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What's Helen Keller's favourite colour for clothes?

 

Corduroy

 

Why did Helen Keller play the piano with one hand?

 

So she could sing with the other.

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Some Dr. Zorders jokes...

 

Q: Why should Dr. Zorders be allowed to return to DeathList?

A: Because everybody deserves a 65358th chance.

 

Q: Why did Dr. Zorders decide to move to Greenland?

A: Because the real estate market is really cheap over there, because there is only one Halibut living there and because when he gets angry and tells someone to kill themself, there's a chance they'll actually listen to his "advice".

 

Q: Why does Dr. Zorders never buy measuring sticks made in Havana?

A: Because he hates Cuban rulers.

 

 

Dr. Zorders, if you happen to read this, remember that it's just for fun. :D

 

Q: Why did Dr. Zorders refuse to buy Apple's new app that contains guides for good death pool picks?

A: Because it was called iSlam Form Guide

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A woman was very distraught at the fact that she had not had a date or any sex in quite some time.

 

She was afraid she might have something wrong with her, so she decided to seek the medical expertise of a sex therapist.

 

Her doctor recommended that she see the well known Chinese sex therapist Dr. Chang.

 

So she went to see him. Upon entering the examination room Dr. Chang said “OK take off all your crose.”

 

The woman did as she was told.

 

“Now get down and craw reery, reery fass to odderside of room.”

 

Again the woman did as she was instructed.

 

Dr. Chang then said “OK, now craw reery, reery fass back to me.” So she did.

 

Dr. Chang shook his head slowly and said, “Your probrem vewy bad. You haf Ed Zachary disease. Worse case I ever see. Dat why you not haf sex or dates.”

 

Worried the woman asked anxiously, “Oh my goodness Dr. Chang what is Ed Zachary Disease?”

 

Dr. Chang sighed deeply and replied, “Ed Zachary Disease is when your face look Ed Zachary like your arse

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Why did Dr Zorders stop posting?

 

A/ he was banned.

 

 

 

Hasn't stopped him.....now that's funny.

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Why did Dr Zorders stop posting?

 

A/ he was banned.

 

 

 

Hasn't stopped him.....now that's funny.

Who is he now then?

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There are only 10 types of people in this world; those who understand binary and those who don't.

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Whats David Camerons favorite Christmas song?

 

All I Want For Christmas is EU.

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There are only 10 types of people in this world; those who understand binary and those who don't.

There are three types of people in this world; those who can count and those who can not.

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What did Syrians have before candles?

 

Lightbulbs

 

 

 

 

How many Syrians does it take to change a lightbulb?

 

One, but she's a chambermaid in London

 

 

 

 

 

What's the most useless thing in Aleppo?

 

An after dinner mint.

 

 

 

 

I've had a pleasant and compassionate Christmas, obviously

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What did Syrians have before candles?

 

Lightbulbs

 

 

 

 

How many Syrians does it take to change a lightbulb?

 

One, but she's a chambermaid in London

 

 

 

 

 

What's the most useless thing in Aleppo?

 

An after dinner mint.

 

 

 

 

I've had a pleasant and compassionate Christmas, obviously

 

Ah, you'll have had a delivery of Christmas Crackers from Russia, obvs....

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Breaking news...

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Carrie Fisher runs into George Michael in the afterlife...
She says, "Oh man, I'm a huge fan! I've got every one of your albums except the first one."
He says, "I find your lack of 'Faith' disturbing".

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Martin Luther King Jr. is trending, please don't tell me he died - I'm too scared to look. :unsure:

Edit: Oh, nevermind, it's only his birthday.

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A family are sat having a breakfast meal with their two daughters.

 

There elder daughter, Mary starts drinking a couple of vodkas. The wife turns to the father and says "You really need to talk to Mary about her alcohol problem."

The husband sits down calmly "Come on Mary, we're going down the pub for a chat about how alcohol isn't the answer to all your problems."

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Ripped from a FB friend - but it made me laugh: Remembering that time, 8 years ago, when they let the Celebrity Big Brother house see Obama's inauguration, and Coolio was moved to tears. Can you imagine that today? Watching Celebrity Big Brother?

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Ripped from a FB friend - but it made me laugh: Remembering that time, 8 years ago, when they let the Celebrity Big Brother house see Obama's inauguration, and Coolio was moved to tears. Can you imagine that today? Watching Celebrity Big Brother?

Can't imagine it today. Couldn't imagine it then.

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Diana Rots winning the DDP.

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hank god I went to a psychic
She told me someone was
Going to swindle me out of
Some money best £100 quid
I've ever spent

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hank god I went to a psychic

She told me someone was

Going to swindle me out of

Some money best £100 quid

I've ever spent

I'm not sure I wanna know what to 'hank' someone means.

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hank god I went to a psychic

She told me someone was

Going to swindle me out of

Some money best £100 quid

I've ever spent

I'm not sure I wanna know what to 'hank' someone means.

 

 

 

Aye, my bad - clearly lost a letter when I ripped it from FB

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A female midget goes into the Doctors and says

"Doctor, I've got a really sore fanny."

The Doctor takes a look and gets out a huge pair of scissors.

The midget panics and shouts "Doctor! what are you going to do with those scissors"?

The Doctor says "Don't worry, I'm only going to cut a couple of inches off your welly tops".

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What's the difference between ignorance and apathy?

Don't know and don't care

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Some dude asked "did you mother smoke crack?" My response- "Just because yours did doesn't mean everyone's did"

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