Room 101

[Windsor 2,233]

Hayfever . Mine kicked in today with a vengeance, it's been sunny for a few days so some of my neighbours decided to mow their lawns, as a result my eyes are red, swollen and itchy and I've been sneezing all day, I had to go for a lie down this evening I felt so ill. I find there are no pills that help me, I have nasal sprays and eye drops, but you have to start taking them for a month before they do any good and going by the rainfall in the last couple of months I didn't think they would be necessary. I must be one of the few people that prays for Indian Summers. Roll on August when the pollen season is over .

 

Edit: Out of curiosity I checked how many times I've posted in this thread (using Godot's guidance post from a while back), a shocking 36 posts (must try harder!), I must really be that grumpy old git my family swear I am! At least it's not as much as Windsor's contribution, he has a whopping 109 posts, fantastic, keep up the good work W . I am the 6th top poster in this thread, thankfully, beaten only by the aforementioned W, Banshees, Monoclinic, Godot and Lard Bazaar.

 

LG, did you know you can get injections for hayfever? I only found that out yesterday. I don't have hayfever, but aparently my friend does and he gets injections for it.

 

109 posts eh? Just confirms what we all knew - I'm a moaning bastard.

[CarolAnn 926]

<sarcasm> Texas is the place to be if you have allergies. </sarcasm>

 

Texas has one explosive growing season before everything dies from the heat in the summer. Everyone here has allergies and everyone is on one or another or multiple prescriptions from February to June.

 

The really lucky kids are the ones with asthma. The air in Dallas is so ick that we have one of the highest rates of childhood asthma in the country. You know you're in trouble when your city holds its own against Los Angeles.

 

I can't take antihistamines because I take lithium. I just take everyone's head off during the spring. It doesn't stop my eyes from itching but it is peculiarly satisfying.

[Windsor 2,233]

May Day.

 

Stagecoach, the company with a monopoly in the market in this area, have decided that nobody needs to get to Aberdeen before 10.15am today! Oh but wait! I do!

 

I turned yo for my usual 7.45am bus only to find that the first bus that was going to come would be at 8.59am. I had an appointment at 9.15am. Now I'm going to miss it. Bunch of dickheads.

[Guest MC Hammer]

May Day.

 

Stagecoach, the company with a monopoly in the market in this area, have decided that nobody needs to get to Aberdeen before 10.15am today! Oh but wait! I do!

 

I turned yo for my usual 7.45am bus only to find that the first bus that was going to come would be at 8.59am. I had an appointment at 9.15am. Now I'm going to miss it. Bunch of dickheads.

It's been a while since I turned yo.

[Windsor 2,233]

May Day.

 

Stagecoach, the company with a monopoly in the market in this area, have decided that nobody needs to get to Aberdeen before 10.15am today! Oh but wait! I do!

 

I turned yo for my usual 7.45am bus only to find that the first bus that was going to come would be at 8.59am. I had an appointment at 9.15am. Now I'm going to miss it. Bunch of dickheads.

It's been a while since I turned yo.

 

 

That should read "I turned up".

 

Bloody Sunday service indeed! It's not Sunday, it's Monday!

[Cowboy Ronnie 78]

I turned yo for my usual 7.45am bus only to find that the first bus that was going to come would be at 8.59am. I had an appointment at 9.15am. Now I'm going to miss it. Bunch of dickheads.

It's been a while since I turned yo.

 

Happens all the time in Spain.

[Godot 149]

Dribbly stuff down jam jars and treacle tins. I hate stickiness and I really hate stuff that goes down the side of the jar. The worst for this is Tate & Lyle Golden Syrup, honey and Marmite.

 

At last Marmite has brought out an upside down squeezy jar that dispenses with the need to use a spoon or knife where you are torn between waiting for a break in the endless dribble or "going for it," leaving a bit down the side. Unless these bits are wiped scrupulously it leads to a gunged-up lid. I would rather watch 90 minutes of Dale Winton than handle a gunged-up sauce bottle or jam jar. The only thing worse would be dribbly stuff down Dale Winton.

 

 

A young Dale Winton with Marmite.

[Windsor 2,233]

This is an extract from an email I received in my uni email address today:

 

"Further to our conversation I can confirm Aberdeen University Students will be

offered a discounted rate for General seating which will cost them £60.00 + Vat per

person. The code they will need when booking is AUSTUDENT."

 

General seating for what, I hear you ask? General seating to hear a lecture by former US president Bill Clinton. Well, for those prices, he can go f**k himself.

