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I went into a chemists today and asked, "What's good for killing the Coronavirus?" She said, "Ammonia cleaner". I said, "I'm sorry, I thought you were the pharmacist".

The World Health Organisation has announced that dogs cannot contract Covid-19. Dogs previously held in quarantine can now be released. To be clear, WHO let the dogs out. Patient Bearer BTW not being a drama queen. Just sayin my symptoms. It's only a cold I have.

Just seen this! Excellent to see the whole country coming together during a crisis.

We're at the very foothills of the epidemic...... We could be at several thousand deaths a week from this thing in a matter of week. And people like you trying to brush it off as nothing, still going into work with a high temperature and cough are responsible for increasing those deaths by giving it to people with underlying health conditions. British selfishness astounds me. It's not about you, for once; it's about the people your spreading a deadly virus too...

Boris Johnson is a dork. In a week or two he will eat any of his words or will be lynched.

With regard to hygiene, I've always thought it healthier to have some exposure to dirt and germs as it keeps the immune system ticking over. As my grandmother used to say, "You have to eat a peck of dirt before you die". Although that could be interpreted as it would take that amount of dirt to kill you. Still, the old girl lived to be 100, so she obviously did something right.

To be honest I'd go even more sinister. That Chinese scientist was actively employed to create this virus, as international governments have all secretly agreed to want to reduce the world population.

It will, but until there's a vaccine nothing is going to stop it spreading. And statistics show that the vast majority of people survive it. It's no good pointing the finger at anyone, nobody is to blame for this virus. Conspiracy theories aside.

You can have it for four days without even knowing you have it to be frank, but I get your point. I'm sick death of people taking this piss out of a policy that could save mine and tens of thousand of other people like me's lives. If and when self-isolation comes in, I just hope to god people actually follow it. Not make the most of the free time.

He is only 87.

Do we actually know whether self isolation is actually going to work? It's not like the virus is going to disappear, it is going to stick around now like the flu. When isolation is over, it won't spread like it has, right? I'm not convinced.

Ok, man. Then come here to see how many 50 year old who have a completely normal life go to ICU everyday for this fucking thing. Average obituaries pages for obituary on L'Eco di Bergamo is 2 pages; now it is 10 pages everyday. I see deaths everyday around me and I'm really tired of people who are not in the middle of hell and still make judgements. And God, I don't wish on anyone what we are enduring.

The fate suffered by his paternal great-grandfather back in 1922. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ali_Kemal

BBC reporting 21 deaths UK-wide. (It's like listening to the radio in HP And The Deathly Hallows). Yes, these are the loved ones old Blibberwimble thinks are worth it for the economy. Which is about to be soiled down the bog anyway.

Javier Solana, former NATO secretary, has coronavirus. He is 77.

This will be us in 2 weeks time:

Ah yeah, this one day will totally wipe coronavirus off the face of the earth...

That is hysterical bollocks. Healthcare 'as we know it' will not collapse into a fucking heap, stretched to the limit, yes, collapse, no. Italy doesn't have enough ITU beds/respirators, hence more people are dying. We have enough. The other factor, being trampled to death by mass hysteria, is that, because viral transmission is soaring in one country, it does not necessarily mean ditto elsewhere. The Italians are very tactile people, they greet each other with kisses and handshakes, we, on the other hand, are miserable bastards that don't even know who they have been living next door to for the last 20 years...…. The spread in Italy may have been exacerbated by their culture rather than anything else. People think we all need to live in a bubble, great, it passes you by but comes back again in months. Another 2 week shutdown? How many shut downs are we going to have? Nobody really knows how to combat this, just because, elsewhere, they are shutting the stable doors long after the horse has fucked off doesn't mean that their way is going to solve it.

Fair enough. Well he's probably a lampshade now in some CCP officers home.

I'll take April 4th.

A first for the former young rebel, then He just voted for a guy the same age as him!

I've had reaction (as in ironic appreciative reaction) from listeners when I inflicted the somewhat clumsy lyrics of the b-side of that on them. I'd say this isn't what he intended but...you could hear it as a desperate mother offering to shag a shopkeeper in exchange for a chance to feed her family

K-pop is funded directly by western governments in an attempt to convince North Korean teenagers to turn their back on communism and embrace the joys of shiny capitalism. Similar to how they used to send pirate signals of Dallas and Dynasty behind the Red Curtain in the 80s.