The English Language

[TQR 14,384]

Glasgow, take a fucking bow you cunts.

 

[Paul Bearer 6,100]

2 hours ago, The Quim Reaper said:

Glasgow, take a fucking bow you cunts.

 

Well, fuck you very much. It does take a lot of effort. 

[torbrexbones 717]

109 v 65 - "Almost Double"

 

Never mind the English Language thread, where is the arithmatic thread?

It is 21 away from being double!

[Grim Up North 3,725]

2 hours ago, torbrexbones said:

109 v 65 - "Almost Double"

 

Never mind the English Language thread, where is the arithmatic thread?

It is 21 away from being double!

With spelling like that I can see why you would feel more at home in the arithmetic thread. 

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,218]

1 hour ago, Grim Up North said:

With spelling like that I can see why you would feel more at home in the arithmetic thread. 

Cruel....but fair.

[torbrexbones 717]

9 hours ago, Grim Up North said:

With spelling like that I can see why you would feel more at home in the arithmetic thread. 

If that is what you took from my post I wonder why I even bother

[MoneySavingExpt 43]

Do you think Barack Obama knows he's an each?
 

 

 

[Cerberus 302]

Just spent an amusing half hour reading this one from the start. I appear to have made a few early posts, though I don't remember them at all. So can I be the first on here to rail against 'train station?'  Literally nobody used that term when I was young. If you wanted to catch a train, or meet someone off the train, you went to the STATION. Yes I know a few larger towns and cities have bus stations, but you could always say 'bus station' to make it clear if that's where you were headed (heading?). This is another US import I suspect. You even see it on signposts now.  

[Toast 16,129]

33 minutes ago, Cerberus said:

 This is another US import I suspect.

 

Yeah, and I saw the BBC describing Marcus Rashford as an "athlete" today.

 

Quote

Marcus Rashford might be a world-class athlete, but he can still see the value in a fish finger sandwich.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-56825700

 

He's not an athlete. Athletes are those sports people who run, jump and throw things.    Marcus Rashford is a footballer. 

[time 8,586]

39 minutes ago, Cerberus said:

Just spent an amusing half hour reading this one from the start. I appear to have made a few early posts, though I don't remember them at all. So can I be the first on here to rail against 'train station?'  Literally nobody used that term when I was young. If you wanted to catch a train, or meet someone off the train, you went to the STATION. Yes I know a few larger towns and cities have bus stations, but you could always say 'bus station' to make it clear if that's where you were headed (heading?). This is another US import I suspect. You even see it on signposts now.  

I'd never considered it a US import - they have/had

railroad stations, whereas we (the British & Irish (?)) have/had railway stations. Now train station seems to be the common name either side of the water.Some musings on it here (from almost 10 years ago), and some graphs charting the decline of 'railway' and the rise of 'train' station usage here, from 6 years ago. 

 

When did we lose aeroplanes and gain airplanes?

[time 8,586]

On 16/04/2021 at 13:42, The Quim Reaper said:

Glasgow, take a fucking bow you cunts.

 

1) Potty-mouthed?? What, are we like all 6 years old again?

 

2) The character Ruth in 'Ozark', played by Julia Garner, would give Tucker a run for his money, I reckon.

[TQR 14,384]

2 hours ago, time said:

The character Ruth in 'Ozark', played by Julia Garner, would give Tucker a run for his money, I reckon.

I never saw Ozark but Tucker’s use of language, leave alone the fact that TTOI normally ran up over 100 fucks an episode, was an absolute art form. 

[Charlotte's Controller 195]

On 22/04/2021 at 20:31, Toast said:

 

Yeah, and I saw the BBC describing Marcus Rashford as an "athlete" today.

 

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-56825700

 

He's not an athlete. Athletes are those sports people who run, jump and throw things.    Marcus Rashford is a footballer. 

 

Footballers, run jump and throw hissy fits.

[Toast 16,129]

5 minutes ago, Charlotte's Controller said:

Footballers, run jump and throw hissy fits.

 

True.  They dive too

But it annoys me that Americans describe ALL sportspeople as "athletes".   Athletics is a specific discipline.

[Cerberus 302]

Slightly disappointed that nobody picked up 'rail against' even though it was unintentional at the time.  

