msc 18,476 Posted February 26, 2017 Just now, deadsox said: I want to make sure I understand the rule that got the Kid suspended. Was it because the joke was offensive or just not funny? If you got banned for terrible jokes, I wouldn't have lasted 5 minutes on here! 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Death Impends 7,979 Posted February 26, 2017 Aye If the joke was unfunny but perfectly innocuous the only punishment would be tomato flinging 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,219 Posted February 26, 2017 28 minutes ago, Death Impends said: Aye If the joke was unfunny but perfectly innocuous the only punishment would be tomato flinging Can you not just have him on a regular ban for being a twat? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,219 Posted February 26, 2017 Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jills fanny But Jack got a shock and a mouthful of cock because Jills a pre op Tranny 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Chopped Liver 53 Posted February 27, 2017 18 hours ago, Lord Fellatio Nelson said: Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jills fanny But Jack got a shock and a mouthful of cock because Jills a pre op Tranny A pre-op tranny? You mean a man then? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,219 Posted February 27, 2017 42 minutes ago, Chopped Liver said: A pre-op tranny? You mean a man then? Im not sure you are getting the hang of this forum. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
charon 4,943 Posted February 27, 2017 A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman try to log into DL. The Scotsman and Englishman start posting, whilst the Irishman sees https 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Chopped Liver 53 Posted February 27, 2017 I greeted the mailman naked yesterday. He was surprised. Not because I was naked, but more because I knew he lived. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lard Bazaar 3,799 Posted February 28, 2017 10 hours ago, Chopped Liver said: I greeted the mailman naked yesterday. He was surprised. Not because I was naked, but more because I knew he lived. This would be funnier if you hadn't missed out a word. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Chopped Liver 53 Posted February 28, 2017 1 hour ago, Lard Bazaar said: This would be funnier if you hadn't missed out a word. Enlighten me to which word I missed out. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Paul Bearer 6,102 Posted February 28, 2017 2 hours ago, Chopped Liver said: Enlighten me to which word I missed out. I'm guessing the word 'where' between 'knew' and 'he'. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,219 Posted February 28, 2017 52 minutes ago, Paul Bearer said: I'm guessing the word 'where' between 'knew' and 'he'. Im guessing MK has got around his ban. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
time 8,616 Posted February 28, 2017 9 hours ago, Chopped Liver said: Enlighten me to which word I missed out. 7 hours ago, Paul Bearer said: I'm guessing the word 'where' between 'knew' and 'he'. Then the word 'as' between 'me' and 'to'. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Death Impends 7,979 Posted February 28, 2017 7 hours ago, Paul Bearer said: I'm guessing the word 'where' between 'knew' and 'he'. That makes a lot more sense then... the original wording made it seem like the joke was about a failed murder plot 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Chopped Liver 53 Posted February 28, 2017 Sorry bout that folks, didn't notice it myself. But 'I knew he lived' does sound quite creepy, yeah. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Chopped Liver 53 Posted March 2, 2017 I went to an Oasis gig with my sister a few years ago. When they came out onto the stage I shouted, "Go Oasis!" Then my sister left. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
drol 11,954 Posted March 11, 2017 On 24/2/2017 at 23:35, Toast said: No, no, no. 5675 other men skin the Jews alive and drink their blood. Maths was never my strong point, but 5678 minus 3 is 5675. The bartender is probably counted in the 5678 men , so it's him and other three, which makes 5764. But I don't know why should him walk into the place he works in with the customers. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
time 8,616 Posted March 11, 2017 24 minutes ago, drol said: The bartender is probably counted in the 5678 men , so it's him and other three, which makes 5764. But I don't know why should him walk into the place he works in with the customers. You're giving morbid dik waaaaaay to much credit if you think he was thinking along these lines! 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,647 Posted March 11, 2017 37 minutes ago, time said: You're giving morbid dik waaaaaay to much credit if you think he was thinking along these lines! Yeah, and - in any case - he's back and could explain himself now 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Death Impends 7,979 Posted March 11, 2017 Just now, maryportfuncity said: Yeah, and - in any case - he's back and could explain himself now Actually he's now on a separate two-week vacation pertaining to certain comments he made in the Room 101 thread. 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dr_T 254 Posted March 13, 2017 In something of a novelty for this thread, here is an actual joke courtesy of Adele. During a power out in a recent Australian concert she came out with this little charmer: What do you call a blonde standing on her head? A brunette with bad breath. It never ceases to amaze me that a woman with such a beautiful singing voice can speak like a wharfie with Tourette's Syndrome whilst sounding like Blakey from On the Buses. Here's a link for the full story. http://www.news.com.au/entertainment/music/tours/adele-drops-xrated-joke-after-temporary-blackout-during-adelaide-show/news-story/5b9c1ed938997609fbd095dca6c6d5d2 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Chopped Liver 53 Posted April 2, 2017 My physics teacher told me that I have potential. Then he threw me off a roof. 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,647 Posted April 4, 2017 A bloke at work was moaning today that his other half spent the whole weekend moaning about his inablity to multi-task; the gave him an earful on Sunday for not talking to her whilst they had sex! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
