Football

[Guest Construction worker]

Welling Utd fans responding to Maidstone's keeper as he lets in a soft goal in a 4-0 defeat recently. People can be so cruel.

We'd try it at the Deva, but a/ we never score and b/ we don't have enough fans.

Not even enough to call him a nut?

 

You only need one fan to perform this...

 

Young man, there's no need to feel down.

I said, young man, get yourself to Chester's ground.

I said, young man, just 'cause your font makes me frown.

There's no need to be unlucky.

 

Young man, there's a place you can go.

I said, young man, when you're watching your foe.

You can stay there, and I'm sure you will find

Many ways to have a good time.

 

It's fun to mock the poor c-u-n-t.

It's fun to mock the poor c-u-n-t.

 

They have everything for you men to enjoy,

You can hang out with all the boys ...

 

It's fun to stay at the D.E.V.A.

It's fun to stay at the D.E.V.A.

 

You can say you were robbed, you can have pies and ale,

You can do nowt but fail...

 

Young man, are you listening to me?

I said, young man, what do you want to be?

I said, young man, you can make real your dreams.

But you got to know this one thing!

 

No man does it all by himself.

I said, young man, put your (London) pride on the shelf,

And just go there, to the D-E-V-A.

I'm sure they can help you today.

 

It's fun to mock the poor c-u-n-t.

It's fun to mock the poor c-u-n-t.

 

They have everything for you men to enjoy,

You can hang out with all the boys ...

 

It's fun to stay at the D.E.V.A.

It's fun to stay at the D.E.V.A.

 

You can get yourself cleaned, you can have a good meal,

You can do whatever you feel ...

 

Young man, I was once with the seals.

I said, I was down and out on my 'eels.

I felt no man cared if I were alive.

I felt the whole world was so tight ...

 

That's when someone came up to me,

And said, young man, take a walk up the street.

There's a place there called the D-E-V-A.

They can start you back on your way.

 

It's fun to stay at the c-u-n-t.

It's fun to stay at the c-u-n-t.

 

They have everything for you men to enjoy,

You can hang out with all the boys ...

 

c-u-n-t ... you'll find it at the c-u-n-t.

 

Young man, young man, there's no need to feel down.

Young man, young man, get yourself off the ground.

 

D-E-V-A... you'll find it at the D-E-V-A.

 

Young man, there's no need to sit there and fester.

Young man, go and put the win back in chester.

 

D-E-V-A... just go to the D-E-V-A.

 

Young man, young man, are you listening to me?

Young man, young man, what do you wanna be?

 

 

The c-u-n-t song is open to more tweeking by obliging DL members, the writer got bored halfway through.

[honez 79]

Good to see Wrexham's first game in the badlands saw them demolish Stevenage 5-0. After such a good start, it's all gonna be downhill from here.

[Terminator 13]

Good to see Wrexham's first game in the badlands saw them demolish Stevenage 5-0. After such a good start, it's all gonna be downhill from here.

 

Have all the other grounds got sloping pitches?

[maryportfuncity 10,647]

Good to see Wrexham's first game in the badlands saw them demolish Stevenage 5-0. After such a good start, it's all gonna be downhill from here.

 

Carlisle stumbled round in such company for a season, it's not the disaster some think so long as the club manages to look forward. We had us a song: 'We're all going on a Conference holiday, beating teams we always wanted to, fun and laughter on a Conference holiday, for a year, not two, for a year, not two-oo.'

 

I'm sure Wrexham could substitute Blue Square for Conference.

[harrymcnallysblueandwhitearmy 1,689]

Live on Sky... ... and our boys took a hell of a beating. No, Godot & Vinegar Tits, you can't play us every week. Still, let's not forget 1974...

 

Elsewhere, Exeter lost at home to Southampton. Plenty of other League Cup shocks too.

[Terminator 13]

Steve McLaren deludes himself into thinking he can speak a foreign language.

 

 

 

Post moved - LG

Edited August 14, 2008 by Lady Grendel

[TAFKAG 70]

It's time for Adrian Mutu to break open his piggy bank. He owes Chelsea £13.68m.

 

That's one expensive line of blow.

[maryportfuncity 10,647]

WTF is it with Steve McClaren?

[Godot 149]

WTF is it with Steve McClaren?

I notice he speaks in clipped "you speaky no English" fashion. Jerk.

 

Whoops, sorry Terminator, just read back, see that was your point. Me no understand.

[Cowboy Ronnie 78]

Bottom three teams in Conference North are Hucknall, Hyde and Fleetwood Town. It's rock n' roll football.

[Guest American Indian]

Welling Utd fans responding to Maidstone's keeper as he lets in a soft goal in a 4-0 defeat recently. People can be so cruel.

We'd try it at the Deva, but a/ we never score and b/ we don't have enough fans.

Not even enough to call him a nut?

 

You only need one fan to perform this...

 

Young man, there's no need to feel down.

I said, young man, get yourself to Chester's ground.

I said, young man, just 'cause your font makes me frown.

There's no need to be unlucky.

 

Young man, there's a place you can go.

I said, young man, when you're watching your foe.

You can stay there, and I'm sure you will find

Many ways to have a good time.

 

It's fun to mock the poor c-u-n-t.

