Lard Bazaar 3,799 Posted March 1, 2017 On 28/02/2017 at 16:14, Lord Fellatio Nelson said: Well, at this moment in time, I want to put razors into the room. Last week I had to have an ECG which, surprise surprise, didnt come out properly because the young nurse avoided shaving my chest when I pointed out to her that, if she did, Id look like I had mange. So, one week on, Ive just got back from seeing the nurse ( another one) where we both agreed that shaving my body hair was an unavoidable option should I be deemed too hairy. Nursie took one look at my chest and said 'Ther is hairy and there is HAIRY and you are HAIRY. I now have a fucking chest that looks like she has taken a fucking Lawn Mower across it. Im not happy. Funnily enough I also had an ECG on Monday afternoon. Surprisingly I didn't have to have my chest shaved. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Youwanticewiththat 611 Posted March 2, 2017 Are either Lardy or LFN obit-able? Seriously though - hope all goes well for ye both. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
time 8,596 Posted March 2, 2017 19 hours ago, Lord Fellatio Nelson said: David Walliams. As talented as syphilis. Miserable fucker too. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toast 16,132 Posted March 2, 2017 On 28/02/2017 at 18:30, Toast said: Oh please don't mention lawn mowers. The grass at Chateau Toast is soon going to resemble a tropical rain forest, and there has been no opportunity to keep it in check. Last year I managed to give it a haircut in January which was a first, but it's been far too wet this time. Poor old lawn mower isn't going to like it, and my friendly lawn mower fixing neighbour is with us no more. Well! Today the sun has been out, there has been no rain for 24 hours and a stiff breeze all day. Grass dry enough to have a crack at it. With trepidation I approached the lawn mower and it started! Have managed to cut all the grass on the highest setting, so just taken the top off, but it's a start. It's a pathetic thing to feel relieved about, but relieved I am. On the downside, today was green bin day, so am stuck with bin full of grass clippings for two weeks now. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rockhopper penguin 2,265 Posted March 2, 2017 52 minutes ago, Toast said: Well! Today the sun has been out, there has been no rain for 24 hours and a stiff breeze all day. Grass dry enough to have a crack at it. With trepidation I approached the lawn mower and it started! Have managed to cut all the grass on the highest setting, so just taken the top off, but it's a start. It's a pathetic thing to feel relieved about, but relieved I am. On the downside, today was green bin day, so am stuck with bin full of grass clippings for two weeks now. I find permafrost takes the strain out of gardening. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,218 Posted March 2, 2017 11 hours ago, Youwanticewiththat said: Are either Lardy or LFN obit-able? Seriously though - hope all goes well for ye both. No, we are just webbed fingered wonders. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Youwanticewiththat 611 Posted March 2, 2017 5 hours ago, Lord Fellatio Nelson said: No, we are just webbed fingered wonders. So that's how they grafted the monkey LFN. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CarolAnn 926 Posted March 7, 2017 On 3/2/2017 at 11:11, Toast said: Well! Today the sun has been out, there has been no rain for 24 hours and a stiff breeze all day. Grass dry enough to have a crack at it. With trepidation I approached the lawn mower and it started! Have managed to cut all the grass on the highest setting, so just taken the top off, but it's a start. It's a pathetic thing to feel relieved about, but relieved I am. On the downside, today was green bin day, so am stuck with bin full of grass clippings for two weeks now. I am actually going to have to weedwhack the whole lawn before it can be mowed. I hate spring in Texas. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Mad Hatter 1,092 Posted March 7, 2017 I demand the immediate demotion of Death impends for rigging the death list cup. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Joey Russ 7,220 Posted March 7, 2017 27 minutes ago, Morbidkid said: I demand the immediate demotion of Death impends for rigging the death list cup. I personally think Death Impends is doing a great job of an admin. He's made the forum after the update so much better. The joke you said, which was completely rude, had to have a punishment, so you got it. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