[honez 79]

This is an extract from an email I received in my uni email address today:

 

"Further to our conversation I can confirm Aberdeen University Students will be

offered a discounted rate for General seating which will cost them £60.00 + Vat per

person. The code they will need when booking is AUSTUDENT."

 

General seating for what, I hear you ask? General seating to hear a lecture by former US president Bill Clinton. Well, for those prices, he can go f**k himself.

Who is this General Seating? Is he a five-star General, like General Pershing, or General Patton? If so, sixty quid seems quite reasonable. Hopefully he'll be in his formal dress uniform and have that little poke-stick tucked under his arm like I've seen some generals have in the movies.

[TAFKAG 70]

This is an extract from an email I received in my uni email address today:

 

"Further to our conversation I can confirm Aberdeen University Students will be

offered a discounted rate for General seating which will cost them £60.00 + Vat per

person. The code they will need when booking is AUSTUDENT."

 

General seating for what, I hear you ask? General seating to hear a lecture by former US president Bill Clinton. Well, for those prices, he can go f**k himself.

Who is this General Seating? Is he a five-star General, like General Pershing, or General Patton? If so, sixty quid seems quite reasonable. Hopefully he'll be in his formal dress uniform and have that little poke-stick tucked under his arm like I've seen some generals have in the movies.

I believe he's the CO in charge of Major Disaster, Corporal Punishment and Private Parts.

[harrymcnallysblueandwhitearmy 1,696]

1. Workmen who start digging up the pavement outside my house at 7.54 on a Saturday morning so they can earn their exorbitant overtime pay and be in the pub by noon. And the people from the council who sanction it.

 

2. Randy urban foxes (animal, not human) who start yowling outside my window at 2am every night from November to March, and then proceed to tear up every bin bag left out on the street by idiots too lazy to put them in a wheelie bin.

 

3. Daddylonglegs that make me fall off chairs trying to whack 'em while slightly tipsy on a Friday night.

 

 

 

On the bright side, I'm going to Kent for the weekend. Er, hang on a minute...

[The Four Horsemen 26]

1) People wearing tracksuits who clearly haven't done any exercise for over 10 years

2) Tourists on the underground who think a tube map at the top of escalators are designated meeting points

3) People who think Eastenders is quality television and a true depiction of life in the east end

4) Lazy/vindictive/rabble rousing journalism

5) Footballers who celebrate scoring like you would if you'd found a cure for cancer, won the lottery and saved the planet from certain destruction

6) TV executives who think anything requiring one iota of thought or featuring a semblence of culture is too highbrow

 

I've only been up half an hour, I'm sure some more things will annoy me later on

[Madame Defarge 21]

Leafblowers, on any morning but especially on Saturday or Sunday, when there are usually 2 or 3 of them fired up at once to produce the most dreadful surroundsound effect which must surely be the soundtrack in the foulest pit of hell. Just another reason why I love rainy days in the summertime.

[Banshees Scream 110]

1) People wearing tracksuits who clearly haven't done any exercise for over 10 years

I agree with you. Every time I see an obese person wearing sweat suits for example, I tell myself 'they have truly robbed the healthy population of a clothing style!' More people with compartments of fat are wearing sweat suits then the average jock who goes running. In today's world sweat pants are generally accepted as an obese clothing style while they were designed for the athlete. It's pretty funny when you think about it.

[Anubis the Jackal 77]

If I can dig it out, I once took an excellent photograph of a particularly large young lady wearing an exercise top emblazoned with the word "ATHLETIC"

She's looking at the camera like a primitive tribeswoman fearing the magic box will steal her soul. I had to jog off at a slow canter to escape her considerable wrath after I took it.

 

 

1) People wearing tracksuits who clearly haven't done any exercise for over 10 years

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,221]

If I can dig it out, I once took an excellent photograph of a particularly large young lady wearing an exercise top emblazoned with the word "ATHLETIC"

She's looking at the camera like a primitive tribeswoman fearing the magic box will steal her soul. I had to jog off at a slow canter to escape her considerable wrath after I took it.

 

 

1) People wearing tracksuits who clearly haven't done any exercise for over 10 years

I find this post utterly offensive, perverted and strangely arousing.

Hurry up and post the pic, Im not sure how much longer I can hang on....

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,221]

Oh, and while Im here.

