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Neither will I.

So he wasn't a robot in disguise then.....

On board the plane the Captain had just finished his announcement about the landing due to happen shortly and forgetting to turn the intercom off he turned to the co-pilot and said "as soon as we land I am going for the most almighty shit and then I'm going to grab that new stewardess with the big tits and fuck the arse off her" Realising what was being said over the loudspeaker, the stewardess made a dash for the front of the plane to tell the captain to turn off the intercom but she tripped and went full length on the floor landing just in front of an old dear sitting in an aisle seat who leaned over and said "it's alright love no need to hurry, he's going for a shit first"

Or at least interviewers.

Don't know about the porridge, but I suppose avoiding men is a useful survival strategy. Dangerous lot, that. She's died, Jessie Gallan at 109. http://news.stv.tv/north/315288-scotlands-oldest-woman-jessie-gallan-dies-at-the-age-of-109/ Maybe the secret to a long life is avoiding interviews.

Got the chop. How many well known butchers are there in Burnley by the way?

Wasn't wasted on me, in fact just last week I watched all 3 series and the Christmas Special on Youtube. One of my favourite shows ever in my otherwise awful childhood. I was considering a DDP team but after counting the actors and even production team I couldn't reach 20. Tragedy of this show is the young man who played Matt the stable lad, Sean Flanagan, died in 1981, only 3 years after the show finished. The quality of actors in this so called children's show is amazing, though I do guess after about three series of "spirit" jokes, you do begin to run out. They don't make them like this any more, sadly.

I have frequently lamented the loss of most of the cast of the BBC children's series Rentaghost with only Sue Nicholls and Christopher Biggins being left but Peter Sallis starred in a series about Ghosts which was contemporary The Ghosts of Motley Hall which has a better track record for cast survival. Of the regular cast only Arthur English has died. Freddie Jones was last seen on Emmerdale, Sheila Stefal is still alive and Nicholas le Provost was on stage recently with Ralph Fiennes. The actor who played the other regular character left the industry. Admittedly many of the guest cast have long depared like Alfred Marks, Joan Sanderson and Brian Wilde. It is worth looking out for as it was inventive and witty and probably wasted on kids.

15 years ago today

Maybe a good time to play a little music and not to think too much about air crashes... https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-h5j_mAEEdw

Thanks all. I owe it to my ability to put forward really old people. And thanks to MPFC, for running this fine game, and for allowing me to put the annual winnings towards Chest Stroke and Heart Scotland. Same time in December then!

Title suggestion for Clarkson's Russian show: Top Bear.

Objection your honour... just shift the onus to the entrant to check for stiffs up until Dec 1st. Problem solved from your workload point if view... BG - I'll update the Hare's Death Pool at the weekend.

Cheers BG, your appreciation is appreciated, and I haven't yet added my congratulations to MSC who nicked it with deft unique-pick jokerage, sprinting out of left field to snatch the title from the runaway leader. That's memorable dead pooling and all round entertainment.

They already have someone to take the place of Zayn Malik at least for the rest of the tour. I'm sure they'll audition someone to come into the band full time for however long their popularity lasts. Is it Jeremy Clarkson?

Grinaidus getting worried on the socialist luvvies behalf..

Today in 1994 Polish tank commander general Stanisław Maczek died, aged 102. In 1944 General Maczek was commander of 1st Armoured Division (Poland) that, as part of the First Canadian Army, fought in Normandy, northern France, Belgium and the southern Netherlands and liberated the Dutch town of Breda on 29 October 1944. After demobilisation in 1948 he was stripped of Polish citizenship by the communists and remained in Britain. As he was not considered by the British to be an Allied soldier, he was denied combatant rights and refused a military pension. As a result, until the 1960s he worked as a bartender at an Edinburgh hotel. He's buried in the Polish military cemetary in Breda. regards, Hein

Dunno, but it's probably got a w and z in it, like every other Polish word...

shut up Imagine pleading guilty to stalking Thora Hird.