I'm sure I've said this before, but I wish adverts were just plain and simple.
'Lynx, because you stink'
'Listerine - because you have badger's arse breath'
'Canestan Duo, for your itchy fanny'
The best lorry I ever saw had the simple slogan 'EAT MORE CHIPS' on the side of it, no idea what company it was for (although it did almost kill me because I tried to cut it up coming off the motorway at Bath - I would have been happy with that - death by chips).