Things To Do While Waiting For Death... 2007

[Guest Guest]

I knew that ending on 13 hits last year was a bad omen and so far it has proved to be so.More than halfway throough february and no sign of a single hit .When did you last have such a bad start to the year as this?

[maryportfuncity 10,639]

Check out the DL Statto thread hereabouts, a question I asked this week. Apparantly, the most successful DL year ever started slowly.

[Godot 149]

Test drive a trebuchet.

[maryportfuncity 10,639]

Vote Blah a party hell bent on changing politics via protest votes. Led by a certain Captain Sensible. Now then, the last time a dodgy old comedy rocker led a party of political misfits, didn't he - like - end up topping himself?

[Lady_Fiona 0]

If you are an obsessive fan Buy Britney's hair

[Dave to the Grave 11]

Having just read one of One Shot Paddy's recent posts, I noticed his new signature. This got me thinking about the Pogues, and who actually wrote the 'worm song'. It would appear that it is an old children's song, my favourite version being:-

 

The Hearse Song-

 

Don't ever laugh as the hearse goes by,

for you may be the next to die.

 

They'll wrap you up in a big white sheet,

and put you down about 6 feet deep.

 

So all goes well for about a week,

and then your coffin begins to leak.

 

The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out,

the worms play pinochle in your snout.

 

They eat your clothes, they eat your hat,

they crawl in skinny, they crawl out fat.

 

They eat your eyes, they eat your nose,

they eat the jelly between your toes!

 

Your stomach turns a slimy green,

and pus pours out like whipping cream.

 

You spread it on a slice of bread,

and that's what you eat when you are dead!

 

Anyway, the site I found this version on turns out to cater for the hearse enthusiast., and on hearse collection one is a hearse called 'the Banshee', which may cheer him up a little after being 'passed over' on the 'Monkey' awards.

[DevonDeathTrip 2,358]

Spend some time thinking about the interesting legal quandary currently challenging Michigan jurisprudence officials.

[Madame Defarge 21]

Try some new recipes.

[Lady Die 63]

Keep a corpse in the freezer

[Captain Oates 21]

Fly an octopus!

[maryportfuncity 10,639]

Drive a 747 like a dragster! Does anyone know the when or where of this clip?

[Monoclinic 39]

Swim the Amazon

 

Aside from piranhas, anacondas and swimming in your own pee all day because of candirús (the ones that swim up the urethra then latch on with a spikey thing only removable by operation!) the poor chap has to wear a silly mask to prevent him looking like a Sun reader in the costas.

[Slave to the Grave 26]

Find out what cheese you are.

 

 

I'm Neufchatel. A traditional soft, white table cheese from Normandy in France. Neufchâtel smells and tastes of mushrooms. It has a dry, velvety rind, and a grainy texture. When mature, Neufchâtel develops a bitter, slaty, acrid taste.

[CarolAnn 926]

Find out what cheese you are.

 

Your name is: CarolAnn Your cheese rating is: King River Gold

 

An Australian semi-soft cheese, made from cows milk in Milawa, about 200km from Melbourne. It has a pink/orange rind with a dusting a grey mould, and has a sharp taste.

[Monoclinic 39]

Fantastic - surely we should be posting a gem like this in the Patrick Moore thread. Highly scientifc. In case you are wondering I am Mascarpone. A soft white cream cheese with a mild taste. Though I guess I am confused asapparently it is not actually a cheese at all, being the result of a culture being added to the cream skimmed off the milk used when making Parmesan, and as such, it is suitable for vegetarians!

 

My alterego, Monoclinic, however is the less confused dolcelatte.

[Windsor 2,233]

Your name is: Windsor the Troll

Your cheese rating is: Edam

 

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Edam is a pressed semi-hard cheese from The Netherlands. It comes in a distinctive ball shape, covered in red wax. It has a plastic texture, with a smooth, sweet taste. Edam also comes in black wax, which indicates that it has been matured for at least 17 weeks.

[Kain 0]

Kain

Your cheese rating is: Brie

 

Probably the best known French cheese, Brie is a soft cheese with a leathery, edible rind, and a white, creamy body. Brie is known as the Queen of cheeses, and used to be part of the tributes that had to be paid to the French Kings.

 

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I don't want to be Brie. I don't want to have a white creamy body. Or be Queen of Cheeses. It's embarassing.

 

I have cheese envy.

[Real Madron 6]

Your name is: Real Madron

Your cheese rating is: Romano

 

 

Romano is one of the oldest Italian cheeses, made by a method known as "rummaging curd". It is also known by its original name, Pecorino-Romano.

 

 

Rummaging Curd? i thought Romano was gonna a cool one. f**k sake im a Curd Rummager.

[Captain Oates 21]

Kain

Your cheese rating is: Brie

 

Probably the best known French cheese, Brie is a soft cheese with a leathery, edible rind, and a white, creamy body. Brie is known as the Queen of cheeses, and used to be part of the tributes that had to be paid to the French Kings.

 

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I don't want to be Brie. I don't want to have a white creamy body. Or be Queen of Cheeses. It's embarassing.

 

I have cheese envy.

I'll swap you Brie for :

 

Mozzarella!

A soft cheese from Italy with a plastic texture, Mozzarella is made from buffalo milk. It is commonly known for being the cheese used in pizza toppings.

[Kain 0]

 

I don't want to be Brie. I don't want to have a white creamy body. Or be Queen of Cheeses. It's embarassing.

 

I have cheese envy.

I'll swap you Brie for :

 

Mozzarella!

A soft cheese from Italy with a plastic texture, Mozzarella is made from buffalo milk. It is commonly known for being the cheese used in pizza toppings.

 

Ah, Mozzarella. The Italian Stallion of cheeses. 200 degrees in the oven - melt??? you must be joking. I am too robust for melting.

 

I would take the swap if RM hadn't pointed out the grass isn't always greener on the other side. I really don't want to be known as a curd rummager.

[Handrejka 1,903]

Cheese results

 

Your name is: handrejka

Your cheese rating is: Limburger

Limburger picture

 

A traditional soft cheese, originating in Belgium. Limburger has a red/brown rind with corrugated edges, and a creamy yellowish body. It tastes almost meaty, and has a legendary aroma due to enzymes breaking down proteins on the surface of the cheese.

 

 

Trust me to be the smelly one. Is it just me or is anyone else no having visions of Windsor in black or red wax?

Ah just me then.

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

Your name is: Lard Bazaar

Your cheese rating is: Oszczypek

 

Oszczypek is a very old, smoked cheese, made by shepherds living in the Tatra mountains of Poland from unpasteurised sheeps milk. It has a distinctive, slightly salty taste, and its colour various from pale yellow to brown, depending on the duration of smoking.

 

Blimey.

[Paul Bearer 6,100]

Cheese results

Your name is: heaven can wait

Your cheese rating is: Brinza

 

 

 

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Brinza (or Burduf Brinza) is a soft Romanian cheese made from sheeps milk. It is mild, and moist, and has a sweet aroma. If preserved in salt, it begins to resemble Feta. It is primarily used for cooking.

 

 

[Real Madron 6]

Name: Real Madron

Cheese: Cheese Strings

 

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you live in childrens lunch boxes. you claim to be 100% cheese, but you obviously have a high plastic content. you probably didn't come from any animal at all, and are genetically modified. no-one can eat you in one go, you must be peeled, it is the law. no-one ever liked your pizza version, and it went out of production very soon.

[CarolAnn 926]

You sure you didn't make that up?