It's fun to mock the poor c-u-n-t.

 

They have everything for you men to enjoy,

You can hang out with all the boys ...

 

It's fun to stay at the D.E.V.A.

It's fun to stay at the D.E.V.A.

 

You can say you were robbed, you can have pies and ale,

You can do nowt but fail...

 

Young man, are you listening to me?

I said, young man, what do you want to be?

I said, young man, you can make real your dreams.

But you got to know this one thing!

 

No man does it all by himself.

I said, young man, put your (London) pride on the shelf,

And just go there, to the D-E-V-A.

I'm sure they can help you today.

 

It's fun to mock the poor c-u-n-t.

It's fun to mock the poor c-u-n-t.

 

They have everything for you men to enjoy,

You can hang out with all the boys ...

 

It's fun to stay at the D.E.V.A.

It's fun to stay at the D.E.V.A.

 

You can get yourself cleaned, you can have a good meal,

You can do whatever you feel ...

 

Young man, I was once with the seals.

I said, I was down and out on my 'eels.

I felt no man cared if I were alive.

I felt the whole world was so tight ...

 

That's when someone came up to me,

And said, young man, take a walk up the street.

There's a place there called the D-E-V-A.

They can start you back on your way.

 

It's fun to stay at the c-u-n-t.

It's fun to stay at the c-u-n-t.

 

They have everything for you men to enjoy,

You can hang out with all the boys ...

 

c-u-n-t ... you'll find it at the c-u-n-t.

 

Young man, young man, there's no need to feel down.

Young man, young man, get yourself off the ground.

 

D-E-V-A... you'll find it at the D-E-V-A.

 

Young man, there's no need to sit there and fester.

Young man, go and put the win back in chester.

 

D-E-V-A... just go to the D-E-V-A.

 

Young man, young man, are you listening to me?

Young man, young man, what do you wanna be?

 

 

The c-u-n-t song is open to more tweeking by obliging DL members, the writer got bored halfway through.

The ending:

 

Young man, you can win if you try.

Young man, don't look back or ask why

Young man, though your font makes me cry

There's no need to feel defeated.

[maryportfuncity 10,647]

Oi!

 

 

League One

P W D L Pts GD

1. Carlisle United 2 2 0 0 6 +3

2. Oldham Athletic 2 2 0 0 6 +3

3. Leicester City 2 1 1 0 4 +2

[welshman 31]

Wrexham's Racecourse has been officially recognised as the oldest football stadium in the world still hosting international games.

Mecca

[maryportfuncity 10,647]

The Marycopter is primed with fuel, shortly we will set the controls for the heart of Leyton High Road. Expect banter on our return.

[maryportfuncity 10,647]

King Kev apparently on the brink of parting company with NUFC, the issue of promised funds failing to appear being at the heart of the rift. Assuming all the rumours etc are true expect an explosion of calls for Alan Shearer to take over.

[harrymcnallysblueandwhitearmy 1,689]

King Kev apparently on the brink of parting company with NUFC, the issue of promised funds failing to appear being at the heart of the rift. Assuming all the rumours etc are true expect an explosion of calls for Alan Shearer to take over.

What a palaver. What with the Berbatov, Barry, Robinho et al sagas, the Premier League is getting nuttier/Hollywoodier by the day.

 

Biggest sports league in the world? You bet.

[VSBfromH 74]

Ah the joys of being a Manchester City fan!

 

Robinho here. By January he will be joined by Kaka, Ronaldo (Cristiano, but why not throw in the fat one for good measure?), David Villa, Messi et al.

 

Or maybe it'll be down to earth with a bump and time to bring Dickov back for his third spell...

 

(After all, we've still got Danny Mills on the books!)

[maryportfuncity 10,647]

Alan Curbishly unemployed. Doubtless people will start tutting about managers going so early in the season but this lot are rank amateurs. I mean, Carlisle sacked Neil McDonald 41 hours into last season!

[themaninblack 2,112]

Alan Curbishly unemployed. Doubtless people will start tutting about managers going so early in the season but this lot are rank amateurs. I mean, Carlisle sacked Neil McDonald 41 hours into last season!

 

That's nothing, Leroy Rosenior was sacked after TEN minutes when in his second 'spell' at Torquay United....

[Canadian Paul 97]

When all else fails, score a goal

for the win.

[Dave to the Grave 11]

First, team colour coffins, now this. Get even more out of them, even after death. What ever happened to the impromptu scattering of someones ashes prior to kick off? No money in it I suppose.

[maryportfuncity 10,647]

Does anyone here support Northampton Town? If so, congratulations on your acquisition - on loan - of former Carlisle favourite Karl 'Hit Man' Hawley, pictured here shortly before throwing up at an awards dinner.

 

[maryportfuncity 10,647]

Funniest football joke of the year here.

[Octopus of Odstock 2,197]

The mighty Reading are so good, we don't even have to put the ball past the goal-line any more to score goals.

 

However, if this is a goal, then we should've won most of our matches 38-32.

 

A UFO goal. Can you see where the ball crosses the line? Nope, I can't either...

[themaninblack 2,112]

Joe Kinnear takes the fight to the journalists...

 

"You're a C**t"