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Curse Of The Eurovision

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Right, so second semi-final review....

 

We are in trouble. This semi is loaded with the best songs of the competition so far (Big Six still to be viewed).

 

It's easier to start off with who is likely to go out and imo, that's Hungary (who have let me down badly this year after a few good entries recently) and probably Ireland (mismatch of voice and song which needs a more mature voice to carry it off, but it isn't dreadful).

 

Otherwise I'm struggling to see a clear winner as everything else has some merit and it's a pretty diverse bunch. Belarus have stolen the Netherlands' folk clothes this year, the Dutch have a pretty strong vocal harmony group, Bulgaria have taught Ireland a lesson on how a 17 year old can perform a song, blah blah blah. Something good is going out and that's a shame.

 

If I had to pick one, it'd be Lithuania, they have some freaking energy and it made me sit up. Estonia have done it again.

 

Special mentions:

 

A: Croatia - it's an odd one because it's one guy singing two different octaves in two different languages. It's pretty damn good, but the bilingual thing is either going to work or kill it.

B: Romania - I haven't worked this one out. It's like they had a really good song and tune and then didn't know what to do with the chorus. So they went with a Yodel theme. I kid you not. Now, is it so bad it's good, or is it so bad, it's good that goes bad? I...don't....know....but it might be the kind of gimmick that gets it through to the final.

 

Off to watch the Big Six now...

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Big Six:

 

Ukraine - rock group whose gimmick is a countdown that exactly matches the length of the song. Ok for a rock choon. Prediction - lower reaches, potentially very low indeed.

 

Italy - Catchy Bhuddist frippery. Yes, you heard right, Buddhist! Prediction - lower reaches.

 

United Kingdom - After Brexit comes the sarcastically named follow up "Never Give Up On You". That might just piss the Euros off even more. However, it's in the same vein as a bunch of the first semi-finalists, so may garner votes on it's dirge like quality. Prediction - yikes, I'm going for "it'll really piss them off" gambit and say bottom three.

 

Spain - Summery pop song, the kind that's a one-hit wonder for its repetitive chorus. DL'ers should note he pronounces "Joost Do It For Your Lover" over and over, so should be adopted for 2017 as our theme song. Prediction - middle of the pack.

 

Germany - fairly standard pop song that has blatantly stolen a riff from The Police. (Well, if it's good enough for Bruno Mars...). Prediction - middle to low of the pack.

 

France - doesn't know whether to be an anthem or a pop song or a power ballad. Nevertheless, possibly the pick of the Six. Prediction - top 12.

 

I'll need to see the live performances before tipping my personal favourite. Enjoy the semis....(I know what you're thinking, stop that!).

 

Edit: hey, I'll stick with Portugal. This year a fiver on them to win and a fiver for a top ten finish.

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This is Italy's year, put the rent on. You have seen that the live performance features a man dancing in a monkey suit right?

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1 hour ago, Spade_Cooley said:

This is Italy's year, put the rent on. You have seen that the live performance features a man dancing in a monkey suit right?

I saw it later.

 

I still don't rate it, but Europe will have it's say and if a Buddhist monkey song wins, it wins.

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Ok I'm so against the monkey beating a beautiful, charming, calm love poem that I've stuck a full tenner on Portugal to win outright at 14s.

 

My local isn't offering top 4 odds as yet, but when they do, I'll be back with another tenner.

 

More I think about it though, the dancing monkey is a bloody good gimmick...

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Oh the winner will be some insipid ballad with a chorus about "war not being the answer", sung by a female from a Eastern European country that hasn't pissed off any in the last year. Someone like Serbia.

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Nah, Serbia can't get any love, this should have won two years ago and finished mid-table

 

 

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On 2017-4-26 at 12:48, YoungWillz said:

I saw it later.

 

I still don't rate it, but Europe will have it's say and if a Buddhist monkey song wins, it wins.

 

Is Montenegro's entry possibly the Gayest thing ever and that includes Conchita Wurst and Dana International?

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1 minute ago, Bibliogryphon said:

 

Is Montenegro's entry possibly the Gayest thing ever and that includes Conchita Wurst and Dana International?

It certainly takes the "look at the size of my pigtail" award!

 

My guess is it won't make the final.

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On 26.4.2017 at 18:04, Spade_Cooley said:

Nah, Serbia can't get any love, this should have won two years ago and finished mid-table

 

 

Hmm, not only do I remember that song, but it reminds me of ANOTHER "should-be-winner" sung by a well-nourished woman:

 

 

Having listened to the songs with better loudspeakers I now like quite a couple fo them, for example Yodel It! by Romania. The Icelandic song is very interesting, but the ESC is the wrong environment.

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9 minutes ago, Bibliogryphon said:

What do you think to Belgium's chances?

Interesting voice, it sounds like a song that could be played on the radio. I think the song would be better without the forced eurodance beat (though it might boost its chances in the ESC). I'm thinking of something around place 8-10, but it depends a bit on the live performance.

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Actually first semi has gone surprisingly well, live performances have been generally better than I thought the songs were.

 

Belgium, Albania and Montenegro decided that nervous off key singing was the way to go. However, Belgium seems to have a huge following.

 

As I said, plenty of contenders for the 8 places out.

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Ok, I've calmed down enough.

 

Portugal through. Still predicting a top ten finish for them - might even be a contender on the night. Still my personal fave.

 

Poland, Armenia and Azerbaijan? Seriously, with apologies to anyone supporting those countries, they should not have got through imo, but it was always the weaker of the two semis, so anything was up for grabs.

 

Roll on Thursday, we in the UK don't have votes, that is the tough semi. I'm still strangely addicted to Romania's entry. If anyone here has their country performing, good luck! It literally could be anyone....

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I thought Albania was pretty great, it really stood out and I was completely blown away by their performance. Definitely superior to the generic sub-par song which is the Greek entry, or the Polish one for that matter. 

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Think I'll have to hand back my Eurovish card with Hungary going through to the final. Bloody dire.

 

Knew there would be good songs going out tonight and I am disappointed for some. Lithuania didn't bring the energy they showed in their national final - really disappointed in how lost they looked on stage.

 

Bulgaria, Romania and Croatia all looking good for pointage imo.

 

I'll be out at my annual Eurovision party on Saturday, bring it on!

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The 39 Most WTF Eurovision Performances Of All Time

I'm trying to learn about your Euro music contest customs.  This seemed a good primer.
SC

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14 minutes ago, Sir Creep said:

The 39 Most WTF Eurovision Performances Of All Time

I'm trying to learn about your Euro music contest customs.  This seemed a good primer.
SC

#33: Now we know what the offspring would look like if Morbidkid ever fucked a bird.

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My early bet on Portugal to win at 14-1 might just pay off, you can't get anything like that anymore.

 

Anyway, off to drink whisky and watch the show. Bon chance and good luck to our international contributors and see you on the other side of Kiev, 2017!

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On 12/05/2017 at 15:59, Predictor said:

#33: Now we know what the offspring would look like if Morbidkid ever fucked a bird.

Still mad at me? 

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Yikes, I gotta right, Sometometimes love conquers crazy apes xx

 

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2 hours ago, Davey Jones' Locker said:

IIRC, the Beeb puts mucho money into the whole Eurovision shite which is why we dont have to go through the qualifying rounds.

I didnt watch it last night, havent for a few years now.

Wogan (RIP ) got it all nailed on.

It stopped being funny.

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