van-Zandvliet) Gcreptile (Nevin, Vennari J, Cahill L, Noriega, Richner B, Stros S, Hamilton-Byrne, Hodgkin, Reid I, Kaur M, Karunanidhi) vs Death Impends (Nevin, Van-Zandvliet, Noriega, Meredith RC, Akhand L, Vennari, Marshall-Everitt B, Modrak T, Levy M, Vang N, Schmidt Fr E) Spade Cooley (Downie, Spada J, Christie, Nevin, Kentner B, Van der Laan, DiMatteo J, Purchase M, Emeteole, Levy M, Vorderman E) vs deadsox (al-baghdadi, Bracknell, Camm B, Rev B Graham, Lakovic, Meads, Michael, Morano, Nevin, Ricketts, Karl) Grim Up North (Downie, Nevin, Christie, Vennari J, Elias, Lakovic, Hamilton-Byrne, Van-Zandvliet, Akhand L, Michael, Vervoort) vs Heef (Kaye T, Bracknell, Downie, Betts E, Campbell G, Lakovic, Nevin, James CLIVE, Bush Sr, Merril D, Klasnic)

And it's QUARTERFINALS time! Bad luck to The Dead Cow, amazing match, my hats off to you. Better luck next time. Also unlucky Garn2, but Heef again shows quality. Now, those drawn games. Actual conversation 5 minutes ago: Wife: What are you doing? Me: Trying to do a penalty shootout via toss of the coin Wife: *laughs hysterically* No street cred, me. Here is the "shootouts". Chorizo (Heads) vs Grim Up North (Tails) - Heads. Chorizo leads 1-0. - Tails. We are drawn at 1-1. - Tails. Grim leads 2-1. - Heads. We are drawn 2-2. - The decider Tails. Grim Up North wins the 50/50 Decider 3-2. Bad luck to Captain Chorizo. Deadsox (Tails) vs Pedro (Heads) - Heads. Pedro leads 1-0. - Tails – 1-1. - Tails. Deadsox leads 2-1. - Tails. - Deadsox wins the 50/50 Decider 3-1. - Bad luck to Pedro

For some reason, I cannot help but read that last one as 'My little whores tough day..'

He looks awful Trackie bottoms and leather shoes - WTF was he thinking!?

March was a really quiet month in the DDP. Many contenders got 0 hits, in fact, I might be the only one who got 2. Incidentally, I believe I'm also player of the month with 23 points. April seems like it will be a high carnage month. Paul van Zandvliet and Catherine Nevin seem like dead-certs this month, and Julia Perez probably won't make it out either. Also, it's about time at least one of Christie/Downie/Michael die.

That was the logic I used for the Nengmy chap since a couple days ago docs said he took a turn for the worse but still had a 50% chance of surviving his injuries. So he would've either been a rather immediate hit, as he turned out to be, or he would've recovered.

Will post my team anyways, just out of interest. Sasha Lakovic, Elias Rayya, Greg Gilbert, Tony Booth, Gord Downie, Leah Bracknell, Catherine Nevin, Peter Sallis, Glen Campbell, Vera Lynn, Father Jacques Clement. Great competition, really enjoyed it.

Well you havent. We live in hope tho.

Thanks Pedro. I appreciate your sportsmanship.

You want us to kerb our pedantry?

Congrats Heef! Needed to focus on avoiding relegation anyway...

Brilliant work overnight msc - that conversation with your wife had me lying in bed chuckling away for about 15 minutes. Unlucky Captain Chorizo - I had accepted that if I lost on the toss it was because Lisa Magill in the month was not enough to win but I'm the lucky one who got away with it.

My mother is 73, has had four heart attacks, two cardiac bypasses (one triple and one quadruple), seven stents, a cardiac ablation, an implanted defibrillator/pacemaker, a CardioMEMS sensor inside her heart, carts around a permanent IV bag with a 24x7 milrinone drip and just kicked a 10 day bout of bronchitis to the curb. Oh, and she works full time and is a practicing witch. While bronchitis is bad I would never count someone out because of it - as long as they can keep it from becoming pneumonia. I don't want to hear about the spelling of 'curb,' either, LFN.