The next person I show courtesy to, by pulling my car in so that they can come past me, letting them out from a side

road/ parking space infact ANY act of politeness that isnt at the very least acknowleged let alone thanked, will have me catching up with them, pulling them from their vehicle and ramming my car jack right up their a**e!

Ignorant bastards!

[Guest Scot]

Oh, and while Im here.

The next person I show courtesy to, by pulling my car in so that they can come past me, letting them out from a side

road/ parking space infact ANY act of politeness that isnt at the very least acknowleged let alone thanked, will have me catching up with them, pulling them from their vehicle and ramming my car jack right up their a**e!

Ignorant bastards!

 

Why do DeathListers hate pets? I've got a pet dog - a Red Setter puppy called Tess - and I wouldn't be without her. She's a lovely young dog and I spoil her rotten.

[Paul Bearer 6,119]

Why do DeathListers hate pets? I've got a pet dog - a Red Setter puppy called Tess - and I wouldn't be without her. She's a lovely young dog and I spoil her rotten.

 

You ARE Iain in disguise

[Banshees Scream 110]

I have to disagree with you, HCW. Iain wouldn't have the grammatical capabilities that this 'Scott' has. I actually believe he may just be 'a guest'.

 

Scott reminds me of the South Park creators in this video 'Fire side chats with Matt Stone and Trey Parker' ..

[Guest Scot]

Hi to BansheeScream, The Miser and all our American friends on the Forum. As a Brit I know absolutely nothing about American football - so I don't know who Jack Ramsay is. My sport is the football we play - the one you call soccer. I have been to America before - to New York and Las Vegas. As you will have gathered, I am British - Scots, actually. I now live in Newcastle - upon - Tyne - but I was born and raised in Glasgow - where I have an undying devotion to my native soccer team - Celtic. The city I live in now has a great tradition of soccer as well - and I am now a fully welcome member of the Toon Army - the supporters of Newcastle United.

 

Let me just assure everyone on here who still thinks I'm gay, a thief or a bad person, I'm just a young guy of nearly 25, single, working as a hospital porter, and I just enjoy clubbing, shopping, travelling, watching Newcastle Utd, and chilling out in my flat with Tess.

[honez 79]

Let me just assure everyone on here who still thinks I'm gay, a thief or a bad person, I'm just a young guy of nearly 25, single, working as a hospital porter, and I just enjoy clubbing, shopping, travelling, watching Newcastle Utd, and chilling out in my flat with Tess.

This is not an online dating agency. I suggest you PM Banshees if you want to get to know each other better.

[Lard Bazaar 3,800]

Let me just assure everyone on here who still thinks I'm gay, a thief or a bad person, I'm just a young guy of nearly 25, single, working as a hospital porter, and I just enjoy clubbing, shopping, travelling, watching Newcastle Utd, and chilling out in my flat with Tess.

This is not an online dating agency. I suggest you PM Banshees if you want to get to know each other better.

 

 

Damn, I was kind of hoping to pull Lord Fellatio.

[Lard Bazaar 3,800]

None of the Smart boys are gay. David's got a girlfriend, Darren and Stuart both like girls - and I'm single.

 

 

Nowt like stating the obvious - you'll be telling us next that bears sh*t in the woods!

[Guest Jill]

Hi to BansheeScream, The Miser and all our American friends on the Forum. As a Brit I know absolutely nothing about American football - so I don't know who Jack Ramsay is. My sport is the football we play - the one you call soccer. I have been to America before - to New York and Las Vegas. As you will have gathered, I am British - Scots, actually. I now live in Newcastle - upon - Tyne - but I was born and raised in Glasgow - where I have an undying devotion to my native soccer team - Celtic. The city I live in now has a great tradition of soccer as well - and I am now a fully welcome member of the Toon Army - the supporters of Newcastle United.

 

Let me just assure everyone on here who still thinks I'm gay, a thief or a bad person, I'm just a young guy of nearly 25, single, working as a hospital porter, and I just enjoy clubbing, shopping, travelling, watching Newcastle Utd, and chilling out in my flat with Tess.

 

None of the Smart boys are gay. David's got a girlfriend, Darren and Stuart both like girls - and I'm single.

 

 

Scot, I know you are a close family but there are things that are just not Scottish to talk about. I think it might explain why David keeps trying to put his tool in the wrong hole. However many times I tell him that it's not right.

 

David's girl doesn't post on here - she's called Jill - and she's a nurse back home. They met last New Year's Eve.

 

I do so. Nursing and death go hand in hand.

 

Give Tess a stroke for me. She's a lovely dog.