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New official advice from the UK govt:

 

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6 hours ago, The Quim Reaper said:

New official advice from the UK govt:

 

056F638B-628C-4F26-9B27-639A5F636B47.jpeg.74a341109d5ef1bc73b7f5fa665d395b.jpeg

Pretty much.Such a wanker.Said schools are Covid secure after how many outbreaks.

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Can't wait until the media start doing a tally on how many people die of cancer or heart disease every day in the UK.Wont hold my breath.

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31 minutes ago, Sean said:

Can't wait until the media start doing a tally on how many people die of cancer or heart disease every day in the UK.Wont hold my breath.


The deaths won’t count if they have any other underlying health issues or have had cancer or heart disease for more than 28 days.

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1 hour ago, Sean said:

Wont hold my breath.

All the poor cunts dying of the covids don’t have any breath to hold. 

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Another gem from Matt ‘cock.

 

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So current advice for England & Wales (how do you put up with these tossers in charge?)

 

Get up off your lazy arses and get back to work. We will support you if you have no other alternative, but we are not extending the furlough, so you'll have to guess what money to claim. Now get up, get on that packed train, meet as many of your workmates as possible, pop out for lunch, don't worry if there's a queue at Greggs or Subway, back to work, then pop back on a packed train full of different people from the train you were on this morning, pop in to the shop on the way home for bread/milk/fags/crisps,. etc, then get yourself home.

 

Oh, and after meeting all those folk during the day, remember....no more than 6 folk in the house. That should stop the spread of death.

 

What. A. Bunch. Of. Utter. Wankers.

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Have I even got this right?

 

You can't have 7 people in your house or garden as of Monday. However pubs are still open?

So if you wanted 23 mates around, go to the pub, split into four groups of 6 and pretend you don't know each other?

I happen to play in a pool team, it might consist of 6 players sometimes (not that there have been any matches at all, but in theory...), if we play another team of 6 is that two groups of 6 and legal? Or one group of 12 and we all get fined?

 

It's fucking nonsense. 

 

 

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Or...

 

Six friends go to their local hostelry perfectly legally. Another friend they all know pops in....let's call him Iain for a laugh, this guy now has to sit at the bar all alone? And shout across the room? Or maybe one of the original six goes and sits at the next table to make room for Iain to sit with the other five. If so how far away does that table have to be to be considered not part of the same group? 

 

Or,

 

Pubs being pubs, you make new friends (or acquaintances) whilst there, your intention was <6 but has become >6 by accident. Does the landlord ring 999 and dob you all in now? Cutting his profits at the same time? (ofc i say profits, it's probably more cutting his losses but w/e)

 

Or,

 

Actually, that's enough examples (ed).

Ok boss, but it's still fucking nonsense.

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It's certainly taken the fun out of just going to the pub and mingling with whoever's out.  

To be honest I've only had a hazy grasp of the ever-changing rules.   At the start of lockdown it was established that going to your allotment once a day was allowed as your daily exercise. 

A vacant allotment was swiftly adopted as an unofficial pub, where one could turn up with a can of beer, sit the required distance apart and have a natter.   Most days there would be four to six people there in the afternoon/early evening.  Until restrictions were eased, we had no idea that this wasn't OK.  

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1 hour ago, En Passant said:

Or...

 

Six friends go to their local hostelry perfectly legally. Another friend they all know pops in....let's call him Iain for a laugh, this guy now has to sit at the bar all alone? And shout across the room? Or maybe one of the original six goes and sits at the next table to make room for Iain to sit with the other five. If so how far away does that table have to be to be considered not part of the same group? 

 

Or,

 

Pubs being pubs, you make new friends (or acquaintances) whilst there, your intention was <6 but has become >6 by accident. Does the landlord ring 999 and dob you all in now? Cutting his profits at the same time? (ofc i say profits, it's probably more cutting his losses but w/e)

 

Or,

 

Actually, that's enough examples (ed).

Ok boss, but it's still fucking nonsense.

Iain is not allowed to sit at the bar, that contravenes the guidelines. But I get your point; right from the start the guidance/regulation has been so vague it almost as if the government don't want us to understand (I'm not sure they understand it themselves) so that they can blame us.(Not me obviously, I'm not a young person).