The only one I'm going to call is Spade's and Deadsox's match, and predicting Spade will move on (Ricketts, Stefansson and Bracknell dying in April? I really can't see that with any of them, unless one of them takes a turn for the worse.) Although I did notice RadGuy took one of Spade's uniques away. EDIT: 2 actually! Although I'm surprised Van Der Laan hasn't appeared on more teams.

Catherine Nevin picked by everybody

Good Luck Deadsox

Oh, and you want the Semifinal draw? You can't handle the Semifinal draw!!!! Err, I mean, here it is: 1. Gcreptile or Death Impends vs Grim or Heef 2. Spade or Deadsox vs DDT or Rad Guy

Quarterfinals Masterlist (feel free to point out the usual errors) 1. Akhand, Lucky – GUN, DI 2. Al-Baghdadi – DDT, Deadsox 3. Betts, Emma – RG, Heef 4. Bracknell Leah – deadsox, Heef 5. Bush Sr, George - Heef 6. Cahill, Leo – Gcreptile 7. Camm, Bess – deadsox 8. Campbell, Glen - Heef 9. Christie, Errol – DDT, Spade, GUN, RG 10. DiMatteo, Jason - Spade 11. Downie, Gord – DDT, Spade, GUN, RG, Heef 12. Elias, Rayya - GUN 13. Emeteole, Kelechi – Spade 14. Graham, Rev b - deadsox 15. Hamilton-Byrne – Gcreptile, GUN 16. Hart, Smith - DDT 17. Hodgkin, Stuart – Gcreptile, DDT 18. James, Clive - Heef 19. Kaur, Mohinder – Gcreptile 20. Karunanidhi, M – Gcreptile 21. Kaye, T - Heef 22. Kentner, Barbara – Spade 23. Klasnic, Ivan - Heef 24. Knell, Bill – DDT 25. Lakovic, Sasha – GUN, deadsox, Heef 26. Levy, Michael – Spade, DI 27. Meads, Colin – deadsox 28. Meredith, Roderick - DI 29. Merrill, Dina - Heef 30. Michael of Romania – GUN, deadsox, RG 31. Marshall-Everitt, Barry - DI 32. Modrak, Tom - DI 33. Morano, Emma - deadsox 34. Nevin, Catherine – Gcreptile, DDT, Spade, GUN, deadsox, RG, Heef, DI 35. Noriega, Manuel – Gcreptile, DI 36. Perez, J - RG 37. Perham, Michael – DDT 38. Perkins, Carl (Herbs) - RG 39. Purchase, Michelle – Spade, RG 40. Reid, Iain – Gcreptile 41. Richner, Beat – Gcreptile, DDT 42. Ricketts, Simon – Deadsox 43. Rusher, Brandy – RG 44. Schmidt, Edwin - DI 45. Spada, J – Spade 46. Stefansson, Stefan Karl - deadsox 47. Stros, Jerry - DDT 48. Stros, Susan – Gcreptile, DDT 49. Van der Laan – Spade, RG 50. Vang, Nengmy - DI 51. Van-Zandvliet – GUN, RG, DI 52. Vervoort - GUN 53. Vennari John – Gcreptile, GUN, DI 54. Vorderman, Edwina - Spade

All change for my team, apart from Al-Bagdhadi. Incidentally, I had this really strange dream that he became the new leader of the Liberal Democrats and started advocating against Brexit in the same fashion he has attempted to promote the Islamic cause. Credit to my reserves for getting me this far, but I need a bit more strength and depth in the squad to make progress. Hoping a couple of hitherto unknown signings make the grade.

Its only on the previous page!!!!

< cough >

Some people don't let me have any stalking fun.

...and to continue my assault on pedants who get it wrong, there is nothing wrong with split infinitives. No-one knows where the prejudice came from. Occasionally split infinitives sound clumsy but there' nothing grammatically or syntactically wrong. Indeed the whole sense of the sentence 'the ice failed to completely melt' changes if you unsplit the infinitive. Other than that I haven't the faintest clue what this thread is about.