msc 18,438 Posted March 7, 2017 A friendly word of advice would be to not make it a you vs Death Impends contest for popular opinion. It wont end well. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Grim Up North 3,725 Posted March 7, 2017 Using fucking gobshite words instead of the words everyone has used for ages. Headmaster on radio today talking about families being 'financially challenged'. The word is POOR and how in fuck's name does calling someone financially challenged instead of poor make their life or situation sound any better. From the frigging dictionary - see below. Just use the fucking word to say what you fucking mean instead of namby pambying around it. Are there some fucking educational guidelines out there somewhere written by some fucking cretin that states that people can't be called poor any more? Fucking Jesus Christ - sometimes I think the world needs that fucking nutter Donald Trump just to fucking sort out these fucking cretins. poor pɔː,pʊə/ adjective 1. lacking sufficient money to live at a standard considered comfortable or normal in a society. "they were too poor to afford a telephone" 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
YoungWillz 21,033 Posted March 7, 2017 Trump "loves the uneducated" as I recall. But he doesn't give a hoot about the poor. Rich and Uneducated, now we have a winner... May has dumped "just about managing", probably because after nearly 7 years of the Tories running the country, there shouldn't be any. But we all know that's shite too... Budget should be fun... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Mad Hatter 1,092 Posted March 7, 2017 MSC its bullshit that I who had one the competition fairly her kicked out over butt hurt from a joke. Fuck you all and read first they came for by pastor noemollar. Death impends is a tyrant can't wait until he dies. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rockhopper penguin 2,265 Posted March 7, 2017 1 minute ago, Morbidkid said: MSC its bullshit that I who had one the competition fairly her kicked out over butt hurt from a joke. Fuck you all and read first they came for by pastor noemollar. Death impends is a tyrant can't wait until he dies. You really are a dick on so many fronts. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toast 16,132 Posted March 7, 2017 1 minute ago, Morbidkid said: MSC its bullshit that I who had one the competition fairly her kicked out over butt hurt from a joke. Fuck you all and read first they came for by pastor noemollar. Death impends is a tyrant can't wait until he dies. Personally I think the use of the expression "butt hurt" is grounds for a lengthy ban by itself. 7 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Mad Hatter 1,092 Posted March 7, 2017 I'm going to find msc's kids and slit their throats and write in their blood "why daddy,why didn't you play fair". Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
msc 18,438 Posted March 7, 2017 Fucking hell, lad, you really an irredeemable shithead. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Grim Up North 3,725 Posted March 7, 2017 8 minutes ago, Morbidkid said: I'm going to find msc's kids and slit their throats and write in their blood "why daddy,why didn't you play fair". Shit don't do that - who'll pick the favourite team name in the event of a Death List Cup tie going to a tiebreaker? 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
time 8,596 Posted March 7, 2017 I can see Morbiddik going the same way as Zorders. Very soon. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Paul Bearer 6,101 Posted March 7, 2017 2 minutes ago, time said: I can see Morbiddik going the same way as Zorders. Very soon. So can I. Cool your jets MK. Friendly bit of advice. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,218 Posted March 7, 2017 13 minutes ago, Paul Bearer said: So can I. Cool your jets MK. Friendly bit of advice. Just kick the twat out, he no longer has any redeemable qualities. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Paul Bearer 6,101 Posted March 7, 2017 41 minutes ago, Morbidkid said: I'm going to find msc's kids and slit their throats and write in their blood "why daddy,why didn't you play fair". Take a couple of weeks off to think about what you've written to MSC, and also what you pm'd to me. 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Paul Bearer 6,101 Posted March 7, 2017 13 minutes ago, Paul Bearer said: Take a couple of weeks off to think about what you've written to MSC, and also what you pm'd to me. 57 minutes ago, Morbidkid said: I'm going to find msc's kids and slit their throats and write in their blood "why daddy,why didn't you play fair". Oops, might be mistaken when I said you had pm'd me. Oh well, never mind. Enjoy your fortnight off. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
charon 4,943 Posted March 7, 2017 You'd think some cunt from Cork would know when to bottle it..... 5 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