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58 minutes ago, time said:

Iain is not allowed to sit at the bar, that contravenes the guidelines

 

I've not actually been to a 'pub' so I wouldn't know, and further, I've not seen this part explicitly anywhere, though I've not been looking for it specifically due to...not having actually been to a pub.

 

The pool part is in fact true, I do belong to a team, and for about the last month or so (or w/e it is) we have been allowed in a club (not a pub) where we practice sensibly keeping a distance, it is after all a game where only one needs to be at the table at any one time. One team member has actually arranged a 'friendly' against local opposition, this has caused enough friction already, and that's due to take place tomorrow so wouldn't fall foul of new laws on Monday. And even then, is it exempt as either, two separate groups of six or not as one group of twelve, and if that latter not exempt anyway as 'an organised sport''?

 

Who was going to be curtain twitching and dobbing a neighbour in for taking two walks in a day? And what prevents that being one neighbours word against another's anyway? Timed video evidence?

The whole legal issue is a joke, an unenforceable law is by definition a bad law (somebody far smarter than me once said...)

 

Why are people still flying around in tin cans with re-circulated air for hours at a time which would be far far easier to proscribe and enforce? To go on holiday? You can't go without a foreign holiday for one year?

It's laughable.

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I read somewhere that the entire air in an aeroplane is filtered out and changed every 4 minutes. One very rarely smells farts in an aeroplane, unless the bloke next to you lets one go, and that may be the reason.

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That big clampdown in Birmingham btw is likely a con

 

Nowt to do with Covid - they're hoping that by stopping too much mingling they finally stamp out that fucking accent!

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2 hours ago, maryportfuncity said:

That big clampdown in Birmingham btw is likely a con

 

Nowt to do with Covid - they're hoping that by stopping too much mingling they finally stamp out that fucking accent!

yer a dead man come next DL Con, bab.

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15 hours ago, time said:

yer a dead man come next DL Con, bab.

 

 

Just for the record, then - national obit chances zero, it'd only count for the likes of Deathrace

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3 hours ago, maryportfuncity said:

 

 

Just for the record, then - national obit chances zero, it'd only count for the likes of Deathrace

I'm planning on getting this lot to do it.

See the source image

National obit assured.

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4 minutes ago, time said:

I'm planning on getting this lot to do it.

See the source image

National obit assured.

 

Not a proper Brummy accent between the lot of them.

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1 hour ago, Toast said:

 

Not a proper Brummy accent between the lot of them.

 

 

A fair point - and they're actors; any three girls from Workington could take the lot of 'em

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8 minutes ago, maryportfuncity said:

 

 

A fair point - and they're actors; any three girls from Workington could take the lot of 'em


Is this a fight or a horrible accent show down?

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The part I'm unsure about is a guy from Brighton threatening death on a guy from the lake district over Birmingham accents. I've been a member here for (looks at profile) apparently 6 or 7 odd years and I'm missing something.

Clearly despite being a self confessed 'drive by poster' I need to turn up at any future dlcon to get a handle on what's going on here.

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10 minutes ago, En Passant said:

The part I'm unsure about is a guy from Brighton threatening death on a guy from the lake district over Birmingham accents. I've been a member here for (looks at profile) apparently 6 or 7 odd years and I'm missing something.

Clearly despite being a self confessed 'drive by poster' I need to turn up at any future dlcon to get a handle on what's going on here.

"Location:Brighton" is not the same as "from Brighton". I am physically a Brightonian, spiritually a Brummie.

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Just now, time said:

"Location:Brighton" is not the same as "from Brighton". I am physically a Brightonian, spiritually a Brummie.

Oh, daft as I am, i figured that bit out. It's the details I'm curious about. (the fact that you and Mary may have met at a DLcon and so forth, the parts that your average bear misses. something occurs here that is obscure to the masses)

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34 minutes ago, En Passant said:

Oh, daft as I am, i figured that bit out. It's the details I'm curious about. (the fact that you and Mary may have met at a DLcon and so forth, the parts that your average bear misses. something occurs here that is obscure to the masses)

I can confirm we've met at a couple of DL Cons, but you're not missing anything. You may be reading too much into a poor joke.

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18 hours ago, Grim Up North said:


Is this a fight or a horrible accent show down?

 

 

A fair point, it'd end up a fight if there was nobody about to translate Wukkie to Brum and back again

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