[time 8,586]

What's with people wishing others a "Happy Belated Birthday" these days. It's not the birthday that's 'belated', it's the wish.

[En Passant 3,740]

4 minutes ago, time said:

What's with people wishing others a "Happy Belated Birthday" these days. It's not the birthday that's 'belated', it's the wish.

 

Whilst I concur, this is a can of worms as it's not your birthday in the first place, it's the anniversary of your birthday.

The French have it on this occasion.

[Toast 16,129]

I tend to fall back on "Hope you had a lovely day".

 

If I was in charge of everything, all greetings cards would be "blank for your own greeting".  Many's the time I've picked up a card that would suit the recipient perfectly, only to find it's a sympathy card when I wanted it for a birthday,  a birthday card when I wanted it for a wedding, and vice versa, etc. 

 

Worst of all are those cards addressed to relatives:  "Happy Birthday, Brother".  I've seen people worriedly searching for a kin-appropriate card and advised them that they could actually send a generic birthday card, or even a greetings-free one!  The choice is much greater than they think.  

"It doesn't have to say 'brother' on the card.  He knows he's your brother!"

[msc 18,436]

Dave Gorman had a good rant on Modern Life is Goodish about card companies doing Happy Fathers Day cards for grandfathers and the like.

 

Hilaire Belloc used to send cards to funerals which read: "Sorry to hear you died". 

[Bibliogryphon 9,569]

4 hours ago, Toast said:

I tend to fall back on "Hope you had a lovely day".

 

If I was in charge of everything, all greetings cards would be "blank for your own greeting".  Many's the time I've picked up a card that would suit the recipient perfectly, only to find it's a sympathy card when I wanted it for a birthday,  a birthday card when I wanted it for a wedding, and vice versa, etc. 

 

Worst of all are those cards addressed to relatives:  "Happy Birthday, Brother".  I've seen people worriedly searching for a kin-appropriate card and advised them that they could actually send a generic birthday card, or even a greetings-free one!  The choice is much greater than they think.  

"It doesn't have to say 'brother' on the card.  He knows he's your brother!"

That warrants an outing for the brilliant Fry & Laurie card shop sketch.

 

My Dad was always very good at remembering everyone in the families birthday including all our partners but his eyesight got very bad just before he had to give up living alone. One birthday my wife opened a card from him with beautiful flowers on but it was a with sympathy card. My wife told me that I was absolutely not allowed to tell him. I told the story at his funeral.

[Charlotte's Controller 195]

Mrs Controller made me watch a bit of the Eurovision Song Contest.

 

Two comments

 

Amanda Holden is an embarrassment.

Post Brexit can we stop other countries from singing in English, or at least charge them a substantial fee.

 

On a second matter I hate emails that begin, "I hope you are keeping well" " I am not, but don't wish to impose my situation onto other people.

 

My email protocol is to scare as many people off as possible by being abrupt. It is more efficient long term as it cuts down on idle conversations and people who do not need to "share/offload tasks". 

[Sir Creep 7,070]

5 hours ago, Charlotte's Controller said:

 

On a second matter I hate emails that begin, "I hope you are keeping well" " I am not, but don't wish to impose my situation onto other people.

 

Maybe you should hang out/chat with more Americans, where you’ll never again have to read such horribly stilted English trope.  

[Toast 16,129]

"Keeping well" is an old-fashioned phrase that I haven't come across in years. Has it come back into fashion?  It was something that old people said when I was young.  I remember one fellow of my own age used to say it to my mother, and she used to laugh at him because it sounded really odd coming from a young person. 

[msc 18,436]

2 minutes ago, Toast said:

"Keeping well" is an old-fashioned phrase that I haven't come across in years. Has it come back into fashion?  It was something that old people said when I was young.  I remember one fellow of my own age used to say it to my mother, and she used to laugh at him because it sounded really odd coming from a young person. 

 

Yes, I've heard it quite often (and use it) - its the sort of weak middle of the round "hello I acknowledge you but don't want to intrude too much on your personal life" comment that makes for effective polite reply. Very British imo. As is the answer "Aye, we're alright" or the equivalent!

[Toast 16,129]

In written communications with people I haven't corresponded with recently, I tend to put "Hope all's well with you".  As you say, just a non-intrusive polite wish.  But as for "hope you're keeping well", I haven't heard that in years.  Perhaps it's regional, then.